Episode 2: Have Yourself A Dozen Little Christmases

The then-third (now second) Christmas Story to be considered canon, Have Yourself A Dozen Little Christmases was the greatest undertaking in Christmas Story history to date. An outline was produce in late November, with the story writing beginning officially on December 1st. However, it took almost the entire month for SG2 to complete the story, despite starting 'early' precisely to avoid this crunch time. The story was also so massive it was the first to be broken down into official chapters - the initial plan being to release one chapter each day, every day until Christmas (had it met its original release goal). As the story was not completed until the 19th, the chapters were released in bundles of a few at a time, with chapters 3-5 spaced several hours apart but released on the same day. The intended effect was to build tension and antagonize the reader with mysteries and cliffhangers, especially with the story's overarching theme - despite the delay, reader feedback proved this was nonetheless successful.

To ensure maximum enjoyment, it's recommended you take at least an hour break between reading each chapter...though powering through all of them at once may be entertaining in its own way.

Have Yourself A Dozen Little Christmases

By SG2

Rating: PG-13 for crude humor, language, partial nudity, violence, and general brain-imploding insanity

Attention: This story was written with the members of the IGNOLand forum members in mind, and contains numerous jokes and references that will likely make little sense to non-members. You are free to read it nonetheless, but don’t be surprised if you wind up confused. The author of this story likes to abuse all manner of cliches, both of Christmas and general fiction, so the cheesiness and predictability is by intention. The writing will also very likely switch between past and present tense without warning because fuck the police.

Notes: This will mark the third IGNO Christmas Story being written explicitly with the intent of being more or less canon. It will also no doubt be the largest story yet, in terms of both length and general content. There’s going to be a LOT happening here, and as such it will be the first time I truly break the story up into concrete chapters rather than a single, long document. As I begin writing this, it is December 1st - the story has been completely outlined and I am giving myself a tentative 2 weeks to complete it (self-imposed due date being December 15th). The plan is then to release a chapter or two every day until Christmas, breaking the experience into smaller, more digestible chunks for your reading pleasure. Besides, I assume most people prefer their Christmas media BEFORE the 25th, because after that...who even cares, amirite? We’ve got a lot of ground to cover so I’ll wrap this up. I hope you will all enjoy the story!!

-Alex “SG2” Hoffman, 12/1/14

p dir="ltr">DISCLAIMER: I do not claim sole intellectual property over the characters or concepts referenced in Have Yourself A Dozen Little Christmases. The characters of SG2, Karma, Reese, Bones, Katie, Angel, xL, LG, Bradios, PWR, Hamel, Tim, MTS, Atlas, Iris, Azaran and all others referenced are fictionally modified likenesses of their respective personages. Small references to How The Grinch Stole Christmas belong to Theodor “Dr. Seuss” Geisel. A large number of minor jokes and IGNO memes throughout this story may be references to other copyrighted material as well, and the author of this story does not take credit for their conception.