Crazy Momentz

Lemmy: At SG2's request, I'm trying to make a personal comeback to the board and post a bit more often than I have been as of late. In lieu of this, I'm proposing a new discussion topic to you all. So simply, what's the craziest thing that's happened to you? I'm not talking about the material that belongs in the Stupid Stories thread, or even your average Random Facts. I'm talking sheer, off-the-wall crazy experiences that have happened to you that you just . . . can't explain. Get the picture? Here, allow for a personal example: Sex isn't something I have every day. For that matter, neither is masturbation. Hell, I don't mind admitting it-- most of the time, my love life is pretty dry. I don't date or even live near to a LOT of pretty girls, so sometimes I can go a week, two weeks forgetting that I even have something between my legs (. . . well, except for the usual morning wood, heh). And if I go for an extended period without feeling anything, it'll usually take something special to make me remember. That being said, I now know my limit. I've gone too long without being stimulated when I find myself sexually attracted to a blueberry muffin. Yeah, that's right. Explain it? How the fuck do you want me to do that? The explanation is as simple as . . . I wake up one morning, look for something to eat, find the pack of muffins I'd brought home from the bakery the night before and . . . and suddenly I just . . .It must have been something ABOUT that particular muffin, something that made it delicious in more ways than one. Or maybe something to do with the blueberries. Something about that damned bread was an instant turn-on, and the way it didn't say a word I could tell that it knew what it was doing to me. That muffin was playing it cool, and damn was it making me hot. Are we unclear? I had an erection . . . and not just a little one, either. So I've thought and thought and thought about the magic of that morning, tried applying every kind of logic I could so that it would make sense. And I've come to the conclusion that I'm simply . . . muffin-sexual. Do with this what you will. So now . . . I've shared an embarassing, complete and total WTF moment with you all. So don't be shy. Don't be ashamed. You won't be judged on this thread . . . well, Andrew and Corey might be. So go on, people. Share some of your weirdest moments. Next time: If you thought the Muffin was weird, wait until you meet the Ladybug-- after all, at least the muffin didn't hit on me directly.

Karma: Dear SG2, Kindly please gouge out my brain now. With that really long nail I once showed you way back when, remember that sharp pointy object? Yes, please put it through my head and then for extra safety remove my brain. Make sure you viciously stab all sections of the brain pertaining to imagery because I really don't want that part of my thinking process any more, thanks. Have a nice day! Sincerely, Karma

ville: Have Corey do it. Hes great with a saw. lol

SG2: Dear Karma, Wasn't that...didn't I kill you on accident last time that happened? I'm trying to find that old chat you're reffering to...but it's a bit difficult going through December, January, February+ backlogs Although...if I become smarter than you after I destroy your brain...is that good or bad? Love, SG2

Karma: Dear SG2, My poor mind is seriously suffering here, so would you please kill me quickly? Really quickly? I don't care if you accidentally kill me because that's kinda the point. I don't want my head anymore. But sure, you can inherit all my smartness and geniousness when I die. I'll figure out a way to transfer that to you post humously. Sound good? Great. Please begin the brain-gouging now. Sincerely in pain, Karma

Lemmy: Karma wants her brain to be gouged over this, and yet there was virtually no reaction whatsoever when SG2 slipped the Ladybug Story into our last groupchat? WTF?! I think that story is far worse.

SG2: It's probably because the ladybug was just 'there' and that story had nothing to do with you getting an erection over disturbing foodstuffs. Anyways, *gets brain-gouging tools* Whenever you're ready, Karma.

Lemmy: Make certain to eat her brains, kid. They will give you power.

SG2: According to Professor Farnsworth it's not power. It's courage. Rich, tasty courage.

Corey: when i grow up, i want to be just like you

Karma: I'm ready whenever you are. *offers head*

SG2: Okay!! *LOUD BRAIN-DRILLING NOISES* Okay, now... Karma? How are you feeling?

Lemmy: You can drill the story out of her head, but you can't remove the stain that it has left on her soul.

SG2: You know, I could make a really easy comeback after that involving the semen stains on your ceiling but DAMMIT I care about Karma too much to put her through that again!!

Karma: *would be exhilerated that somebody cares if she weren't brainless and thus, Pretty Much Dead*

SG2: *unscrews Karma's skull and pops in replacement brain* There, how's that feel?

Karma: *scratches head curiously, pops neck, and considers* Good. And clean! And brand spankin' sparkly new! I can't even remember why you removed my brain in the first place. Whatever it was for, thanks!

SG2: Eeeeeeeexcellent...looks like my zombie brain transplant experiment is going according to plan friend is back to her good old self, uh, yaaaaaaaaay!!

Karma: Brrraaaains.....So...hungry...

SG2: GOD DAMMIT KARMA @#$% ATTACKED ME AND BIT MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO I DO NOW?! THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!

Karma: Speaking of zombies... President Bush Authorizes Zombie Killing Defense Budget

SG2: Wow.

Karma: Well really, he does have a fantastic plan to defend the US from Zombie attack. He even takes into consideration that slow-moving people might actually be zombies in disguise, thus, why he attacked several slow-moving zombies-disguised-as white-house-tourists, as he explains in this video.

Lemmy: We've really underestimated him as a leader. Now I wish that we could have three-term presidents.

Karma: No kidding. I'm sure any of the current candidates just won't have a good zombie-protection policy. It's so sad. What's this world coming to? We're all going to die from zombie attacks because Bush can't run for a third time to enforce his policies. Tsk tsk.

SG2: We're all going to die of zombie attacks because you and Phil are spreading your zombie army.

Karma: You have no proof of that! And my zombies aren't just any zombies y'know. I have ninja zombies so hah!

SG2: Yeah, well... ... ...Maybe I have MAFIA Zombies.

Karma: Yeah but NINJA zombies are better than mafia zombies. Because Ninja zombies, being Ninja, would be fast zombies. Mafia zombies would still be slow zombies.

SG2: Che. Your perceptions of the Mafia, even if not especially in Zombie Form, are skewed, if only for the sole reason that we only let you have those perceptions for our own benefit.

Karma: That proved absolutely nothing. You just don't know what to say in response to the sheer AWESOME of my zombie ninjas, so you're avoiding admitting it. That's okay, I forgive you. As do my ninja zombies.

ville: Im sorry if i have to assume the role of responsible person on the boards, but it has to be said. THIS IS NOT THE ZOMBIE/NINJA THREAD!!!!! BE A BIT MORE ON-TOPIC PLEASE!!!!!!

Corey: following robert's rules of order, i would like to make a motion to shut andrew up for 24hrs, is there a second?

SG2: Aye!! *SHOTGUN* Clearly he was an undead Zombie. I mean, his call for off-topicness was meant to lead us into the true Zombie Thread, which was obviously trying to lead us into a trap. Undead bastard.

Lemmy: . . . if there's a such thing as reverse vampires, could we also have . . . REVERSE ZOMBIES?! Just a thought. Like the gospel of the Bible, Master Shake's wisdom frequently extends into our everyday lives.

Corey: actually, under robert's rules of order, you can't vote, since i assume you are the chairman, u r the chairman, right? but seeing as he is undead, that changes everything

SG2: The rules of the undead are automatically different, yes. And look at the wheels...see, those are the markings.

Corey: can i beat up zombie andrew with a bible, that might burn him or something while beating him, plz?

SG2: *tosses Bible* Sure, go crazy with it!!

Corey: hey, this is a cheap bible from a hotel, get me a real bible like the gutenburg bible, hey i remember andrew doing a presintation is altobelli's class on that bible, it is nice and thick and prob hurts to get hit with it, i want that one!!!!

SG2: Sorry, it was all I had...I got it from Tim's Mom, so yeah, makes sense it'd be from a cheap hotel...well I'll try to find you a good one, then.

Karma: Reverse vampires? Well there are Crusniks, so I suppose there could be something to hunt zombies, but I sure as hell haven't heard of'em yet (I have to ask how many ppl actually got that reference, by the way)

SG2: I did not.

Karma: Crusniks...the vampires-that-feed-on-vampires in Trinity Blood, although the name itself comes from vampire-slaying shamans in Russian/Scandanavian lore.

SG2: Ah, yeah...I don't know jack shit about Trinity Blood because I barely saw any of it and it was over a year ago, so I forgot pretty much anything I ever learned

Karma: I thought as much, which is why I doubted anybody got the reference.

SG2: Sorry, sorry So question!! You're currently a Zombie...but you still have the WereKarma form, though you can't take that form voluntarily without a trigger...and are you implying that you perhaps have latent vampiric powers as well? And you're supposed to be a PALADIN. For shame. Turn aside your either ways and fight for the side of justice. The Dark Side may have cookies and kittens, but we have Death God Porn and Vanilla Coke...

Karma: T...they both have such good things! ...maybe I'm a vampiric zombie paladin?

SG2: Nope. That's not fair. You have to pick one. Or maybe I'll be nice and let you pick two, but only if you give up that brain and let me end the Zombie War... ...Then you can be a Vampire Paladin. ...OR A FOOTBALL PLAYING KING IN SPACE!! ...WITH A MOUSTACHE!!

Karma: I don't wanna be a football playing king in space with a moustache! No Spongebob for you!

SG2: Awww... *sulk*

Corey: i have a goatee

Karma: That means you're evil, you know. We'll have to kill you. (Or you can just join my side).

Corey: well we already knew i was evil so we didn't learn anything here

SG2: Corey raises an excellent point. Just what were you trying to accomplish there, Karma?

Karma: I was trying to accomplish recruiting Corey on my side, since my side has vampires and world domination and would thusly be considered 'evil' to some.

SG2: Well this time, since my brain is not trying to be eaten, I'm more willing to join your side because it'd make our criminal team a lot more of a realization than a blind dream...I could punch bitches and you could throw cats, but this time, we could be sure to do it around lunch time, so you'd be nice and hungry to destroy all resisters. Plus so long as you don't suck me dry I've no problem SHARING some of my Tiger Blood with you...remember GetBackers? Emishi's Rouran blood is called 'tiger blood' and when it touches the air it gets all explody and shite Corey will surely join my side for the same reasons as in the Zombie War, too. I forget some of the reasons, but others included funding for weaponry and the ability to kill Andrew, so it's all good, right?

Karma: So I guess the alliance has shifted. Hmm...strange how things change, just because my classification of undead changed. So now we've got the Bitch Puncher and the vampire in our cat-throwing crime team. Heh heh heh...do we have any black market contacts?

SG2: That's on a need-to-know basis and in a crime duo only one of us really needs to know...it's best for us both if you keep out of it, trust me, for safety reasons. Wonder what type of slave position we can assign to Lemmy beyond 'constant blood supplier'...because you always gotta have backup for those slow crime days.

Corey: i'm not joining either side till i get promised hot chicks in exchange for my services

Lemmy: I have no such (meaningful) position on either side. However, I could conceivably have positions on both sides if Aibou decides to have me spontaneously divide into two separate people again, like she did the other night during the Sugar Wars.

SG2: Aibou loses by default because IGNO is my board and if I say I always win it means I always win, and because Aibou is also not Karma and does not have the power to negate my IGNO powers.

Karma: Yeah she pretty much wins because she said so. Plus I say so because I'm hungry, and while I technically don't own you, I still can influence you pretty well.

Lemmy: I will now take this opportunity to cite Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation-- specifically the part where it says that no human being shall be owned by another, for anyone whom may have missed the point-- as evidence that you should not only free me, but grant me reparations as a sign of good will and apology in order to atone for the suffering your ownage over me has caused in the past year.

SG2: American law is not a factor of life in IGNOLand, my dear Lemmy.

Karma: Disregarding SG2's lack of caring for following laws, or the fact that it wouldn't apply to IGNO anyway, the Emancipation Proclamation still wouldn't help you much dearie. Contrary to popular opinion, the Emancipation Proclamation did not free all slaves, but rather only slaves in the Confederate rebel states. As there are no more confederate rebel states, and you're in MA--which was always on the Union's side to begin with--you're outta luck my friend. Too bad.

SG2: It's all too rare in a desolate land like IGNO, but you have to love Karma's logic. When it's not out to harm ME.

Karma: My logic is an amazing thing, it is. And it's not always out to get you, you know.

Crisis: every now and again it finds a new victum of superior value to hunt down

Corey: ah, but the massachusetts constitution was ammended prior to the civil war so slaves were illigal in massachusetts, therefore, it is illigal, yay for lemmy, boo for everyone else, including me because i wanted to see lemmy a slave

Karma: But he didn't site the MA constitution, so don't give him any ideas!

Corey: he didn't site the fedral constitution either but that says: Amendment XIII Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction. Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation so as long as he is convicted and his sentence is to be your slave, then its ok, yay, we need an igno court

Karma: As the smart people, Corey, you and I ought to be the judges.

Corey: i totally agree

Crisis: Ahh, but lemmy once told me he WILLINGLY entered his current state, after having several ways to get out or refuse.

Corey: yes, but technically he can leave at any time, this way, we prevent that

Karma: Lemmy does it to himself, really. Poor guy. I'd almost feel sorry for him, if he weren't my current food source.

SG2: *is shocked and terrified over the fact that Karma would appoint Corey as potential judge in the IGNO Courtroom*

Karma: Why not? He has a good understanding of law. That'd be the point of a judge.

Corey: yay, someone thinks me so smart

Karma: No prob. See I don't harrass you all the time!

Crisis: We take turns!

SG2: Truly, it is a great system... ...Nonetheless, well-versed in law as he is, Corey is still at least a part-time communist, and he's...Corey... ...Depending on the content of some of the cases that could be brought to IGNO Court, I would seriously reconsider his judgement - particularly in anything that could involve hot chicks. But this is why I appointed myself as Super Judge. IT MAKES ME EXTRA AWESOME.

Crisis: Why do i suddenly have the feeling the line will be rather...curvy? Maybe it's becuase it's far to early for me to be thinking with anything close to logic.

SG2: ...Just what the Hell are you implying?

Corey: i think he means u might step in and be bias yourself

Lemmy: And a Super Judge is prevented from being biased since when, exactly . . . ?

SG2: DAMN YOU LEMMY I WILL HAVE KARMA SUCK YOU DRY AND THEN DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE

Crisis: Will karma be doing the dancing 2, or will that be you? And how many graves does Lemmy have? He dies about every, what, 12 seconds?

Karma: Oooh, and I'm hungry too...

SG2: We're smart enough not to waste graves on Lemmy because they can get really expensive, you know, and as you said, he does too often to where it's worth it, really.

Crisis: I figured there was a rock or something someone found in the woods witha running talley. For an experiment, if both SG2 and karma can record how many times they are responsible for killing Lemmy for an average week, than we can get an idea of what the talley is at, excluding days where he wasn't on to be killed or temper tantrums where he was killed every third line.

SG2: I kill him like, 30000x more than she does, because she's A) a pacifist, B) too nice/merciful, and C) she just doesn't talk to him as much as I do, so there's less opportunity. Still, the most fun are the kills that we share...like the new Team Attack animation on the Fighting Game thread

Crisis: I was curious to see how many death's hes died total. does anyone know how to get the board to display the side ways 8 of infinty? That would be something to add to his sig (or SG2's sig...)

SG2: ‡ Gotta love character map. Edit: Dammit, it displayed in the box when I typed it, but it didn't render properly.

Lemmy: I had the same problem when I tried to post that faux Japanese in the Courtroom thread-- it would type into the reply box, but it wouldn't show up the way it was supposed to. However, this works in my favor if it means it keeps me safe from those freaky-ass smilies of yours.

SG2: Actually I can still get some of those to work. ò_Ó

Crisis: It's called the fourm knows that some of us lack the lang pack that was used, so it just uses the default for those freaky langage stuff. Don't ask how i know these things. It's not for your organic minds to know

SG2: Either way the only thing I can conclude from all of this is that Lemmy sucks.

Karma: A sound conclusion.

SG2: You can really conclude anything like that, which is why it's so easy when he spends like, 10 to 15 minutes typing up counterpoints, all I have to do is say 'yeah well, too bad you suck, then', and it renders it pointless.

Karma: Poor Lemmy.

Lemmy: I'm not afraid. Of either of you. Well . . . maybe Karma, mainly thanks to the Awesome Powerz she possesses that are capable of subduing even an SG2. This is why I've been of the mind lately to offer my blood freely and without resistance, because we all know if Karma wanted to that she could use her insane brain powers to destroy any one of us with a thought. ...*offers wrist*

Karma: Like I said Lemmy...some days, I really love ya. *helps self to snack*

Lemmy: That's all well and good, but the only love I need comes from the one and only SG2.

SG2: Aww

Karma: I have this weird feeling that he was threatened with bodily harm again.

SG2: ...N-no...

Karma: Mmhm.

SG2: ...Crazy Momentz?

Lemmy: Would'ja believe it? Fresh out. And for me, that is a Crazy Moment.

SG2: Yeah, except, you're lying, so that doesn't count. Time to break out the Lying Taser. *TASERS LEMMY*

Lemmy: AUGH, GOD!! *zZzZzZzap* I SAID THAT I HAVE NO MORE, AND I MEANT IT! *zZzZzZzap* G-GOD DAMN YOU!!

Aibou: <,< Lemmy could probably use the Stoneskin spell for damage absorption...

SG2: Lemmy is not of the right class to cast magic. You need a high intelligence, which he lacks greatly. He'd probably be a brawler or something since he's best with hand-to-hand combat. Spells, noooooo.

Karma: No but that's what we're for. Though I actually like to help him, whereas Aibou just helps him long enough to make him interesting to stab/maim/burn/etc.

Aibou: ^,^ Actually, you need high skill in MND to be a white mage. He has insane skill in MND, seeing as how his mind is not a pile of mush after daily stabbing, maiming, and bleeding in general. With the brawler bit added in, he becomes a red mage...!

SG2: No mage powers for Lemmy. I forbid it. There are enough mages as it is, anyways. AND MATH MAGES.

Crisis: And the math mechs. Anyway, lemmy never struck me as a mage. He's too...gentle. While smart enough for magic, i think he'd be more along the lines of divine spell casting. Mages blow shit up. Clerics mend your wounds, cure disease and poisions, and bring the dead back. Of course, they're also decent (not very good, but better than mages) at the brawling business, and they do get a limited number of spells that are to smite unbelivers of his god (Read SG2)

Karma: YAY SMITAGE.

Aibou:

I fell over laughing. *huggles her LV70 mage*

SG2: Smiting is lots of fun, though. I do it, and I'm not even a mage. HEY KARMA ARE THERE ANY BLOOD COUNTRY REBELS I CAN SMITE FOR YOU?!

Karma: Not right now, we're doing pretty well. No rebels or anything.

SG2: Hm, maybe we should just go get some XP. Beat up some gnomes or something.

Karma: Sounds good

SG2: Alright, move out, team!!! *CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC* Wild GNOME appears!! Go, WEREKARMA!! WEREKARMA uses MAUL!! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!! Wild GNOME has fainted!! WEREKARMA gained 45 EXP. Points!! WOW AWESOME WE'RE LEVELING UP ALREADY!!!

Karma: HSSSSSSSS

Crisis: Can i be next? To pwn gnomes that is. Not be a were karma chewtoy...

Karma: GRRRRRRRRRRrrr....

Lemmy: If the WereKarma chooses you, your choice in the matter instantly vanishes. The best you can hope for is to use your left-handed powers to subdue her somehow . . . unless you're right-handed, in which case you're fucked because Karma is the most powerful right-handed being alive and she'll simply absorb your similar but comparatively piddly-ass powers. The moral of the story is LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING. THE REVOLUTION: We came. We saw. We conquered yo' right-handed asses, biznatch.

SG2: Can I honestly say I did not put Lemmy up to these left-handed posts? Because really, that little catchphrase of his is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. LET'S GET BACK TO WINNING EXP PEOPLEZ

Crisis: I know. Ceasar was a righty. Hell, being a lefty in Rome was a bad thing (left is sinistra in latin. looks a lot like sinsiter don't it?) so you taught your self to be a righty.

SG2: Fuck Caesar. I have a book with left-handed facts and stuff and it lists a bunch of left-handed greats - there are several warlords and conquerors on said list (I think Ghengis Khan was one). I'll dig it up and prove to you that the only reason left handed people have been so oppressed for so long is the obvious: THE RIGHT HAVE ALWAYS FEARED OUR POWER.

Karma: *LEAPSMAULSLEMMY*

Crisis: *waits for Karma to finish mauling lemmy* I wonder... *tosses Karma a rawhide bone*

Lemmy: A BONE DOES NOT COMPARE TO THE DELICIOUSNESS OF MY SHREDDED CARCASS, ASSHOLE. *is torn apart*

Crisis: Were-Karma's are somethng i've not seen before now. SO, i'm testing the theory that since she's a a dog person (again, garnnered from various references from threads, and i'm pretty sure SG2 told me she was), the were-animal part is a wolf, and thus the use of rawhide bones could possibly save all the non-Lemmys in the world from a mauling.

Karma: *GRRRRROWL* *CROUCHES TO GET READY TO POUNCE ON MECH* HSSSSSSSSSsssss....

Crisis: *shoots out of there like a roman candle rocket*

Aibou: oo Hmm. I hypothesize that WereKarma would like a side of Vanilla Coke with her raw Lemmy. *sets a can beside the Lemmy and scoots away*

SG2: WEREKARMA IS A BITCH ALRIGHT.

Crisis: Oh! So karma's a she-wolf! Okay, thanks for that confirmation! I'll get the bunnies to feed her!

Aibou: OMG KARMA HAS A SPRITE I WANT A SPRITE. ...NOOO! NO FEEDING MY LEGION TO KARMA!! *WHACKS ON MECH*

Crisis: did i say i was feedint Karma doom bunnies? No, i was going to feed her bunnies that are too pacifistic to be doom legionnares

Aibou: ; ; Fool! All bunnies are part of the Doom Legion. They just... all don't know it, that's all. BUNNIES ARE CUTE AND FLUFFY AND SWEET THEY ARE NOT TO BE FED TO WEREKARMA ; ;

Karma: *SSSSSNARRRRL* *LEAPSONAIBOU* HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Aibou: OWSHITFUCKDAMNHELLFUCKOWPAINFUCKSUFFERINGAGONYFUCK!!!!11

ville: Why hasnt anyone referenced the evil bunny from Monty Python? That is the evilest bunny everrrrrr!!!!

SG2: I bet you Aibou controls that bunny. I bet that bunny is her right-hand man when she needs to go on the most heavy-duty doom sprees.

ville: NOBODY CONTROLS THAT BUNNY!!!!!!!! IT IS IMMUNE TO ALL POWERS!!!!

Aibou: It's my very best friend, actually!

Crisis: which probably explains a lot...

Aibou: ^,^ We have tea and carrot cake on the weekends. Ze bunny helps lots of my Doom Bunnies, too.

SG2: ... ...I demand that Aibou apply her art skillz to drawing this image because I so need to see a Doom Bunny tea party right right nao.

Aibou: @_@ WHAT SKILLZ?!

SG2: DRAW IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Aibou: ; ; I CAN'T DRAW FUZZY THINGS OR FURNITURE PLZ

SG2: But you drew that girl with all the fuzz kitties

Karma: SHIMEI AND KITTIES.... ... I saw a whole bunch of fuzzy bunnies at the pet store today They were all...fuzzy. And...bunnies. Yeah.

Aibou: @_@ Did you happen to notice how HORRIBLY DRAWN that girl and those fuzzy kitties are? MY DOOM LEGION SPIES ON YOU KARMA.

Karma: Well they weren't doing a good job of it because they were sleeping in a big fluffy pigpile.

Aibou: <,<; They... were... uh... conspiring. Secretly.

Lemmy: It takes some crazy breed of magic . . . amazing, rainbow-furred . . . fruit bunny . . . to conspire while sleeping.

Karma: They weren't rainbow colored either. They were gray and black and super-fuzzy and one had a white stripe down his nose and EEEE THEY WERE SO FLUFFY AND ADORABLE

SG2: I WANT AIBOU TO DRAW THE DOOM LEGION TEA PARTYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aibou: @_@ GIVE ME L33T H4XX0R DRAWING SKILLZ AND I SHALL

SG2: 'Kay. *bestows Ultimate Skillz upon Aibou* Now, go forth!!

Aibou: oo... *goes to try*

SG2: ...Wow, I'm good. ... *bestows upon Lemmy the ability to not make typos* This will be a true testimate to my skills...

Aibou: <,< I don't think ANYONE has that kind of power... the typos are too strong.

SG2: I WILL TRY!! I HAVE THE POWER!! Maybe.

Aibou: WE WILL COMBINE OUR POWERZ O,O

SG2: ...You have powers too?!?!

Aibou: oo Conspiring powers.

SG2: I see, and I am intrigued. What can these conspiracy powers do to help me with my goal?

Aibou: You can take over the WORLD!

Crisis: For the Kaiser, of course

Aibou: Of course. <,<;

Crisis: just makin' sure. I've got your back

Karma: If we combine our powers, do we make Captain Planet? I CALL FIRE

Aibou: HEART HEART HEART HEART I WANT HEART OO

SG2: Oh...God...horrible 80's cartoon themesong memory bad flashback go 'way go 'way go 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Aibou: CAPTAIN PLANETTTT HE'S OUR HEROOOO GONNA BRING POLLUTION DOWN TO ZEROOOOOOOOOO

SG2: :brainbreak:

Karma: SO WHO HAS WATER, EARTH AND WIND?!

SG2: M-my elements quiz said I was wind... Lemmy is a beautiful mermaid... I really don't wanna be in the Captain Planet Club...

Lemmy: Oh, but y'wanna be in the Lost Club so damn bad that your jacket was a frickin' quest? Are you discriminatory towards certain races and purposes of club? CLUB WAR, and it's gonna be stupid as fuck because some of us are members of both clubs~!!

SG2: ...Wow. ...The end. *now fears someone will indeed make this new thread*

Reese: Dibs EARTH!!!!! *sings along* GONNA HELP US *MUMBLE MUMBLE* BAD GUUYS WHO LIKE TO LOOOT AND PLUNDEEEER!!!

SG2:

Lemmy: . . . Denetai, did you just . . . like . . . never watch this show, or what?! You look embarrassed to be seen in the same IGNO with any of us!! WE'RE THE PLANETEERS!! YOU CAN BE ONE, TOO!! 'CUZ SOMETHIN' SOMETHIN' SOMETHIN' IS THE THING TO DO!!

Karma: Karma ~ Fire SG2 ~ Wind Lemmy ~ Water (on account of being a beautiful mermaid) Russell ~ Earth Aibou ~ Heart GO CAPTAIN PLANET

SG2:

Karma: So howsabout this club war? When do we start the warfare?

Lemmy: Remember, now. It's between THE LOST CLUB - People who are continually lost in the things other people say and have an affinity for quality coatwear and THE PLANETEERS - Fans of Captain Planet who have been handed down the Five Special Rings for the sake of IGNO chaos.

Karma: Well I've got the Fire ring so I guess I'm in the Planeteers club...along with SG2, Lemmy, Russell and Aibou from the looks of it. WHO DO WE FIGHT? WHO'S LOST OUT THERE?!

SG2: ...You know, Karma, I seem to recall you waging a war on the Lost Club members in another thread...and yet, here, you appear to be a member yourself...Who has a dual-membership in another club...that plans to wage war on all members of the first...making it entirely possible for you to be forced to fight against yourself. ... ... PARADOX!!" Yup.

Karma: That makes it all the more fun.

SG2: Well...I WOULD pay money to see you beating the crap out of yourself... Though I'd pay to see you beating the crap out of anyone...Karma + violence = it just doesn't happen...BUT IT TOTALLY SHOULD...

Karma: I'm the only person who could defeat myself, of course, my genius is just that total.

SG2: Wow. WTF. *goes to post something in Crazy IM Conversations*

Karma: I know, really. It's awesome.

SG2: Yeah but it's not like...you LOOK formidable...in the least...no offense, but you're like...I mean at least with me, even for people who don't know my temper naturally, I'm small but I've got broader shoulders and my upper arms are pretty muscular, but YOU...WTF are they smoking?!

Karma: I am small and fast, therefore I am invincible.

SG2: Yeah but without the physical strength to back it up...how would that translate into you full-out kicking their asses?

Karma: Hell if I know, but I see an opening and so I exploit it.

SG2: That's always a good plan of action!! You just gotta hope you're so lucky that they're really too terrified of you to move...because once they realize what a soft, fragile, non-violent person you are, and that you've been leading them to believe otherwise? ...I'll speak at your funeral.

Cumtastic: My sister Brittany (she's 9), whom I have nicknamed, chicken* and I were having a conversation on the phone and we were both making eggs. Me: Hey Chicken, What came first: chicken or the egg? Her: Are you really asking that? Me: Well, sure. Lets discuss Her: Well, I am obviously older than these eggs.. I don't know about your's. Me: No. I mean. Chickens or Eggs? Her: Like the animal, chicken? Me: Yes. Her: Why are they related? Me: Because that's where baby chickens come from... eggs. Her: REALLY? Me: yes? Her: you're shitting me Me: Watch your mouth. No I'm not. Her: How did I go 9 years without knowing that? Me: idono Her: That sounds intelegent Me: Am I assuming that you know that hambugers come from cows? Her: uh... Baby cows come from hamburger? no they dont.... WAIT.. it's.. it's not their.... feces is it? Me: You know the word feces but you don't know where eggs or hambuger come from? Her: uh.. apparently Me: You are one of the stupidest smart kids I know. Her: Mae, that's a paradox. Me: Who are you? Reese? Her: who? Me: nevermind! Her: So.. where does hamberger come from? Me: *tells her the process* Her: that's disturbing Me: yep. almost as disturbing as dolphin eggs. Her: WAIT. I thought eggs came from birds. Me: *slaps head* Chickens are birds. Her: Oh yea. But dolphins dont have eggs.. their mammels.. they have overies Me: which are sometimes called eggs. Her: which is one why is it so disturbing? Me: indeed. Her: you need less weird friends. Me: I need a smart smart sister. Her: yea.. me too. Me: I also need to stop talking about my online life Her: You need a life-life. Me: you need a brain-brain.

SG2: ...Wait WTF... ...Did this just swing back to the original topic of crazy moments which was pretty much ignored after Lemmy's muffin story (AKA OP post)? ...This has to be the most shocking return-to-topic ever because this thread never got off ON its intended topic, has been active for months after having millions of sub-topics, one of which I think was the initial zombie-phase of Karma, turned vampire, turned...everything else this thread was composed of... And it was MAE who did it, MAE, who usually tuns on-topic threads OFF topic...so WTF?!

Karma: IT'S MAAAAAAGIIIIIC.

SG2: But...it's scary

Karma: No it's not.

SG2: But it never happens...so it scares me when it does...and moreso...when someone CAUSES it to happen...they are a force to be reckoned with... ...And feared...

Karma: Especially when it's Mae. Haha. But it's still not scary.

Crisis: just a little odd, no?

SG2: I can't feel my legs

Lemmy: Aww, you poor kid. You're paralyzed!! *makes use of the opportunity and Runs Like Hell to escape her one and for all*

SG2: *HOOKSHOT*

Cumtastic: but you don't understand... she's 9 and she no longer looks up to me.. in fact, she treats me as an equal... how the hell did that happen? fux0n smart kids. Also, must agree with SG2 here *sorry Karma will repay later with blood* On topic-ness, especially brought on by me, the queen of random, is pretty frightening. However, if there is an crazy moment I must share it should go in this thread wither or not the current topic is on-topic or not.

SG2: ...Waitwhathuh?

Karma: I'm as lost as you are. *jacket*

Reese: YAY, I got mentioned, I'm important!

Cumtastic: no one acknowledged my moment.. so.. I continued a conversation on with myself.. hoping to get back on topic.. and it worked.. *evil laugh*

SG2: ... *even more lost* *even more...jacket*

Reese: HA! My 15 year old brother looks up to me as a genious and a role model, right before he kicks my ass for acting like an idiot, but I still win!

SG2: Yeah, but you still lose the Game.

Karma: Also I'm still awesome. AND I HAS VANILLA COKE

Reese: Nope, because I lost the game the moment I clicked on this thread and read the neme, so I'm good for like another 20 mins. Also, doesn't vanilla coke turn Karma into....

SG2: ...fuck.

Lemmy: Let us list the terms and conditions for a WereKarma transformation here so that they may be recorded and recognized for all time. Hey, I know one. This one's happened a lot: CONDITION: Lemmy walks into the same room as Karma, but without SG2 present.

Karma: Anger usually does it. I think. Or raw meat. And people trying to take my raw meat away! OLD PEOPLE.

SG2: For some reason that one made me laugh out loud.

Karma: OH OH OH when you try to take my food away and I still want it.

SG2: You know originally, wasn't it an involuntary transformation that I harnessed with some manner of magical wand...and used you to attack Lemmy during groupchats? I think it was somewhere around the same time as the Boost Chat.

Cumtastic: once I said "Banana" and there was an actual banana.. and it made sense in the conversation... crazy

Lemmy: YOUR TWIG BE DAMNED, SG2. DAMNED, I SAY.

Cumtastic: I met this guy and Gizette met him too.. anyway.. He reminds me of back home and Gizette thinks he's an ugly ass... but he's actually really sweet.. he just swears alot..Gizette "You would think he's beneath you, but because he's told you that your smart and beautiful constantly for the last half-hour; he gets a date and you think he's fricken incredible... you're starved for attention.. Fricken Only Child" Rallante "On the scale of 1 to me... me being the high number Obviously.. what is he?" Me "looks like 12.... Personality like 42... and I'm assuming you're 25."

SG2: Dude, my twig pwned you.

Cumtastic: Me: Why does she get all the attention? Te: Cuz she’s prettier and smarter than you. Me: Then why is she talking to you? Te: Cuz My hair is the shit. Me: *throws whole bottle of water at him and hits him with bottle over and over” Manh: God you’re violent… and now I’m wet. I don’t car if you are violent.. just let me stay out of it. Te: *throws Manh in my direction* Me: you totally ask for that. Te: yep. ……………………..Later…………………….. Me: I can’t believe you said that. Te: Yeah. Me: You’re a horrible person. Te: Yeah… wanna hug? Me: hellz yeah. Te: that has to be the BEST comeback ever. Me: Yeah. *hits in groin and walks away* Te: …. ow.

SG2: ...I still don't understand why Mae is trying to save this topic when it was doomed from the first post.

Cumtastic: I like to do my part.. be the only one off-topic in a on-topic post and on-topic in off topic posts.. Call it waht you will it's just my thing..

SG2: But this thread is special in that it is truly the most off-topic post ever spawned on IGNO, for it was never on-topic...Mae...do you hate the specialness so much that you would wish to destroy it...by becoming...on-topic...?

Cumtastic: in a simple word "yep" just because I want to be soo special to get this thing back On-Topic when it was obviously domed from the first post.

Lemmy: Considering that the first post was mine, I'm so conflicted. It would'a been nice for consequent posts to stay faithful to the topic, but at the same time what's transpired in the meantime is just so disturbingly special that it's debatable whether or not it's its own preservable "topic" of sorts. Hm. Well . . . when in doubt. *draws card from deck, it reads SG2* Welp, my fate's been decided. I agree with SG2.

SG2: Awesome. *whistles innocently to indicate that the entire deck of cards is totally not SG2 themed*