??????
Bones' eyes snapped open - he was back in the Ice Plains, standing before Linda, LG, and the others. On the opposite side of the field were Krampus and Santa, who were still logged in furious combat. Bones was…being asked to make a choice. Would he listen to Linda's pleas, and try to stop Krampus from sacrificing himself? Or would he honor Krampus' request to let no one interfere with their battle?
But Bones…had seen it. He saw what would happen if he made such a foolish choice. In reality, it was within the span of a split second…but the vision that had run through his head seemed incredibly detailed…and real. It was as though he had peered directly into the outcome of a different reality - an ability that should only be possible for gods. But Bones himself was divine…though he had never experienced anything like that before. In that moment, he knew - this glimpse into a future that could have been was a sign. A sign telling him to think carefully and make the right choice…
To listen to Linda would be to listen to his heart. The heart of a man who had fallen head over heels for the queen of the pixies, and who was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy…but was what lay beyond that choice truly the future that would lead to her happiness? Was Bones just trying to satisfy his own heart…by choosing the answer he thought would make Linda admire him?
To listen to Krampus was to listen to his pride. The pride of a nord man who had lived the life of a warrior, an adventurer, and a king. Certainly, Krampus' desire to end his age-old battle with Santa Claus by any means necessary, and dying an honorable death in battle, were things worthy of the Konungur's respect. But was that what Krampus really wanted? Bones did not believe that Krampus truly wished to die. He had finally earned the freedom he had sought for centuries…would he really throw it all away so easily, even if he could take Claus down with him? Dying on the battlefield with honor, and going into battle wishing to die…were both very different things.
Bones had only seen the outcome of one of these choices. It was possible that the future that awaited beyond the choice he hadn't seen would be satisfactory. Until he opened the box, he had no way of knowing what was inside. And yet…Bones sensed it.
Neither choice…would lead to the future he wanted.
"Bones, we're running out of time!!"
Linda's pleas brought him back to reality. One way or another Bones had to make a choice. But that choice didn't have to be one of the two sides on the coin fate was offering him…that is what his vision was trying to say.
"…LG. Everyone." Bones turned to address the members of his Voyage Team. "Can you…buy me some time…?"
Everyone looked at Bones in confusion. Time…? Wasn't this situation already a race against the clock?
"I have a plan. But…I need time to prepare. I need you to go in and help Krampus fight that monster…and no matter what, make sure you don't let him sacrifice himself."
"I understand, but…what exactly is it that you plan to do?" LG asked.
"…I just need you to believe in me. Please."
"…alright. I know you and I don't always see eye to eye, but…I trust you." LG turned to face the others behind him and raised his blade in the air, much like Bones would do with his axe when he issued a rallying cry. It was a sign that LG had been entrusted with the command of the troops in Bones' place. "Alright, my bitches, get your asses in gear. Grab your weapons, your spells, your tits, whatever it is you've got to beat the shit out of the enemy - because we're not going down without a fight!!"
Everyone nodded in unison as they prepared themselves. It was suggested that Linda - who was very small and had already been caught once before - should keep herself hidden under Iris' hat for the time being. And with that, they were all geared up and ready…for a battle they couldn't afford to lose. All they could do at this point was believe in Bones - not as a leader, but as a friend.
As they strode off towards the site of the conflict, Bones had work of his own to do - and first on the to-do list was getting his friends conscious again. Bones began to search the drifts of snow for his fallen companions. Who should he look for first…?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ack!!"
LG was blown backwards by a shockwave of energy. His body could only hold out so much longer…they had been fighting Santa for almost 10 minutes by now. On the battleground of life and death, that was already an impressively long time. Santa had weakened himself by casting off the artifact, but he still had a tremendous amount of energy inside his body…and though there was only one of him against 5 IGNOites, he was already pushing them to their limits.
They had managed to get Krampus to stand aside and let them fight in his place. Once again, LG urged him to believe in them…and to believe in Bones, who apparently had a plan. But it was hopeless…Krampus already knew that not even all of the IGNOites put together would be enough to take him down. That's why Krampus had already come up with his own plan - from the very start, he had intended to sacrifice himself in a massive explosion using his very life force. It was the only way to be certain…because the only power Krampus could believe in was his own.
But as he watched the IGNOites struggle so tenaciously, he began to have doubts. They outnumbered him 5 to 1, and Santa was still overwhelming them - it certainly looked as hopeless as he'd feared. But the thing about the IGNOites was that they refused to give up, no matter how unfairly the odds were stacked against them. Krampus knew that firsthand, having faced them numerous times in the past…but this was the first time he stood on the opposite side. Right now, they were giving it their all, not just to defeat the enemy before them…but to protect him, too.
Linda had since come out from Iris' hat and flown over to the conflicted monster. She sat on his shoulder and caught him up on what had happened so far. Apparently, the IGNOites had saved her, too, after Santa had trapped her inside a bottle. A year ago, Linda had trapped them much in the same way inside her enchanted snowglobe, allowing Krampus to wreak havoc on the outside…and even so, they set her free? Nothing made sense anymore. Linda and Krampus, and the IGNOites. They should have been enemies, but here they were, fighting on the same side against a common foe. And it wasn't like the time he'd struck a temporary truce with them to defeat Cross, either…at that time, he had every intention to betray them once he got what he'd wanted.
But now? Krampus didn't feel that way. If, by some miracle, the IGNOites did manage to take out Claus…he could probably take advantage of their weakness and crush them all once and for all. Then there would be no one left standing in his way of…what? If Claus was gone, what would Krampus even be fighting for anymore? He had already lost all desire to destroy Christmas…in that case, would these IGNOites even still be his enemies? Krampus' mind was filled with conflicted thoughts like these as he watched his former foes struggle against the superpowered scoundrel. He may not have even realized it himself, yet…but faintly, Krampus felt as though he wanted to believe in them.
"Stand down. Krampus is the one I'm after." Santa rose his fist and pointed it at the enemies surround him. "Unless you're that desperate for me to break you as I broke your friends, I suggest you heed my warning."
Santa was running out of time. By now, it must have already been close to 9 or 10 o'clock. The children of IGNOLand must be snug in their beds, while visions of sugarplums danced in their heads. If he didn't end this fight soon and hurry off to deliver the toys, they might stop believing in him…he could not let that happen. But in spite of his bluff, he no longer had the power to effortlessly crush these IGNOites like he had SG2 and the others. He was a fool for buying into Krampus' taunts and separating himself from the artifact…
What bothered him was that he still didn't understand why Krampus had done that. Surely he was trying to lead Santa into a trap…but what? Was he just buying time for these meddlesome brats to tag in for him? No…he seemed genuine when he told them not to interfere, and upset that they'd disobeyed him. Whatever he was planning, it was something he'd intended to do on his own…but Santa had already drained him of all his holiday power before he'd even transformed. Realistically, Krampus shouldn't even have enough strength to stand, let alone fight him again…and at almost an even match?
Something wasn't right. Krampus had recovered somehow, but how? At the time, Santa was fused with the artifact, so Krampus shouldn't have been able to draw any more power…from it…
And that's when it hit him. The entire time they'd fought, Krampus had been on the defensive. No matter what attacks Santa threw at him, Krampus would block every one - but not even once had he thrown a blow of his own. Was he stalling for time? No…he was trying to get Santa to exhaust what was left of his energy reserves!! Without the artifact feeding into him, Santa would eventually tire out, and then…and then!!
Santa had been so focused on penetrating Krampus' defenses he hadn't even noticed it…but in the back of his mind, he recalled the image of their battle. Krampus' arms, raised in a blocking stance. His elbows protected his body, while his hands protected his face. And his wrists…had been bare…
"…no…it can't be…"
"…?"
Krampus' signature shackles were gone. Santa knew the story - the curse his ancestor placed on the beast would bind him through the generations with those phantasmal chains. If the shackles were gone, then the curse must have been broken, but how? …the ghost. Kristof Kringle's ghost!! Claus hadn't understood why that ghost was here, but a ghost wasn't a threat to him so he quickly put it from his mind…so that was it!! That ghost broke the curse on Krampus, severing their life link and rendering him mortal…and he had convinced Santa to break his own connection to eternal life. Krampus had goaded him with taunts about his lack of belief, and he'd fallen for it hook, line and sinker!!
"You…filthy…!!"
As he was now, Santa would eventually tire out. When that happened, even these 5 weak IGNOites would be enough to overwhelm and defeat him!! Santa couldn't let that happen - but he'd foolishly tossed aside the artifact in a show of pride!! He needed to get it back, before it was too late!!
"Where do you think you're going?!" MTS shouted as Santa made to run away. "You're surrounded, and we're not letting you get through us without a fight."
"Stand…ASIIIIIIIIIIDE!!"
Santa spread his arms wide and produced a small shockwave - he couldn't afford to waste energy, not now, but this should be just enough to knock them off balance!! Unfortunately for him, MTS was a master of shockwaves herself - she sensed it coming immediately and jumped into the air to avoid it!! Santa tried to slide past her by breaking through Iris, one of the weaker links - but MTS was on him like a basketball defender. She would not let him break through!!
"You call that a shockwave? Pity…guess size really does matter." She thrust out her chest proudly. "Boobie Bump!!"
MTS lurched her body forward and knocked Santa in the face with her robust rack. He stumbled for a second, the impact forceful enough to make him dizzy…but he wasn't giving up!! Santa ducked low to avoid the unwavering udders, but MTS continued to slide to and fro on their makeshift court, refusing to let him shoot. With her arms spread to either side and her bouncing bongos above him, Santa had nowhere to run!!
"Chesticle Crash!!"
His head was quickly caught between the muffling marshmallows and crushed tight with immense force!! Santa fell to his knees, unable to keep his equilibrium with the ringing in his ears. But he wasn't out yet…thinking quickly, he thrust out his leg and swept it under MTS. The weight of her massive mammaries compromised her own balance and sending her toppling backward - at last, there was an opening!!
Santa bolted through the chink in their blockade, but his footing was still wobbly and unsteady. Tim dashed out in front of him, but he had already broken free of their barricade - one person would no longer be enough to stop him!! Except…his vision must have still been disoriented from being smashed by those merciless mountains, because it looked like Tim had split into two. No…three…four?! Santa then realized he wasn't seeing double at all…
"Right…you're the clone guy…but if you think that'll be enough to fool me you've got another thing coming!!"
Of course, Santa knew about the IGNOites' special abilities. He'd enlisted their help on many occasions in the past, and even given them Christmas presents that would augment their skills. And so, he knew that Tim's Clonomancy clones had a weakness…they were made from a portion his own energy, and so, while they were physical, they were significantly weaker than the original. Santa just needed to grab one of those clones and throw him aside!!
"Out of my way you two-bit fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-faaaaaake?!?!?!!?"
The moment Santa grabbed the imitation Tim by the waist, untold amounts of voltage flowed through his fingertips and shook his entire body. He crumpled to the ground and convulsed wildly as sparks of electricity danced around him. And within seconds, the fake Tims…had disappeared.
"You can create ghosts in your own image?" Kristof asked, confused.
"Not ghosts…but not clones, either. Simple holograms made from electric energy…you could think of them as afterimages, but trying to touch them will give you quite a shock!! …get it?"
Kristof shook his head, completely oblivious to Tim's bad pun. The Clonomancer hung his head in shame…but like some kind of highly energized rabbit, Santa just kept going and going. Still trembling with aftershocks, he scrambled to his feet…and began dashing through the snow. He was determined to find that artifact, one way or another!!
"HAAAI-YAH!!"
Out of nowhere, Iris came flying in and smashed Santa on the head with her banjo. It wasn't much…but since the others had already softened him up quite a bit, he went down easily.
"D-did I…help?" Iris asked hesitantly, not sure if 'smacking someone with a banjo' really counted as an attack.
"Guess so…" LG said, looking down at the collapsed Claus. "But if you're gonna keep hanging around with us, we're gonna need to get you some actual combat lessons, gurl."
But unfortunately, all their attacks served to do was make Santa Claus angrier. Once again, he rose from the ground like a revenant…and his eyes were overflowing with madness.
"I didn't want to waste any more energy…but you naughty, naughty children simply refuse to behave…"
"Have I been a bad boy too, Santa? Maybe you need to bend me over your knee and–"
xL, unable to sense the mood at all, was shot clear into the distance by a piercing energy beam. The others thought they heard him mutter something about being penetrated before toppling over and sinking face-first into the white stuff…typical xL. But this wasn't Spermstravaganza Saturday at the Gas Station Next Door. Black-red energy bubbled up from Santa's body, and the ground trembled beneath their feet. This wasn't the artifact's power he'd been leeching off of so far - this was his own, drawn up to the surface by insatiable rage.
"Uh, guys…? I'm not sure we should stick around and see what happens when he gets really pissed…" MTS gestured to xL, who still hadn't gotten back up.
"We promised Bones we'd buy him some time…" LG muttered. "And besides…"
He looked back at Krampus, who had been watching them the entire time. If they ran away now, not only would they be letting Bones down…but Krampus might end up going through with his plan to sacrifice himself. They couldn't let that happen!! LG pumped as much light energy into his Gayblade as he could…and charged forward.
He was knocked flying in less than a second by a swift open-palmed slice - Santa hadn't even turned to face him.
"Ghuak…" LG rubbed his mouth after spitting blood onto the snow. He wasn't out - not yet. But as he pulled himself up on his knees, he realized that Santa's target had already switched. He wasn't going after LG, or the other IGNOites anymore. The one he'd begun slowly walking towards…was Krampus.
And when LG saw the shining silver-and-gold object Krampus was holding in his hand…he understood why.
"You have something that belongs to me…" Santa said, his slow steps a complete contrast to his frantic movements from earlier. "Hand it over now, and I may still let you live."
"…you know you can't kill me." Krampus bluffed - he didn't know Santa had already figured out the curse had been broken.
"…"
Without another word, Santa charged furiously toward Krampus. Krampus reacted quickly and rose his knee to block the strike…but as long as he held the artifact, his hands were compromised!! Not only could he not fight back, but he could no longer put up a proper defense. He had to run for it…but with Santa's second wind, his speed already far surpassed Krampus'. Could he try to throw the artifact to LG, or one of the others? No, they weren't close enough - Santa would snatch it before they were able to!!
Krampus was stuck…in the end, he was right all along. He couldn't believe in the power of anyone but himself…there was no longer any choice. If the alternative was this Santa Claus once again getting his hands on that infernal relic and regaining his immortality, Krampus would put an end to him here and now…while there was still a chance.
"HAND IT OVER!!!"
Krampus held the object of his rival's desire behind his back and continued to block his punches with his single free hand. It wouldn't last for very long…he had only one chance!! Krampus' body began to emit a faint white light. It grew gradually brighter and spread from his body to surround Santa's as well. He was…drawing him in…and then, the two of them would explode.
"Linda, get out of here, quickly." Krampus spoke under his breath to the pixie who'd hidden herself beneath his shoulder fur.
"No!! If I leave you now…I won't leave you now!! I know what you'll do!!"
"There aren't any other options!! Please, you must let me do this!!"
"I'M GONNA COUNT TO THREE, AND IF I DON'T HAVE MY ARTIFACT BY THEN I'M BLOWING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU SKY HIGH, EVEN IF IT DRAINS EVERYTHING I'VE GOT!!!"
"LINDA, PLEASE!!"
"ONE!!"
"I won't let you do this!!" Linda cried.
"TWO!!"
"Krampus…don't…!!" LG shouted from the distance.
"THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
Krampus' light and Santa's dark energy spread out and mixed…and then, as they struggled for dominance–
"Sorry for the wait!!"
Two axes came between the pair…and pushed them apart. Bones, re-energized and in his armored form, stood in the middle. But besides having a bit more vigor about him, everything looked exactly the same…so what was it that took him so long?
"Bones…" Krampus said, a bit of surprise in his voice. He hadn't actually expected him to show…
"Take her and get out of here." Bones gestured his head towards Krampus' shoulder.
"…I told you not to let anyone interfere with my fight."
"And I kept my word." Bones swung both Tvær Skeri axes at once, knocking Santa away from the green demon with a forceful shockwave. "This isn't your battle anymore. It's ours."
"…"
"Hey, Claus!!" Bones pointed his axes in challenge. "Get up. I'm calling you out."
"…you…" Santa clambered to his feet, clutching his shoulder. "You were half dead last I saw you. What happened…?"
It was true - Santa had managed to crack and dent Bones' armor before Krampus stepped in and took his place. His arm had even been fractured badly enough that he could barely swing his axe. And yet now, the Bones standing before him looked as good as new…
"…Trade secret." Bones smirked. "But that's not important. What matters is that I'm here now, and I've come to take back my Christmas."
"…Your Christmas…Hoooo ho ho ho!!" Santa threw his head back and laughed uproariously. "Impudent whelp!! You think just because you've got half of IGNOLand to bow down with an iron fist and called it an empire, that makes you entitled to everything? Don't kid yourself!!"
"…I built my empire with my own two hands. I didn't piggyback on someone else's work and call it mine."
"And what did that get you, hmm? Though you claim rulership of all IGNOLand, more than half its nations refuse to follow you." Santa stomped back over to Bones, the two now standing face to face. "The empire you're so proud of is just a small collection of nations that have rallied under you, either by fear or foolishness. And what happens when they grow tired of being under your thumb? You'll just end up with another Outback incident."
"It's still mine." Bones knew Santa was just trying to agitate him and break his calm - but it wouldn't work.
"…Hoh." Santa grinned…if riling Bones up wasn't enough, he'd just have to switch tactics. "That may be so, but you're not satisfied at just that, are you? You still have plans to expand your reach by conquering other nations. It's never enough!!"
"…"
"Meanwhile, I have everything I could ever want and more. You may say Christmas only comes once a year, but while you're stuck ruling your sad excuse of a country year-round, I get to relax and enjoy the fruits of my labors during the off season!!"
"The…off season?"
"What, you didn't think Santa just hung around in the frigid North Pole all year, did you? Of course not!! I've got a cozy little mansion on a private island off the coast. I get to relax and enjoy the good life from January through October - good food, good drink, and more booty than I can handle…not that Mrs. Claus needs to know that!! Hoooo ho ho ho!!"
Santa raised his arms, gesturing widely.
"And look around you - come Christmas, I'm all anyone can ever think about. I'm the only person who can work one night a year and still have more kok than I know what to do with!! All it takes is the occasional phone call to one of my many business partners to strike up a deal or two. They get to use my image to promote their products during the holiday season, and I get a fat cut of the proceeds and recognition!! Fame, fortune, it's all at my fingertips - if anyone can say they rule IGNOLand, it's me - Santa Claus!!"
"…you're a disgrace."
"Guilty as charged!!" Claus grinned. "And so what if I am? Money is everything in this world - I just found the ideal way to exploit it. People are suckers - as long as they have an excuse to spend money, they'll empty their pockets on the stupidest things!! Have you seen some of the holiday merchandise that hits the shelves every year? Dancing Santa bobbleheads with the buttcrack hanging out, t-shirts mugs and ornaments that say things like 'Santa's favorite ho-ho-ho', bags of candy 'reindeer poop'…people even buy things they hate deliberately out of some ironic sense of tradition, like ugly sweaters and fruit cake!! There are even Santa-themed toilet seat covers - you want to shit in my mouth? Go right ahead - you may as well be shitting gold bricks straight into my pocket!!"
"I never understood the ugly sweaters thing." LG chimed in from the distance.
"That's just it - it doesn't make sense!! None of it makes sense, and people know how stupid it is - but it's Christmas, and 'tis the season for consumerism!! They're saturated with ads telling them to run out and buy gifts for their families, friends and coworkers, and the money is burning a hole in their pocket, so what do they do? They run out and scoop up the most idiotic thing they can find on impulse and call it a 'gag gift'. And the ones that actually put thought into their gifts and buy something useful or fun for their loved ones? We jack up the prices on the good stuff while dangling signs labeled 'discount' over their noses until they're caught between a rock and a hard place - shell out thousands of hard-earned kok to buy something practical, or stock up on cheap knockoffs because they can't pass up a bargain!! Hoooo ho ho ho!!"
"And you're actually proud of this twisted idea of Christmas?" Bones snarled. "Kristmas - and Wintertide, before it - was a celebration of family bonds and togetherness. Exchanging gifts was supposed to foster the spirit of giving…not selfishness."
"Do I look like I care?" Santa grinned from ear to ear, his eyes wild with greed. "I'm friggin' Santa Claus - the embodiment of giving!! Don't I deliver the toys to the children of IGNOLand every year? Who cares where it comes from? As long as they get to write their letters to Santa and wake up Christmas morning to find it under their tree, it all evens out. The children supply me with the belief that fuels my immortality…and their parents supply me with their hard-earned cash!! HAAAAhahahahahaha!!!"
No longer caring about appearances, Santa launched into an uncharacteristic fit of mad laughter. But Bones looked undeterred - in fact, he gave a small smile, as though everything had gone according to plan.
"Thanks for the evil monologue. That's all I needed to hear."
"…?"
"Now!!"
Bones shouted into the sky. Santa raised his head to look up, but it was already too late…as the black-and-white blur came soaring down at mach speed, striking him over the head with a diving kick encased in ice!! Santa was sent skidding across the snow, straight past Bones and into the trunk of a tree. The snow piled on its branches was shaken loose and fell on his crumpled body with a loud plop. He shook it loose with a burst of energy, but the good mood from a moment ago was blown away instantly.
"Who…?!"
The mysterious monochrome marauder landed softly on the snow, but he didn't approach Santa…instead, he walked behind him, over to the pair holding the cameras.
"People of IGNOLand!! This is Penguinman speaking. This is not a Christmas movie or TV special or any kind of fiction - I repeat, this is not fiction!! I'm here in the Ice Plains fighting against Santa Claus himself–", Penguinman pointed at the extremely bewildered Claus. "–that man, over there!! I know he looks different, but don't let his appearance fool you - this is the one and only very real Santa Claus!!"
"WHAT IN THE HOLY NIGHT IS GOING ON?!?!"
Santa had been so caught up in gloating about the extent of his Christmas corruption that he hadn't noticed…that SG2 and Bradios had snuck up behind him some time ago. But they weren't there to attack him - why bother, when Santa had already attacked himself? The cameras had been rolling since Bones first arrived, and everything had turned out exactly as he'd prepared.
~~~~~~~~~~
Bones had managed to gather up the six friends who has fallen before his team arrived…and one extra, a young boy he'd never seen before. They were in rough shape - Bradios' core had been damaged, and many of them had broken bones. Getting them up and moving again would be no easy task…
Based on where he found him in relation to the others, it looked like Atlas had tried to run away at the last moment. As a result, he was fortunate enough to avoid the brunt of whatever attack had done this to them. Bones thanked the gods - it seemed as though their blessings of luck was smiling on him after all. Bones didn't know Atlas all that well, but he knew the centaur was a priest and a healer. If he could his manage to rouse this one, then the others should soon follow…
"Hey…come on, get up!!"
Bones tried many things to wake Atlas up, but none seemed to do the trick. It was then that he remembered the words of an old bestiary about a certain peculiarity common to all centaurs of the Wayward Woods…and slipping away for just a moment, Bones returned carrying something in his arms. If this didn't work, nothing would…
"Hey, uh…centaur…the trees are coming, the trees are coming!!"
Bones shook the large evergreen bough he'd plucked from a tree in front of Atlas' face. The familiar rustling sound, the fresh pine scent…it worked its magic on Atlas' centaur instincts, and sure enough, his eyes snapped awake. With a loud whinny, he rose to his feet and began kicking with his front legs in an effort to keep the Rainbow forsaken branch away from him.
"Hey, relax, relax!! It's just me!!" Bones tossed the branch aside - no longer needing it - and threw his hands up in defense. "You've been unconscious, and it was the only way I knew to wake you up!!"
"…Huh? Bones?" The light returned to Atlas' eyes, no longer crazed with primal fear. "What's going on?"
Bones explained the situation - by the time his team arrived, all of them had been rendered unconscious, and Santa had transformed into a strange form. Atlas filled him in on what he'd missed before that, as well. Once they were all caught up, Atlas set off to heal the others - though he could only do so much, considering he'd already spent a large portion of his magical energy in the fight earlier. It took a bit of time, but it was enough to get them on their feet again.
Bradios was a bit trickier - as a cyborg, Atlas' healing magic could only do so much. While it was able to get his human brain up and running again, his mechanical body was still badly in need of repairs. Fortunately, Brad was used to fixing himself up, and set to work on that immediately while Bones explained his plan.
"…and I heard him talking to Krampus about how he draws his strength from the Power of Belief. As long as people believe in Santa Claus, he'll just keep recovering his strength no matter how hard we beat him down."
"So you want us to somehow make people stop sending him their belief?" Karma asked, trying to piece together the situation.
"Precisely. If we could send a message to the people of IGNOLand about what Santa Claus is really like, they'd lose faith in him…and that should finally weaken him enough that we can beat him."
"But…how are we going to send a message like that? There's nobody around this wasteland for miles…" SG2 pointed out.
"I've already got it all figured out. Bradios…how are you coming along with the repairs?"
"I should at least be mobile in another 6 minutes, give or take. But my weapons will take a lot longer–"
"Never mind the weapons. You won't be needing to fight again."
"…?"
"Listen. I need you to set up a live broadcast feed and hijack the airwaves across IGNOLand. As many as you can."
"…are you sure? Last time I did that, you–"
"Consider this an exception. I won't hold it against your Neutral Nation."
The others were confused by their conversation, but SG2 had vaguely heard the stories. About 40 to 50 years prior, during the Great Empire-Outback War, Bradios had hijacked the media to broadcast news of his new Neutral Nation to the world. Thousands of people, fed up with the wartime and their patriotism for their respective countries wavering, came to join the cyborg…this lead to the formation of Bradios Banks, a sore point in Bones' history that he still felt bitter about to this day. For him to make an exception to a known Neutral for the sake of this plan, he must have been very confident it would succeed.
"SG2. You'll supply the cameras."
"…I…w-what?!"
The tiger was snapped out of her history recollection as Bones delegated her role to her. Who told him?!
"I know you always keep a few micro-cameras on your person so you can stick them around and spy on people…usually ones that are about to have sex."
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about…!!"
…Did you really think I didn't know?" Bones gave her a look that said 'bitch, please'. "I'm more aware of what goes on around my city than you seem to think."
Everyone reacted in shock and disgust at this apparent hobby they hadn't known about…except Azaran, who simply smiled and said 'serves you right' under his breath.
"…I feel like I'm going to have to explain myself later, but fine. Yeah, I've got some cameras on me. They're in my pocket…" She fished around inside the SG2Tiger suit and pulled out two small cameras no bigger than a golf ball. "…here we go. Good enough?"
"Yeah, that's perfect. You'll capture the footage and supply it to Bradios, who will broadcast it out across IGNOLand. All we have to do is catch Santa in the act of confessing his crimes, and his belief ratings will plummet."
"…that's actually a pretty good plan." Reese said, now recovered enough to assume humanoid female form. "One problem, though. How are you going to make sure people are watching it? It's gotta be close to 10 PM by now - all the kids are in bed, and adults too, probably. Anyone with Christmas plans is gonna be waking up early tomorrow morning…"
"The rest of you are going to use every method at your disposal to get them to watch." Bones replied. "Reese, Karma. I know you both have long-ranged communication devices. Contact your nations and make sure everyone turns on their televisions. I don't care if you have to declare national emergency - whatever it takes, get it done!! The rest of us will use our phones to call everyone we know, and tell them to call everyone they know. We just have to hope word spreads through the grapevine enough that we can get as many TVs on in as many locations as possible."
It seemed like Bones had thought this through. If they could broadcast the fight across IGNOLand, then the news of Santa's treachery would spread…from there, with any luck it would fall victim to the domino effect. They just had to knock over one.
"You, the centaur…uh, Atlas, you said?" Bones continued. "You're the fastest one here. I want you to go on a midnight ride - get down to IGNO City as fast as you can. Run through the streets and tell people to turn on their TVs. The City is the most concentrated urban area in IGNOLand - if we can hit it hard enough, it's sure to spread pretty quickly. The quickest route from here to the City is pretty much just one long stretch of ice and snow, with only a few small pockets of trees here and there - you can handle that, right?"
"Got it. Run from here to IGNO City, burning all the trees I can find."
"No, no. You can't get distracted!!" Bones yelled. "Guess someone's gonna have to go with him to keep him on task. Guess Reese or Karma will have to–"
"Um…I'll go…"
A small voice that Bones didn't recognize had spoken up - it was the unfamiliar boy he'd seen before. Bones had thought he was just an unfortunate bystander who had gotten caught up in Santa's rampage, but it sounded like there may have been more to it.
"…and what's your name?" Bones asked, kneeling down to the boy's level.
"Rasha, sir…" He seemed a bit nervous, but there was a resolute determination in his eyes. Bones liked those eyes.
"You're willing to ride with Atlas and warn the people of the city?"
"Yes." Rasha nodded. These people were strangers to him less than 24 hours ago, but had already done so much to help him - he felt like it was his turn to help them, too. "I've already ridden on Mr. Atlas before…I can handle it."
"Very well." Bones patted him on the head. "I'm counting on you, Rasha."
Rasha climbed onto Atlas' back and the two set off into the night. Even running at top speed, it would take Atlas at least another 20 minutes to reach IGNO City - they couldn't afford to wait another moment. Bones stood up and addressed the rest.
"You all know what you're doing, so I'll trust you to take it from here. …Azaran. Come with me."
"…?"
Azaran was surprised to hear his name. He figured Bones had skipped over him on purpose, considering his feelings for the Konungur…but it seemed Bones had something particular to speak with him about, and it was important enough that he wanted to do so in private. Once the two had walked a reasonable distance away from the others, Bones got right to the point.
"…Listen. I know you're Penguinman."
"…"
Azaran couldn't let his surprise show on his face. Why did he think he knew that? Azaran was always extremely careful to protect his secret identity - he had even learned how to conceal his zedkiel wings safely in the specially-made suit, and his entire fighting style as Penguinman was completely different from Azaran's. So how…
"It's like I told SG2 - I know more about what goes on in my city than you seem to think."
"…how long…have you known…?" Azaran asked in a low voice - he understood there was no longer any point in hiding it.
"Only for about a year. After last year's Christmas incident, there were a number of reports of a man in a penguin suit who had come to deliver the presents in Santa's place…since we had kinda left him hanging at the last minute. However, the members of our group were the only ones who should have known that Santa was unable to make the flight himself…so I was a little suspicious. With that in the back of my head I did a little investigating, and well…let's just say my top-secret special ops are a lot better at covering their tracks than you are yours."
He had been followed?! Azaran never once noticed the presence of anyone spying on him…he mentally cursed himself. He had assumed because of the crime rate that Bones didn't pay very much attention to IGNO City…and as a result, had underestimated him.
"But that's not important right now. I have a job for you - for Penguinman - something that only he can do. I know you're not fond of me, but the fate of Christmas, maybe even IGNOLand itself, is at stake here. …will you help me save it?"
Bones' face showed hints of desperation that he tried to keep hidden behind the mask of a brave leader. It was true - they were all in great danger. That was something Azaran couldn't easily walk away from…and besides, Bones had asked him for his help…rather than demanded it. Azaran sighed deeply - he didn't really have much of a choice.
"…if I help you…will you promise not to reveal Penguinman's identity?"
"You have my word. I'll even take it a step further - my forces will no longer pursue you or hinder you in your fight against crime. In exchange, you will however have to obey my laws - no more of this vigilante justice in my city. However…I might be willing to negotiate a few special exceptions if I feel they're justified."
"…I suppose that's fair enough." Azaran said with a shrug. "So? What is it you need Penguinman to do?"
"Just broadcasting this footage won't be enough. People could just as easily think it's a hoax - I mean, Santa doesn't exactly look like the classic jolly fat man they know right now. It's not easy to hijack a broadcast, but anyone can submit fake footage. We need a reputable figure that the people can trust to assure them that it's not fake."
"…and why can't the Konungur be that 'reputable figure'?"
"I'll be busy on the battlefield distracting Santa and trying to rile him up so he starts talking. Besides…" Bones turned away. "…we both know I can be a bit of a polarizing figure. Having Penguinman act as the reporter is probably for the best."
"…" Azaran was surprised that Bones himself would admit that…but he could feel smug about it later. "Alright, I'll do it."
"…I'm counting on you."
~~~~~~~~~~
The plan had gone off without a hitch. Bradios handled the broadcast hacking while SG2 manned the tiny cameras (which were meant to be mountain on a wall, but there was a distinct absence of those in the Ice Plains). Karma and Reese had already contacted their nations, and by now Atlas and Rasha would hopefully be running through the city convincing people to tune into their makeshift news show. And now Penguinman, the final piece of the puzzle, was narrating the entire thing.
Santa still didn't understand. How had these people come back from the brink of death so easily, and what was it they were doing?! He couldn't even see the tiny cameras between SG2's fingers in the dark, at this distance!! However, there was one thing he did understand - they were all making a mockery of Santa Claus!!
"*HOW many times do I have to kill you people before you'll STAY DEAD?!"
Santa reared back once more, attempting to power up - but as he quickly found out, he…couldn't. He opened and closed his fists repeatedly, staring between his hands…and the IGNOites. What had they done? Why couldn't he summon his power?!
"As you can see, this sham of a seasonal saint has been actively trying to kill Konungur Bones and his friends!! If you look out into the crowd you may see some other familiar faces - there's Kaiser Karma of the Blood Country, IGNO City's own DJ Jizzy LG, x…actually, don't…don't focus the camera on xL, and oh!! There's Tim, heartthrob of The Straight Experience!!" Penguinman was really starting to get into his role as a reporter, but needed to focus. "Ahem. Yes, you heard it from his own mouth!! Santa Claus doesn't want to make you happy - he only wants your money!! Look here at this shot of some highly incriminating documents one of our field agents managed to recover from Santa's workshop itself!! Scandalous!!"
Santa spun around to face Penguinman, whose back was to him and facing SG2. But he didn't seem like he was talking to SG2 herself…so what exactly was he…
"People of IGNOLand, take heed!!" Penguinman continued. "Santa Claus is drawing power from the belief of all the people of IGNOLand!! If we want to stop him, you have to–GHKK!!"
The instant Santa understood the situation, he was on Penguinman in a flash, hands wrapped around his throat.
"PENGUINMAN!!"
"So that's it, is it…? It wasn't enough to just humiliate me…you had to go and broadcast it?!?!" Santa's grip tightened around Penguinman's windpipe. "So that's why my power had been fading?! You've…you've been trying to get people to stop believing in me?!?!?!?!"
"Ghhhh…gaaahkkk…"
"PENGUINMAN!!!"
LG charged in to try and knock Azaran free from Santa's grasp, but Santa was one step ahead. He raised the pitiful penguin high in the air and threw him straight in LG's path!! The two crashed together and were bowled over, rolling backwards onto the snow.
"You burn my workshop to the ground…lay waste to the bounty hunters I hire to capture you…take away my artifact…and now…thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis?!" Santa's voice was nothing but a venomous hiss. "You'll pay for this…all of you…EVERY ONE OF YOU WILL PAY!!!"
"…what will you do? You've already lost nearly all of your power." Bones said coldly, stepping in front of Claus. "The people of the world have seen what you really are. It's only a matter of time before everyone loses faith in you."
"Not yet…it's not over yet. If I can just…" Santa's eyes, wild and demented, settled on Krampus. "…IF I CAN JUST END YOU!!!"
Like a feral beast, he kicked off his hands and charged at Krampus, leaping and pinning him down to the ground by the wrists. Krampus was caught off guard - the artifact tumbled free of his fingertips and rolled across the snow!!
"N…no…!!"
"YES!!!"
Santa made to grab it, but Krampus couldn't let him - not now that they'd come this far!! He lifted his knee to strike at Santa's unprotected belly - Santa winced in pain and jerked his hand back reflexively. Krampus used the small opening to roll over on top of his foe, grabbing the artifact once more - but Santa wasn't having any of that!! The struggle continued in this fashion as the two fought tooth and nail for possession of the glowing relic…until finally, Krampus managed the strength to kick Claus away far enough that he could scramble back to his feet. He clutched the artifact tightly in both hands as Santa nursed a bloody nose.
"…hand it over!! It does you no good!!" Santa yelled in a shrill voice. "There's no one who believes in you!!"
"…anything's better…than letting it fall into your hands…"
Santa snarled…but he had to calm down. If he could just regain his composure…he would remember that his true talent was in skillfully manipulating others.
"Krampus…think about what you're doing!! Don't you…wish that power could be yours?"
"…?"
"That's right, just like before. We could share the power once more, just like it used to be…no, even better!! W-we could be…partners!!"
"Partners…with you? I'd sooner die!!"
"Come on, I'm not that bad…think about what my reputation could do for you!! Krampus and Santa, working together!! Instead of having me make the naughty list, it could be Krampus that punishes the bad children…drags them up to his mountain fortress!! You already have a reputation for that sort of thing, right? We can REVIVE it!! The children will fear you…we can spread a tale of terror that makes SURE the children behave themselves at Christmas, unless they want a visit from the Krampus!!"
"How does that benefit me in any way?" Krampus growled. "You would still get all the love, and I would be hated."
"LOVE?! I thought you were a creature who fed on fear and dismay!! We could use that - their 'belief' in Krampus would be born out of fright!!"
"…"
Krampus…was tempted. Long had he grown tired of the loneliness he'd suffered in the hundreds of years he'd spent cursed. The reputation Claus spoke of was a relic of the distant past…there were barely any in the modern world who still believed in Krampus. Perhaps what he wanted wasn't to be beloved…but to, at the very least, be remembered. Even if it was as a cruel beast who devoured misbehaving children…
"Consider it…the power could be yours once more, at double, no, triple what it used to be!! I can make it happen with but a word - all you have to do is hand the artifact over…and agree to join me."
Krampus clutched the artifact tightly as he gazed into Santa's eyes…they were tinged with madness, but he sensed no dishonesty. He was prepared to give Krampus a role, and a reason to live…all he had to do was become the pariah. But was that…really the role he wanted…?
"KRAMPUS!! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!"
That voice belonged to LG…the same one who had urged him so many times to have faith in them. Certainly, they had surprised him a lot today…and there was a part of him that really did want to believe in them. But he had been burned so many times before…could he really count on them not to betray him?
"Forget about them, Krampus!! Join me!! Together…we can rule Christmas!! Isn't that what you've always wanted?"
…was it…what he wanted? Krampus was so confused…hundreds of years worth of feelings and memories swirled around inside his head. His plots, his goals, his constant defeats at the hands of these IGNOites…but on the other hand, it was Claus. Claus had proven time and time again that he was only out for his own personal gain…and yet, the power they'd shared when they were bound was the one constant in his life…something he could always depend on.
"You've finally got your wish, Krampus!! The curse has been lifted!!" LG cried. "You're already free - don't let him control you!!"
"Come…stand on my side and together we can finish off these impertinent children who've tormented you all these years!!"
If Claus was serious about sharing that power, even if he was thinking only of his own benefit…Krampus would be strong enough to crush these IGNOites and get some semblance of revenge. But was that even what he wanted anymore? Sure, they'd put him through the wringer time and time again, but…the one who always put them up to it had been…Claus. Though, if they were partners, Claus would have no reason to attack him anymore…
"BELIEVE IN US!!!"
"THERE IS NO ONE WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!! JOIN ME AND TEACH THEM ALL A LESSON IN FEAR!!"
"I don't know…who I can trust…!!"
As Krampus fell to his knees in anguish, torn between two sides…a hand came and clasped him on the shoulder. When he looked up, he saw that it belonged to Bones…back in his human form. But Bones wasn't looking at him - with his hand still firmly on Krampus' shoulder, Bones stared ahead at Santa Claus. And with a voice filled with unwavering honesty…he spoke the words Krampus least expected to hear.
"…I believe in Krampus."
LG understood what Bones was trying to do, and joined him at his side…placing a hand next to Bones'.
"I believe, too."
One by one…the IGNOites approached Krampus on the ground. Santa was too weak, and too dumbstruck, to try and stop them…and sure enough, each of them in turn place their hand somewhere on their once hated holiday foe…and said those words.
"I believe in Krampus."
"Yeah, me too."
"I believe in him, too."
"He's not so bad, after all."
"I believe…that he's a sexy beast."
"I believe!!"
Krampus' mouth hung open, and his eyes were wide with disbelief. All of the IGNOites had come to stand by his side, facing away from Santa Claus…and loudly proclaiming their belief in him.
"…you truly are a changed beast…no, a changed man. I am proud to have been able to come here and witness this moment."
That one was Kristof…the man he'd spent several centuries hating. But he was also the one who had finally broken the very curse he'd bound him with…and now he, too, looked down at him with a kind smile. Kristof…believe in Krampus.
"I believe in Krampus."
The last one to join the mob of Krampus supporters…was Linda. She flitted through the frosty air and came to land on her favorite perch - Krampus' shoulder. And she, too, placed a tiny hand him.
"…everyone…"
"Oh WHAT IS THIS?!" Santa stamped the ground furiously and spoke in a mocking voice. "Friendship? The power of love? Do you think this is some kind of sappy holiday special?! Give me a break!! I'm offering you something real - something you can actually use!! Power!! Money!! Recognition!! How could you let yourself be swayed by this…this…DRIVEL?!"
"Drivel, huh?" SG2 said with a grin, pointing the camera at the enraged Claus. "I dunno, why don't we ask the viewers at home what they think?"
Bradios turned a monitor attachment so that Santa could see. On the screen…was what looked some kind of broadcast poll. Santa squinted to try and read it - he hadn't brought his reading glasses, after all.
"Which holiday figure do you believe in most…Santa, or…Krampus…?"
Santa's heart sank. The green bar that represented Krampus had rapidly approached almost 85%…while the red bar that represented Santa Claus had sunk lower than 7%. The blue bar, which represented no strong feeling for either, was slightly longer than Santa's…
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"
Santa screamed madly into the sky…but the IGNOites were unflinching. There was no longer anything he could do to harm them.
"Krampus…think you can handle the rest?"
Krampus was still stunned into a stupor. He wanted to write it off as a dream - surely something like this could never truly happen. But as the artifact he clutched tightly in his clawed hands began to pulsate and glow with energy and heat…he knew that this was real. Krampus closed his eyes and breathed deep, letting the power flow into his body…and surround him with a familiar aura. However, the red quickly faded away…and the flames around his body shone only with a bright green hue.
"T-think about what you'll be losing!! Fame, fortune!! POWER!!!"
"I already have all the power I need…to put an end to you."
"Stop…S-STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO----
Santa tried to run, but he was stopped in place by some kind of invisible force. Before he could try to make sense of what was going on, his head flew back…and a voiceless scream ripped from his throat. His body began to shrivel and deflate as all the years of his unnaturally extended life caught up to him at once…and finally, he crumbled to dust and was blown away on the wind. All that remained where he once stood…was that all too familiar red hat.
Finally…it was over.
The artifact fell from Krampus' hand…and onto the ground below.
"…so…what do we do with this thing, now…?" asked SG2, pointing at the fallen relic.
"It must be destroyed. Such power cannot be allowed to fall into the wrong hands ever again." Kristof's voice was commanding.
"You said it was evil, right? I dunno…" LG mused, folding his arms. "Didn't it help us in the end? Doesn't seem that evil to me."
"No…" said Krampus. "He's right. You saw what that power did to Claus. Besides…" Krampus turned to face Bones and the others. "I already know I have people who believe in me."
"Geez, this is getting pretty sappy, amiri–OW!!" xL had leaned in to whisper to LG, only to once again find himself on the receiving end of an elbow strike.
"Are you sure about this?" Bones asked.
"Yes."
Krampus bent to pick up the artifact, which it had continued to pulsate with a faint white glow. He closed his eyes and concentrated, returning all the energy he had borrowed to defeat Claus. The artifact began to pulsate, shaking more and more violently until finally…it shattered. It seemed that the key to destroying it was to refuse its gift of power, sending it right back and overloading it…
"I never thought I'd live to see this day." Kristof said, floating over to his ancient adversary.
"…you're a ghost."
"Haha!! I suppose that is true."
The two stood face to face in silence for a long moment. There were so many things accumulated over hundreds of years they must have wanted to say…but at the same time, their emotions were not so easily expressed with words. But, they knew. Only they knew the truth behind the ancient story of what happened that day Kristof visited Krampus' mountain cave…but from Kristof's own testament, it had seemed that Krampus really was an unrepentant monster. But anything could change if given enough time…even Krampus.
"…I suppose this is goodbye."
"Yeah."
The unfinished business that had kept Kristof tethered to this world had finally come to an end. Krampus had reformed, the dangerous artifact had been destroyed…and the Kringle line had come to an end. All that was left was to unbind his soul from the staff…and he, too, would finally be free.
"Then farewell…my friend."
Kristof instructed Tim to place the staff upon the ground, and chant the spell he had been taught. And with one final goodbye, Kristof Kringle - the original Santa Claus - had finally left the the world of the living. Perhaps Bones would meet him again one day at the gates of Verdhöll, resting place of all honorable nord warriors…but for now, it was time for them all to leave this place.
"…what will you do now?" Bones asked Krampus, who stared aimlessly up at the sky. "With Santa Claus gone, you should no longer have any ill will towards Christmas…"
"…I think…I want to see the world."
Krampus had spent hundreds of years bound by Kristof's curse, unable to travel far from his home in the Ice Plains. He had barely seen a fraction of IGNOLand - let alone what the world had to offer. Now that he was free, this was his first and greatest wish. But he understood…what that would mean.
Krampus reached out a hand…and Linda came to land upon it. He lifted her up to his face, and they, too…prepared to say their goodbyes.
"…I'm sorry, Linda."
"Don't be…this is what you've wanted." She wiped a tear. "I only wish I could come with you. But…my obligation is to my people."
"I understand that. Maybe someday–"
"…I would like that very much."
"…Yeah. Me, too."
"And hey, if I ever need a hardware store–"
"–maybe I'll see you there."
They laughed together, and the two spoke at length of things only they would understand. Sad stories of old promises unfulfilled, laughter over memories of the past…happy stories of simpler times. Bones still didn't understand how it was these two apparently went so far back together when Krampus had supposedly been stuck in the Ice Plains, but he supposed it didn't matter anymore. Seeing the two of them together, the way their eyes lit up just talking to each other…Bones understood.
"…I never even had a chance, did I…" he whispered under his breath.
Krampus took one final look at the familiar ice tower that loomed over them from the mountain top. It was hard to tell if the look on his face was one of happiness at finally being able to leave…or a bitter nostalgia for knowing it was time to go. It was like a kid graduating from their old familiar school - anxious and excited to move on to the new adventures ahead, but simultaneously struck with the emptiness of leaving behind something so stable and familiar. Then, he turned to the IGNOites…and bid them a last goodbye.
"…I know we've caused each other no end of trouble in the past, and I won't say 'thank you for saving me', or anything like that…but I won't forget you."
"I think I can speak for us all when I say the feeling is mutual." Bones said with a smile. "…well, except for SG2, at least."
SG2 cocked her head and said 'I don't get it' as the two shared a laugh at her expense.
"Maybe we'll see you around sometime."
"Yeah…maybe. …So long."
Krampus turned his back to them and threw his arm up in a backhanded wave. He was headed for the harbor, where he'd hoped to catch a ship back to the Nordlands. He wasn't sure how warmly he'd be welcomed by those who knew the old legends, but he wanted to experience a traditional Wintertide in the place he once called home. Linda had flown away with him, wanting to see him off at the docks - even though they'd already said their awkward goodbyes, she felt it would be more awkward to stick around with Bones and the others. Meanwhile, the other IGNOites regrouped and thought about what they ought to do next.
"So Santa's really gone this time, huh?" SG2 asked, looking up at Bones. "Who's gonna deliver the toys now?"
"I think I saw Penguinman fly off saying he'd handle it again…but I do think we'll have to address the matter of getting a replacement Santa Claus after the holiday."
"You don't think there'd be a backlash, after what just happened? I mean…the Santa Claus reputation's kinda been tarnished."
"We'd just need to come up with a new name and image to separate it from this Santa. …but I think it's important that Kristof's original legacy - and the spirit of giving unto others - is preserved. We just need to remind everyone of what Christmas is all about."
"Well, you're right about one thing", said the tiger, stretching her arms behind her back. "…all of that can wait until after the holiday. Right now I just want to get back home and order some pizza. I'm exhausted."
And so, the IGNOites prepared for their departure. Bones had already sent his ship back to Knochenstadt (and it would have been weird following Krampus to the harbor even if he hadn't) so they headed back to the broken-down sleigh the bounty hunters had left behind. It wasn't in the best shape, but Bradios was able to get it up and running again in no time. Karma called for another warbat to pick her up while Fluffyfang recovered, and bid the others farewell.
Once they returned to the city, everyone went their separate ways - they were simply too beat to think about having a Christmas party tonight. But they decided to reconvene a few days later once they'd recovered, and on the evening of the 27th…
~~~~~~~~~~
The IGNOites, now rested and recovered, had gathered in the usual place of holiday festivity - Castle Bones. Since they hadn't expected to have a Christmas party at all this year, and were left with limited time in which to pick out appropriate gifts, it was decided that they would play the game of Present Swap. Each IGNOite would buy a general purpose gift with no particular recipient in mind, and - anonymously - it would be placed within the gift pool. Drawing numbered straws, each member would then take turns picking out a gift from within the pile…and would be stuck with whichever gift they chose.
However, it seemed everyone was either too tired or too fed up with Christmas commercialism after the ordeal they had…so each and every one of their gifts were purchased at a certain Gas Station Next Door. The underside of the tree overflowed with ridiculous items…canned pancakes, butter beans, SqueezJizz™, an 8-pack of vibrating foreskin, Candoms©-brand condom-flavored candies, a tub of Grandma Utterbutter®'s BabyButter™, Cheese Coffee© K-Cups, a bottle of ice-cold panties…the list went on. Maybe they had gone and bought right into the 'gag gift' mentality that Santa had been so fond of exploiting…but at least in this case, they were supporting a local business and helping their kinda-sorta-friend xL find some place other than a park bench or underneath some hapless stranger's bed to spend the night.
Fortunately, nobody had to take any of the highly undesirable gifts home…because Atlas was quick to burn the Christmas tree to the ground, and all the presents conveniently got caught up in the blaze as well.
When all was said and done, it was a bit of an unusual Christmas…but they spent it together with lots of joy, laughter, and shared desire to throw xL into space.
"SG2."
As the evening wore on and the party broke up, Bones called SG2 aside to speak to her privately.
"Yes, my liege?"
"About the other day, when I revealed your human identity to the others…"
"…oh, that? I'd already forgotten."
"…and the hidden cameras."
"…okay, that I'm still a little upset about."
"Well, I thought about it, and there's a secret of mine I think I'm finally ready to reveal to you. But you must swear that you won't speak of it to another soul - on penalty of death." Bones bent down and stared straight into the tiger's eyes. "Are we clear?"
"Y-yes, my liege. What…is it?"
This experience made Bones do a lot of thinking about himself, and about the future he envisioned. For one thing, he had decided that he would give up on his pursuit of Linda. Krampus had left on a worldwide journey, and it was unknown whether or not they'd ever see him again. Even so, she chose to remain in the Wayward Woods, governing her people and maintaining the life she had built for herself…over a chance to travel the world with him. Krampus may have been gone…but it was clear to Bones that her heart would always belong to him.
Bones realized now that their fleeting romance was just the next step in his own journey. What could await a man who had already found his place at the top of the world? Would he explore his sacred purpose as an instrument of the gods? Or would he forsake his divinity in pursuit of someone to settle down with and start a family? Bones was yet unsure of what awaited him on this path…but he decided it was time to let his most trusted adviser learn about his true nature.
"Are you SERIOUS?!"
"Tell. No. One."
"I got it, I got it!! Geez…"
With that taken care of, there was still one more bit of unfinished business Bones had to take care of.
<
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December 28th. Bones had gone out in disguise as he walked the snowy streets of IGNO City. There were still leftover signs of the empire the corrupt Santa Claus had built - after-Christmas discounts, trade-in deals for disappointing gifts, things of that nature. It would take time for the lasting effects of the commercialized Christmas to fade away, but Bones was confident that, in time, the spirit of giving would return to the holiday season.
The reason for his trip today was related to that. He stopped outside of a small, rundown building…it looked like little more than a warehouse. Above the entryway was a sign labeled 'Sanctuary'.
"This is the place…"
Bones tightened the scarf around his neck and stepped inside. It was certainly nothing fancy…but it was definitely much nicer than the outside let on. Cozy…Bones felt that was the best word for it. There were a few sofas and a television in the lobby, with chairs and tables set up along the sides. A stairwell lead up to a floor with individual rooms, and there were more down the other end of the hallway. A dozen or so people were hanging out in this area, but Bones hadn't spotted the two he had come to meet.
After taking a seat at one of the tables, Bones decided to watch the people while he waited. Orphans, the homeless, refugees from more hostile areas of IGNOLand…this place took all kinds. People from all walks of life, but they had one thing in common - they looked happy. They were kept safe here, given warm clothing and nutritious food…it was amazing how much that kid had accomplished since he first started this place up about two years ago.
After a couple minutes, Azaran and Rasha finally arrived…and came to sit with him at the table.
"You wanted to see us?" Azaran said somewhat coldly.
"Yes. I have matters to speak of with both of you." Bones ignored his tone - he understood now that's just how Azaran was. "Let's start with you…Rasha."
"Yes, sir?"
"You were very brave to ride out into the night to help our cause." He leaned over the table and pulled down his sunglasses to look the boy in the eyes. "And my friends told me that you were very strong before that, as well. That you saved everyone from being taken back to the North Pole by those hunters."
"T…thank you, sir."
"Strong, brave, and with a pure heart. I think Christmas could use someone like you. How would you like it become the new Santa Claus? Ah…of course, we'll need to come up with a new name for it, but I haven't thought that far ahead yet."
"The new…?"
"…I already talked to Bones about it." Azaran said. "Santa may have been a bad guy, but there are a lot of kids out there who would be pretty sad if there was no one out there to answer their letters."
"Santa's workshop was destroyed…so you'd be getting a clean start all your own. It's up to you how much of it you want to keep - the reindeer, the elves, the red suit, it's all just window dressing." Bones sat back in his chair. "But Christmas just wouldn't be the same without someone to give presents to all the unfortunate kids of IGNOLand…don't you think?"
Rasha was feeling overwhelmed. After everything that had happened, he wasn't sure how he should react…and anyway, was a young boy like him really qualified for such an important job?
"You don't have to decide right away. Take your time and think about it." Bones said, rising to his feet. "Azaran tells me you'll be living here in this Sanctuary for now. I'd like to offer my assistance as well in sending you to school at the IGNO Campus. Though that, too, is your choice. I'll be in touch, so for now just focus on adjusting to your new life. And as for Azaran…"
"…"
"I'd like to speak with you in private for a moment, if you would."
The two waved goodbye to Rasha and stepped outside through the back door where they could speak alone.
"…As per our original deal, I've made it official." Bones lifted up a sheet of paper stamped with a seal of approval. "Penguinman has the go-ahead to fight crime in and around IGNO City."
"…and in exchange I have to follow your rules…right?" Azaran sighed. "Well, I guess it could be worse. All that matters to me is that the people of the city have someone to watch over them and keep them safe."
"Speaking of that…I decided to chip in a bit of a donation for your sanctuary. This isn't anything official, and it's not from any of my government money, but from my own pocket."
"You're joking, right…?"
"Consider it a gift - 'tis the season, after all."
And with that, Bones readjusted his sunglasses and walked off into the city. He didn't know where the road of fate would lead him…but he could be sure that no matter what might happen, it would certainly be an exciting ride.
What you see before you is but one in a sea of possibilities. The difference of a single choice can lead to an entirely new world. Ordinarily, one cannot see beyond the outcome of the fate they've chosen...but if you are curious enough, you may open this box and witness a world that could have been.
