THE IGNO COURTROOM

SG2: Okay so...apparently we have IGNO Court now. I personally have no idea how court works, but since I'm Admin I call the position of Super Judge, which makes me remain all-powerful even in the faces of the courtroom judges. Karma and Corey have apparently declared themselves judges but since we're under an apparent dual-judge system (perhaps the first ever?), they have to agree on all rulings equally - if they disagree it is the signal for all Hell to break loose and all of the courtoom is permitted to erupt into fiery chaos as decided by the jury whenever the judges don't see eye to eye. This is rule number one of the IGNO Court. Rule number two is that the preceedings should follow standard US courtroom procedures, though Corey will have to forgive that I am instating the IGNO Courtroom Handicap to all of those poor dumb fools less educated on the American legal system like me to follow along. IE, we're dumbing it down a bit. Rule number three is that there are no rules. Except rule number one and two. Don't ignore those. So I guess rule number three is to not ignore rules one and two. ...Or something. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO LET THE IGNO COURTROOM COMMENCE!! Corey, please inform us of the first case.

Lemmy: Spend money on a translator and you will have no lawyer, WAHAHA!! Helpful things to know when in the IGNO Courtroom: [photobucket deleted the pic but it was something in Japanese]

Crisis: For a moment, i thought that my computer came with the japensse lang pack (or, it least i think thats the wonderful langage of japan). But no, its a picture. So if Alex is Head Justice and Corey and Heather are Justices of the Bench, i can be AG (Attorney General)? PLEASE!!!! I WANNA BE THE IGNO LAWYER!!!!!

Corey: hmm, see the problem with that is The Attorney General doesn't usually represent the government in cases, thats the Solicitor General's job, so if u still want it fine but if you want to be Solicitor General insted, thats fine too, but still you have to ask Alex to appoint you and you have to be confirmed by the senate, whoever that is on the IGNO boards...

SG2: Lemmy, that's horrifically gramatically incorrect because clearly you just ran crap through a Japanese translator. I'm assuming this is somehow meant to be for me to give or let Karma drink my blood, but geez, be a little more horrible at Japanese. Don't do things when you suck at life.

Crisis: I may not suck at life, but i fail at it. Thats why all my posts are in wonderful english (more-a-less, at least)

Lemmy: I, Lemmy, am a sexist pig, and I am repenting for my sins.

Karma: DOOD how do you write my name in Japanese?

Corey: this should be the first case

Karma: What, Lemmy's punishment aka spamming all the threads?

SG2: Hm...I lack Japanese text support on this rental laptop, it seems (not surprising; I lack a lot of things on it *wants to watch YouTube videos*)...Okay, let's try this then and do what Lemmy did by doing it up in MS Paint (except I can't copy/paste characters without the support for it): [Link] Bear in mind that this isn't a very good example - I'm not Japanese, so I obviously don't have fluency when it comes to writing the characters in the fluid form they do, when my hand is trained for the blocky Roman alphabet (and all caps, no less, so like, barely any curves). But basically this is Karma in Katakana (the alphabet typically used for foreign words and sound effects whereas Japanese native words will be written in Hiragana script, and obviously, Kanji characters). "Karuma". Not to be confused with kuruma (a car) or Kurama (the good-looking redhead from Yuu Yuu Hakusho), of course, but it's not a difficult name to Japan-ize. Your real name would honestly stump me - Hell, my own did and the only reason I know it is thanks to Major Alex Louis Armstrong in FullMetal Alchemist (I believe it's 'Arekkusu', though the combination of the k sounds, the double-consonent marker, the s sound, etc, it's not as easy as you'd think). But that's essentially Karma in Katakana...which if Lemmy was a non-retard who didn't just run crap through a J/E server would have known to type rather than spelling it in the English letters (which is very rarely done in Japan - though ironically, when you see an article about Gackt, his name is much more often written in the roman alphabet than it is 'Gakuto' ). Aaaaaanyways, yeah, Lemmy...it all depends if I'm satisfied with his repentence or destroying my brain enough to where I'll be willing to explain what it is he did, and why he should be punished.

Crisis: can we send him to prisoin? or is his repentance going to be enough. I saw what Lemmy did to bring down the rather of God, and it was fitting, if a little tame for my liking

SG2: The rather of God? There's still one part left to his repentence, for one. For two, I probably can't spell repentence, but at least I admit that as an honest inability to spell a certain word - unlike some of the Lemmy Typo-ists here where it's just a matter of laziness and n00b 5p34k. And for...for three...that's up for the IGNO Court to decide. I'll let one of the judges get started on this one.

Karma: I'm afraid I can't get started on judging without understanding the nature of the situation. In other words, WTF did he do? Also cool, my name in Japanese!

SG2: Part of his punishment is telling you that himself...if you don't sign on tonight or he ends up missing you or something he'll do it in e-mail. Mostly because the whole thing I found very uncomfortable and Dammit, I'm not repeating it here. Freaking Lemmy.

Reese: I can manage the IGNO Law firm of Crane, West, and Phillips.

SG2: ...I wasn't aware we had an IGNO law form of Crane, West and Phillips. But you can totally, totally manage it. And Other Alex can be whatever he wanted to be by the way, the other conversation distracted me

Reese: We do now! lol

Lemmy: Have we actually hit a case yet and asked the hard questions, like in Law & Order, or has this basically been a character-driven affair with some low-key humor and the occasional sexual reference like in Boston Legal?

Crisis: Woot! Executions start at noon. After i lope off your head, it's time for you to plead your case! I have the order mixed up again, don't i?

Karma: I dunno, but as for my ruling on Lemmy's 'repentence' situation, I say he goes free. After hearing the situation from him, it really didn't sound all that bad. But his community service is feeding me a pint or two of blood 'cause I'm hungry!

Lemmy: *offers wrist*

Karma: *sinks teeth in and enjoys a meal*

Lemmy: I was going to offer you a straw, but this way I get that dizzy feeling of partially-lost consciousness that's like sleeping while awake . .

SG2: A-heh, yeah Mostly as I'm sure he told you (I know I made him e-mail you) it's just the obvious matter of choosing the very wrong subject matter to joke about with me, and then the direct disobedience of my orders to STOP...I'm over it now, though, so it's a dead case I guess. Anything else on the table?

Aibou: OBJECTION! <,<; *flee*

SG2: I've never even played the game but I've seen so many threads on the subject on 4chan I have to ask... Was that a Phoenix Wright referrence?

Karma: that's exactly what I thought! I really do need to play this game now just to see what it's like

SG2: There's that and that Elite Beat Agents or whatever game I hear about constantly that sound really weird, but are apparently really good to the point where the people I'd normally expect to make fun of games with such concepts are going crazy over them.

SG2: I TOTALLY FOUND US A CASE look at this and the post under it I AM HEREBY SUING OTHER ALEX FOR HIS LAZINESS RESULTING IN MY MAKING A DOUBLE POST AND ZOMG LOOK HE DID IT AGAIN IT'S ANOTHER DOUBLE POST SOMEBODY STOP THIS KID HE'S HURTING MY FEELINGS Are there any incredibly smart and capable IGNO lawyers who can save me from this travesty of the legal system?

Karma: *waits for lawyers to make their case so she can judge* Hum~de~dum...

Aibou: oo... *stab* Court is adjourned. >,>;

SG2: AIBOU IS THE BEST FREAKING LAWYER *EVER*.

Crisis: *is wondering how stabbing a mech yeilds results* here, lets try this... *torches SG* thats my counter suit

Karma: Apparently this court presides by violent street law.

Crisis: is that an issue? in some places (most places) mmy counter suit is called self defence. I can't torch Aibou, because she's being paid to do it, so i torched her boss... *blasts Aibou's knife with plasma cannon* and now we're set.

SG2: BECAUSE AIBOU HAS MAGICAL POWERS Man, whoever that SG person is, I totally feel bad for them. Good thing SG2 over here is totally safe and protected by an impregnable fortress of stupid typos. AWESOME VIOLENT STREET LAW WOOT Doesn't really work like that. First off, how do you know Aibou was being paid for anything? I don't recall there being any proof that Aibou was even hired - and if she was, certainly no proof of by who. So in the eyes of the court, you torched an innocent person - innocent until proven guilty, afterall. I really wanna know who this SG person is, though.

Karma: I hereby sentence Crisis, alias Other Alex, to ten posts of self-humilating Hell for the senseless and violent murder of the innocent bystander SG. Start posting.

SG2: Okay so here's the deal. We were discussing that Other Alex, being the Attorney General of the IGNO Courtroom, at least deserves a fair trial before recieving his Repentance assignment. So...now he has to prosecute...himself. ... ...Special permissions to double-post granted this time around. Well, get going.

Aibou: XDXD FULL. OF. WIN.

Karma:

Crisis: Wait... No one's pressing charges... How can there be a court case if there is no one pressing charges?

Karma: Because I was witness to the murder. And as a judge I am bound to uphold morals, doncha know.

Crisis: we have morals?

Karma: IGNO style morals!

Crisis: So that means we have no problems with commiting random cases of what the mecha transpired.

SG2: IGNO morals don't permit criminals for blaming their mechs for their crimes. That'd be like getting in a carwreck and saying NO I DIDN'T KILL THAT GIRL THE *CAR* DID IT I'M INNOCENT!! Che.

Crisis: It was a malfunction. I may hardwire myself into the damn thing, but it doesn't always do what its supposed to. It has a nasty problem of firing at things it really ought not to. *wheels up a semi truck load of pixie sticks* i'm off to appeal my case to the head uber judge! *takes pixie sticks to SG2*

Karma: OBJECTION. That's bribery!

SG2: K-Karma gave me twelve bars of chocolate!! CEILING chocolate!! And she made me the official law enforcer of Blood Country!! I won't side with the likes of a criminal like you!! Edit: lol me and Karma posted at the same time so just ignore what I said, bribery is totally not cool, and she totally did not also bribe me

Crisis: *tosses karma a cheese burger* is that a bribe?

Karma: *snatches and munches* No, that was a gift, and I'm not siding with you. And good Blood Country Law Enforcement Officer. That's what I like to hear.

SG2: Does I get more chocolates now?

Karma: Maybe. You need to do your spider work first.

SG2: Already have. I just need to get back home later and set up the printer/scanner software to work on this laptop. ...If that fails I'll redo it in MS Paint for you. Is this acceptable, Your Excellence?

Karma: Most acceptable. *hands her a bag of Lindts, which magically become her favorite flavors*

SG2: YAAAAAAAAY!!!! *eat* Now then, Other Alex, if I were you I'd start defending yourself... Either in the courtroom, or risking your luck against me and my Law Enforcement Powerz.

Crisis: I appoint the firm Crane, West, and Phillips as my consul for defense. In my role as cheif prosecutor for IGNO, i'd like to call the accusing party, SG. *grabs charred remains and puts them into the witness box* Since we lack a bailiff, i guess i'll have to swear the witness in *gets out the holy book of IGNO, and places the charred husk of a hand on it* Do you swear to drop all charges, and be happy in your crispy state, so help you IGNO? *grabs corpses head and makes it nod* well, it seems the prosectution has dropped all charges

SG2: I'm baliff by the way. I just decided this. Can you believe it? Charges not dropped. Case proceeds.

Crisis (prosecuting): *looks at SG2, and shurgs* Anyway, Mr/Mrs/Ms/Whatever-the-hell-the-proper-term-of-adress-is-for-SG SG, what is your realtionship with the accused? *waits for answer, nods, and continues* So, you say that this was a random act of violence that was caused by a complete stranger? *pauses for answer* The prosectuion would like to bring up the accused to the stand!

Crisis (defending): *sets mirrors up on each side of the courtroom, running back and forth* Me?

Crisis (prosecuting): yes you! Do you see anyone else in the "Defendant seat?"

Crisis (defending): Yea, him *gestures vaugly at lawyer*

Crisis (prosecuting): *shoots a death glare at self ( )* The prosecution would like to bring Crisis to the bench!

Crisis (defending): *goes over and sits in witness box* So, who do i see to get signed in?

SG2: Blah blah blah I have sworn you in blah blah... *goes back to spriting*

Crisis (prosecuting): *lets SG2 swear in Crisis* So, where were you when during the time the accuser claims you attacked them?

Crisis (defending): About 15 feet away trying to kill Aibou for her attempted stabbing of me. Which reminds me, i want to file a charge on Aibu for stabbing me!

Crisis (prosecuting): ONE COURT CASE AT A TIME BUCKO! Anyway, after trying to kill aibou and realizing that she'd fled the secne, you were mad weren't you? Mad enough to kill...mad enough to turn that poor *gestures at smoldering body* thing into a match. WHY DID YOU DO IT!

Crisis (defending): *looks over at lawyer, who shakes his head no* i plead the fifth!

Crisis (prosecuting): So, you went and killed poor SG there. Your pleading the fifth, so it must be true! *locks gazes with self ( )* next you'll be claiming that SG there paid Aibou to stab you, huh? Is that it punk!?

Crisis (defending): Actually that exactly right! I couldn't go and torch my gruopie, now could i? And even if that groupie went to stab me, there was no real harmdone, but that snot SG went and paid aibou to stab me! I WATCHED...IT...PAY AIBOU! THAT PERSON HAD IT COMING!

Crisis (prosecuting): *smacks self* Get it together man! Do you have proof? I'm from missiouri! DO YOU HAVE PROOF!?!?!

Crisis (defending): *reals at self and levels plasma cannon at AG's face* DON'T. SMACK. ME. AGAIN. BITCH! And yes, i can prove it! It's not thew Defences turn to present evidence!

Crisis (prosecuting): The prosecution rests, your honor. I wanna see what this *practicly spits the word out* murderer has to show in his defence. I'd like to call Heather or Aibou as a witness to the stand, after a brief court recess. *stands up and leaves the courtroom*

Karma: Can you actually call a judge as a witness?

SG2: Other Alex is both prosecuting and defending. So why the Hell not?

Karma: Mm, alright. *gets down from nice high seat and sits in the witness box*

SG2: Just remember that now you gotta swap back and forth the way Other Alex had to keep doing...or entrust it all to Corey. ...Your call, man.

Crisis (prosecuting): Your honorable Justice Karma *bows* Now, could you tell the court exactly what you saw today?

Aibou: I call those 'violent urges.' <,

Lemmy: . . . Seriously, that's the most productive thing I can think to add to this here thread after reading through two pages of Other Alex talk to himself.

Crisis (prosecuting): Your next on the list Aibou of witnesses Aibou!

Crisis (defending): YEA! What he said!

Crisis (prosecuting): THIS IS MY TURN! MY WITNESSES TO CROSS EXAMINE! NOT YOURS YET! *calms down* so, before we got off topic there, would your honor kindly tell the court what you saw?

Aibou: *hops on top of the mech for a better view*

SG2: *is totally lost, but is Super Judge, so it's okay*

Karma: What I saw? Well, it was pretty simple really. Aibou was acting like a lawyer and concluded the lawsuit case. And then HE *points at prosecutor/defendant* all of a sudden whipped around and torched that poor SG person in retaliation! He claimed this SG was Aibou's employer and that's why he did it, but there was no proof as far as I could see!

Crisis (prosecuting): *is wondering where on the mech Aibou is sitting...* ME?!?!? I didn't do it! *points at Crisis* HE DID IT! You said he did it, but pointed at me...Is it possible that our judge here is really crazy and doesn't know what they saw? OH GOD MY BRAIN HURTS!

Aibou: *fiddles with the plasma cannon* Whee...!

Karma: Isn't anyone going to question the witness? Or cross-examine me? Why am I even sitting here?

Aibou: Your honor, I motion to dismiss. Clearly, the plaintiff has not acted upon their burden of proof and has provided insufficient evidence to prove the defendant guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. *explodes courtroom with ze Mech's plasma cannon* RECESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Karma: ORDER IN MY FUCKIN' COURT! Even though I'm a witness right now... I STILL WANT ORDER IN MY COURT!

Aibou: <,<; *looks through all the smoke and ash* ...What court?

Lemmy: This is even more of a circus than the O.J. Simpson trial was. BA-ZING!!

SG2: You lose points for zinging yourself, Lemmy. Also, didn't I predict this when I first set up the IGNO Court? And it's really only just becoming utter chaos now after all that time, so, we should be proud to have shattered the IGNO stereotype in such a way. Or something.

Aibou: oo?

SG2: It's the seventh page and the courtroom has only now been destroyed. ...Then again Aibou hasn't been with us for all seven pages, so it's a toss-up, there...

Aibou: Oh. Well. NEW COURTROOM!!!! Eyes. Thousands of hungry, malicious crimson eyes gleam within the dark, blood-stained arena. They swivel as one to focus on the floor, lit only by a scarlet spotlight streaming through the darkness above. The Doom Legion falls silent. COURT IS IN SESSION.

SG2: COLOSSEUM COURTROOM - RULING BY SUPER JUDGE: ACCEPTABLE. ...PROVIDED NO ONE GETS ON MY CASE OVER THE WAY I PRONOUNCE COLOSSEUM.

Crisis: What? do you pronouce both of the s's? *checks weapon systems, and deploys gundrones* Well, lets get this lawsuit started...

Aibou: *Several doom bunnies come down to circle the Mech and study it's awesome destructiveness!* o,o This is the case of who versus what now?

SG2: HOW I PRONOUNCE IT IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN!!!!! *all weapons cock* Also, uh...yeah, I forget what the case was, so, uh, court adjourned new case plz?

Karma: Seriously SG2, careful how you describe that weaponry or when Corey comes back there's going to be a series of new perverted jokes. That's the second time you've done that And Aibou, you should hear her say it, it's hilarious.

Crisis: I'll take her word on the second time bit... But try charging rather than cocking... After all, to cock a gun you pull the charging bolt/lever/slide

SG2: ...Well forgive me if I never thought YOU would be the one of all people to be pointing out potential penis referrences But my weapons are old-fashioned...there's really no other way to...prep them for fire...but to...to COCK them!! D-Dammit!! Also, in the world of the internet, you can't effectively convey my pronunciation of this or any of the other things I say with...personal flair (yeah, that's it). So nyah-hah.

Karma: Okay let's not forget I draw a 50 year old naked man at least once a week. I'm not completely ignorant when it comes to penises. I just don't make a habit of making the jokes myself, and I like to stay on the cleaner side of conversation, but I thought I ought to warn you before Corey returns. *shrug*

Aibou: ...*urk*

Lemmy: And in another thread we have, very nearly in response:

Yeah. Felt like the appropriate response, here.

SG2: ...I give you a cookie, Karma. In all seriousness though, the way this site works, by the time Corey returns, none of those refferences will be on the current thread pages, since we plow through a good 2+ pages on each thread daily. LEMMY BE QUIET OR YOU GO BACK IN THE BOX *GROWL* (Once a week was merely for comparative purposes anyways to her original line...I never have time to draw porn anymore. ...I mean...ahem.)

Lemmy: Neither do I, which is why all of your Gohans tend to come out dressed lately. Is there anything more sad?

Aibou: o_____________________o...

Crisis: Now, i'm not up to date with my DBZ, but the last time i paid it any mind, goten was only about 12 years old. How old is he now?

SG2: ...Uh-oh, Lemmy's gonna kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill you... *run*

Crisis: I asked an honest question. I've not watched DBZ in a good 4 years. How old is goten now? he should be about 16 or so, right?

Lemmy: Okay. The first and most logical question is . . . well, where the hell did you pull mention of Goten from to begin with? From what I can see, the only Z character even named in this thread was Gohan. Ignoring that, though . . . H-How . . . how in the name of fuck . . . Seriously. I don't know how much DragonBall Z you've watched, but if you've ever had your eyes on Goten for a time longer than 5 seconds it should be incredibly, incredibly apparent that there's no possible way for that boy to be 12. His height, his mannerisms, his expressions, the Nozawa-san voice inflection and ESPECIALLY the way in which he interacts with other characters (particularly his father, his brother and his best friend) should all be HUGE clues to Goten's general age for a person who doesn't know the exact number, and if anything I would have thought that people's guesses would skewer younger and not older-- you surprise me. THE MAGIC NUMBER IS 7. This is the age we see him at for the majority of his appearance in Z. He's just a little kid. If you can look at this and tell me that you see someone who's 12, then you have no soul. Later appearances (like in the final episodes of Z) tend to come under debate, but the general concensus is 16 or 17. IGNO Goten is the same age.

Reese:

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

SG2: ... ... ... ...Also Gohan is 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 17 and 27, so he was never 12 either, and, uh, anyways... WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COURTROOM COLLOSEUM DEATHMATCH?!

Crisis: *gets flamethrower ready*

Aibou: ; ; Damn. I guessed 8... ...*goes to make popcorn*

Lemmy: That number too is magical, being Trunks' age in the Boo saga. So yays for Aibou.

Aibou: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY *glomps Lemmy*

Reese: What the hell is a glomp?

Aibou: [Link]

Karma: AIBOU I LOVE YOU FOREVER FOR POSTING THAT. And as far as Goten's concerned he really just looks like a mini-Goku to me. But then I'm not an avid DBZ fan and never was, so...*shrug*

Aibou:XDXD I LOVE YOU TOO. Goten is cuter. ...And smarter. <<,

Karma: ABSOLUTELY I'll be sure to remember.

SG2: IN A SHOCKING RETURN TO TOPIC I HAVE A NEW CASE FOR THE COURTROOM!! AIBOU STOLE THE COPYRIGHT TO MY CHEESE SODA©®TM AND I SAY THROW HER TO THE WOLVES FILE A LAWSUIT GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!!

Aibou: *taps foot*

SG2: Order in Her Excellence's collosseum courtroom, now, Aibou, as we wait for the judging to begin...

Aibou:

Do, a deer, a female deer~
Re, a drop of golden sunnn...
Me, a name I call myself,
Fa - a long long way to run~~~
So, a needle pulling thread~
La, a... note to follow so...
Ti, a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to doe, oh, oh, oh...

SG2: ...Your confusion powers will not win you this case. Those only work on the threads involving direct combat.

Aibou: ( 1 ) A file called the complaint must be registered by the plaintiff.

SG2: ...WTF YOU SAID IT WAS *INTERMISSION*!! THE CASE HAS NOT STARTED YET!!

Aibou: <,<; The case does not begin at all until there is one. The plaintiff must file and deliver a form called the complaint to the defendant, in which you must list your reasons for legal action and the facts of your story as you see them. oo Clearly my confusion powers are still effective.

SG2: ... IGNO COURTROOM RULES ARE SIMPLIFIED SPECIFICALLY FOR MY UNDERSTANDING SO I SAY THE COURT BEGINS WHEN ALL VITAL MEMBERS ARE PRESENT DAMMIT!!! We didn't do those formalities for the other cases

Karma: Well? Do you HAVE a complaint to submit? And we're still missing vital members anyway. Can't start yet. Tsk.

SG2: My complaint is that I copyrighted Cheese Soda yeeeeeeeears ago and Aibou thinks she can just come in and steal it. I mean, stuff like characters or even my weapons, I admit legally, she has fair claim over; even if stealing them all makes her really mean and stuff. But I COPYRIGHTED that bitch, and she still came in and had the audacity to steal it from me. That's just plain rude, and ILLEGAL, so I want to file a lawsuit on her ass and get my Cheese Soda idea back!! And yeah, Other Alex, hurry your ass up.

Aibou: ( 2 ) The defendant must receive the letter and reply within 60 days upon obtaining it. ...*whistles* Do, a deer, a female deer... re, a drop of golden sun...

SG2: RULE NUMBER THREE I CAN BEAT YOU TO DEATH AT ANY TIME WOULD YOU RATHER WE DO THAT THAN HAVE A FAIR TRIAL WOULD YOU AIBOU *WOULD* YOU?!?!?!?!?!

Aibou: Meeee, a name I call myself, far, a long long way to ruuun...

SG2: RUN FROM THIS, BITCH!! *SQUEE-SEEKING MISSILE*

Aibou: NOT SO FAST YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD ...Now I can counterclaim for battery.

SG2: ... SUPER JUDGE SAYS OVERRULED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On the grounds that the missile didn't hit you. If it had, you'd be too dead to countersue. Wahaha.

Aibou: Ah, but it hit my Colosseum. If I am standing in it, the Colosseum is considered an extension of my person, and therefore in all technicalities it did hit me. YOUR SUIT IS NEGATED BY THE COST OF REPAIRS FOR MY COLOSSEUM.

Reese: This whole thread is going to Hell FAST! I wouldn't be surprised if I came back tomorrow and all memory of it will have been erased from IGNO. ALSO: Your Trap Card set's off her SEVEN TOOLS OF THE BANDIT, she had it the whole time, I'm a witness

SG2: TOO BAD FOR YOU I HAVE NO MONEY!! SUCKS FOR YOU, BITCH!!!

Aibou: ...Neither do I! Case closed! XD

Reese: I'm suing AngelGoten in a wronful death lawsuit for the murder of my family!

Aibou: *GASP* O,O

Karma: She murdered your family? That's horrible!

Reese: Her damned Garden gnomes did it, but she controlls them and is therefore guilty by proxy.

Karma: Aaaah, now that makes sense. *nodnod*

Angel: It was when they were out of my control. I had no part in the murders at all.

SG2: Such claims do not hold water in the IGNO Courtroom without sufficient proof, Angel. You should hire a good lawyer to first represent you (Other Alex is available). I assume Russell will be defending himself?

Angel: OTHER ALEX! BE MY LAWYER NOW! Please?

SG2: You should probably PM him and let him know what's up before this thread drowns in the process of other threads being bumped above it before the day ends.

Crisis: *Goes to help angel* You have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford me, than we find you the dumbest person on the face of the planet and appoint them your consul. However, you CAN afford me, so here i am. Russel! Do you have proof that the gnomes did it?

Karma: Ooh, Other Alex is a pretty good lawyer. This should be fun to watch.

SG2: Judging from the discussions we had about the IGNO Courtroom in real life when I first started it, Russell knows his stuff, too, and if he wants to win badly enough, I think he'll be able to butt heads with Other Alex rather effectively... This shall be interesting indeed. ...Let's go get the harness so we can keep Aibou chained up so as to not interrupt the legal buisness with...y'know, things of the explosive nature...

Reese: I found bloody gnome sized footprints at the scene of the crime (peoples exibit A), a bloodied small red cone shaped hat (peoples exhibit B), this surveilance footage of gnomes fleeing the sceene [image removed by Photobucket] (peoples exhibit C), this photo of the prime suspect apprehended just 20 minutes from the crime scene [image removed by Photobucket] (peoples exhibit D), and a key eye witness, myself (Peoples witness A). In short my case is air tight, plus it's a civil law suit so I don't even have to prove my case beyond a reasonable doubt, although I can.

SG2: Geez...he's even got evidence. Let's see Other Alex defend Angel out of this one.

Reese: Actually this is a civil trial, she does not have the right to an attourney, this is civil court there isn't even a jury, it's more of a judge judy type of thing. She can have an attourney in a civil trial, which is normally a waste of money since your attourney's fees, plus their cut of the winnings is most likely way more than what you win.

Crisis: However, the testimony of the witness is debatable, since a molester of chibi garra obviously is not a credible person, hence ruling out People's witness A. Second, you've accused my client of being an accesory to murder. That isn't a cival charge, and MUST be proved beyond a shadow of a doubt. Thrid, observe the strings in exhibit C. Those are cleary puppets, not gnomes. Fourth, passing off a bloodied anal sex toy (cause we all know thats how russel swings...) as a gnome hat is rather...lame... Fifth, on an investigation of your house, we found a pair of bloodied puppet feet, shaped to resemble a gnome's boot. And lastly, your prime suspect was arrested for illegal soliciting, not murder, and no murder charges have been leveled against him. Thus, after ruling out the gnomes, and the evdence found in Russels own home, its not beyond question that perhaps HE killed his family and sought to pin the heinious crime upon our beloved Angel! Thus i ask you this, Justices of IGNO: Is a person capible of molesting Chibi Gaara beyond murdering his own family? The defence rests.

Angel: He was trying to frame the gnomes and I, even though we all know it was HIM that murdered his own family!

Karma: Wow, Other Alex makes some good points. Let's see Russell get out of this one.

Reese: I clearly said:

Which is a civil suit. She is responsible by proxy because she controlls the gnomes. And it's "Reasonable Doubt" mr. big time attourney. First of all, you're the defence not the preocecution, of which ther is none in a civil trial. You as the defendant's attourney are only there to tell her when to speak and what to say. I am not on trial, the only thing that shall be determined in this case is wheter or not Angelgoten is liable for damages.

That cannot be proved and as such is not admissible, also it is up to the judge as to wether or not accept my witnesses testimony.

They are clearly rappelling away from the scene on ropes.

Can you provide a valid warrant?

Actually they have, but in a different venue as the gnome is not a member of IGNO.

Also I am now filing seprerate lawsuits against Angelgoten and Crisis for libel.

Aibou: Ooooooh.

Crisis: I'm AG. Your suing a member of IGNO. Thus, we come before the IGNO courts, which aren't civil courts (they're barely civil in nature as it is most days).

Yes, your correct in the fact your not on trial. However, the ruling of this court could allow the gnomes to make you an organ donor...

SG2 is the judge. She knows you molest chibi gaara. She's on record saying you can't trust someone who'd molest chibi gaara.

Those are puppets my delusional friend. You can see the strings holding them up.

Can you show me the rule of IGNO that says i need one?

All gnomes are members of IGNO. If the charges weren't filed through my office (and there haven't been any. Lots of stuff involving chirstmas and reindeer, but no murders.) than they aren't charged with crimes.

Wow. You just filled a charge of libel against the AG for something the court knows to be an accurate statement...

Reese: I move that judge SG2 be removed from the trial on grounds that she is biased.

Crisis: And you molest Chibi Gaara and won't leave the cloest. Your motion lacks momentum...

SG2: It's true, I do believe you can't be trusted, as you are a Chibi Gaara molestor. However I am merely SuperJudge so while my rule is absolute over this court...it means I'm lazy and am just kinda here to sit back and watch. In Corey's absence, this is Karma's courtroom, so it's in her hands to trust you or not - considering we have a trial, I assume that means she doesn't care about your lifestyle choices, and has decided you are within your rights to a fair trial. I find it juvinile that Other Alex's arguments can't get beyond trying to hold an accusation based on the molestation for which no charges have yet been pressed, in all honesty. Just because he gets his jollies from preying on homicidal young boys does not change the fact that Angel's gnomes slaughered his family...furthermore, the loss of his family may in fact be what LEAD to his sexual deviations. We should be pitying poor Russell for the monster Angel caused him to grow up to be, and I'd love to see Other Alex pull his client through this one. SuperJudge rests.

Crisis: Your honor. The accusing party's sexual deviations are not the keystone of my debate, but rather support the fact that his testimony is not to be trusted, ruling out the validity of Witness A. As to the rest of the evidence, they are obvious fabrications. The security video is plainly a fake. You can see the strings holding them up. Second, as Attorney General of IGNO, all accusations of all members (gnomes included) cross my desk, and he's claim that the gnome in question is accused of murder is a blatant lie. The gnome was arrested for illegal socliciting. Russel's molestations aside (Chibi Gaara, i'm waiting for you to file charges. We'd bascily skip the trail phase and get directly to punishment...), He's yet to prove that gnomes were involved in the inncedent. And since that he's yet to prove the gnomes, he's yet to prove Angel was involved. Since both parties have stated their case, i for one would like to see this travesty of the IGNO legal system (wow, there is something fundementaly wrong with that statement...) come to an end with a ruling.

SG2: *tosses a glance to Karma, who is tearing through a steak at her judge's desk* Your call on this, Your Excellence?

Aibou: <3,<3 Ze Mech makes a spiffy lawyer. IMO I would motion to dismiss the case, as the plaintiff has failed to act upon his burden of proof. That never works in this type of case, though... *sniffle*

Karma: *looks up from her steak* Hmm...wh..wha? Say it again, I wasn't listening.

Aibou: *hops on top of the Mech* Your Honor Blood Vampiress Paladin Karma, the defense would like to motion for dismissal of the case on the grounds that the plaintiff has clearly failed to act upon his burden of proof. His credibility is partially lost in his reputation as a Chibi Gara molester and a liar, and the rest in his blatant malicious prosecution shown in the presentation of falsified evidence. We believe it is a waste of this court's time and resources to attempt to delve further into this case. ...And besides, your Honor, it does detract from your steak eating time. *crosses fingers*

SG2: I'm confused. Does that mean Angel wins or Angel loses? Depending on the verdict, of course. Let's not forget that the fate of this board hinges on this case, lest it erupt into a mad war involving legions of rabbits taking on hoards of gnomes. ... THAT IS SO FUCKING HAPPENING IN THE CHRISTMAS STORY.

Aibou: The plaintiff (the prosecution) has what's called the burden of proof... that means they must make their case to show everyone that the defendant (Angel) is guilty and responsible. They come to court to convince the judge/jury that they are entitled to compensation, while the defendant basically goes, 'Um, no.' A motion to dismiss can and is usually made by the defense after the prosecution makes their case, but it's almost always denied, especially in casing involving severe injury or death. The purpose of the motion to dismiss (followed by an explanation) is to point out to the jury the flaws and irrationalities in the prosecution's case. Of course, if the motion to dismiss is allowed, well... insert victory music here, the case is thrown out.

SG2: ...Okay is anyone else scared that this is the first Aibou post I've ever seen that doesn't involve squee-ing, glomping, stealing characters, or discussion of bishies, chocolate, or stabbing people? OR *ANY* SMILIES WHATSOEVER?!

Aibou: oo; ...Hmm. I think I just triggered the apocalypse. OH SHI--

SG2: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah I think we're all pretty fucked, now.

Crisis: And not in the good way *prepares to meet his maker...*

SG2: ...Wait wait wait, there's a good way? Unless you speak of the RightPocalypse, I'm not sure what you me-- WAIT AIBOU WHAT IS YOUR HANDEDNESS AND IS THIS TRULY THE DAY THE HEAVENS ARE SMILING UPON US?!?!??!

Aibou: ...B-Bwah...? ...I'm... right handed...?

SG2: OH FINALLY THE DAY HAS COME!!! AIBOU CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE BROUGHT UPON US THE RIGHTPOCALYPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aibou: ......I don't get it... ; ;

Karma: That's it. Aibou, help me with this seppuku thing, there's no way in fucking hell I'm being SG2's slave.

SG2: *shoots Aibou in the head* You're an immortal vampire. You can't escape, Karma. LET'S BE BESTEST FRIENDS FOREVAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!

Aibou: ......Ph-Pheonix Down... plz...?

SG2:

Aibou: >___< *returns a very pissed off spirit* HISS.

Karma: FUCK NO NO WAY IN HELL AM I BEING YOUR BESTEST SLAVE FRIEND EVAR.

SG2: BUT YOU FAIL BECAUSE YOU SEE YOU ALREADY ARE BECAUSE NOW THAT THE RIGHTPOCALYPSE HAS HAPPENED I HAVE ABSOLUTE POWER in this thread only AND AS MY FIRST ACT I GRANT YOU UNDENYABLE IMMORTALITY WITH NO LOOPHOLES SO THE ONLY THING YOU COULD CONCEIVABLY DO IS USE MINDTRICKS TO FOOL ME INTO BEING YOUR SLAVE OR SOMETHING. ...Wait...

Aibou: ; ; SOMEONE TELL ME WTF THE RIGHTAPOCALYPSE IS

SG2: YOU WOULD BE WISE NOT TO MOUTH OFF TO YOUR NEW RULER, SLAVE!!!!!!!!!! Also read this.

Crisis: I AM NO1'S SLAVE! I WORK FOR MONEY! AND IT'S A GOOD THING THE ONLY THING I DO WITH MY RIGHT HAND IS WRITE!

Aibou: The RightApocalypse sucks. NEW WORLD ORDER PLZ

SG2: I can not be overthrown. I am Admin, and my power is absolute as the new Ruler of the Left. On this thread.

Aibou: ; ; Can I at least be a general...?

SG2: You can be a slave general if you chop off your right hand and learn to work with your left. You are not pure, but we can find use for you. Lemmy, ready the chopping block!!

Aibou: Nuu. *ninja vanish*

SG2: *Zanzouken behind Aibou and chops her right...tips of her fingers off* Dammit, she's too fast!! Well, you won't get far without half of your right fingers...you'll be back... ... MINION!! ...I MEAN LEMMY!! GET HER!!!

Karma: I DECLARE A SLAVE UPRISING! ALL SLAVES, ATTAAAAAACK!

Aibou: I AM SPARTICUS

SG2: *beats down all slaves* Fools, without your right hands, you are powerless. I already said on this thread I am all-powerful. This is one time I will not cave to your mob mentality of 'Let's All Beat Down SG2'. IT'S AIBOU'S FAULT THE RIGHTPOCALYPSE WAS REALIZED on this thread SO NOW YOU WILL ALL FALL WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aibou: ...LAST ONE TO DESERT IS A SHISHKABOB *FLEE*

SG2: *HOOKSHOT*

Crisis: *shield drone, followed closely by flaming naplam mixed with razor blades and exacto knife blades* She's stab proof, fairly fire proof, but lets try flaming stabs and slashs! Normally, i wouldn't do this, but 4/5 people is right handed, and that means 4/5 anime artists, game makers, and chocolate harvesters is right handed. WITH OUT THEM, WERE WOULD SG2 BE? THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

Karma: YEAH EXACTLY! All you get with left handed people is a lot of landscapers. SO WE RIGHT HANDED PEOPLE WILL FIGHT BACK! RRRRAWRRR!

Lemmy: Oh, my God. It's open rebellion. But don't you see? You're already too late; the New World Order is already in place. THE REVOLUTION: We came. We saw. We conquered yo' right-handed asses, biznatch.

Crisis: *covers lemmy in the flaming slash and stab goop* That felt good. Now, to keep SG2 from enslaving all non landscapers...

SG2: You fools. You don't get it, do you? I have sent for my special left-handed forces - five left-handed men, each as strong as I am. Don't you get it?! All of you together don't stand a chance against them!! Also what is so hard to grasp about RightPOCALYPSE? I told you, most of the Right are already DEAD. Very few survivors and they will all be killed shortly. Ambidextrous have become slaves. You fools have no forces with which to rebel. And the Left will rebuild society and fill the gaps so long hogged by the Right such as the occupations of which you so foolishly speak. You underestimate our power...although, you always have. That's why you're where you are now, isn't it? Oh snap.

Crisis: *holds up a tube that has the words "In Exteriminatus Extermis" stenciled across the side* This is a virus bomb. It's a world hamburglar. It realses an airborne pathagen that will cause all life on the planet to rot. After its done with everything else, it tries to consume itself, inginting the massive amounts of methane in the air, causing the world to burn. No amount of cehmical disinfectant can stop it. The right people get to live on freedom, or i kill the world. This bomb is set to blow if i stop sending a signal to it, or if a lefty touches it. Of course, jarring the thing a little too hard will cause it blow too. So, whats it gonna be?

SG2: *uses IGNO cheat codes to erase the bomb from existance* That. DO NOT MOCK THE POWER OF THE LEFT ADMINISTRATION. I CONTROL YOUR EVERY ACTION ON THIS ENTIRE FORUM... I just chose to play the part of the fool most of the time so you wouldn't be prepared for this day. LEMMY. DESTROY THIS TREASONOUS RAT.

Crisis: *//System.exit(0)* *Courtroom crashes* When in doubt, blow it up...

SG2: Aibou already did that before. Aibou also was the one who brought the RightPocalypse. ...Who wants to sue Aibou for all the problems on IGNO?

Aibou: AIBOU DOES...! ......Wait...

Crisis: Aibou Vs. Aibou. Justice Karma Preciding. Aibou, have you named a proecutor? And Aibou, have to named a cousul for the Defence?

SG2: Ooooooh, this'll be good. AIBOU OR OTHER AIBOU!! HIRE MCCARING LAWFIRM INC, LEMMY'S NEW TYPO-BASED LAWFIRM!!!!

Reese: I was gone from this thread for 1 day and THIS is what happens, It is once again a colloseum, which SG2 still cannot pronounce, filled with flaming attacks o doom and cheat codes!?!?! WTF!!!

SG2: I've been extremely careful not to say this word in front of either of you, so you don't even know HOW I pronounce it. Only Karma does. Maybe Lemmy though I can't recall any instance I'd have needed to say it over the phone... Also we just brought a new trial up, so, what are you complaining for?

Reese: But you told us you can't pronounce it so hearing it doesn't matter. Plus all I see are gibberish posts about cheat codes and such...

SG2: Then you need to pay attention. Also, no. You've never heard it, so it makes you powerless. Just like how I've never seen your Gaara Porn, so even if I know it's there, I can't have Chibi Gaara file charges.

Reese: Ah, I am a man, and a [insert family name here] man at that, so of course I look with my feet. You a woman with higher sensibilities should be sympathetic to the male plight, for surely you must look down on the lowly man with your ultimate kindness and wisdom, after all the word for wisdom is 'sophia' making the spirit of wisdom feminine, and thus something man shall always strive for but never fully comprehend.

SG2: ... I am not to be described with feminine qualities. Learn this, and cherish your life.

Reese: Whatever you say man-lady.

Aibou: Psst. Incase you haven't noticed, SG2 exhibits the personality of a very dominating male character (except the yaoi part).

SG2: COURTROOM.

Aibou: @_@ Ow.

Crisis: Back on topic, Aibou, has the Plantiff chosen counsel? And Aibou, has the Defence chossen Counsel

Aibou:

Aibou & Aibou:SHIZUKA!

Aibou & Aibou: *CONSPIRE*

Aibou: *HISS*

Aibou: *SNARL*

Aibou: *STAB*

Aibou: *MAIM*

Aibou: *CUT*

Aibou: *SLASH*

Doom Legion: ......; ;? *heads swivel back and forth*

Karma: The trial hasn't even STARTED yet for goodness sake! ORDER IN MY FUCKING COURT!

Aibou: Aibou & Aibou: MY COURT ROOM IS BETTER PLZ </3

Karma: BETTER THIS! *Leaps down from very high comfy chair, drops on top of Aibou and Aibou, and mauls them both* There. Now we have order again. Also a mess. Somebody clean this up! And snap to it!

Aibou:

Aibou: Owshitfuckpainsuffering...

Aibou: Owshitfuckagonyangst...

Crisis: Baliff, you've got a mess too clean up. Oh f***... SG2 is the baliff/super judge...

Lemmy: Her role of Super Judge exceeds her duties as bailiff to the point where she could simply order someone else to do it.

Crisis: Is it possible to get the mess to clean the mess up?

Aibou:

Aibou: PHOENIX DOWN PLZ.

Aibou: PHOENIX DOWN PLZ.

Crisis: And today Aibou learns that life is not like ff7, because its not the random shop keepers that control the supply, but it is Karma and SG2 that control the supply.

Aibou: Aibou & Aibou : X___x dieplz.

Karma: Look, if somebody doesn't clean my courtroom up I'm gonna get veeery angry and-- OOHSTEAK! *eats new serving of steak*

SG2: Lemmy, get your ass in here and clean up this mess you were 100% not responsible for creating, or I'll feed you to Karma after she finishes that steak.

Karma: Just the blood right? I find human flesh a bit unrefined and it lacks the proper juicy quality that a good slab of cowflesh possesses.

SG2: Look, whatever you eat is up to you, man. I'm merely providing the Lemmy carcass for you to do with what you will. That's all my job entails.

Karma: But carcasses usually don't have blood. ;__;

SG2: Lemmy's do. That's what make them so special.

Aibou: *vanishes video game-esquelike*

Lemmy: I'm kinda more into making messes right now than cleaning 'em. I mean, what with the . . . *drags self around leaking blood from his various Aibou stab wounds*

SG2: ...Does this please you, Your Excellence?

Karma: Hells no, he's leaking!

Lemmy: I'm not sure it pleases her that it's all over the floor, mind you. Once it's collected and then put into jars for her convenience, then yeah; I'm sure she'll be into it. The problem is that I'm bleeding faster than I can contain it. Somebody get near me with a bucket.

SG2: We've been over this, vampires don't tend to prefer drinking blood from jars as they do, y'know, just sorta plunging their fangs into your flesh and eating the natural way, as Karma does to you often enough. But yeah, clean up this freakin' mess before Her Excellence grows angry. ...Also we need a new case, man.

Lemmy: Well, we've exhausted all the ones that had potential. The Cheese Soda scandal, the Goten custody battle . . .

Aibou: The class action lawsuit...

Odd: Hi my name is Phil and I have serious issue to discuss. You may remember me about talking about the discovery of Dolphin eggs and how I loved making them.....WELL LITTLE Bitchy Lemmy, the one whose parents were rumored to be killed by Garden Gnomes, stole my Dolphin eggs. THIS IS NOT FUNNY NOR CUTE. THAT DOLPHIN EGG STEALING BASTARD CLAIMS THEY ARE HIS WHEN HE CAN NOT EVEN FIND ANY FOR HIMSELF. WE MUST MAKE LEMMY PAY WITH HIS LIFE.....I AM SUING LEMMY FOR 17 MILLION MANGA BOOKS, HIS HOUSE, HIS HEAD, AND mAYBE HIS LEG since it would be cool to own a human leg. ALSO I WANT TO WATCH HIM HANG IN FRONT OF A BUNCH OF CANABLISTIC ZOMBIE DOLPHINS WHO WILL RIP HIM LIMB FROM LIMB.

Aibou: o,o This is going to be so awesome. TO MY COLOSSEUM PLZ.

Crisis: Alright Lemmy. Start appointing consul

Reese: Man, another civil case...

SG2: Leg?

Aibou: *DIES laughing* OMG C-CAN'T... B-BREATHE...!

Crisis: I was going to wait for Lemmy to appoint me as his attorney before i pointed that out...

Lemmy: Baseless accusations and uncalled for slander. When this case is over, I'm going to sue Phil for libel and then use my merpowers to give him a fin. I need not appoint an attorney. Having taken a course in Criminal Law back in the day, I hereby name myself as defense counsel. COME AND GET IT, LUIGI. SPICY MEAT-A-BALL.

Aibou: And malicious prosecution! LUIGI.

Lemmy: THAT'S RIGHT. SPICY LEGAL ACTION, RIGHT HERE. HE'S-A GONNA GET IT.

Odd: Hmm, Touch'e calling someone a game name....I am not luigi and after this case is over I will be glad to accept a fin since then I can swim over the seas and hire some monkeys to eat your brains

ville: Ooooooh snap!

Aibou: ; ; Can we start yet?!

Lemmy: T'aint nothin' t'start. Phil has left, leaving me, the defendant, unchallenged and without persecution.

Odd: no case was closed after you gave me the dolphin eggs and I ate em in aim land Mmmmmmm Dolphin eggs taste like bacon

Cumtastic: Bacon? uh.. that was a gnome then.. they taste like bacon.. dolphin eggs taste like egg rolls.

Crisis: Phil is incapable of telling the difference. I think it has something to do with his frontal lobotomy.

Cumtastic: he only had a partcial lobo. what doctor s crazy enough to do that?

Odd: lobo whachamacallit....uh im just the guy who eats the eggs

Crisis: Exhibat A for my theory of the full frontal.

Reese: I don't know what a partcial is, but I'm gonna beat you 3 with Exhi-Bats until you learn some basic spelling and grammar.

SG2: Fuck the thread I actually made on the topic; I think this thread has given me my answer about making that all-out random board. Else Karma will rue the day she decides to come back to IGNO.

Cumtastic: spelling and grammer dont exist on the interweb ALSO, a partcial lobodomy is when they one take out one part.. in this instance the FRONT part.

Crisis: all lobotomies from the get go were intended to remove parts of the frontal lobes, as those control the upper brain functions, like emotions and thinking. there are 3 main types, 2 involing drills, and the third involving an ice pick like thing, but i'll be damned if i'll post the exact procedure for the last one here, cause it's flat out gross, so i'll link to them (SG2, DO NOT READ THE LINKED PAGE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Paragraph 5 of this linked page gives the details).

Cumtastic: but it's much more fun if you screw with the ENTIRE brain..

Lemmy: Hence your sig that quoteth me.

SG2: If I may quote Russell: "Ummm...what?" *puts on Lost Jacket* ...So um... ...Courtroom.

Cumtastic: Lems How did you know?

Karma: Lems?

SG2: Well...he does have numerous nicknames. (Most of which originate from typos somehow)

Karma: I suppose but that one seems a bit out of the blue.

SG2: I still like Lemmychuck.

Karma: I dunno, Lems is starting to grow on me now...

Reese: I'm a fan of Lemmykins.

SG2: I think you guys are all forgetting that he's probably not a fan of any of them.

Lemmy: Not that it's gonna stop you, though . . . right? So it's like, why the fuck did you bother pointing this out? Lemmy has many names, the bulk of the pot divided equally between self monikers and the SG2-imposed humiliations. Off the top of my head, we have:

Creepy Pedo Grandpa Stalker
Darrin
Dee (as in "D"; short for Darrin)
His Lemmyness
Lem
LemmyChuck*
Lemmy-kun
Lemmi-Sue (-Beth, -Jane, etc.)
Lemmykins
Lem-Yi
Mystic Chibi
Shellback Prince
"Sweetheart" (trademark Karma, in a sarcastic tone)
*denotes the first

Hm. Lems I could get used to.

Karma: Didn't I call you hun once too?

SG2: You wouldn't get used to it. All I'd have to do is start using it to you in a derogitory way and you'll get just as tired of that one.

Karma: Aww but I'd use it affectionately. Right Lems?

Reese: What about Lemmywinks?

Karma: Isn't that a game? ...no, wait, that's Tiddlywinks. Nevermind.

SG2: Lemmywinks is the Gerbil King. Lemmy is the Mermaid King. Since the mermaids have been at war with the gerbils since the dawn of time, it seems inconceivable to me that Lemmy would adopt such a nickname favourably.

Karma: .... I don't even wanna know, I decided.

SG2: Someone has a prejudice against gerbils.

Lemmy: Wow. Karma, capable of prejudice? I'm so disillusioned.

Cumtastic: *shock*

SG2: I know, it's appalling.