Act I

“It's been…a long year.”

December 23rd - to ordinary people, there was nothing in particular special about this day. The following day would be Christmas Eve, a much more significant time as people made the last rush before the holiday. Others would hold parties with friends on the Eve as Christmas Day was typically a family affair. This was, in fact, the custom observed by Konungur Bones, ruler of IGNOLand, and his group of friends.

However, truth be told…Bones' friends were uncertain as to their plans for the holiday eve this year. This was because Bones had spent the past week shut away in his castle, turning away any and all visitors - including his closest advisers. They had naturally begun to worry about his well-being…and though they dare not speak it aloud, they all knew the reason behind his gloomy behavior.

That's why they also knew today would be the worst of all.

December 23rd, one year ago. Once again Bones and his companions were wrapped up in a plot by the evil Krampus to destroy Christmas once and for all. Going for a pre-emptive strike, Krampus had enlisted the help of an old friend of his - Linda, Queen of the Pixies - to trap the would-be heroes inside an enchanted snowglobe, wherein they lived the same day over and over again. It was a plot to distract them and get them out of the way, allowing Krampus to do his work on the outside world without interference. Linda's job was not only to maintain the magic keeping the IGNOites inside the globe, but to provide 'a welcoming environment that would make them want to stay'. By taking on the role of the local innkeeper's kind-hearted daughter, she welcomed the companions night after repeated night with food and drink, warmth and laughter.

However…she played her part perhaps a little too well. Though it had only been part of the act to keep the leader of those meddling interlopers complacent, Linda worked her charms on Bones…and bit by bit, it seemed as though he had fallen for her. Even when her evil plot was revealed, Bones could not bring himself to treat her like an enemy. As a result, he spared not only her life…but that of Krampus, as Linda had begged him to.

His friends were, to say the least, doubtful…after all, Linda had proven herself a skilled actress during their repetitions inside the snowglobe. It certainly wouldn't be very difficult for her to have faked those tears to play on Bones' weakness, and surely Krampus would only be back to his old dirty tricks the following year. Though they all believed sparing Linda was a mistake, they could not defy the wishes of their leader…and their friend.

As time went by, Bones' friends gradually forgot about their ordeal and returned to their ordinary lives…but Bones was different. Perhaps his heart really had been ensnared by the Pixie Queen's charms, but during that time…Bones felt more alive than he had in a very long time. Spending those repeating days in a village that reminded him so much of his youth in the Nordlands, Bones found reprieve from his lofty responsibilities as Konungur of IGNOLand. Maybe there was a part of him that grew tired of life as one of the 'chosen' - a demigod who had seized power quickly and skillfully, as though conquering the whole of IGNOLand was his divine right. Since the days he had roamed the seas with a pirate crew as a young man, even prior to arriving on the shores of IGNOLand, subjugating others had been in Bones' blood. It was only natural that he would eventually aim for a life atop the chain of command, forcing all others to bow down before his iron fist fluffy hugs. Such was the destiny of those ordained by the gods.

And yet, this past year…Bones felt himself longing more and more for a life of simplicity. He recalled his days as a boy, back in his homeland…truly, compared to the more chaotic cultures of IGNOLand, the Nords were a simple people. They made simple livings, working the fields or the lumber mills…enjoyed simple pleasures, gathering in the local mead halls to drink, feast, and dance…even romance was simpler there, where one could court a neighbor from the village they'd lived in all their life, and often marry their first loves and create a family of their own.

Bones found that sort of simple life exceedingly boring - his divine blood called him toward adventure, and thus he set out to sea just as he could scarcely be called an adult. The roving life of a pirate was exciting, as ever-changing as the winds beneath the ship's sails. The years he spent adventuring across IGNOLand were no different - the sheer variety of climates and cultures of the land were a stark contrast to the Nordlands, where it was nothing but snow as far as the eye could see, and every village felt the same as the last. This was the life Bones' divine blood had craved!!

How many years had passed since then…? Bones could hardly recall. The mates he had once sailed with in his younger days were already old men, but Bones had not aged a day. Though he outwardly appeared to be no older than his mid-20's, Bones had already lived enough years to be considered an old man. And though he would likely never reach the age of such extra-mortal races of IGNOLand as the elves, or the fae, as he was still human in flesh and blood…Bones would no doubt continue to live for very long time. Was this truly the lifestyle he wanted to maintain for such a long period?

Sure, IGNOLand was a big place, and his empire could always continue to expand, but recently Bones had begun to feel as though he had already reached the pinnacle. Though there were many territories that resisted his rule, Bones was without a doubt the most powerful man in IGNOLand - that much, at least, was recognized by all. None dared to openly oppose him - even his greatest foes, The Neutral Nation, chose the path of least resistance rather than direct conflict. No one ever tried to overthrow him, and as his court was composed almost entirely of dim-witted leprechauns there wasn't even the threat of an inside rebellion. Bones had realized it already. Though he spent all these years fleeing from a life of static mediocrity, life at the top had already become…boring.

Those twelve days spent inside Linda's snowglobe, on the other hand…though they were nothing but an endlessly repeating loop of the same events, they were anything but boring. What was ironic was the fact that Linda's 'perfect Christmas village' was very like the Nordlands. Bones had to wonder if it had even been modeled after his own memories, the representation was so accurate. It may have been just a means to placate him and keep him and his friends from discovering the true plot, and at first, that made Bones angry - his own nostalgia had been used against him, and he fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

It wasn't until some time had passed that Bones realized the real reason he had been angry was the realization that he'd sort of secretly longed for that kind of simple life. Being in that village with Linda was a reminder of the very things he had tried so hard to escape from, but now felt his Nord blood longing for. If his divine nature drove him towards adventure, then perhaps it was his humanity calling him back home. Bones didn't like the internal conflict that brought him…but the more time had passed since their misadventure inside the snowglobe, the less he felt that he could fight it.

And at the root of those feelings…was Linda. Bones knew that the Linda he spent his time with inside the globe was just an act, and he knew next to nothing about who the woman really was, but…he wanted to know. And if there was just the slightest grain of truth to her performance, then he'd hoped that…no. Perhaps it was better not to say.

But though he did his best to keep those secret feelings in his heart, those close to him could sense his turmoil. That's why they knew that this day would be the worst of all for him, and decided to give him his space. In fact, SG2 had already begun whispering of a contingency plan should their annual holiday festivities with Bones fall through - sadly, this year the IGNOites may be spending their holiday eating peach-mango pizza and guzzling cheese soda delivered to their hangout spot at the newly-rebranded Discord (formerly IRC) Studios.

“Yeah, I'll call you if anything changes, but probably. …yes, I've already gone ahead and Tru-proofed the studio. And thoroughly disinfected the place…can't be too sure, after last time. …yeah, I'll let him know. Thanks. Talk to you later.”

SG2 let out a deep sigh as she hung up the phone with LG. She had been calling her fellow IGNOites one by one to inform them of the alternative plans, since it seemed increasingly more likely that he wouldn't be feeling too up to hosting any festivities this year. Christmas together with their friends on the 24th had become a tradition in the group, and though it was sad that they may have to leave Bones out of this one, they didn't want to abandon their get-together entirely, either.

“Alright, that's LG done…”, the tiger mused, looking over a list of names. “Let's see…LG, xL, Bradios, Karma, Reese, Iris…right, he told me to let Azaran know next. Ugh, that guy…not sure why LG even likes including him on these things, he's always antisocial and rude, and he can never go anywhere without bringing Ten along…but I told him I'd let him know, so…”

Just as SG2 pulled her ScanPhone™ out of the pocket of her SG2Tiger suit, it began to ring. She'd assumed it was just one of the people she'd already called, checking in to confirm some minor detail, and sighed again - turns out that being the host was a lot more work than she'd anticipated, and it was already becoming tiring. When she glanced at the name on the screen, however, her face went blank with shock…

“H…hello…?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SG2 wasn't surprised to see Karma and Reese waiting at the front gate of Castle Bones when she arrived. After all, if he had summoned her, there was little doubt in the tiger's mind that he had also called for his other two most trusted advisers. Despite ruling their own nations in IGNOLand, both Karma and Reese had long been close friends to Bones, and he held their leadership experience in high regard. As their three nations were all adjacent and held a firm alliance, there was nothing at all unusual about them occasionally seeking council from one of their fellow rulers. As for SG2, she held the position of Bones' Treasurer (for reasons unknown to all, as it was no secret that SG2 was terrible at managing money) and often acted as his private law enforcer in IGNO City, since Bones himself could not always keep a close eye on its local happenings from Knochenstadt. These three could be considered as Bones' 'Inner Circle', privy to both his national and personal secrets - that's the degree to which they held his trust.

And if he was summoning them, and only them, on a night so close to Christmas, in spite of his self-imposed lockdown…they knew it could only mean one thing. They nodded to one another as the Doorman Leprechaun lead them to the Konungur's chambers. It was decided that none would say a word until Bones had spoken first…they didn't want to risk accidentally setting him off with painful memories. And so, they stood silently in the doorway for what felt like an eternity, watching Bones' back as he stared out the window overlooking his nation…

“It's been…a long year.”

That was all he had said before the room was once more enveloped in an oppressive silence. The three in the doorway shuffled awkwardly, anxious to get the show on the road but none too willing to ignite the king's temper. Finally, SG2 moved to make herself comfortable on the sofa at the edge of the room, with Reese and Karma soon following suite and finding their own places to wait. It would probably take Bones some time to compose his thoughts, and given the circumstances they decided to honor this by not interrupting them. The Service Leprechaun brought them some hot cocoa - careful not to let Karma's version with a blood syrup mixed in go to the wrong person. They sipped on it while they sat there, watching the snow drift leisurely from the large ornate windows.

“You three are not the first visitors I've taken today”, he said finally, his back still towards his guests. “Earlier this morning, as though it were a sign…I received word from the Pixie Kingdom.”

The three advisers looked at each other in shock. SG2 made to stand and ask a follow up question, but Reese tapped her on the shoulder, silently instructing her to let Bones speak at his own pace. The tiger looked reluctant, but understood Reese's message.

“Ordinarily, I'd turn away a messenger who did not properly send word of their visit in advance. But as a ruler myself, it would have been quite rude of me to close my doors before a lone queen, in the midst of this snowfall.”

What Bones was saying was that Linda, Queen of the Pixies…had come to his castle to call upon him in person. This was unheard of for several reasons. For one thing, royal dignity…a proper ruler would never show up in the flesh, they would send an envoy. Especially when they were visiting the kingdom of another ruler, and unannounced, to boot…normally, one would send a messenger requesting an audience with Konungur Bones of Knochenstadt, and Bones would send a response of either acceptance or refusal. If an audience was urgent, the two royals would likely schedule a meeting, and would certainly not go unaccompanied by some kind of entourage - along with several guards, if the meeting were in the nation of an enemy. And a royal certainly wouldn't travel in inclement weather…especially not if they were coming from such a long distance as the Wayward Woods. Given the size of a pixie, that distance had to have been at least double, if not triple that of human perceptions…just what could have been so important that Linda would have done such a thing, alone, after what she had done to them the previous year? SG2 and the others could only listen on in stunned silence, unable to comprehend Bones' story.

“It would seem…”, Bones continued, finally turning from the window to face the others, “…that Christmas is once again in danger.”

“Well, that's obvious”, SG2 blurted out casually. Since Bones was now addressing them face-to-face, she decided it was okay to speak now and adopted a more casual tone…though Reese and Karma seemed less than enthused. “This happens every year, doesn't it? No surprise there. And she's in on it with him, you know. Probably a trap.”

“That wasn't the surprising part”, Bones said sternly, his glare enough to make the tiger fall back on her butt on the sofa. “I agree that a trap is likely. I'm not so naive as to blindly believe in someone who betrayed me once before.” As he said this, Bones scratched at his bare shoulder…though the scar was no longer visible, that wound would take a long time to heal. “But her story had a ring of truth to it…even if the intention is to lure us into a trap, I have reason to believe it may not have been a complete lie.”

“What…was her story, exactly…?”, Reese asked, a bit more careful to test the waters than his tiger friend. Bones took a deep breath and paused, as though trying to find the right words to respond.

“…before I say, I'd like to confirm something for myself. And I need you three in order to do that…that's why I've called you here.”

“You mean, like, a recon mission?”, said Karma, cracking her neck in boredom.

“Something like that, yes. I'd like the three of you to head to the North Pole…there's something I want to confirm about Santa's Workshop.”

“Santa's Workshop…?” SG2 asked, cocking her head in confusion. “You don't think Krampus is planning another attack, do you?”

“…I can't tell you my reasons until I know for sure. You are to tell no one else that you're going, and absolutely do NOT let yourselves be spotted. Contact me when you get there for further instruction. And…”, he paused once more, looking to the three in turn with serious eyes. “Bring disguises.”

Disguises…? That was unexpected. The IGNOites weren't exactly the stealthiest bunch…their typical tactic was to simply split into teams and charge the enemy base brazenly. And it's not like the Krampus wouldn't be expecting them, anyway - just as they could always count on him to get up to some sinister plot at Christmas time, surely he, too, was ready for them to show up and crash his plans. What good is stealth when someone is expecting you to show up? But if that was Bones' request, he surely had a reason.

“…alright, I trust that you'll explain yourself later, so I won't question you, but…what kind of disguises, exactly?”, asked SG2.

“Do whatever you can to make yourselves unrecognizable. Something that, if someone who knew you saw, they wouldn't be able to tell it was you at a glance. Be as thorough as possible. In other words, SG2…don't just throw on that stupid hoodie of yours.”

“I…w-what are you talking about?”

“That sweatshirt you're always wearing that looks like you. It's not fooling anyone. If you look like yourself, it's not a disguise.”

“B-but doesn't it just look like I'm naked? You can't tell that I'm wearing a hoodie, right, guys?”

Karma and Reese looked at each other, shrugged, and nodded.

“I mean, I never really saw the point, but I figured it must be comfortable since you wear it a lot.”

“I just didn't want to be rude and ask questions.”

“What? You mean, all this time…?”

“SG2.” Bones broke the light mood in an instant, and everyone quickly returned to attention. “You can do better than that, can't you? Just transform.”

“Wh…!!”

“Transform…?” Karma raised an eyebrow. Though it was true that SG2's hoodie wasn't fooling anyone, it was news to her that her long-time tiger friend had such an ability.

“You can shapeshift into a human form. As long as you don't wear that dumb hood, you wouldn't be recognized. Pretty convenient, since your normal form sticks out like a sore thumb. That should do nicely.”

Bones was completely casual about revealing what SG2 believed to be her most closely-guarded secret…the fact that she could shapeshift into a human form. This was a relatively common ability among Beast Shifters, though most chose their humanoid forms as their natural shapes out of convenience and to help normalize interaction in IGNO City. Because of the fact that SG2 spent almost all of her time in animal form - or perhaps because her animal form looked more like a small plush toy than an actual tiger - it was unlikely that anyone ever realized she was a Beast Shifter. Which wasn't exactly a big deal…but she was oddly proud of the fact that no one knew what the heck she was, and that feeling she gave off as a total enigma made her feel mysterious and powerful. And now Bones had just blurted it out like it was nothing at all…SG2's face became sullen.

“That was supposed to be a secret, you know…”, she muttered.

“Wait, so it's true?!”, said Reese, struck with surprise. “And here I thought I was the only one in our group who could do that.”

With a flurry of fast-paced hand gestures, Reese extended the middle and forefingers of both hands. Then, as he touched his fingertips to the base of the fingers on his other hand, there was a puff of smoke…and suddenly, in Reese's place stood an attractive woman with familiar red hair and fox ears.

“Oh yeah…I sorta forgot you could do that, too”, said Karma.

“I don't do it very often around you guys for the sake of familiarity. It's comfortable sometimes, though. I might do it more often.”

“I don't see a problem with it…though, for the sake of disguises, it might be better if you were to hide the ears.”, said Bones.

“Ah, right. Takes a bit more concentration, but can do.” As he said that, the ears vanished in a puff of smoke. “Now it's your turn, SG2.”

“Guess I'm not talking my way out of this one, huh…fine.” She sighed as she stood up off the comfortable couch, stretching her small body. Then, after leaning back and inhaling deeply, there was a flash of light…

Suddenly, in SG2's place stood a tall young man with orange hair. He wore the same hood that SG2 had been wearing, but since Bones had already said that wouldn't be effective, he flipped it down, causing one particularly stubborn cowlick to stand up. The man sighed and glowered at Bones, spreading his arms out as though to say, 'there, are you happy?'

“Heh. I knew that kid looked familiar.” Bones grinned mysteriously, though the others were a bit confused as to what he might be referencing. “Yeah, that'll work nicely. Just don't put on that stupid ho–”

“I GET IT ALREADY, GEEZ!!”

“Well, as for Karma…”, Bones asked, sizing up the vampire Kaiser. “You have a matching helmet to go with that armor?”

“I do. I don't usually wear it because I have to tie my hair up, but I'd be willing to do that.”

“Mhm. I think that'd be fine. And maybe…you got any Color Change magic?”

“I do. What do you think, white and gold?”

“Yeah. Regal, but also blends in with the snow. I like it.”

“Done.” And just like that, Karma's armor had changed to the new color scheme. “I'll have to stop by the castle to pick up my helmet, though. Unlike you two, my disguise is a bit less convenient to carry around with me. …speaking of which, is there any particular reason you guys swap genders when you transform?”

“Personal preference”“Easier to draw”

“…what was that last one?”

“Uh, personal preference.”

“How are you going to disguise yourself?”, Reese asked Bones. “Your Bone Armor is just as recognizable as your human form.”

“I won't be coming with you. In the event that this is a trap…I can't afford to leave Knochenstadt unprotected. Worry not for your own nations, however. I've already sent my most elite special ops leprechauns to wait at your bases as lookouts. If they detect any suspicious activity, they will shoot to kill and report back to me immediately. I wouldn't send my most trusted companions away without having at least that much of a precaution in place.”

“It's doubtful that they'd target Blood Country or Reese's Roost directly anyway”, said Karma, scratching her chin. “They wouldn't be able to sustain an all-out war against three angry nations. Their targets are us as individuals…especially Bones.”

“Are you sure…you'll be safe here alone, My Liege…?” SG2 asked in a worried tone. Bones smiled.

“Heh. It's not like you to worry about my safety. I get it. After what happened last time, you're unsure about my sense of judgment. You have every right to be. But please, trust me. I won't make the same mistake again. That's why…” Bones trailed off, turning back towards the window. “…that's why I need you to go confirm this for me. I need to know if she was telling the truth.”

“…”

The IGNOites had already said they wouldn't press Bones for further details, so they simply nodded in response. Bones could see this through the reflection on the glass, but never again turned to face them - most likely he didn't want to betray the emotions in his heart by showing the complicated mix of expressions on his face. Though they couldn't see it, his friends understood that.

“Alright. We're stopping at Blood Country to get Karma's helmet…then off to the North Pole we go. Well, at least I won't have to worry about getting buried up to my neck in snow…”, SG2 said, patting his head and gesturing to his new stature. “Alright then…shall we?”

A journey to the North Pole…long, treacherous, but after so many Christmas misadventures it was not at all an unfamiliar one. Though the reasons behind Bones' strange request remained unknown to them, they knew it surely had something to do with Krampus and his usual fiendish holiday plans.

SG2 glanced at the clock - it was just after 10 PM. By the time they got to the Ice Plains, it would already be Christmas Eve…the time at which Christmas Power began to reach its peak. Once again, they would no doubt be in for a fight, but Bones said to tell no one else - could the three of them really handle the situation by themselves, if it came to that? All they could do was steel their resolves and trust in their Konungur…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, so…we're going to Blood Country first?”, asked SG2, walking with hands in pockets.

“Actually…I forgot I have a few Contact Scrolls on me. I can call Algernon and tell him to send Fluffyfang to find us and to bring my helmet with him. It'll also get us to the North Pole a lot quicker than on foot.”

“Works for me”, said Reese, adjusting the large black bow tying her long red hair in place. “I think I'll place a call to my golems as well, so they know not to make any sudden movements in and out of the tower so long as that leprechaun sniper is standing watch.”

Reese fingered the small blue bauble at the end of her necklace, which quickly lit up with magic and opened a communication channel. Karma had already unfurled one of her scrolls, which filled with words of instruction without the need for a pen. Once they were through contacting their second-in-commands, the trio made tracks towards IGNO City.

According to Karma, it would be easier to Fluffyfang to detect their heat signatures if they were on the move, and a warbat flying at top speed would be more than fast enough to catch up to them before long. It was already quite dark…light from the street lamps reflected off the surface of the Knochenstadt canals, causing the gently falling snow to glow like firefly light. Though the circumstances could have been better, SG2 at least thought it was a beautiful near-Christmas ni–

“Hey, watch it!!”

All of a sudden, an angry woman with her arms full of boxes crashed headlong into SG2 and the others. It was no wonder…with so many presents stacked in front of her face, there was no way she could see where she was going. And yet, she was yelling at them to watch where they were going?

“Augh, look what you've done!!”, she barked, bending over to hastily scoop up the fallen boxes. “You've gone and made me waste precious seconds cleaning up your mess!! The stores close at midnight, y'know!! Damn kids!!”

“I wasn't…”

But SG2 could scarcely reply before the woman had already flown past them and down the street, no doubt about to crash into the next unfortunate enough to cross her path. And she wasn't the only one - as they made their way across the border between Knochenstadt and IGNO City, they began to notice it. Even though it was already such a late hour, the streets were bustling as though it were midday. Huge lines stretched from door to door of every shop, and it was almost impossible to tell which store people were waiting in line to get into in the first place - they had all melded together at some point. People's arms were overloaded with shopping bags which shook and spilled as they body-checked their way past other people aggressively…even violently. Sure, there was only one shopping day left until the gifts had to be under the tree, but…this certainly didn't look like the Christmas spirit.

“Was it…this bad last year?”, SG2 wondered aloud. “Peach Out is in a fairly busy shopping district, too, but I don't remember seeing people get this crazy during the last few days before Christmas…”

“Now that you mention it…I feel like things were a bit rowdier than usual in Blood Country, as well. Christmas isn't even our biggest holiday, but everyone did seem anxious to get to the stores before things could sell out. I remember walking by Blood Bath and Beyond on my way back to the castle and thinking it seemed busier than usual.”

“I've gotten a lot more customers at Black Books this season, too. We're usually a fairly quiet store aimed at the more scholarly types, and some people even like to pull up a chair and study the magical compendiums before buying. Of course, the text magically fades after so many trial pages before I authorize the purchase, so I have no problem with that…point is, it's usually quiet enough to concentrate, but it was pretty busy the last few weeks, now that I think about it.”

It was certainly an interesting story. All of them had noticed that this Christmas seemed a lot busier than any they had remembered before. People rushing in any out of stores, pushing aside anyone in their way…yelling at sales clerks, who could only do so much to service that many customers…and buying gifts in a much higher volume than normal. But could people honestly have that many people to buy for? No one person could possibly use so many gifts. It was almost as though they were being compelled to spend as much as possible on whatever pointless commodities they could get their hands on, because they might be sold out the next day and not get another chance. That's the impression SG2 got, but…something about that thought was very uncomfortable.

“H-hey, now…it's probably just a coincidence, right? I mean, tomorrow is the last shopping day, after all. Maybe it's always busy like this and we just never notice it because we're always busy fighting that stupid…you know, that one guy…I think he's green? Can't place his name, though…”

“I mean, yeah, that might explain tonight, but what about Black Books being so busy this week? Or Karma's nation? Like she said, they're normally not even all that big on Christmas…”

“Look, you guys. If we continue down that line of thought…don't you think we're cutting it dangerously close to what happened last year? Complaining about how 'commercialized' Christmas is, and wanting the 'perfect' quintessential holiday? I don't think I need to remind you guys of what that was like.”

Reese and Karma fell silent at SG2's words. Truly, 'complaining about the over-commercialization of Christmas' did feel a bit like a rehashed plot. And yet, they couldn't shake the feeling that there was some meaning hidden behind it…after all, to dwell so much on those details, it certainly had to mean something, right?

“…for now, let's just focus on getting to the North Pole and figuring out what Bones wants us to do next.”

The group continued to walk through the city, zag-zagging around the masses of people to avoid any further hit-and-run incidents. Eventually SG2 suggested they take to the back alleys as a 'shortcut' - it was technically a longer way around, but without the time spent having to dodge people like frogs in some kind of old video game, they'd actually make better time this way.

It wasn't long before they reached the outskirts of IGNO City, and the stretch of barren landscape that lead to the treacherous Ice Plains. No matter how many times they'd made the journey to the North Pole, the Ice Plains were always dangerous to those who ventured into them unprepared. Blizzards raged almost perpetually, and visibility was already extremely limited at this hour. Reese had conjured a fireball in her hand to act as a light source, but one misstep and a foot could get caught in a snow ditch, making them easy prey for the many deadly beasts that called these lands home. Not to mention the long stretches of ice…frozen lakes that could shatter underfoot and cause you to plunge into waters so cold you'd catch your death before you could drown, or deceitful snow-covered ice cliffs ready to crumble beneath you, letting you plunge hundreds of feet into the craggy canyons that dotted the landscape. There was a reason only the hardiest of peoples made their home in the Ice Plains - it was a place of death without equal in all of IGNOLand.

And yet, the threesome trudged on through the heavy snow with nothing but Reese's flickering flames to guide them.

“Ugh…my legs…so tired…” SG2 plodded behind the other two at a particularly slow pace, complaining the entire time.

“Seriously, SG2? I thought you said you'd be fine as long as you were tall enough to keep your head above the snow.”

“I thought I'd be fine, too!! But I forgot how much I hate walking!! Normally I'd just hitch an easy ride on Reese's shoulders or something…”

“Fine…”, Reese sighed. “Turn back to normal and I'll let you ride me. …that sounds a lot dirtier when I say it in female form.”

“Wish I could”, said SG2, paying no mind to the innuendo, “but unfortunately my transformation comes with rules attached.”

“Rules?”

“Yeah, like, for one thing, there's a time limit. …well, it might not be time, so much as how long my body can sustain it, so it varies a bit…but I usually can't get more than a few hours out of it before I exhaust myself and turn back to normal.”

“Tch…if that were the case, you should have waited to transform until we got to the Ice Plains!!” Karma clicked her tongue, annoyed at how short-sighted her friend could be sometimes.

“Reese was pressuring me to transform back at the castle!! It slipped my mind, okay?!”

“You said 'for one thing'. Are there other rules, as well?” Reese asked, ignoring their senseless bickering.

“Once I turn back, I can't transform again right away. I need to recover my energy for a while first. Usually a quick nap is enough, but there's not always time to do that…in those situations, it might take a few hours to half a day before I can do it again.”

“Half a day?!”

“We'll just have to pick up the pace, then, and get this mission done before your time is up. Karma, wasn't your bat supposed to–”

No sooner had Reese said that than a chittering cry rang out in the skies above them. She held up her flame, but it was still so pitch black…if not for the fact that the huge shape was blotting out the stars, it may have been impossible to see at all. As the figure drew closer, spiraling through the air, they could make out the bright crimson membranes of its wings…and the glimmer of metal shone under Reese's light. Was that…armor?

“Here, Fluff!! Good boy!!”

The bat let out what they could only presume was a chitter of glee as it danced through the sky before landing, its sharp claws raking so deep into the snow that it kicked up dirt and blades of dead grass. Karma reached into a satchel at her hip and grabbed a handful of what appeared to be…blood-engorged ticks? They were huge, about the size of a golf ball…and very, very swollen. She tossed them into the bat's open mouth, its razor teeth wet and glistening with what SG2 hoped was just saliva. Reese and SG2 watched with a mixture of nervousness and relief as it preened happily while Karma stroked its large ears. It certainly seemed tame…and large enough to carry the three of them to their destination easily.

“Ride's here!!” Karma said this as she climbed up onto the massive beast's back in one fluid motion. It was clear that she had a lot of experience. “Just use the stirrups to get a foothold and pull yourselves up. You can grab onto his claw hooks if you need a better grip. Oh, but be careful, because they're very sharp.”

“Claw…hooks?” SG2 swallowed hard at the sight of the massive metallic spikes attached to the bat's claws. Like the rest of the bat's armor, they shone under the moonlight and did not look like something the tiger wanted to grab onto.

It took a bit of effort, but eventually the two managed to pull themselves up alongside Karma and were comfortably seated in Fluffyfang's saddles. As they fiddled with the safety harness, Karma fished around inside the saddlebag and pulled out her helmet. With a wave of her finger it, too, was color changed to white and gold…and after tying her long braid into an up-do, she placed the helmet on her head. Their disguises were now complete.

“Make sure you hold on tight”, said Karma, her now voice low and metallic. “He can handle three passengers, but it's more than he's used to so he'll probably fly pretty steady…that doesn't mean you should relax, though. Wouldn't want to fall, y'know?”

It was then that SG2 remembered that he was not at all fond of heights. But before he could argue about the exercise benefits of trudging through the snow on foot, Karma had already cracked the reigns…and Fluffyfang took off like a dart through the star-studded midnight sky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the terrified SG2, the trip felt like it took hours. Hanging on for dear life, trying desperately not to look down at the ground so very far below (fortunately, the thick darkness helped that somewhat, but brought fears of its own)…every second that passed before they reached their destination felt like a struggle just to breathe.

Reese, on the other hand, was having the time of her life. Though initially a bit intimidated by the massive creature, once it became clear that the bat was well under Karma's control, Reese became fascinated. SG2 shot the oblivious Reese an icy glare as she gleefully pet the bat's rough skin through a gap in his armor, not even worried about the fact that she gripped her harness with only one hand. It was hard to hear through the sound of rushing wind, but it sounded to SG2 like Reese even said she wanted to give him some of those tick-treats when they touched down.

Eventually, Fluffyfang began to descend. It seemed they had made it from their Point A to Point B…trading one cold and desolate stretch of ice for another. According to Karma, warbats could detect the heat signatures - technically, the warm blood - of living things. The fact that this was their means of detecting prey wasn't terribly encouraging, but since there weren't a lot of large communities in the Ice Plains it also proved to be a very handy compass. The fact that they had landed here meant that Fluffyfang had detected a large number of living creatures gathered in the area…though it could have been an isolated village, there was a good chance a workshop full of Santa's elves fit that description fairly well.

“…it doesn't work on anything without a heat signature, of course, which is why they make great companions for the undead…they don't see us as prey or want to eat us.” Karma continued her explanation as the trio hopped off their living carriage. “At any rate, I've had him land us a reasonable distance away from the heat source he was detecting, since our goal here is stealth. We're gonna have to go the rest of the way in that direction on foot.”

Karma reached into Fluffyfang's saddlebag and pulled out…a bottle? It looked like an ordinary bottle, perhaps with some kind of potion inside. Or…was it moving? It appeared to be some sort of swirling black mass of shadow. Karma gestured for the other two to step back as she concentrated for a moment before uncorking the vial, and…

“W-what the HELL is that thing?!?!?!”

In Karma's hand, where the bottle was just a moment ago, was some kind of HUGE bug. Was it a spider? No, it couldn't be, Karma hated spiders, and her armor was even magically enchanted to kill them on contact. Whatever it was, it was the size of a small dog, and black as the night surrounding them.

“This is a Shadow Scorpion. They're a little rare, and only come out at night in the swampier parts of Blood Country. Their shadow-venom is an excellent reagent for alchemy and spellcrafting, but more importantly…”

She held the scorpion tightly, but raised and away from her face, much to the creature's dismay as is pincers…snapped…wait, was that thing still alive?! But Karma was undead and shadow-aligned herself, so its venom wouldn't hurt her…probably. Still, it didn't look like it'd be a fun time to get on the business end of those claws, so she held it with no small amount of caution as she carried it over to Fluffyfang's eager mouth.

The bat was like an excited dog, wagging its wings in anticipation for its treat. That's right…this giant scorpion thing was a treat for a job well done. There was certainly nothing weird about a master rewarding her steed for its hard work…but as he stood back and watched Karma - and now REESE - reward the happily-chittering bat by helping it scarf down a nightmarish armored bug with its horrific pointed teeth of doom, it was all SG2 could do not to retch.

“Good boy. Wait here for us, alright? You can fly around and hunt if you want, just don't go too far. Be ready if I call for you again.”

Fluffyfang let out what SG2 could only assume was the warbat equivalent of a purr as Karma pet his armored head.

“Fascinating…you said those scorpions are also used as magical reagents?” Reese was as excited as a kid in a toy store.

“Well, mostly their venom. It's a bit tricky to extract if you don't know what you're doing, but we have a lot of skilled apothecaries in Blood Country who you can pay to do the job for you, which makes it a lot more convenient.”

“That's really interesting. I've never dabbled too much in shadow-based magics before, but I'd love to be able to get my hands on some of that and do some experiments of my own. Would you be willing?”

“Well…it's a little more complicated than that. Since the scorpions are a bit rare and hard to hunt, they're a bit of a hot commodity. You'd be welcome to come into Blood Country and buy some, but even then the laws on transporting it out of the country are a bit stiff because it's extremely dangerous to the living. Many of my citizens are immune, so it's not a big deal, but we don't generally like letting some of the more dangerous items like that leave the territory because of the widespread damage they could cause in IGNOLand. It's not that I don't trust you, of course, but if I made exceptions for you I'd have to make them for everybody…”

“Oh, I certainly didn't mean for free. What say we make a trade? Some shadow scorpion venom in exchange for my nation's plam tree extract. It's also a very rare ingredient with powerful magical applications. For one thing, they're fireproof, which is why they're the only trees that can survive in the Roost…I'm sure that'd be very beneficial to your kind.”

“Oh, absolutely!! And if we did that, it would be seen as a political trade between two allied countries, so–”

“OH CAN WE JUST GET ON WITH THE MISSION ALREADY?!”

SG2 was fed up with standing here in the cold listening to these two magical nerds ramble on about the benefits of their rare ingredients or whatever. Typical mages!! They could discuss that stuff when they got back home…right now, they had a job to do. Though SG2 didn't have a watch to check, it had to be at least midnight by now. That would officially make it December 24th - the ideal time for any anti-Christmas plots to begin. They needed to stay focused, and ironically, for once the role of taskmaster had fallen onto SG2.

“You're right…sorry. It's easy to get a little carried away discussing these things with a fellow mage.”

“Yeah, my bad.”

“At any rate…you said Fluffyfang sensed a large amount of people in that direction, Karma? Reese, cut the lights for a sec.”

When Reese put out her flame, the three were once again enveloped in total darkness. Not even Karma's keen vampire vision could make out very much in this blackness, further blurred by the falling snow…but there, in the distance, they could all see what SG2 was referring to. It was faint, but there was a soft light coming from the general location that Fluffyfang had pointed to.

The average people of an ordinary village would no doubt be fast asleep in their beds by now, but Santa's Workshop had no time to waste with only one more day until Christmas. They would naturally be up all night long, the elves busily making toys while Santa Claus himself prepped for the long journey to deliver joy to all the children of IGNOLand. So that light in the distance…yes, there could be no doubt. They'd come to the right place.

Reese once again ignited a small ball of fire atop her fingertip - just enough so that they could see their footsteps in the darkness as they drew ever closer to the workshop. Before long, the toymaker's factory came fully into view under the light of the lamps posted around the complex. This was close enough - though they still weren't entirely sure of Bones' reasons yet, they were given strict instructions to not be spotted. Taking refuge behind a convenient glacier jutting from the ice a little more than twenty feet from the workshop, the trio huddled around SG2 as she pulled out her cell phone and placed the call back to Bones.

“Yo, it's SG2. We're here. …what, really? Okay, fine, we'll figure something out. …no, it looks perfectly normal. I mean, it's dark, but…huh? Really? Why? …alright. I trust you. …Uh-huh. One hour? Okay. Yeah, should be fine. Talk to you then.”

“Well…” SG2 took a deep breath of the cold winter air. “He wants us to take a look around the place. Again he stressed that we make sure we're not spotted…and he wants us to call him back again in one hour. Oh, and uh, he says it's dangerous for us to be calling each other by our real names in case someone might be listening? So we're supposed to come up with code names…”

“Code names? Why on earth…”

“And he still won't explain why we're doing this?”

“Not yet, no…he said it's too dangerous right now, but he swore he'd come clean about everything later. It's definitely weird, but…well, he's never steered us wrong before, so I trust him. How hard can it be anyway, right? We're just gonna do a little snooping…”

“…around Santa Claus' heavily-guarded workshop, on Christmas Eve.”

“Right. And we need code names…ugh, I'm really bad at coming up with names.”

“Let's see…” Karma held her chin between her thumb and forefinger. Maybe she thought the gesture would help convey the image that she was deep in thought, even through that heavy helmet. “Well…there's always The Ancient Tongue.”

“The…Ancient Tongue?” SG2 asked, a bit confused.

“Yeah, the old language spoken in IGNOLand long ago. That's where we get words like Konungur, and Kaiser. Aside from words with widespread and established meanings like those, very few nowadays understand the Ancient Tongue, with the exception of some of the more studious wizards and scholars. I'm not sure who exactly has Bones so paranoid might be watching us, but there's probably a good chance the Ancient Tongue would be unfamiliar to them. Thoughts?”

“I think it's a good idea.” Reese nodded, somewhat familiar with the language herself. “You think we should just come up with a flashy codename, and translate it over?”

“That'd work, yeah. Let's see…I'll go by todesritter - that means 'Death Knight'. You, Reese?”

“Hmm…I already have a codename - The Black Fenix - but a literal translation may be a bit too obvious. So what about…feuervogel - or Firebird? Obscures it a bit better, but still feels fitting.”

“Sounds good to me, Feuervogel. That just leaves you, SG…er, you. What's your favorite codename? Of course, I'll translate for you.”

SG2 had to stop and think for a moment. Codename…nickname…something different from one's normal name, but still fitting and self-identifiable. The names they came up with sure were fancy, and SG2 wasn't sure how to even pronounce them…nnngh, this is hard. What about just keeping it simple? After all…death knight and firebird were pretty simple names at their core, and only took on that big fancy-sounding word in that Ancient Tongue, right? And this still felt familiar enough to be comfortable. Yeah. This one's perfect. Will probably sound really cool in that old language, too.

“What about…Tiger?”

“Just…Tiger?”

“Yeah. It's simple, but so were yours, right?”

“No, it's not that, it's just…er…”

“If I'm not mistaken, the word 'tiger', in the Ancient Tongue, is 'tiger'.”

“…”

A loud gust of wintry wind blew by at that exact moment. If this were a comic, that might signify the brief silence before the 'punchline', where the reader absorbs the joke and takes the cue to laugh.

“I…it's fine, isn't it?!” SG2's face turned red, though it was probably hard to tell in this darkness. He didn't want to lose face by coming up with a new name, and did his best to hide his disappointment in its lack of cool translation. “It's still different enough from my usual name that it should work. I don't see why we even need codenames in the first place, probably just Bones being paranoid. Let's just go with Tiger.”

“Alright, Tiger it is. So, Tiger, Feuervogel…ready? Follow my lead.”

“W…why are you the leader?! If anyone leads, it should be me!! I'm practically Bones' second-in-command!!”

“You really wanna lead us all in circles and get us lost?”

“…”

“Thought so. Now stop complaining and c'mon.”

Karma thought she heard SG2 mutter something quietly, but only smiled and ignored it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“All clear over here, Todesritter.”

“Roger. Nothing suspicious here either, Feuervogel. How about you, Tiger?”

“Everything seems fine on my end too, uh…Toad Strider.”

The three had split up and started snooping about the grounds outside the Workshop. Despite the quaint-sounding name, Santa's 'workshop' was actually a rather large complex divided into several different sections. There was the factory where toys were made, the warehouse where unsorted toys were stored, and of course the energy plant that delivered power to the various systems to keep the operation running smoothly…there was also a separate wing a slight distance from the business-oriented portion where Santa Claus and his wife lived in a mansion of no small size. It was not the first time SG2 and the others had been to the North Pole, of course, but perhaps you could say it was the first time they'd really paid this much attention to it. It was definitely a far cry from the humble image often depicted in seasonal media.

Not only would splitting up make the search go quicker, but it would also make them less likely to be spotted. The stray movement of one person might be mistaken for a wild animal running by, but explaining three humanoid shapes hunched low and walking together would have been much more difficult. In order to keep in contact Karma had given SG2 and Reese small shards that would transmit their voices to someone who held another shard…they were convenient, but no good at covering long-distance communication like her Communication Scrolls. However, they were easy to carry and conceal and for close-ranges did the job well enough.

They split to carry out individual searches of the warehouse, plant, and mansion grounds…but without Bones giving them anything concrete to keep an eye out for, they had no idea what they were even searching for. They decided then that they'd regroup and come up with a plan to search the factory, the largest section of the complex - and also the most heavily-guarded. What with the annual Krampus attacks and all, it was no wonder that Santa left nothing up to chance to ensure he would not be disturbed on his most important day of the year…and on any other occasion, the IGNOites would probably have been able to waltz right in by virtue of their 'street cred' for saving Christmas so many times in the past. But Bones had his own reasons for telling them to stay hidden, and they'd even come here with disguises and codenames. It felt a bit…wrong, being the Heroes of Christmas, skulking around Santa's workshop like thieves…

“Alright…we're going to have to sneak into the factory next, but there's no way all three of us would be able to get away with that.” Karma spoke in a low voice, barely audible to the human ear - but the shard in her fingertips transmitted her vocal vibrations to her comrades crystal-clear. “Since I have the power of Shadow on my side, I'm the best candidate for getting in unseen. Which means I need you two to stand watch outside and make sure no one follows me…and warn me immediately if someone does. Copy?”

“Mhm. Understood, Todesritter.”

“You got it, Toasterizer.”

“…Right. Well, okay. Here I go.”

Karma closed her eyes and focused on the surrounding darkness. She had to visualize herself melting into that darkness, becoming one with shadow itself…this was her Shadowstep technique, a staple ability that all shadow users were capable of. Of course, while it was easy to learn in principle, it was far from trivial to master - breaking that bond with shadow and losing one's concentration was no better than wearing a sign that said 'here I am'. Naturally this was complete suicide during critical stealth missions, a sad fact that many new shadow users had to learn the hard way.

Karma wasn't an expert at the technique, herself - as a ruler, she was a highly visible figure in her country, and proud of it. She simply didn't often have the need to practice this particular skill, and focused her studies instead on other magical discipline and general martial arts such as knifesmanship. Still, she was no slouch, either - and as a trained mage, her ability to maintain concentration was second to none. As long as she kept her focus, nothing could possibly go wrong.

While Karma focused on sneaking inside the factory, it was SG2 and Reese's job to be ready on the outside to warn her if anyone came her way…or, in the worst case, to distract their attention. Realistically, none of them could afford to be caught, but if the two on the outside were spotted, at least, they could run away and hide with the darkness and blizzard as their cover. Karma didn't have that option - she was heading right into the heart of the brightly-lit factory, surrounded by witnesses. If her cover were broken, she wouldn't get away with just making a run for it. And so, it was decided that SG2 and Reese would take the fall for her if the worst came to pass…

As they stood lookout in their respective hiding places, an elf patrol pulled up to unload a new shipment. That was fine…a shipment would be brought to the warehouse until it was time for Santa to sort the desired gifts into his magic bag's storage dimension. They shouldn't need to go into the factory. Even better, it looked like some of the factory workers at the gate were coming out to come help unload. It must have been something big or fragile to require that many hands.

As the bed of the truck was lowered, SG2 and Reese tried to make out the shapes through the flurry, .but where they expected to see boxes, there were instead…bags? They were smaller than Santa's famous toy sack, but larger than a grocery bag. The elves moved to carry each bag in teams of two. Though the elves were small, their strength was nothing to sneeze at, as carrying large shipments of toys from the factory to the warehouse was one of their duties. For them to need to carry those bags in pairs, it could only mean that whatever was inside must have been heavy.

“Nn, stupid human ears…I thought maybe we'd get some clues if we could overhear their chatting, but I can't make out what they're saying at all.” SG2…no, Tiger, scratched his head in annoyance. “It would help if those stupid sleigh bells would stop jingling. Wait, sleigh bells? Isn't this a truck? They didn't trick it out with sleigh bells to try and be more 'Santa'-like, did they? That's so cheesy.”

“No…” Reese's fox ears twitched atop her head as she listened closely. Bones had told her to keep those hidden, but they were simply too useful at a time like this to ignore. “That's not the sound of sleigh bells. The jingling is coming from whatever is inside the bags they're carrying.”

“Heavy sacks that jingle? That's…no, it couldn't be, right? But I can't think of anything else that fits that description…”

“Whatever they are, it looks like they're taking them inside the warehouse. We'll have to wait until they're finished unloading them to go get a closer look.”

“But…what about Karma?” Tiger asked nervously, looking between the factory and the truck. “We're supposed to be keeping an eye out for danger…”

“I know, but…” Reese bit her lower lip as a conflicted expression rose to her face. “This could be a huge lead. I know she told us to keep watch, but…well, I also trust her skill. She's not the type to get caught so easily. On the other hand, we might not have another chance to get inside the warehouse. I was only able to check the outside area when we split up earlier because there was a heavy padlock on the door…before they close it up again, we need to see what's in those bags.”

The two watched in silence for several minutes more as the elves worked to efficiently carry the rest of the bags to the warehouse. There had to have been more than a dozen of them…or perhaps as many as twenty. Sacks larger than a bag of groceries. Heavy enough that the elves had to carry them in pairs. A jingling sound as they were being moved. Reese didn't like to rule out alternative possibilities, but there was very little room for doubt at this point. Could this be what Bones wanted them to check out? Were the elves perhaps involved in some sort of underground smuggling operation, behind Santa's back? Whatever was going on, it was definitely fishy. Karma could handle herself…Reese had to believe in that. They simply couldn't let this opportunity pass them by…

Before the last of the bags were loaded off the truck, Tiger and Reese snuffled through the snowy brush towards the warehouse as stealthily as possible. The padlock was still hanging on the side of the door…even if they got inside before the door was shut, they might be locked inside. But Reese had already considered that possibility - touching her fingertips together like a cartoon ninja, she vanished in a puff of smoke and headed to the door. A moment later she was back by Tiger's side, ducking behind a blind spot on the side of the warehouse building.

“Wait…what exactly did you do? And if you can disappear like that, why didn't you go in the factory instead of Karma?”

“I can only disappear for a few moments. It's not nearly as useful as you'd think.” Reese reached into the deep sleeve of her kimono, pulling out the padlock and showing it to her companion. “Just long enough to grab this, though.”

“Won't they notice that's missing when they go to lock the door behind them?”

“Nah…already took care of that.” Reese tossed Tiger an immodest wink…it was easy to forget that this was the same Reese he'd always known. Then again, Reese could have said the very same about him. “Now come on. We need to get inside before they finish loading up the bags and close the door.”

The elves had stepped away from the warehouse door back to the truck, and the two saw this as their window of opportunity to sneak in. However…

“Hey, you two!!” Tiger and Reese froze in their tracks - had they been spotted?! “Why aren't you guarding the entrance?”

An elf captain was shouting at two of the lower-ranked elves dressed in ordinary elf-like elf clothes. At least it seemed that Tiger and Reese hadn't been noticed yet.

“We didn't think it was necessary just going between the warehouse and the truck–”

“Our orders are to make sure that building is secure at all times!! Until we're finished loading the bags inside and can lock it back up, you're supposed to be standing guard!!”

“Nn…fine, fine. The boss has gotten awfully strict about this stuff since last year.” The elf guard grumbled as he and his partner returned to the door. Tiger and Reese quickly ducked back behind the brush to avoid being spotted.

“Can't be helped, ever since Krampus attacked the place directly last year.”

And just like that, their only chance of entry had been denied.

“Now what?” Tiger asked in a low whisper. “Lock or no, it looks like we won't be getting in through the front door now…”

“Hmm…” Reese put a finger to her chin and thought for a moment. “I might have a backup plan. Follow me.”

The two circled around back behind the warehouse, careful to keep their footsteps as silent as possible. Finally, they reached a blindspot behind the building…and Reese pointed at the lower wall.

“I thought we'd be able to get in through the front door, so I didn't pay it too much mind, but…think this might work?”

Reese had been the one to search around the warehouse earlier, so it was no surprise that she had already found a backup route for them to sneak inside. Still…to have memorized the layout after just one search was impressive. As it turned out, there was a loose plank near the back of the building - perhaps Santa was too busy preparing for the Christmas flight to worry about maintenance. It wasn't very big, though…

“How do you expect us to get in there? I don't think we'd be able to get away with snapping that thick board off without being noticed.”

“We don't have to touch the board at all. Or have you forgotten? Your favorite trick, that is.” Reese gestured in the air.

“What…swimming? But it's the middle of winter. I don't see how that's gonna help us–”

“No, you idiot, digging!! You can dig underneath and widen the gap, then slip inside.”

“Oh…digging? I never even thought about doing that in human form…” Tiger rubbed the back of his head. “I guess I can still do it…the ground's gonna be pretty hard from the cold, though. I probably won't be able to make it very big.”

“Even if only you can get in there, that's enough. Just get inside and check the bags, then come back out. I trust her, but I don't feel good leaving Karma alone for too long, either.”

Alright…keep yourself hidden, then. I'll see what I can find."

Tiger took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles…certainly, his ability to dig tunnels shouldn't be any different just because he wasn't in tiger form. SG2 didn't really have claws in the first place…or did she? The details were pretty inconsistent. Either way, like the Shadowstep Karma had performed earlier, SG2's digging ability was a natural skill of earth users…surely Tiger would be able to do it, too.

He crouched low on the ground, shuddering from the cold of the snow…not having to get a face full of the stuff was supposed to be one of the benefits of human form, dammit. And then, as though making a snow angel, Tiger began to dig. Just as he'd said, the ground was cold and hard, but it gradually softened beneath the practiced fingertips of an earth user. Barely two minutes later, the hole was just deep enough that Tiger could shimmy underneath the broken board…and slip inside the warehouse undetected.

“Alright, let's see…” Tiger stood and brushed the dust off his sweatshirt. The door had already been closed, and the elves long gone. There was no one else inside the dark warehouse anymore. “Guess I'd better start looking.”

Tiger snapped his fingers and sparked a small flame - just enough to have some visibility, without running the risk of the whole wooden shack and all the goods inside it burning to cinders. From what he could tell, it was a fairly typical warehouse…just a temporary storage area for all the toys before Santa could sort them into his bag. Compared to some of the other facilities in the workshop complex, this was very old-fashioned - little more than a storage shed someone might have in their back yard, albeit a fairly large one. There were shelves lined with boxes, crates stacked up on the floor…but where were the bags? There were a good amount of them, and only so many places to put them, yet for some reason they were nowhere to be found.

“Hm? What's this?” Tiger drew his flame closer to what seemed to be a small enclave in the wall, just big enough to fit a fist. Of course, he did the only logical thing to do to such a hole, and jammed his fist inside of it. “Huh?!”

There was a loud buzzing noise. Tiger jumped in panic, and before he knew it he was falling forward…directly into the path of the secret revolving door. After a sharp moment of confusion he was dumped onto the other side where he landed on his butt with a thud.

“Ow…a secret door? Really?” Tiger rubbed his butt in pain and rose to his feet. “Well this…isn't suspicious, or anything…”

Contrary to the plain and simple wooden shack he was just in, Tiger now stood inside a brightly-lit room of reinforced metal. It was like the sort of walk-in safes you'd find at a bank…or the treasure vault of Castle Bones, which SG2 was quite familiar with. Yeah…it was exactly like that. Right down to the huge fat sacks of kok piled high along the walls of one side of the room. On the other side were several rows and columns of shelves stuffed to the brim with important-looking paperwork.

Tiger began rifling through the sheets, barely able to comprehend the complex legal terms printed across the pages, front and back. In stark contrast to these professional-looking documents were ones that were much simpler to understand…hand-written notes with letters scrawled by rough hands. The terms on these were a lot easier for Tiger to read - words like 'bribe', 'cash', 'goods', and 'underground'. “These ones are on the house.” “Pleasure doing business.” “Tell the missus to keep those cookies coming and it's a deal.” These ones were a lot more personal, and painted the picture of a much darker side to Santa's business…

Tiger was scarcely able to stuff a few incriminating notes into his pockets before his ears were overwhelmed by a deafening sound. Alarms. Of course…when that door opened up, there was a loud buzzing sound…anyone would know that someone had snuck inside the warehouse after the elves had 'locked' it. So much for stealth…Tiger desperately searched the room for a way out, but the only exit was the entrance that lead back to the warehouse. Could he make it back out in time? He had to try - there was no point hiding in this place, they'd know to look for him there!! Tiger's sneakers squeaked against the tile floor as he made a dash for the exit, diving back into the warehouse…over to the broken floorboard…and back underneath!! A face full of dirt and snow didn't matter right now, they had to get out, and fast!!

“Ree…ah, F…Fahrvergnugen!!” Tiger spat dirt as he screamed his companion's bastardized codename. No sense in staying quiet anymore, they were already busted!! If at least they could regroup, they could manage to get away - their disguises weren't blown, after all!! “Ah…”

Tiger looked up from the ground, just barely free from the broken board to the warehouse, to see a curly-toed boot, right in front of his face. That boot…kicked. Tiger's face was slammed even harder against the snow, so hard his nose made a crunching sound. This time, he tasted not only dirt, but blood…the boot kicked again and again before grabbing him by the hair and pulling his face up, just enough to be eye-level with a very buff, and very angry elf.

“Well well well. What do we have here? Who might you be, snooping around inside Santa's important warehouse on Christmas Eve?”

“J-just…a holiday hoodlum…” Tiger grinned, and instantly regretted it as that boot once again hit him square in the teeth. “A-ah…”

“Holiday hoodlum, eh? Because we get so many of those out here in the Ice Plains. Just some…punk kids!! Out to…cause trouble!! On Christmas Eve!!” That boot came down on Tiger's back with every emphasized word. “Just you and your hoodlum friends, out for a night of seasonal pranks. Like, say, replacing a very important padlock with a bunch of leaves?”

Leaves…? Is that what she did? Tiger wanted to remember to ask Reese how she'd managed to get a bunch of leaves to convincingly hold a door shut. However, the only thought floating to the top of his mind right now was the hope that transforming back into tiger form could heal broken ribs…Tiger was shocked that a Christmas elf could be this strong!!

“General Sparkle!! We've got another one.”

Another elf came running over. Tiger's head was currently being stepped on, so he couldn't look up to see what was happening…but it sounded like more than one set of footsteps. And then, some kind of strange…chittering? Barking? It sounded like a wild animal fighting for its life. Tiger tried to crane his neck, but that only earned him another stomp.

“When we pulled this necklace off of her, she wound up like this. Fortunately we had the tinsel nets ready.”

“Hah!! That's cute. That explains the leaves.”

“What should we do with this one, sir?”

“Good question…we can't use the warehouse in this condition.” He was probably talking about the broken board. “Tie it up and bring it to the barracks. Me and the boys can take care of this one and join you there. Go call Claus as soon as you're done - he'll want to deal with these ones personally.”

Claus…? So it was true. Whatever was going on here wasn't just some shady dealings happening behind Santa's back. And what was that other thing they were talking about? Something about a necklace, and nets? Aah, it's useless, it's all useless…I can't even process my thoughts anymore…

“As for you…”

The elf lifted Tiger's limp body off the ground, propping him up on his knees. And then, he delivered a punch to the gut so hard that Tiger blacked out.

Good, he thought, as his consciousness began to slip away. At least this way he wouldn't have to endure the pain. Karma, Reese…please…get out of here…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An unfamiliar ceiling. Warm temperature. Unnatural lighting. This was indoors…but where? Blinking a few times, SG2's vision adjusted…mind was still a bit hazy, but…huh. That's odd…I was sure my ribs were…

“Huh…guess they really did heal…”

SG2 looked down…though the first thing to enter the field of vision were the tightly-bound ropes, the next was the orange-and-black-striped fur of her arms. She must have reverted back to tiger form after losing consciousness. Though her bones no longer felt broken, her body still ached all over. That guy was way too much of a brute to be called an elf…glancing to either side of her, SG2 finally noticed that she wasn't alone in this strange room. To one side, a red fox trapped within a small cage. To the other, Karma.

“Wait, Karma?! If you were caught too, then that fox…”

“It's Reese.” Karma answered. “I don't think he…er, she…they? can speak in that form, though…hasn't said a word since they dragged us in here. But I know Reese is aware of the situation. Even tried to cause a scene so I could get away…that's when they threw him in that cage. I think it's enchanted. These ropes are, too…”

Karma wiggled her body back and forth against the ropes…which suddenly began to sparkle. Karma moaned in pain, the light somehow hurting her. Of course, light - were they infused with light magic? Certainly that would have been painful to a shadow user like Karma…SG2 didn't feel anything special about the ropes binding her when she tried to do the same, but her body was so banged up from the abuse earlier that she wouldn't have been able to break them if she tried. Her bones may have healed, but her muscles were still sore all over, and she couldn't summon the energy to spark a tiny flame…let alone enough to ignite her body and burn the ropes.

“Where is this? I know it's not the warehouse, and it doesn't look like the factory, either…”

“No, it's not. Speaking of which, though, mind telling me the reason you and Reese weren't playing lookout like you were supposed to?! I was making fine progress up until this loud alarm buzz rang out…I was so afraid I'd tripped a security system that I lost concentration, and before I knew it the guards were on me. From what I heard them talking about as they dragged me here, though, it sounds like you made that alarm go off.” Karma shot an icy glare at the tiger…their situation wasn't looking good, but her attitude was the same as ever.

“You can blame Reese for that one…” SG2 said, nodding in the direction of the cage. The fox whimpered softly and lowered its head in its paws. “We saw the elves unloading bags of kok into the warehouse, big ones…Reese wanted to get a better look. Said you'd be fine on your own. Which you probably would have been…”

“…if you hadn't tripped the alarm.”

“Well, about that…I pushed this button inside the warehouse and a trap door opened up, leading to some kind of–”

“My secret vault.”

A booming voice rang out as the heavy double door swung open, bringing with it a gust of frigid winter air. Several pairs of heavy boots stomped across the wooden floor. When SG2 and the others looked up, they saw none other than Santa Claus himself, along with four armed elf guards from his elite security force - one of whom SG2 had met already. Of course, there was no reason to be starstruck - SG2 and the others had met Santa many times in the past. However, the look on his face right now…was almost impossible to associate with the jolly smile they had known so well. His face was no longer rosy, but straight-up red with anger as he stared down the captured companions…

“I expected to be attacked tonight. I always do. It's why my security on the 24th is always especially tight.” His voice was low and calm, which was almost more unnerving than if he'd been shouting at them. “No doubt Krampus would be up to yet another of his usual schemes…maybe he'd come himself. Maybe he'd send those clumsy snow golems of his. Or maybe…” He paced the room, arms behind his back, before pausing right in front of SG2. “Maybe he'd hire some holiday hoodlums to do the dirty work for him.”

“Holiday…hoodlums…?” SG2 was surprised to hear those words, which she thought she'd just made up off the top of her head.

“Krampus knows I'm always one step ahead of him, so every year he tries to come up with a new plan that will put him several more ahead of me. It's a very diabolical game of chess we play…as I become wise to his usual tactics, he'll suddenly switch it up at the last second to catch me off guard. Then he'll go back to the usual again, trying to make me complacent. Of course, I've long since grown wise to this tactic, as well. We're always trying to outdo the other in this game…but I've always had one ace in the hole that he's never been able to match.” Santa Claus leaned down, looking SG2 in the eye. His face was so close she could smell the peppermint eggnog on his breath. “You and your friends.”

Santa gestured, and two of the elf generals stepped forward. One held Karma's helmet in his hand. The other, Reese's necklace.

“I have to say, though, I never expected him to stoop this low…he hates you and your group more than anyone. Aside from myself, of course. And I'm even more surprised that you actually took his bait!! So, what did he do to buy you? I figure he can't have much, considering the repair fees for that tower of his that comes down every year…”

“We're not working for Krampus…agh!!” Karma coughed violently as one of the generals kicked her face. Of course, the rest of her body was armored…that was about the only place he could kick to cause her pain. “We're…really not…!! Gah!!!”

Santa gestured to the general…'that's enough for now'. That's probably what he meant…the general stepped back from Karma, an annoyed look on his face for being made to stop.

“Well, whatever. It doesn't matter why you chose to side with him - only that you did. Because you chose wrong. All these years, I've rewarded you well for your services, have I not? You always get what you've most wanted under the tree, no matter how expensive or difficult to acquire it may be. Was that not enough? Perhaps you wanted praise, or recognition, for your efforts? Oh, no no no no no…that simply wouldn't do. Because you see, Santa gets the praise. Santa gets the recognition. All the love, all the songs, all the TV specials…they're all about me. What do you think would happen if word got out that someone else was stealing that spotlight with their holiday heroics every year? That wouldn't be good for Santa at all. I thought you could be made to understand that, as long as those presents found their way under your tree, but…”

“Believe what you want…but we're not so easily bribed as those companies you're dealing with!!”

The general from before - Sparkle, SG2 thought she'd heard - stepped forward with a positively sadistic look on his face…but Santa held an arm out to block his path, instructing him to hold back as well. It seemed that he brought these generals here primarily for backup, in case they'd attempted to escape. Thinking on it, SG2 realized that though they'd been tied (and caged), they hadn't even been gagged and were able to speak freely before Santa had shown up. At the very least, it didn't look like his goal was to torture them…for now.

“You read them, I see. And here I was hoping we could end this peacefully, and let you off with a warning…”

Santa clapped his hands, and within seconds the four generals had drawn their weapons. SG2, Reese, Karma and…well, the fourth general was sort of just awkwardly rotating between them…were suddenly facing down the barrels of candy cane rifles. Well, so much for him not planning to hurt them. But SG2 wasn't deterred in the least - she just kept smiling.

“Looks like those files were pretty important, after all. It's too bad I dropped them when I tried to escape. Must have been some pretty bad secrets in there, I bet you'd really have hated for those to get out…”

“Hah!! Oh, very clever. You're trying to bait me into revealing my master plan to you, since I'm going to kill you anyway. The whole time you'll be working on some kind of covert escape plan, and while I'm distracted, you'll make a run for it. You certainly know your movie plots, HOOOO ho ho!!” Santa's belly shook like a bowl full of jelly as he laughed in the face of SG2's feeble attempt at prying information from him. “I'm not so foolish as to fall for such a trick. And even if I were, I have here four highly trained generals from the Elven Army's Winter Warhouse. I've also enchanted your bonds so you can't easily break free. That rope of yours, for example? Fireproof, woven from magical reindeer hair and the tough fibers of the incombustible plam tree. You won't be burning through those.”

Reese growled at the mention of the plam tree…that's right, didn't Reese say something about that earlier? He and Karma were talking about a political trade of their nation's rarest magical ingredients. If it were that big a deal, it couldn't have been an easy thing to get one's hands on…

“Heh…you've thought of everything, haven't you. And here I thought no one had access to the plam tree groves without Reese's direct permission…but I guess a businessman with your kind of connections must have his ways, huh?”

Santa grinned. It was obvious that SG2 was still trying to bait him into explaining what she had found in that warehouse, and just as obvious that Santa saw through this trick clear as day.

“This one's getting a bit uppity for its own good…on your orders, sir.”

“That won't be necessary, General Snowflake.” Santa waved the general off, then took a seat on a nearby stool and crossed his legs. “You're very persistent, aren't you, little tiger? You want that badly to know about my business deals? Fine. I'll tell you. Cliche though it may be, you will die here today - the three of you breaking free on your own and escaping is certifiably impossible, I stake my very reputation on it. So I suppose there's no harm in telling you. It wouldn't be Christmas without Santa's story time, after all.”

The generals continued to hold steady with their rifles trained on SG2 and the others, while Santa took out a pipe and began leisurely puffing on it. Outwardly, he certainly looked just as conceited as the typical overconfident villain about to reveal their evil plans…but SG2 knew he was smarter than that. He'd already seen through so much, and been more than prepared for this attack, even if he wasn't expecting them specifically. He had even prepared enchantments specifically tailored to preventing their escape on such short notice, which means he must have had a supply of goods ready for just such an occasion. She hated to think it, but he was right - there was no way they could escape from here. All they could do to pass the time right now was listen to Santa's story…and hope that Bones would notice that more than an hour had passed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa Claus. This identity was created by my great great…you know what, it's too much of a hassle to trace that far back. Let's just call him my ancestor, Kristof Kringle. Maybe you've heard of him? He's not known as well here in IGNOLand, but I hear he is still recognized and celebrated widely in his home country of the Nordlands. They even interred his body there, though he died right here in IGNOLand. Nowadays, though, few realize that there have been multiple Santa Clauses throughout history. Kristof actually cursed our family line, you see. In order to stop the Krampus from preying on people, he magically bound the beast to himself and dragged him here, to these lifeless wastes of IGNOLand. When he died, that curse passed down to his firstborn child, and to his child after that…onward and onward through the generations.

It was actually my older brother, Cross, who was meant to inherit the position of Santa Claus after my father passed. However, my relationship with Cross was…volatile, to say the least. We were both raised strictly for a future in Christmas. It was the family business, after all - in more ways than one. You see, it wasn't just my father, the previous Santa Claus. My mother was actually one of the toymaking Christmas Elves. They fell in love when my father was still young, before he inherited the position from his father…though it was seen by many as a forbidden love, I hear his father supported it, and they were very happy together.

Of course, this means my brother and I were both half-elves…toymaking was in our blood. But while I wound up looking very nearly human, my mother's blood ran more thickly in my brother Cross. Not quite short enough to be an elf, yet not tall enough for a human. His ears were pointed, but relatively round by elf standards. As a result, he never quite fit in with his other peers - the humans teased him, and the elves shunned him, both viewing him as one of the opposite race. And though he was the eldest child - the one who should have become Santa Claus after my father passed - he absolutely loved making toys, more than anything else.

I, however, could not stand the job. It didn't help that I was also terrible at it. Meanwhile, Cross had a real knack for the work…but he was fated to become the deliverer of the toys, not the one who made them. That job was going to be shoved off on me, whether I liked it or not. Father was always telling me, 'Chris, your brother will be Santa Claus one day. He needs you to stand by his side and support him.' Support him? Why? I had never heard of previous Santas requiring that kind of 'support'. I wanted to be acknowledged for myself, but Father always seemed to see me as an accessory to Cross. I wanted him to praise me for a change. I tried all kinds of things to impress him…did you know I'm actually quite skilled as a painter? I taught myself to play guitar, as well. I was quite proud of that. But Father had no interest in those things. All he wanted from me was to make toys…and even when I put my best effort into the job, they always turned out terrible. I was such a disappointment to Father…it's a pretty classic story, isn't it? Well, it may be cliche…but this was my life. And I'd had enough of it. I wanted to make Father proud of me, even if it was for something I hated doing.

So I stole one of Cross' toy designs and presented it to Father as my own. How many centuries ago was it…? I can still remember the smile on his face that day. He was so proud of me. 'You finally did it, Chris', he said. 'I knew you had that toymaker's spirit deep down, you just needed to find it!!' I spent the whole day beaming, if not longer. For the first time, I knew what it was to be praised…it was such a great feeling!! And yet…I hated myself. I had stolen the design from Cross. It wasn't my own. Cross never said anything…he knew, of course. But in spite of his stature, he was always 'the bigger man' compared to me…a truly model older brother. He never said a word of it. Not to me, not to Father. Time went by as usual, and we carried on as normal. I continued to build the toy design I had stolen from Cross, and Father was happy. Before we knew it, Christmas time had come.

We had a party that year. Father always loved holding Christmas parties. He'd have all his gifts finished ahead of time, and his sleigh prepped and ready to go by early December. Believe it or not, Christmas time was the one time of the year Father actually relaxed…he was always saying that he wanted us to appreciate what all the year's work was for, and to pass the season peacefully. You could think of December - aside from that one night - as my father's vacation, the only one he would take all year. Anyway…I'll never forget that party, no matter how long I've lived. Father was bragging about me to all of his friends that night. Talking about how innovative my toy design had been, and how many children were going to love it. I had long since gotten over my guilt towards Cross by then…he'd never said a word about my theft, and I'd pushed it down deep inside myself until I'd gone numb. Of course…I'd gone numb to the praise by then, too. Hearing Father talk about the toy design no longer made my feel anything.

Until I heard him say those words.

He had been chatting excitedly with a business associate…of course, while Santa Claus' primary job was to deliver toys himself, those were not the only gifts children would open on Christmas. Parents and relatives needed to prepare presents, as well…and so our toys were often sold to small stores to add to their stock. Back then wasn't like it is today - toy stores were generally small, family-owned businesses, and Father dealt with all of his partners on a personal level. There was nothing corporate, no going through middle men. And of course, Father never accepted any of the money as profit. He was…too good for that. In any case, they had been chatting happily for some time when I happened to walk over, and Father pulled me in and introduced me.

'This is my son, who I told you about', he said.

'The one who made that toy?'

'Yes, the very same!!'

'Congratulations, boy, you'll go far!!'

'Yes, I'm confident that if he keeps going at this rate, he'll even be as good as Cross one day!!'

I think my heart had died that day.

I had tried so hard to make Father proud, but nothing I ever did was good enough. Out of desperation, I'd stolen a design from Cross and claimed it as my own. Finally, I had been praised, and for a time, this was enough. But as time went by, it began eating away at me more and more, though I'd tried to convince myself to block it away. I could only be praised by emulating Cross. I would never be good enough on my own. As myself. And even when Father had finally acknowledged me for something he'd believed to be my own…even then, I was only compared to Cross. I would be as good as Cross one day…? Cross, that genius toy maker, who would become Santa Claus, while I labored away in a factory working at something I hated, and wasn't even good at…

In that moment, I hated my Father, and I hated Cross. But more than anything else, I hated myself. If only Cross hadn't been born…!! I couldn't stand it. Why was I the younger child? if only I had been born before Cross…no, if only Cross was never born in the first place!! Why did Father love him so much, when he barely even noticed me?! I couldn't stand it anymore - that night, I had made up my mind.

I had to kill Cross.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute…pause.”

Santa looked up from his pipe, noticeably unamused that SG2 had interrupted his story at such an intense part.

“…is there a problem?”

“Well yeah, kinda…a few years back, that time Cross kidnapped you and tried to take over as Santa…we'd found a book explaining part of this story. Except, in the book, it said that you were a genius toymaker, and Cross was the jealous one who tried to kill you. And that's when you awakened your Christmas magic and sealed him away in that weird library dimension. Isn't this story, well…kinda the opposite?”

“Oh yes…that book. Truth be told, I was the one who wrote that.”

“You…wrote it?”

“I did indeed, and planted it as evidence for Krampus to find. I knew he'd probably go to you seeking help, but you'd never side with him under normal circumstances…or, well, I thought so at the time–”

“We're not working for…nngh. So you knew he'd bring us that book…and we'd join forces with him to fight a greater evil…?”

“Precisely. It was the perfect plan to get both Cross and Krampus out of my hair…and you took the bait perfectly!!”

SG2 struggled to bite down her rage, knowing they'd been used…but they still had rifles pointed at them. She couldn't afford to lose herself to anger now…fortunately, Karma sensed this, and skillfully took over the conversation.

“I wasn't actually present for that particular adventure, but I've heard the stories. Wasn't Cross deranged and Hell-bent on stealing your position as Santa Claus? That doesn't sound at all like the Cross you've described in your story so far…”

“Cross had been trapped in that isolated pocket of spacetime for…oh, even I've lost count of how many years it's been. His mind deteriorated beyond recognition. Listening to the world go by around him, writing enough to fill that space with an entire library…is it any wonder he'd gone mad? One of the only glimmers of his old self that remained was his strong desire to take over the job of Santa Claus and reclaim the position I'd stolen from him all those years ago.”

“But I thought he actually wanted to make toy–”

“BACK TO THE STORY.”

What happened next is exactly as you've no doubt surmised. I stole into Cross' bedroom in the night and attempted to take his life. However, he woke up before I could, and tried to fend me off with his latent Christmas Magic. Unfortunately for him, I had already prepared a backup plan - my father's bag. If I couldn't kill Cross, I could at least get rid of him by sealing him inside another dimension. And I succeeded.

Father never knew the truth of what happened to Cross that night. When we woke the next morning, he was simply gone. Mother was devastated. She passed away a few years later…I don't believe she even made it to the succession ceremony where I was officially granted the position of Santa Claus. Once Cross was gone, she was never herself again. Father took it hard, as well - he became much quieter in his later years. His eyes had lost the sparkle they'd once had, and though he still cared deeply about delivering toys to the children, it never again showed on his face. We stopped holding parties. Father began working through December without taking any time off. It only got worse once Mother died…and then, of course, I was subject to the harsh training to become a true and proper Santa Claus. I would never know if it was always this harsh, and Cross simply never let it get him down…or if Father had just become disillusioned with the holiday in the years since losing Cross and Mother. Perhaps the best word for it would be…rigid. He had become…a very rigid man. And then eventually he, too, was gone from this world.

That covers the story of how I became the Santa Claus…I won't go into the whole history I have with the Krampus personally. He's simply not worth my time. No…the part you wanted to know was how I came to become entwined in these various shady business dealings, yes? Well, I've got news for you - this is nothing new. If you really think about it, the signs have been there for a very long time. Yes…compared to Christmas in my father's time, the way we celebrate a modern IGNOLand Christmas is quite different. I no longer see any reason to hide it - I'm entirely responsible for the holiday's shift in tone. And I'm damn proud of it.

Christmas had long been a tradition in my family, stretching all the way back to Kristof Kringle's time. And for thousands of years, it had been steeped in tradition, culture, and family values, most of which had been brought over to IGNOLand by the Nords. What we called Christmas - after Kristof - was heavily based on the 'Wintertide' celebrations of the Nordlands. That's where you get a lot of the traditional trappings from - the family togetherness, the exchanging of gifts, things of that nature. Some other elements, like Christmas trees and candy canes, came after the stories of Kristof and the Krampus spread - but at its core, Christmas was about gathering with loved ones, exchanging gifts, and having a feast. While Kristof was known for giving gifts to the less fortunate to made the pilgrimage to see him, it wasn't until my great grandfather that making toys and delivering them personally became practiced - apparently he saw potential in spreading joy further by circumventing the need for people to make the long and treacherous journey to the Ice Plains. Don't ask me where the elves came in - this was all established well before I was born, and even I don't have all the answers. All I know is that it was my grandfather, and my father after him, who had really refined the toymaking business.

…now, while I say 'business', there was of course no profit involved. Being Santa Claus was a lifelong commitment. Though the curse only bound us in our duty to keep the Krampus under control, it was heritage and tradition that forced the need to deliver toys to children all over IGNOLand. It had become a social obligation…a practice that was not easily abolished by that point. And after what I had done to Cross in order to find myself in this position, there was only so much I could do. My life's work would now revolve around that one important night of the year, and I would have to spend the rest of the year, every year for the rest of my life, preparing for it. And all I would gain from this unbridled generosity was the adoration and love of millions.

That's when it hit me. If I couldn't avoid my fate of becoming Santa Claus…perhaps I could change what it meant to be Santa Claus. Father and mother were both gone. Cross would never return. Any and all authority on what it meant to be 'Christmas' had now fallen onto my shoulders. I had grown up in an environment where I was never acknowledged as myself, but this was my chance - to spin Christmas, Christmas itself, into something all my own. To shape the tired old traditions into something I could be proud to call mine. No longer would I have to steal ideas from someone else to be recognized - this brave new Christmas would be something I could proudly claim to truly be my own.

I would turn Christmas into a proper business.

I skillfully made use of Father's old connections, starting with the very man to whom Father spoke those hurtful words all those years ago. By now, he was an old man himself, having passed the family business to his own child. I made my connections with her, a girl about my age…you may know her as Mrs. Claus. That's right - we hit it off and later married. Of course, it wasn't a marriage based on love, like Father's had been…but purely from a practical business standpoint. The marriage benefited her family, and it benefit me. That was all that mattered back then, nothing like today with all these 'equal rights' flying all over the place…this marriage set me up in an ideal position from which I was able to expand my contacts and form new connections, building my own network of mutually-beneficial relationships.

Like my father had done, I would provide toys to various stores - except in my case, I would keep a cut of the profits for myself. I could then use those profits to finance bigger businesses, and watch my network grow and grow!! And as my fortune increased, I could expand my network further still - even the most stubborn contacts will bend with a little good ol' fashioned bribery.

As the times changed, so did business. Small locally-owned stores became multi-national corporations. No longer did we deal strictly in toys, either - there's only so much business in children!! By expanding to include all manner of goods, from appliances to electronics, to books and music and furniture and just about everything under the sun, we could reach the largest potential audience. Christmas wasn't just for children anymore - everyone wanted in on the action. And who wouldn't? With just a simple letter to the North Pole, they were practically guaranteed the item they desired more than anything underneath their tree come morning, wrapped up in a neat little bow.

But not everyone was content with just receiving…people wanted to give, too. But Santa didn't let that opportunity slip by him, either, ho ho ho no. Buying goods throughout the year, then selling them back for a higher price when the holiday season rolled around…but slapping a 'discount' sticker on it to make it seem cheaper than usual!! People would flock to the stores to buy up whatever they could to stuff their stockings, just to make themselves feel good about giving to their loved ones. It was so easy!!

“And just like that…in no time at all, Christmas had been completely transformed by my vision. And now look around you - commercials encouraging people to buy buy buy fill the airwaves. Wouldn't want to leave your loved ones disappointed, would you? Fortunately for you, there's plenty of time to secure the best gifts for your family, because Christmas shopping season comes earlier and earlier each year!! A little at a time, my empire is ever-expanding!! And all it takes is the occasional under-the-table tie-in deal…kok really makes the world go round, as they say!! Hoooo ho ho ho ho!!”

Santa kept laughing…SG2 felt sick to her stomach. All this time…all this time, they'd busted their asses and risked their lives for the sanctity of the Christmas spirit - the true Christmas spirit - while this guy just sat back in his comfortable mansion, profiting off their hard work…while all the while no one knew the truth. Santa was still seen by the public as a benevolent figure…someone who gave from the kindness of his heart, and got nothing in return. And this…this…!!

“There's just…one thing I don't understand…” Karma said, finally breaking through the sound of his ho-ho-hoing.

“And that is?”

“This shift in Christmas has taken place over the course of hundreds of years. Even Cross was, supposedly, trapped for centuries, and you're the one who trapped him…and yet earlier in your story, you repeatedly called yourself human. And it sounds as though your father died a natural death as well.” Karma glared at Santa, who only grinned in response. “Just…how have you managed to live for so long…?”

“Ho ho ho…I was wondering when you'd ask.” Santa took another long puff on his pipe and blew the smoke straight into Karma's face. “Try to remember what happened when that imbecile Cross managed to get the drop on me and steal Christmas. …oh, that's right…you were absent that year. Very well, perhaps a recap is in order…”

SG2 wanted to groan - more long-winded flashbacks, and this time to stuff she already knew about?! But she couldn't complain - the longer Claus wanted to talk, the longer they ought to let him. All of this was buying precious time for Bones to notice they hadn't called back, after all…!!

My brother, Cross…after I sealed him away in the Christmas Dimension, he spent hundreds of years just rotting away in there, unable to escape. …well, no. Perhaps that's not entirely accurate. First of all, what we call 'The Christmas Dimension' is nothing so specific…it's just an ordinary hole on space-time. You could think of it as another dimensional plane, or perhaps just a void of nothingness that exists just outside of this one. Like a one-way mirror, residents of that void can see into our world, though they can't interact with it directly…however, those of us on this side cannot see into it. As far as the average person is concerned, it doesn't even exist. That is, unless you know how to open up a portal between the two…however, by all rights, this shouldn't be possible. Even the greatest mages of all time have wasted their long lives away studying the secrets of dimensional travel, and none have ever supposedly figured it out. And yet, I have explicit proof that it is, in fact possible.

Of course, I'm no mage…I'm able to make use of the Christmas Magic, sure, but that's not really the same thing as the actual arcane arts. I wouldn't be able to make something like that in my wildest dreams, but fortunately I'd never have to. As you all know, this magic sack of mine isn't the 'bottomless bag of holding' it's usually portrayed as. It's actually a sort of handheld portal into that void. I don't know who created it, or how, but this was one of the magic artifacts my ancestor Kristof Kringle discovered in his travels during his many years as an adventurer. It's been passed down in my family for generations, originally little more than a curiosity, an heirloom…until my great grandfather saw its potential in the delivery of toys. Incidentally, he's also the one who learned how to make reindeer fly with piski dust, though like the elf thing I don't really know the specifics behind that story, so don't ask. Either way, he realized that we could stuff all the presents inside this strange space and never have to worry about unnecessary load on the sleigh, and we've been using it that way ever since - hence the term, 'Christmas Dimension'.

But in reality, it's just…a blank, white world. A void. Nothingness. To tell the truth, even I feel unnerved whenever I'm there. You remember Krampus' plan from last year, yes? To trap me inside this dimension and seal the bag for all eternity, preventing my escape. I will give him credit, because this was the one plan he very nearly could have gotten away with. If he had simply tied the bag tight and thrown it into storage, I may never have found my way back. Once you're in there, you begin to feel this inexplicable sense of disorientation. You can be looking right at the portal from which you entered, but fear that even taking a step away could leave you lost forever. If you knew how unsettling it could be, you'd understand why even someone like Cross would go mad after spending centuries in there.

“But I thought Bradios and the others went to that realm…isn't that where Cross trapped you? I thought I heard that they jumped into a strange glowing book and found themselves in another dimension, and had to fight some guardians, or something…” SG2 asked, her knowledge of the specifics a bit hazy since she was on the other team during the incident.

“Oh no, the place where Cross trapped me was the Realm of the Ancients. Another place entirely, unrelated to Christmas.”

“So…we're not gonna get a whole lengthy backstory on this Realm of the Ancients…?” Karma asked tentatively.

“Nope.”

“Alright, but what about the library under IGNO City? Supposedly that's where Cross was trapped, and there were hints that he may have even written all the books contained there. But ever since he was freed, we've been able to travel freely between that library and the city…”

“I don't know the specifics myself, but realistically that place should have been nothing but endless stretches of void. I have heard of this library, though I've not seen it for myself. I can only assume that my brother built it entirely on his own, expanding it around himself as far as he could, for all that time. That place almost has a will of its own. If he wanted for paper or ink, or even the shelves themselves, I'm sure they were readily supplied to him.”

“…look, we're getting pretty off-topic here, so I'm just going to leave well enough alone on how weird that is.” SG2 said. “But if I understand what you're saying and think back on what happened that time, basically Cross managed to find a portal to escape through after centuries of being trapped there, and tracked down that weird Christmas artifact thing…which he absorbed into himself and grew huge, just like Krampus always seems to do.”

“That's it.” Santa raised his index finger. “That artifact is the key. Yet another one of the many magical items Kristof Kringle had once possessed…although this one had been sealed away. Took me quite a bit of effort to find, too…and I hear there are even more of these magic items, some of them taken back to the Nordlands where they interred his body. Only a few still exist in IGNOLand…and some have been lost even to me.”

“But…what is it exactly…?” Karma had gotten the hang of this game by now, spurring Santa on to tell them more for the sake of buying time. For someone who insisted he was too genre-savvy to divulge his master plan, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

“I know even less about that object than I do about the magic bag. What I do know is that it 'collects' energy from an outside source and stores it. That collected energy builds up and can be absorbed by…well, probably anyone, really. Anyone who knows how to tap into its energy flow. It just happens that I'm the only one who knows where it's hidden now, so only I can do that. And before you ask how that Krampus is able to benefit from it too, think about it on your own for a minute. Krampus and I are bound by my family's curse. As long as that curse links our lifelines, he cannot die, nor can he kill me. I don't know the specifics - obviously he's never killed me, nor I him, so it's not like I have a lot of hands-on experience. But if the reason for the curse is related to our life force, it would stand to reason that he'd absorb a fraction of the power that flows into me. Aggravatingly enough, it seems to be split between us evenly down the middle - 50/50. As long as he's around, even I can't take full advantage of the artifact's power - but that's okay, as I've found my own ways to exploit it.”

“Exploit it?”

“As I said…it collects energy from an outside source, and stores it. I won't go into the specifics, as it's rather complicated and not something you need to know before I kill you, but let's just say that source can be…reprogrammed. And the source I chose to absorb energy from is–”

“Belief.”

For the first time, Santa actually looked shocked. It seemed this was one fact he hadn't expected the IGNOites to pick up on.

"…very good. Yes…what we've dubbed the 'Christmas Artifact', and 'Christmas Magic', is once again not inherently related to Christmas or my family at all. It's just another fancy magic item ol' Kristof once found, and one that has proven quite useful indeed. As you surely know, my father and his father before him refined the image of 'Santa Claus' to where it stuck in the public consciousness. Though fame was never their intention, the concept of 'Santa Claus' became iconic of the holiday…before that, Christmas was little more than IGNOLand's cultural twist on Wintertide.

Now, this image of Santa Claus is synonymous with Christmas itself. There are even people out there who refer to Santa as 'Father Christmas' and other such things. Over time, that image developed into an icon - the jolly fat man with the white beard and red suit who slides down chimneys and delivers toys to children while flying in a sleigh pulled by magic reindeer. As a very symbol of the holiday itself, Santa is beloved by everyone, children and adults alike. They hang ornaments from their trees with my image. They sing songs about me. Cartoons. Movies. Calendars. You can't go anywhere in December without seeing my face plastered all over everything!!"

“And when you realized that the image your father and grandfather unknowingly cultivated had become so widely-known…you saw the potential to market yourself and earn money just by virtue of being Santa Claus. All the while using the power of people's belief in you to fuel your empire…”

“Hooo ho ho ho!! You're not as dumb as you look, little tiger. You've hit the nail on the head.” Santa spread his arms wide. "All of this you see before you is my empire, and I am its king. You see, I realized something. No one ever appreciated me for me. Only when I stole my brother's toy design did I gain appreciation and recognition. I spent so many years lamenting my own lack of originality and innovation…

But then it hit me. Who needs originality? I used the connections my father established to expand my business contacts. I used the image he had cultivated as a holiday icon to spread belief in me. I used the magic artifacts left behind by Kristof to increase my power. I dope up the reindeer with piski dust and they pull my sleigh at record speed - I barely even need to steer!! I've built an elaborate system of corporate deals and underground exchanges to further push the Santa Claus image into the minds of the people, while the elves work year-round buying surplus goods, 'enhancing' them with cheap parts, and selling them back during the Christmas shopping season for twice the cost!! And when they inevitably break down, and people have to run out and buy another one, I see a profit from that too!! Everything I've built is the result of skillful manipulation of someone else's work - Hell, I've even made use of you to keep that idiot Krampus off my back during the one night of the whole year I have to do any actual work!! Originality is meaningless - I barely lift a finger, and the kok rolls in like a Christmas miracle!! HOOOO HO HO HO HO HO!!!"

At this point…SG2 and the others no longer had anything left to say. Even for the sake of buying more time…they were just too disgusted. The IGNOites were long used to spending their Christmases in a less than ideal way, tangling with the literal darker side to the holiday so often, but this was something else entirely. The things Santa Claus himself was owning up to…and proud of, to boot. He was actually…worse than the Krampus. Then it occurred to SG2 that the reason Bones had sent them here in the first place was because Linda had tipped him off. Linda was very close to the Krampus…perhaps this wasn't a trap after all, but a warning. A warning that there are always greater monsters lurking where you'd least expect them…

“Well…I suppose that about wraps up our little story time, don't you think?” Santa finally rose to his feet, kicking the stool he'd been sitting on aside with disinterest. “I've answered all your questions, even cleared up the things you didn't ask. I hope this at least can grant you peace in death. …aw, who am I kidding? I couldn't care less!! Ho ho ho!! Time to die!!”

The generals pointing their rifles all this time must have been for show, to up the tension, because at that moment Santa pulled a gun of his own from a holster at his hip. Compared to the festive arms of his footsoldiers, however…it really was just an ordinary handgun. It further served to highlight the sense of disconnect between the ideal Santa Claus represented…and the man he really was once the facade of magic and holiday cheer was stripped away. Standing over them right now was just an evil man pointing a gun, fully ready to take their lives. And then…he aimed that gun at SG2…and smiled.

“Don't feel bad. I'll give my regards to the rest of your friends later. You'll see them very soon, when their bodies are lying cold beneath your tree.”

“OH HELL NAW. FUCK THE TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!”

At that moment, the wooden door was kicked down…no, that wasn't quite accurate. The wooden door was shattered to pieces by a Flying Centaur Kick. Santa, who had stood with the door to his back, was quickly knocked over as one of the heavy wooden shards slammed into the back of his head. The once-confident elf generals ducked into the corners of the room to avoid the flying debris, their weapons falling to the ground as they frantically covered their heads. Snow and cold air blew into the room, creating a suitably dramatic effect…and when the mist cleared, standing in the path of their doorway to freedom was Atlas.

“Hurry up, we don't have much time!!” Atlas pointed towards Santa's twitching body - he was down, but not out.

“We can't!! He's got us bound by these stupid enchanted ropes…not to mention Reese!!” Karma nodded her head in the direction of the cage. “Believe me, if we could get out of here on our own, we would have done it by now!!”

“Not a problem!!” Another familiar voice rang out and a tall man quickly dismounted his centaur companion. It was Bradios!! “My laser attachment can burn through any kind of rope, enchanted or not!!”

As Brad raced over to where Karma and SG2 sat bound, Atlas drew two guns from the holsters at his front hips. With a practiced flair, he fired off two shots, cleanly breaking the lock to Reese's cage. Within seconds the kitsune was free to race across the room and begin tearing at the clothing of one of the elf generals with his sharp teeth.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I-I DON'T CARE ABOUT GETTING OVERTIME ANYMORE, I'M OUT OF HERE!!!”

The elf crawled frantically across the floor and kicked his way to the exit, making a mad dash half-naked into the snow. The other three quickly followed. But Reese's goal hadn't simply been revenge for being locked up - as he grasped the familiar silver necklace in his teeth, there was a flash of light…and there stood the humanoid Reese, in his familiar male form.

“Phew!! You don't know how many times I wanted to be the one to interrupt Santa's story - you guys got way too many lines!!”

“Uh, speaking of Santa…” SG2 pointed nervously to the pile of rubble just beside them as the man in red slowly struggled to his feet. “We should probably get moving!!”

“Just one…more…second…!! There!!”

Brad's laser had just finished cutting through Karma's ropes, and the two were back on their feet within seconds. Karma made sure to grab her helmet that lay abandoned in the corner first, but the trio and their saviors wasted no time at all leaving the broken barracks behind.

But it wasn't over yet - the guards were already on high alert, and this time they wouldn't bother with live capture - they'd be shooting to kill!! SG2 clambered up Atlas' body and held tight to his back as the centaur ran faster than the wind. Karma had already whistled for Fluffyfang, and with any luck he'd be there in a matter of moments…but even a single moment was a moment too long, as alarms began blaring throughout the complex.

"ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL!! REPORT TO THE FRONT GATE IMMEDIATELY!! DO NOT LET THE INTRUDERS ESCAPE!!"

Santa's voice boomed over the loudspeaker…and then, the floodgates were opened. Elf workers began pouring out of every entrance by the dozen. Though not all of them were armed, it would nonetheless be difficult to break through them all without slowing down - and pausing for even a second could have meant the difference between life and death!!

“You know, there's something about this place that really bugs me…” Atlas mused as he continued to run through the buildings in a zig-zag pattern, desperately trying to avoid the teeming sea of elves. “There is just way too much…WOOD!!”

Bang!! Bang!! Atlas' arms moved as fluidly as his legs, his guns spitting fire at the buildings as they ran past. SG2 had noticed it earlier, when they first broke into the warehouse - despite the various high-tech elements of Santa's well-oiled holiday machine, it had seemed that nearly every building in the complex was made of wood. Perhaps it was because it was an easy to gather material up here in the Ice plains, or perhaps it was simply a holdover from the days when his father was in charge…it almost certainly wasn't just for the sake of old-world charm. The broken board at the warehouse even showed that Santa didn't spend much of his heaping bags of money on maintenance, either - if the rest of these old buildings were as worn down as that, they'd burn easily!!

“FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE!!!”

Screams of terror filled the skies as the elves now panicked, surrounded in every direction by the steadily spreading flames. And with so many of them, there was nowhere to run - with every step, they'd crash into someone else, and the panic would only increase!! The elves may have been efficient workers, but they clearly didn't know how to handle themselves in a crisis like this…and it was doubtful that Santa ever cared enough about workplace safety to have so much as a single fire drill. The workers literally had no idea how to handle this situation…meanwhile, the blaze continued to leap from building to building, consuming the entire workshop in burning fury. It was the Faeland Incident all over again.

“Whoa, good job, Atlas…how did you know a little fire would spread this much chaos?”

“I didn't…I just fucking hate the trees and anything made from them.”

“…”

Well, regardless of his reasons, this fire may have just saved their skins…at least, as long as those skins didn't stick around to burn down with the rest of the place. Fluffyfang had already come and swooped down for Karma and Reese, while Bradios had managed to hop back onto Atlas amidst the confusion. Santa must have been furious…his entire precious 'empire' was in flames, and he had no contingency plan for dealing with a situation of this scale. With no way to properly fight it, the fire would consume his entire workshop, and all his ill-gotten kok and sensitive business documents would no doubt go down with it. Well, all of them, except for…

“There it is - the gate!! Hold on tight, because I'm gunnin' for it - hope you guys like riding bareback!!”

SG2 and Brad groaned as Atlas could never resist the innuendo when people rode on his back. Still, there was no harness or saddle or any safety equipment at all - and a centaur even just approaching top speed was much faster than an ordinary horse. The fire had already spread to the fence surrounding their only exit…while Karma and Reese were safe high up in the sky, this was their last shot to come out of the blaze alive!!

Atlas began to gradually pick up speed…fortunately, the elves had long since cleared the area, so there was nothing standing in his way as he ran down the straight paved path to freedom. All the while, the flames drew closer and closer to the wooden arch that read 'North Pole' mounted just over the exit…and then, it fell. It cracked and splintered under the intense heat and fell to the ground below, only to combust completely!! A huge wall of flame now stood blocking their only way out - but Atlas was undeterred!! He continued to pick up speed, his hooves practically on fire themselves as he tore through the snow-dusted road…and then…he leapt…!!

At that moment, SG2 almost regretted choosing Atlas over Fluffyfang…because at least Fluffyfang knew how to fly. Atlas had picked up so much speed that his jump propelled him high in the air…they had managed to clear the fire and escape the workshop, but they still had to worry about gravity!!

“Whoops…sorry guys, that's never happened before…”

It seemed that even Atlas wasn't quite sure what to do next as they plummeted closer and closer to their imminent doom…however, Bradios didn't seem to be worried at all. He pulled out some sort of strange device from his pocket and began scanning it all over Atlas' body…and then…they seemed to be…slowing down…? They were still falling, but instead of picking up more and more speed as they accelerated towards splattery death, they seemed to be slightly drifting as softly as the snowflakes…until finally, they crashed into a pile of snow, completely unharmed.

Karma and Reese, riding atop Fluffyfang, landed nearby as the trio recovered from their unexpected bit of turbulence.

“Ptoo!! Unbelievable…I show myself in human form for the first time, and I still end up with a face full of the white stuff!!”

“Heh, just like xL on a Saturday…no, on any night!!” Bradios quipped. SG2 shot him a glare.

“That's my joke…”

“Wait, did you say human form?”

“Uh, I mean, good joke, Brad!!”

Atlas had also managed to get back on his feet relatively unharmed, dusting the snow off his body with his hands and tail.

“Whoa…how did you do that, Brad?”

“Oh, this? Quantum Decelerator. I just scanned your body and decreased your speed so you could land safely.”

“That doesn't sound all that realistic…” said SG2, skeptical.

“This is IGNOLand. What does?”

“Fair point.”

“At any rate…” Karma stuffed her helmet back into Fluffyfang's saddlebag and resetting her armor's coloration - there was no need for disguises anymore. “How did you guys even find us? Your rescue timing was awfully convenient for you to just have happened to be in the area…”

Atlas and Bradios looked at each other and chuckled.

“Uh, well,” Brad said with a shrug, “we kinda did just happen to be in the area. Of course, there's more to it than just that.”

“I was actually heading out on my annual Christmas tree burning crusade. It's one of the many duties of a Priest of Flamehoof the Burner, patron deity of the centaurs, may He burn all trees in your path.” Atlas put his hands together and bowed his head briefly in prayer. “I had just left Centaur City via the Sacred Grove Without Trees, which is part of our monastery, and started going about and burning evergreens. It's actually one of our tenets - 'And Lo, did Flamehoof burn the shining pine, and the sun did smile upon his efforts that frosty December morn, and it was Good.' The last two weeks of December are the only times we're allowed to burn pines, and I was chosen for that honor today.”

“I had actually just come down from the Banks to gather some trees myself. The people of the Neutral Nation celebrate Christmas, too, so we usually have a big party where we decorate Christmas trees and stock the fireplace for a nice traditional feel. It's a great way to break up the usually tech-heavy way of life we have up there. We don't usually do it until the 25th, but since we didn't expect to be doing the usual party with you guys and Bones this year I thought it would be a good time to come pick out some good trees and firewood to bring back. That's when I bumped into Atlas…and when I realized he was trying to burn down all the trees I needed to collect, I chased after him…”

“And you just happened to find us trapped in Santa's workshop…?” Reese, now in his male form, wore a skeptical look on his face.

“No way, that'd be way too convenient!!” Brad laughed. “We just happened to be together and in the area when we got Bones' text.”

“Bones'…text?”

“We were surprised, too, since you guys said he wasn't really in the mood for a Christmas party. But what we thought was a notice of the change in plans was actually an emergency alert…”

“He was brief and to the point. Said that you guys went to the North Pole and hadn't reported back to him at the arranged time. Said that everyone who got the message should reply-all back immediately with their location, and that whoever was closest needed to find them ASAP. We figured it probably had something to do with Krampus…but Santa…?”

“When did you realize it was Santa who'd captured us?”

“Well, things started to seem a little fishy as soon as we passed through the North Pole's gate.” Brad sat down on a stone as he continued. “Wouldn't there normally be guards posted all over the place, especially at the gate? But they were nowhere to be found. Only later did we realize they were actually gathered in one place…”

“The barracks.”

“Right. Not just the ones inside, but there were others waiting outside, too, probably as backup in case anything happened. We snuck around and took care of that, though!!” Atlas grinned. “But that wasn't the only reason we were suspicious. As we walked around searching for where you might be, we saw a lot of weird things.”

“Weird things? But we didn't notice anything out of the ordinary when we first searched the complex…” Karma mused.

“Really? What about the reindeer? They were clearly in pain…looked like he was drugging them with something, probably so they could pull the sleigh faster. Their breathing was unnatural, and you could see the fear in their eyes. The dirt in their pen was also all turn up, and bits of the fence were broken off all around, like they'd be stomping around, irritated. You didn't notice?”

“Not at all.”

“Huh. Maybe that's a human thing.”

“I'm a vampire.”

“Eh, same thing. You guys aren't in tune with nature, or whatever.”

Karma thought that was an interesting remark from the guy who had been gleefully running around lighting trees on fire, but decided it was better not to get into it.

“I also used my Z-Ray Scanner to look through the walls of the buildings, to see if we could spot you.” Brad pulled another odd device out of his pocket. “When I looked inside the factory, even just a glance was enough to tell me the conditions were horrible…those larger elves were bossing the smaller ones around, kicking them and demanding they work faster.”

“Actually, with all the chaos I forgot to mention it earlier, but I saw similar things myself.” Karma reminded the others that she had used her Shadowstep to infiltrate the factory. “They weren't just making toys, either. Some were sewing clothes until their fingers bled, others were building machines that in no way looked safe, and there was no moderation at all. They were just told to work as fast as possible and make more and more if they didn't want to disappoint Santa. There was even a laboratory wing where…well, I didn't even want to go inside there. The screams I heard were enough. Probably some kind of cosmetic testing being done on live patients.” Karma shuddered - if it was bad enough to get under even her skin, it must have been disturbing. “I actually figured that was plenty of evidence and was on my way back…when SG2 tripped that alarm, and I lost my focus.”

“I get it, already, you don't need to keep reminding me…” The tiger rubbed the back of her head with a sullen look on her face. “Oh, and before you blame me for setting off the alarm, maybe you should take a look at what I grabbed from the vault before I did.”

SG2 reached into the pocket of the SG2Tiger Suit she was apparently still wearing and pulled out some crumpled paper, handing them off to Karma and Reese, who then shows them to Atlas and Bradios.

“It's mostly just the stuff he already told us about, but…”

“Piski Dust trafficking…says here that stuff is actually highly illegal even in the Wayward Woods because of the detrimental side-effects, ranging from destructive irritability and insomnia to outright brain damage from prolonged usage…”

“And down here there's an warranty request for replacement reindeer. Cites 'inability to handle job requirements' as a reason behind the 'defective goods'. So, what…the original reindeer died from Piski Dust overdose, and Santa's trying to save a few bucks on replacements by cashing in on the warranty? This is disgusting. It's just like Atlas said.”

“The list of his crimes just goes on and on. Three pages on various black market dealings alone!!”

“Mhm. And that's just what I managed to grab. That vault of his had shelves filled to the brim with papers just like these.”

“Actually, SG2…how did you manage to smuggle out those papers? Didn't they search you when they tied you up?”

“Maybe they just assumed she was naked?” Reese chimed in, pointing at the SG2Tiger suit.

“Wait, you mean…IT REALLY DOES WORK?! I KNEW IT!!” SG2 jumped up and down excitedly. “Maybe Bones just got lucky!!”

The others exchanged awkward glances. Sure, they could all see clear as day that she was just wearing a cheap striped hoodie with her face on it, but they decided to let her have her moment.

“At any rate, we should keep moving. Those fires will only stall them for so long - after all this, there's no way Santa's gonna just let us get away easily.” Karma hopped up on Fluffyfang's back, followed by Reese. “You coming, SG2?”

“No thanks…I'm not getting on that giant flying deathtrap again. I feel a lot safer down here on the ground, thanks.” …or so she said, before climbing atop Bradios' shoulders. Funny how the tiger who supposedly hated heights always chose the tallest IGNOite in the vicinity to ride on piggyback-style.

“Well, I was actually going to get on the bat and give Atlas a break, but I guess I'm stuck down here as well.” Brad smiled sheepishly. “Do you mind if I ride you again, Atlas?”

“Nah, it's no problem. Long as you're cool with–”

“”“Riding bareback.”"" Everyone groaned.

“Geez, way to steal my thunder, guys…where are we headed, anyway?”

“Good question…we can't exactly go back to the castle, or anywhere obvious Santa might think to look for us…” Karma pondered it over. “The Ice Plains are huge. He can't possibly search the whole of it, least of all in this weather - not even a magic sleigh and some doped-up reindeer would be enough for that. Maybe we should just keep moving and try to gain as much distance from the North Pole as possible. Oh, and you guys will need to hide your tracks…not much good if he can just follow the hoof-prints in the snow.”

“Not a problem!! I'll spray my portable snow machine behind us to cover over them.” Brad excitedly pulled yet another strange machine from his pocket.

“Where do you keep getting this stuff…?” SG2 asked, dumbfounded.

“¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

“Alright, everybody ready? Try not to lose sight of each other!!”

Karma shouted down from Fluffyfang's back as he began to ascend, and Atlas responded with a thumbs up. There were still a few hours left before dawn - by then, with the increased visibility, they would be easier to find. They needed to get as far away as possible before that time. They just had to keep moving for now…SG2 managed to fire off a quick 'Santa went crazy, we're safe, will talk later' text to Bones before Atlas started galloping at a steady clip…and then, she held onto Brad's shoulders as the fivesome rode together into night.