Chris Kringle

Santa Claus. This identity was created by my great great…you know what, it's too much of a hassle to trace that far back. Let's just call him my ancestor, Kristof Kringle. Maybe you've heard of him? He's not known as well here in IGNOLand, but I hear he is still recognized and celebrated widely in his home country of the Nordlands. They even interred his body there, though he died right here in IGNOLand. Nowadays, though, few realize that there have been multiple Santa Clauses throughout history. Kristof actually cursed our family line, you see. In order to stop the Krampus from preying on people, he magically bound the beast to himself and dragged him here, to these lifeless wastes of IGNOLand. When he died, that curse passed down to his firstborn child, and to his child after that…onward and onward through the generations.

It was actually my older brother, Cross, who was meant to inherit the position of Santa Claus after my father passed. However, my relationship with Cross was…volatile, to say the least. We were both raised strictly for a future in Christmas. It was the family business, after all - in more ways than one. You see, it wasn't just my father, the previous Santa Claus. My mother was actually one of the toymaking Christmas Elves. They fell in love when my father was still young, before he inherited the position from his father…though it was seen by many as a forbidden love, I hear his father supported it, and they were very happy together.

Of course, this means my brother and I were both half-elves…toymaking was in our blood. But while I wound up looking very nearly human, my mother's blood ran more thickly in my brother Cross. Not quite short enough to be an elf, yet not tall enough for a human. His ears were pointed, but relatively round by elf standards. As a result, he never quite fit in with his other peers - the humans teased him, and the elves shunned him, both viewing him as one of the opposite race. And though he was the eldest child - the one who should have become Santa Claus after my father passed - he absolutely loved making toys, more than anything else.

I, however, could not stand the job. It didn't help that I was also terrible at it. Meanwhile, Cross had a real knack for the work…but he was fated to become the deliverer of the toys, not the one who made them. That job was going to be shoved off on me, whether I liked it or not. Father was always telling me, 'Chris, your brother will be Santa Claus one day. He needs you to stand by his side and support him.' Support him? Why? I had never heard of previous Santas requiring that kind of 'support'. I wanted to be acknowledged for myself, but Father always seemed to see me as an accessory to Cross. I wanted him to praise me for a change. I tried all kinds of things to impress him…did you know I'm actually quite skilled as a painter? I taught myself to play guitar, as well. I was quite proud of that. But Father had no interest in those things. All he wanted from me was to make toys…and even when I put my best effort into the job, they always turned out terrible. I was such a disappointment to Father…it's a pretty classic story, isn't it? Well, it may be cliche…but this was my life. And I'd had enough of it. I wanted to make Father proud of me, even if it was for something I hated doing.

So I stole one of Cross' toy designs and presented it to Father as my own. How many centuries ago was it…? I can still remember the smile on his face that day. He was so proud of me. 'You finally did it, Chris', he said. 'I knew you had that toymaker's spirit deep down, you just needed to find it!!' I spent the whole day beaming, if not longer. For the first time, I knew what it was to be praised…it was such a great feeling!! And yet…I hated myself. I had stolen the design from Cross. It wasn't my own. Cross never said anything…he knew, of course. But in spite of his stature, he was always 'the bigger man' compared to me…a truly model older brother. He never said a word of it. Not to me, not to Father. Time went by as usual, and we carried on as normal. I continued to build the toy design I had stolen from Cross, and Father was happy. Before we knew it, Christmas time had come.

We had a party that year. Father always loved holding Christmas parties. He'd have all his gifts finished ahead of time, and his sleigh prepped and ready to go by early December. Believe it or not, Christmas time was the one time of the year Father actually relaxed…he was always saying that he wanted us to appreciate what all the year's work was for, and to pass the season peacefully. You could think of December - aside from that one night - as my father's vacation, the only one he would take all year. Anyway…I'll never forget that party, no matter how long I've lived. Father was bragging about me to all of his friends that night. Talking about how innovative my toy design had been, and how many children were going to love it. I had long since gotten over my guilt towards Cross by then…he'd never said a word about my theft, and I'd pushed it down deep inside myself until I'd gone numb. Of course…I'd gone numb to the praise by then, too. Hearing Father talk about the toy design no longer made my feel anything.

Until I heard him say those words.

He had been chatting excitedly with a business associate…of course, while Santa Claus' primary job was to deliver toys himself, those were not the only gifts children would open on Christmas. Parents and relatives needed to prepare presents, as well…and so our toys were often sold to small stores to add to their stock. Back then wasn't like it is today - toy stores were generally small, family-owned businesses, and Father dealt with all of his partners on a personal level. There was nothing corporate, no going through middle men. And of course, Father never accepted any of the money as profit. He was…too good for that. In any case, they had been chatting happily for some time when I happened to walk over, and Father pulled me in and introduced me.

'This is my son, who I told you about', he said.

'The one who made that toy?'

'Yes, the very same!!'

'Congratulations, boy, you'll go far!!'

'Yes, I'm confident that if he keeps going at this rate, he'll even be as good as Cross one day!!'

I think my heart had died that day.

I had tried so hard to make Father proud, but nothing I ever did was good enough. Out of desperation, I'd stolen a design from Cross and claimed it as my own. Finally, I had been praised, and for a time, this was enough. But as time went by, it began eating away at me more and more, though I'd tried to convince myself to block it away. I could only be praised by emulating Cross. I would never be good enough on my own. As myself. And even when Father had finally acknowledged me for something he'd believed to be my own…even then, I was only compared to Cross. I would be as good as Cross one day…? Cross, that genius toy maker, who would become Santa Claus, while I labored away in a factory working at something I hated, and wasn't even good at…

In that moment, I hated my Father, and I hated Cross. But more than anything else, I hated myself. If only Cross hadn't been born…!! I couldn't stand it. Why was I the younger child? if only I had been born before Cross…no, if only Cross was never born in the first place!! Why did Father love him so much, when he barely even noticed me?! I couldn't stand it anymore - that night, I had made up my mind.

I had to kill Cross.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute…pause.”

Santa looked up from his pipe, noticeably unamused that SG2 had interrupted his story at such an intense part.

“…is there a problem?”

“Well yeah, kinda…a few years back, that time Cross kidnapped you and tried to take over as Santa…we'd found a book explaining part of this story. Except, in the book, it said that you were a genius toymaker, and Cross was the jealous one who tried to kill you. And that's when you awakened your Christmas magic and sealed him away in that weird library dimension. Isn't this story, well…kinda the opposite?”

“Oh yes…that book. Truth be told, I was the one who wrote that.”

“You…wrote it?”

“I did indeed, and planted it as evidence for Krampus to find. I knew he'd probably go to you seeking help, but you'd never side with him under normal circumstances…or, well, I thought so at the time–”

“We're not working for…nngh. So you knew he'd bring us that book…and we'd join forces with him to fight a greater evil…?”

“Precisely. It was the perfect plan to get both Cross and Krampus out of my hair…and you took the bait perfectly!!”

SG2 struggled to bite down her rage, knowing they'd been used…but they still had rifles pointed at them. She couldn't afford to lose herself to anger now…fortunately, Karma sensed this, and skillfully took over the conversation.

“I wasn't actually present for that particular adventure, but I've heard the stories. Wasn't Cross deranged and Hell-bent on stealing your position as Santa Claus? That doesn't sound at all like the Cross you've described in your story so far…”

“Cross had been trapped in that isolated pocket of spacetime for…oh, even I've lost count of how many years it's been. His mind deteriorated beyond recognition. Listening to the world go by around him, writing enough to fill that space with an entire library…is it any wonder he'd gone mad? One of the only glimmers of his old self that remained was his strong desire to take over the job of Santa Claus and reclaim the position I'd stolen from him all those years ago.”

“But I thought he actually wanted to make toy–”

“BACK TO THE STORY.”

What happened next is exactly as you've no doubt surmised. I stole into Cross' bedroom in the night and attempted to take his life. However, he woke up before I could, and tried to fend me off with his latent Christmas Magic. Unfortunately for him, I had already prepared a backup plan - my father's bag. If I couldn't kill Cross, I could at least get rid of him by sealing him inside another dimension. And I succeeded.

Father never knew the truth of what happened to Cross that night. When we woke the next morning, he was simply gone. Mother was devastated. She passed away a few years later…I don't believe she even made it to the succession ceremony where I was officially granted the position of Santa Claus. Once Cross was gone, she was never herself again. Father took it hard, as well - he became much quieter in his later years. His eyes had lost the sparkle they'd once had, and though he still cared deeply about delivering toys to the children, it never again showed on his face. We stopped holding parties. Father began working through December without taking any time off. It only got worse once Mother died…and then, of course, I was subject to the harsh training to become a true and proper Santa Claus. I would never know if it was always this harsh, and Cross simply never let it get him down…or if Father had just become disillusioned with the holiday in the years since losing Cross and Mother. Perhaps the best word for it would be…rigid. He had become…a very rigid man. And then eventually he, too, was gone from this world.

That covers the story of how I became the Santa Claus…I won't go into the whole history I have with the Krampus personally. He's simply not worth my time. No…the part you wanted to know was how I came to become entwined in these various shady business dealings, yes? Well, I've got news for you - this is nothing new. If you really think about it, the signs have been there for a very long time. Yes…compared to Christmas in my father's time, the way we celebrate a modern IGNOLand Christmas is quite different. I no longer see any reason to hide it - I'm entirely responsible for the holiday's shift in tone. And I'm damn proud of it.

Christmas had long been a tradition in my family, stretching all the way back to Kristof Kringle's time. And for thousands of years, it had been steeped in tradition, culture, and family values, most of which had been brought over to IGNOLand by the Nords. What we called Christmas - after Kristof - was heavily based on the 'Wintertide' celebrations of the Nordlands. That's where you get a lot of the traditional trappings from - the family togetherness, the exchanging of gifts, things of that nature. Some other elements, like Christmas trees and candy canes, came after the stories of Kristof and the Krampus spread - but at its core, Christmas was about gathering with loved ones, exchanging gifts, and having a feast. While Kristof was known for giving gifts to the less fortunate to made the pilgrimage to see him, it wasn't until my great grandfather that making toys and delivering them personally became practiced - apparently he saw potential in spreading joy further by circumventing the need for people to make the long and treacherous journey to the Ice Plains. Don't ask me where the elves came in - this was all established well before I was born, and even I don't have all the answers. All I know is that it was my grandfather, and my father after him, who had really refined the toymaking business.

…now, while I say 'business', there was of course no profit involved. Being Santa Claus was a lifelong commitment. Though the curse only bound us in our duty to keep the Krampus under control, it was heritage and tradition that forced the need to deliver toys to children all over IGNOLand. It had become a social obligation…a practice that was not easily abolished by that point. And after what I had done to Cross in order to find myself in this position, there was only so much I could do. My life's work would now revolve around that one important night of the year, and I would have to spend the rest of the year, every year for the rest of my life, preparing for it. And all I would gain from this unbridled generosity was the adoration and love of millions.

That's when it hit me. If I couldn't avoid my fate of becoming Santa Claus…perhaps I could change what it meant to be Santa Claus. Father and mother were both gone. Cross would never return. Any and all authority on what it meant to be 'Christmas' had now fallen onto my shoulders. I had grown up in an environment where I was never acknowledged as myself, but this was my chance - to spin Christmas, Christmas itself, into something all my own. To shape the tired old traditions into something I could be proud to call mine. No longer would I have to steal ideas from someone else to be recognized - this brave new Christmas would be something I could proudly claim to truly be my own.

I would turn Christmas into a proper business.

I skillfully made use of Father's old connections, starting with the very man to whom Father spoke those hurtful words all those years ago. By now, he was an old man himself, having passed the family business to his own child. I made my connections with her, a girl about my age…you may know her as Mrs. Claus. That's right - we hit it off and later married. Of course, it wasn't a marriage based on love, like Father's had been…but purely from a practical business standpoint. The marriage benefited her family, and it benefit me. That was all that mattered back then, nothing like today with all these 'equal rights' flying all over the place…this marriage set me up in an ideal position from which I was able to expand my contacts and form new connections, building my own network of mutually-beneficial relationships.

Like my father had done, I would provide toys to various stores - except in my case, I would keep a cut of the profits for myself. I could then use those profits to finance bigger businesses, and watch my network grow and grow!! And as my fortune increased, I could expand my network further still - even the most stubborn contacts will bend with a little good ol' fashioned bribery.

As the times changed, so did business. Small locally-owned stores became multi-national corporations. No longer did we deal strictly in toys, either - there's only so much business in children!! By expanding to include all manner of goods, from appliances to electronics, to books and music and furniture and just about everything under the sun, we could reach the largest potential audience. Christmas wasn't just for children anymore - everyone wanted in on the action. And who wouldn't? With just a simple letter to the North Pole, they were practically guaranteed the item they desired more than anything underneath their tree come morning, wrapped up in a neat little bow.

But not everyone was content with just receiving…people wanted to give, too. But Santa didn't let that opportunity slip by him, either, ho ho ho no. Buying goods throughout the year, then selling them back for a higher price when the holiday season rolled around…but slapping a 'discount' sticker on it to make it seem cheaper than usual!! People would flock to the stores to buy up whatever they could to stuff their stockings, just to make themselves feel good about giving to their loved ones. It was so easy!!

“And just like that…in no time at all, Christmas had been completely transformed by my vision. And now look around you - commercials encouraging people to buy buy buy fill the airwaves. Wouldn't want to leave your loved ones disappointed, would you? Fortunately for you, there's plenty of time to secure the best gifts for your family, because Christmas shopping season comes earlier and earlier each year!! A little at a time, my empire is ever-expanding!! And all it takes is the occasional under-the-table tie-in deal…kok really makes the world go round, as they say!! Hoooo ho ho ho ho!!”

Santa kept laughing…SG2 felt sick to her stomach. All this time…all this time, they'd busted their asses and risked their lives for the sanctity of the Christmas spirit - the true Christmas spirit - while this guy just sat back in his comfortable mansion, profiting off their hard work…while all the while no one knew the truth. Santa was still seen by the public as a benevolent figure…someone who gave from the kindness of his heart, and got nothing in return. And this…this…!!

“There's just…one thing I don't understand…” Karma said, finally breaking through the sound of his ho-ho-hoing.

“And that is?”

“This shift in Christmas has taken place over the course of hundreds of years. Even Cross was, supposedly, trapped for centuries, and you're the one who trapped him…and yet earlier in your story, you repeatedly called yourself human. And it sounds as though your father died a natural death as well.” Karma glared at Santa, who only grinned in response. “Just…how have you managed to live for so long…?”

“Ho ho ho…I was wondering when you'd ask.” Santa took another long puff on his pipe and blew the smoke straight into Karma's face. “Try to remember what happened when that imbecile Cross managed to get the drop on me and steal Christmas. …oh, that's right…you were absent that year. Very well, perhaps a recap is in order…”

SG2 wanted to groan - more long-winded flashbacks, and this time to stuff she already knew about?! But she couldn't complain - the longer Claus wanted to talk, the longer they ought to let him. All of this was buying precious time for Bones to notice they hadn't called back, after all…!!

My brother, Cross…after I sealed him away in the Christmas Dimension, he spent hundreds of years just rotting away in there, unable to escape. …well, no. Perhaps that's not entirely accurate. First of all, what we call 'The Christmas Dimension' is nothing so specific…it's just an ordinary hole on space-time. You could think of it as another dimensional plane, or perhaps just a void of nothingness that exists just outside of this one. Like a one-way mirror, residents of that void can see into our world, though they can't interact with it directly…however, those of us on this side cannot see into it. As far as the average person is concerned, it doesn't even exist. That is, unless you know how to open up a portal between the two…however, by all rights, this shouldn't be possible. Even the greatest mages of all time have wasted their long lives away studying the secrets of dimensional travel, and none have ever supposedly figured it out. And yet, I have explicit proof that it is, in fact possible.

Of course, I'm no mage…I'm able to make use of the Christmas Magic, sure, but that's not really the same thing as the actual arcane arts. I wouldn't be able to make something like that in my wildest dreams, but fortunately I'd never have to. As you all know, this magic sack of mine isn't the 'bottomless bag of holding' it's usually portrayed as. It's actually a sort of handheld portal into that void. I don't know who created it, or how, but this was one of the magic artifacts my ancestor Kristof Kringle discovered in his travels during his many years as an adventurer. It's been passed down in my family for generations, originally little more than a curiosity, an heirloom…until my great grandfather saw its potential in the delivery of toys. Incidentally, he's also the one who learned how to make reindeer fly with piski dust, though like the elf thing I don't really know the specifics behind that story, so don't ask. Either way, he realized that we could stuff all the presents inside this strange space and never have to worry about unnecessary load on the sleigh, and we've been using it that way ever since - hence the term, 'Christmas Dimension'.

But in reality, it's just…a blank, white world. A void. Nothingness. To tell the truth, even I feel unnerved whenever I'm there. You remember Krampus' plan from last year, yes? To trap me inside this dimension and seal the bag for all eternity, preventing my escape. I will give him credit, because this was the one plan he very nearly could have gotten away with. If he had simply tied the bag tight and thrown it into storage, I may never have found my way back. Once you're in there, you begin to feel this inexplicable sense of disorientation. You can be looking right at the portal from which you entered, but fear that even taking a step away could leave you lost forever. If you knew how unsettling it could be, you'd understand why even someone like Cross would go mad after spending centuries in there.

“But I thought Bradios and the others went to that realm…isn't that where Cross trapped you? I thought I heard that they jumped into a strange glowing book and found themselves in another dimension, and had to fight some guardians, or something…” SG2 asked, her knowledge of the specifics a bit hazy since she was on the other team during the incident.

“Oh no, the place where Cross trapped me was the Realm of the Ancients. Another place entirely, unrelated to Christmas.”

“So…we're not gonna get a whole lengthy backstory on this Realm of the Ancients…?” Karma asked tentatively.

“Nope.”

“Alright, but what about the library under IGNO City? Supposedly that's where Cross was trapped, and there were hints that he may have even written all the books contained there. But ever since he was freed, we've been able to travel freely between that library and the city…”

“I don't know the specifics myself, but realistically that place should have been nothing but endless stretches of void. I have heard of this library, though I've not seen it for myself. I can only assume that my brother built it entirely on his own, expanding it around himself as far as he could, for all that time. That place almost has a will of its own. If he wanted for paper or ink, or even the shelves themselves, I'm sure they were readily supplied to him.”

“…look, we're getting pretty off-topic here, so I'm just going to leave well enough alone on how weird that is.” SG2 said. “But if I understand what you're saying and think back on what happened that time, basically Cross managed to find a portal to escape through after centuries of being trapped there, and tracked down that weird Christmas artifact thing…which he absorbed into himself and grew huge, just like Krampus always seems to do.”

“That's it.” Santa raised his index finger. “That artifact is the key. Yet another one of the many magical items Kristof Kringle had once possessed…although this one had been sealed away. Took me quite a bit of effort to find, too…and I hear there are even more of these magic items, some of them taken back to the Nordlands where they interred his body. Only a few still exist in IGNOLand…and some have been lost even to me.”

“But…what is it exactly…?” Karma had gotten the hang of this game by now, spurring Santa on to tell them more for the sake of buying time. For someone who insisted he was too genre-savvy to divulge his master plan, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

“I know even less about that object than I do about the magic bag. What I do know is that it 'collects' energy from an outside source and stores it. That collected energy builds up and can be absorbed by…well, probably anyone, really. Anyone who knows how to tap into its energy flow. It just happens that I'm the only one who knows where it's hidden now, so only I can do that. And before you ask how that Krampus is able to benefit from it too, think about it on your own for a minute. Krampus and I are bound by my family's curse. As long as that curse links our lifelines, he cannot die, nor can he kill me. I don't know the specifics - obviously he's never killed me, nor I him, so it's not like I have a lot of hands-on experience. But if the reason for the curse is related to our life force, it would stand to reason that he'd absorb a fraction of the power that flows into me. Aggravatingly enough, it seems to be split between us evenly down the middle - 50/50. As long as he's around, even I can't take full advantage of the artifact's power - but that's okay, as I've found my own ways to exploit it.”

“Exploit it?”

“As I said…it collects energy from an outside source, and stores it. I won't go into the specifics, as it's rather complicated and not something you need to know before I kill you, but let's just say that source can be…reprogrammed. And the source I chose to absorb energy from is–”

“Belief.”

For the first time, Santa actually looked shocked. It seemed this was one fact he hadn't expected the IGNOites to pick up on.

"…very good. Yes…what we've dubbed the 'Christmas Artifact', and 'Christmas Magic', is once again not inherently related to Christmas or my family at all. It's just another fancy magic item ol' Kristof once found, and one that has proven quite useful indeed. As you surely know, my father and his father before him refined the image of 'Santa Claus' to where it stuck in the public consciousness. Though fame was never their intention, the concept of 'Santa Claus' became iconic of the holiday…before that, Christmas was little more than IGNOLand's cultural twist on Wintertide.

Now, this image of Santa Claus is synonymous with Christmas itself. There are even people out there who refer to Santa as 'Father Christmas' and other such things. Over time, that image developed into an icon - the jolly fat man with the white beard and red suit who slides down chimneys and delivers toys to children while flying in a sleigh pulled by magic reindeer. As a very symbol of the holiday itself, Santa is beloved by everyone, children and adults alike. They hang ornaments from their trees with my image. They sing songs about me. Cartoons. Movies. Calendars. You can't go anywhere in December without seeing my face plastered all over everything!!"

“And when you realized that the image your father and grandfather unknowingly cultivated had become so widely-known…you saw the potential to market yourself and earn money just by virtue of being Santa Claus. All the while using the power of people's belief in you to fuel your empire…”

“Hooo ho ho ho!! You're not as dumb as you look, little tiger. You've hit the nail on the head.” Santa spread his arms wide. "All of this you see before you is my empire, and I am its king. You see, I realized something. No one ever appreciated me for me. Only when I stole my brother's toy design did I gain appreciation and recognition. I spent so many years lamenting my own lack of originality and innovation…

But then it hit me. Who needs originality? I used the connections my father established to expand my business contacts. I used the image he had cultivated as a holiday icon to spread belief in me. I used the magic artifacts left behind by Kristof to increase my power. I dope up the reindeer with piski dust and they pull my sleigh at record speed - I barely even need to steer!! I've built an elaborate system of corporate deals and underground exchanges to further push the Santa Claus image into the minds of the people, while the elves work year-round buying surplus goods, 'enhancing' them with cheap parts, and selling them back during the Christmas shopping season for twice the cost!! And when they inevitably break down, and people have to run out and buy another one, I see a profit from that too!! Everything I've built is the result of skillful manipulation of someone else's work - Hell, I've even made use of you to keep that idiot Krampus off my back during the one night of the whole year I have to do any actual work!! Originality is meaningless - I barely lift a finger, and the kok rolls in like a Christmas miracle!! HOOOO HO HO HO HO HO!!!"

Santa's corruption was revealed by SG2, Karma and Reese, who were then captured and made to listen to the backstory of how it all came to be this way. After narrowly escaping death, SG2 and the others fled the North Pole, but not before setting fire to Santa's workshop first. Enraged, Santa hired a team of 'Collectors' - a covert force of bounty hunters specializing in tracking valuable prey - to hunt them across the Ice Plains, eventually capturing them and meeting up with the man in red himself in front of Krampus Tower.

However, by the time Santa arrived, his Collectors had all been defeated. Enraged at having to do the dirty work himself, Santa pulled the Artifact of Belief from his magic bag and absorbed it into his own body, transforming into a younger and more muscular Super Santa. With this devastating power Santa was able to make quick work of the IGNOites before their party was rejoined by Bones' team, fresh from the Nordlands with Kristof's ghost in tow.

With Kristof breaking the curse on Krampus, a battle ensued between the two centuries-long archrivals. From this point, three possible endings follow - though only one is considered the true, canon ending.

In the Linda Route, Krampus succeeds in sacrificing himself and destroying Santa Claus once and for all along with him.

In the Krampus Route, Santa Claus manages to coerce Krampus into joining forces and ruling the holiday side by side, each reaping the benefits together. In this ending, Bones and the others are presumably killed, and Santa's empire only grows even more with Krampus by his side.

Finally, in the True End, Bones and the others manage to come up with a plan to defeat Santa Claus without any sacrifices. Bones manages to trick Santa into revealing his true colors while Bradios sets up a global broadcast to all of IGNOLand, causing belief in him to plummet. With the belief drained, Santa's power quickly fades and all the years of prolonged life catch up to him at once, causing him to crumble into dust. With Chris Kringle finally dead, the Santa Claus empire would crumble in a matter of time...and Christmas could go back to how it used to be, before commercialization took it over.

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