WAR WERE DECLARED
Started By: SG2
Started On: June 21, 2009
Last Post On: January 14, 2014
Total Pages: 51
Total Posts: 755
Total Views: 5,909
Before-You-Read Info: WAR WERE DECLARED (so named after this Futurama quote) is an interesting thread in that it was so popular the summer it was created that it was repeatedly revived, even after being 'retired' and moved into Ghost Town. It became something of a tradition to bring the topic back every summer and then retire it again when activity levels dropped during the fall and winter, but by the end of our time on Zetaboards it was being brought back regardless of season. WAR WERE DECLARED went on to become the most popular topic in our entire Zetaboards run, and was given a sequel when we moved to jcink.
As to the 'recent events' mentioned in the OP, this thread was made shortly after we got set up with a cbox, which routinely devolved into violence. Since random 'wars' were once a fairly common thing in the old days of IGNO, it felt nostalgic and I deemed it worthy enough to dedicate an entire topic to mindless violence.
--SG2
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"]
IMO, the topic became progressively weaker after its 2009 incarnation, but you can't argue with popularity.
[/rescue_box]
SG2: So in light of recent events, I have decided that we have (another) all-out war for the good of IGNO. Nations will be conquered and overthrown. Alliances will be formed only to later be betrayed in the interest of self-preservation (doing it for the lulz is also acceptable). Much blood will be spilled. Lives will be lost, but it's okay because we all have various Deus Ex Machinas at our disposal to reverse untimely demise. There is glory to be had, and lots of loot and shit to steal. And to the victor, the highest honors of all...winning. That and I just thought it'd be a fun way to stir up activity for us all to kick the ever loving shit out of each other. So now, as we have so many times in the past of IGNO history... LET THE WAR BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xL: [spoiler title="Spoiler: click to toggle"]DIE BITCHES DIE[/spoiler]
PWR: How does one have war on IGNO?
SG2: The better question would be how doesn't one have war on IGNO. The short answer to your question: anything goes. Find allies, decide who your enemies are, and...well, it might help if I introduced you to IGNO THE FIGHTING GAME and we created you an IGNO persona. 
*sends a PM* But for now, *tosses her a knife* you have Aibou's blood in your veins, don't you? ...or...something like that? STAB THEM!! STAB LIKE CRAZY!! 
And as for you, Mr. Terrorist... *launches rocket chainsaws at XL*
[/rescue_box]
LG: *Uses pudding wave to protect XL* Hey ya'll! We can't kill yet I don't know what the war is about!
PWR: Aww, look, LG's protecting his lover~ 
-Walks up to LG and stabs him.- HAHA!~ Victory is minee!
LG: It's okay it's night time so I'm a zombie and only one thing can kill me right now....
Bradios: LG have u and xL made an alliance of sorts?
LG: NO IT'S CALLED LOVE and also someone you wouldn't think of *hugz that person*
xL: *Throws toast at SG2* THAT'S THE POWER OF TOAST, BABY.
Mr. Bones: *drives his pirate ship over LG*
SG2: LG and XL are the new Corey and Andrew. Only not as fun because they're not in denial. Also XL MUST PERISH FOR THE RAINBOW TO FLOURISH!! *homing rocket chainsaws* Oh, and we don't need a reason to go to war because 
Bradios: *Arrives on the scene on his Super ATV next to Mr. Bones with a army of cyborg warriors to help take down the zombie master of pudding and the Toasty terrorist*
LG: *eats Bradios' brain* HAHAHAHA
Mr. Bones: *turns the ship around and aims it at bradios* I AM NOT BEINNG HELPED BY A GNOME SYMPATHIZER
xL: *shoots copies of Dragonball Evolution at SG2* HELL YEAH!!!
PWR: -stabs someone.- 
LG: YAY MY OTHER ALLY! *eats Bones brains*
Bradios: *quickly flies back to bradios' banks to repair the damage*
PWR: -blows up Bradios' banks.-
SG2: OH NO YOU DIDN'T, XL. I'll just give those copies to Bradios!! He's on my side...I think... Wait, who needs sides? *LAUNCHES CHAINSAWS IN EVERY DIRECTION IN A SPINNING HELLFIRE OF FIERY FIRE AND DOOM*
xL: *sends a crashing plane toward SG2, Bradios, and Mr. Bones*
LG: *uses pudding to protect PWRLVLOVER9000, xl, and self*
Bradios: *Quickly Grabs the chainsaws and throws them towards the plane* Thx for the copies of DB:E SG2, and Yes i am on your side
PWR: -Unleashes a cliche Japanese Ringu looking ghost to defile Bradios.-
xL: Thanks , LG.
LG: *Uses a fireball on Bradios* GOD DAMN IT XL FIGHT!
Bradios: *Has seen the old Japanese ring movies and is not affected* Eh, its not scary anymore. *Attacks xL with a Jackhammer Assault*
xL: *takes a shit and throws poo at SG2 and Bradios* TAKE THAT. 
Bradios: *Absorbs Poop and And converts it to a Nitro Thunder Attack*
Mr. Bones: *steers the ship away from the crashing plane and removes LG from the decoy bones*
PWR: -Sticks an Umbrella in Bradio's butthole and opens.-
LG: *Uses a fireball on bones* GOD DAMN IT WHAT IS THE WAR ABOUT!?!?!?!?!
Bradios: *Gets the umbrella out and upgrades his lasers and fires at xL and LG* BACK ME UP HERE GUYS!
SG2: I think I should have thought this through more. This is more like a battle royale than a war... 
*ARMS THE LASER-GUIDED GRID OF CHAINSAWS OF THE DEATHTIGER*
Bradios: *gets out of the way of the chainsaws*
PWR: -Quickly cooks up two gigantic pancake monsters and commands them to jump before Bradio's laser in order to protect LG and XL- -Tackles Bradio and draws cute little smiley faces all over his cheeks.-
Bradios: *Blows PWRLVL 1,000 miles away and escapes to rejoin the fight against xL and LG*
LG: *takes all of Bradios's gadgets and sends him flying over 9000 miles away then rushes on my motorbike to pick up PWRLVLOVER9000*
SG2: I can't help but feel ignored here. *EXPLOSIONS*
Sage: LET THE BLOOD FLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bradios: DECOYS!!!! ALL OF THEM! I STILL HAVE THE REAL ONES! AND I WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHERE THEY ARE! *Attacks xL with a basic stranglehold which makes him faint*
xL: I think this battle royale is missing a certain guy with a beard......
PWR: -Hops onto LG's motobike and sends crows to poop all over SG2 and Bradios.. only their poop comes out in the form of razorbladez.-
Bradios: *Sends Hyper Plasma Shields in the area of SG2 then self*
SG2: BIRDS THAT EXCRETE RAZORBLADE FECES?! DAMN, THAT'S CREATIVE!! CURSE YOU, NEW AIBOU!! *leaps into the shadows to formulate a new plan*
LG: HOLY SHIT! YOUR BIRD POOPS RAZORBLADES!!! THAT CRAZY!
Mr. Bones: *beams up to the uss enterprise ncc1701 and then sets it to autopilot at warp 9 at the forcefield around bradios and sg2 before beaming the crew and myself to the endoplasmic reticulum* OMG I NOW HAS WILLIAM SHATNER ON MY SIDE
xL: I WILL NOW SHOW YOU THE SIMPLEST WAY TO KILL SOMEONE. *shoots Bradios and SG2 with a bazooka*
SG2: Wahahahahaha!! *launches Chainsaw Missiles from the safety of the ship to rain down on LG, XL and PWRLVL below*
xL: Hmm....what effectively kills a rampaging tiger?
Mr. Bones: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*launches Chainsaw Missiles from the safety of the ship to rain down on LG, XL and PWRLVL below*[/otw_shortcode_quote] i guess i beamed you up but as i stated before I AM NOT ALLIED WITH GNOME SYMPATHIZERS so i guess bradios is getting crushed in warp speed *gives the order for the crew to open fire EVERYWHERE*
SG2: I don't mind killing Bradios. *launches missiles* Oh and to answer XL's question... ... NOTHING. Taste the flames!! They taste like pizza apparently.
xL: *gets a knife* I'M GONNA SKIN SG2 ALIVE.
SG2: I'm in a giant fucking mech frame aboard the USS Enterprise. Good luck getting close enough to my flesh to shred it off me, bitch.
Mr. Bones: actually you're on the endoplasmic reticulum the enterprise crushed bradios hours ago.
PWR: -Mounts a bazooka and shoots dead babies toward SG2.- I will command a legion of razorblade shitting crows. 
Bradios: *is rebuilt by his Mech Drone* WHAT THE HELL BONES?!! DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS GONNA KILL ME?!
SG2: Great, one of them commands a legion of evil bloodthirsty bunnies, and the other commands crows that shit...anything she wants them to... THE AIBOUS MUST NEVER BE ALLOWED TO UNITE *launches all chainsaw-based artillery*
PWR: -Commands the crows to shit out 18 Wheeler trucks over SG2.-
SG2: OWFUCK *collapse* C-curse...you...New...Aibou...
PWR: VICTORY! -Drags SG2 to a well and drops her in.- Now I'll make a videotape about you, haha~
Mr. Bones: bradios yes i did. thats the point of war. killing people
Bradios: *Grabs SG2 from the well And Gives healing pepsi* THE NON-BELIEVER MUST DIE! *Grabs PWR by the throat and begins choking said Non-Believer*
PWR: -Dissolves into water, reappears behind Bradios and force feeds him Skittles.- Here, now you can taste the rainbow all you want!
Bradios: Fool! Because you fed me skittles which means BY THE POWER OF THE RAINBOW! *All of bradios' attacks now are doubled* I HAVE THE POWAH! *Runs up and Bitch Slaps then Super Grenade Assaults her*
PWR: IDIOT! That was only a decoy! -Commands the crows to shit laser beams out of their asses, targeting Bradios.- I KILL JUU!
Mr. Bones: *slaps bradios with a bit of smelly trout for almost getting into one sidedness* *sets pwr in the path of THOMAS THE RAPETRAIN*
Bradios: *Absorbs Laser Beams and sends Suicide Androids to kill her*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Commands the crows to shit laser beams out of their asses[/otw_shortcode_quote] *is revived by the sheer power of lolwut*
PWR: -Reprograms the andriods to go after their own creator.- Rapetrain? Shit.. -Shoves Bones into a huge ass tank with Mobey Dick.- Devour him, Mobey!
Mr. Bones: *climbs through the secret somehow watertight hatch on the bottom of the endoplasmic reticulum* *farts on pwr and sails away*
Bradios: *Sends the androids into a cube dimension* Now to die! *Uses a entrapment device to leave her suspended in the air* GET HER NOW BONES!
PWR: -Teleports and smashes Bradios in the head with an electric guitar.- Just like FLCL xD -Aims and shoots a hookshot at Bones' ass.- I've got you, hoe. (Sleepy now.. and I got no allies! So not far. xD)
Hamel: *Roasts the crows to be roasted chicken* Yum
SG2: I still have some fried chichen from earlier when Mr. Chichen was here. Anyone? *offers* (Bed for me too...man, having flashbacks to last year when IGNO was epic like this every night, I'm excited now )
[/rescue_box]
PWR: -Pours water on Hamel and curb stomps him.- Goodnight guys! Nice meeting everyone~
[/rescue_box]
Mr. Bones: i'll take the chichen does anyone have woadymelons? also night for me. work in the morning
LG: ......FUCK I MISSED A FIGHT!!!!! *shoots fire at everyone except PWR and XL* HAHAHA...
Mr. Bones: *ducks behind xL*
SG2: *teleports away from the scene to survey the fight from afar* Oh, yeah, I can teleport.
Bradios: *Absorbs the lasers fired in his direction and turns it into pure energy and Then tells alpha 5 to bring him Chuck Norris, Jet Li, Stephen Segal, Triple H and Bruce Cambel*
PWR: -Obliterates Bradios' forces.- 8D
SG2: Fuck, you guys. She's too powerful. 
Hamel: There has to be a way to stop her! Don't give up just yet!! *throws a match infused hairspray can at her*
Bradios: Wait, if she is Aibou's twin then.... she must have the same weaknesses as her!!! *Grabs a piece of tin foil and sticks it in front of the sun next to PWR*
SG2: ...wait, I don't see how that's Aibou's weakness 
We need a diamond filled with chocolate. Dammit, where is Russell when you need him?!
PWR: No one can stop ze Aibous DX -Commands the crows to piss acid over all of the opposing forces.-
Bradios: *SUMMONS FORCE FIELD AND DEFLECTS ACID PISS*
PWR: Oh noez! I'm outnumbered. DDD: -hops onto magical, floating pancake (think Aladin xD) and zooms away to safety.-
Crisis: uummmmmmm. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
SG2: Oh come on, Other Alex, you were a prominent member in the days when IGNO was much crazier than this...you can't just WTF so easily. Now where is that fucking chocolate-filled diamond?!
Hamel: What does a chocolate filled diamond look like? *uses fire to evaporate acid piss and let's it float to the air in a cloud floating towards PWR*
Bradios: *pulls out a Chocolate Filled Diamond from his inventory* Here you go, SG2 *Gives SG2 The Chocolate Filled Diamond*
SG2: What th...where did you get that?
Bradios: Barrack Obama Gave Me It!
xL: How the hell did you see Obama? You live in Australia. *throws burnt toast at Bradios*
SG2: Bradios fails for lack of creativity. *throws the imitation diamond at his head* Anyone got a real one?
xL: Maybe PWR can get her birds to shit out one for you.
SG2: ... Methinks XL just totally missed the point.
Hamel: If i knew what they looked like... I could try and find one or have... one made with my resources
LG: *eats Bradios's hamels brain* ZOMBIE IS BACK!
SG2: It's a diamond with a hollowed-out hole inside of it, full of a rich, chocolatey center. It is essential to defeating The Aibous. Even though the original Aibou has not yet taken part in this war despite me sending her several desperate texts.
Crisis: *sigh* well, since the current combatants aren't gonna trigger the paradoxalypse (or however the hell you spell it)... *pulls out the single largest chocolate filled diamond in exsistance* I was saving this in case teh Aibous stole anything of mine
SG2: Well you're not on very often anymore, so keep it with me for now. As soon as one of those pesky Aibous rears her ugly head, I'll be ready. *pays Other Alex for his services*
Crisis: b-b-but how will i buy back my lovely mechs if they get stolen? Do you have any idea how hard it is to MAKE one of those? Dividing by 0 is only the first step.
SG2: Well then fine, you hold onto it. *toss* This just means you're going to have to start coming on more often. And wait a minute...you have more than one mech?!
Hamel: So, I can get my resources to make some.... And LG... O.o;;; Sorry, but my flame body does not harness a brain.
Crisis: @SG2-> DUH!! Some times flight and firepower whats needed, and sometimes you need mammoth amounts of good old fashoin armor plating. It's kinda like choosing what you wanna wear in the morning...shortly before things begin to explode in epic proportions. @Hamel-> we noticed But don't worry, we still love you
SG2: Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess. And by princess I mean the man in the giant yellow robot. Anyways, let's not argue among ourselves...our enemies are the Aibous...and XL and LG, I suppose. Though we could probably bribe the original Aibou onto our side with lots of non-paradox inducing shinies and chocolates. Can I get someone on that?
Crisis: the blood kaiser would have the best luck, but we'd have less than even odds of Her Imperial Grace to even attempt such an undertaking. EDIT- the robot is only yellow cause the paint was on sale. the whole menacing red with white trim over black was expensive in the extreme
SG2: Not to mention her epic hiatus...hopefully IGNO'll get active again thanks to our new members and shit like this to bring back the nostalgia of the good ol' days, and she'll return to us. Until then, we have a fake Aibou to defeat.
Mr. Bones: would the ruler of the world be a good replacement to the absent kaiser?
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] Hmm, this may be where we turned the whole 'ruler of the world' thing into 'new ruler of IGNOLand.[/rescue_box]
PWR: FAKE?! DDDX I will kill jew! -Teleports behind SG2 by means of Cancer Transmission and stabs her with a razor sharp chopstick.- DIE!
SG2: Government-wise, yes. In the hearts and souls of her beloved subjects? Sadly, there is no such thing as a replacement. [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]I will kill jew![/otw_shortcode_quote] I CALL ANTI-SEMITISM AND INVOLVING AN INNOCENT CIVILIAN IN THIS BATTLE. TO THE COURTROOM!!
PWR: YOU AIN'T INNOCENT! DDDX
SG2: At least I didn't kill any uninvolved jews!! HITLER!!
Mr. Bones: I'll allow it
PWR: I didn't kill any jews DDDD: well.. no, he was latin. I HAVE NOT COMMITTED A CRIME.. YET! -Scissor slaps SG2.- teehee!
SG2: OWFUCK
Crisis: >,> well, time to finish this once and for all *divides by zero*
PWR: -Bakes an army of f00dz (that's what the monsters are called ^^) to drag SG2 towards her.- HAHA!
Mr. Bones: *throws red matter into vortex of nothingness caused by dividing by zero to create a singularity resulting in a black hole* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh shi-
SG2: *is swept away into the vortex* AVENGE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE------
PWR: O____O -blinks.- Did SG2... just die?
SG2: *a voice echoes through the spiraling vortex of doom* ((No, I'm still alive...I'm kinda immortal, remember...but, uh...I'm also kinda...trapped in here...and it's really boring.................... ..................so, um...halp plz))
PWR: Ramen D00M~ -Turns her hair into monster-sized Ramen n00ldez. Her hair forms into the shape of a hand, reaches into the vortex to grab SG2, and plops her down on the ground.-
SG2: OMG, PWR saved me!! ...wait...PWR saved me... ...that's like coming right out and saying 'no, I can't lose you yet, I am the one who must kill you'... ... *RUNSLIKEHELL*
Bradios: *Repairs self with portable repair/upgrade kit*
PWR: SG2.. are you trying to run from me? NO ONE RUNZ FROM ZE PWR! 
-Uses her Ramen hair to lasso SG2.- I SAID YOUR SOUL IS MIEN!
SG2: WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!!!!!!!!!!! 
*digs her claws into the ground as she is dragged off mercilessly into the darkness*
Mr. Bones: lol a singularity = a black hole. we are all in the black hole lol. *uses lightning tether to save sg2* GET OVER HERE!
Bradios: *Comes back next to Mr. Bones and starts listening to INXS* WAT UP?!
Mr. Bones: *judo throws bradios for sneaking up on him*
Bradios: *Gets up and spits out a mixture of oil and blood* WHAT THE HELL BONES?! YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME! I COME NEXT TO YOU! AND YES I KNOW YOU DON'T WORK WITH GNOME SYMPATHIZERS BUT SRSLY YOU GOTTA LEARN TO WORK WITH ME GNOME SYMPATHIZER OR NOT!
Crisis: >,> <,< hrmm... *tosses the terribible to SG2* USE IT NAO!!
Mr. Bones: that time was for sneaking up on me. i don't react well to being snuck up on also i still don't work with gnome sympathizers. i haven't worked with xL or LG yet either
PWR: -Shanks SG2 with a chopstick.- Don't make me take out the spatulas and ladels
SG2: *is tethered back to John Scorpion-style as they all spiral inside the black hole, and manages to catch the Terri-Bible Other Alex tosses her way* Got it!! No one is gonna fucking ladle my ass!! *opens the book of unholy evil and epic typos* HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SUMMON FORTH...A SERIES OF TYPOS LEMMY HAS TEXTED ME!!!!!!!!! [spoiler title="typos"]03/01/09
11:39 PM
From: Lemmy
Fishums
03/10/09
11:24 PM
From: Lemmy
Gapsttanrt
03/12/09
10:23 PM
From: Lemmy
Twicab
03/25/09
11:28 PM
From: Lemmy
Hoomahraineeah!!
04/06/09
5:41 PM
From: Lemmy
Betaks
04/06/09
5:42 PM
From: Lemmy
Ketcka!
04/06/09
5:51 PM
From: Lemmy
I think think we need tidesali and the midwn...
04/27/09
8:09 PM
From: Lemmy
I solowe!
05/02/09
12:28 PM
From: Lemmy
I inte![/spoiler]
Yes those are all legit Lemmy typos that come from him texting with Dictionary Mode (T9, Prediction Mode, whatever your phone calls it) and not paying attention to his screen before hitting 'send'. And that's just March-May scanning my logs. There's more where those came from for anyone who dares to fuck with the tiger!! I HOLD THE BOOK!! THE POWER IS MINE!!
Mr. Bones: oops i forgot to untether you *untethers sg2 and tosses her a FULL RESTORE* sorry about that
PWR: lmfao, fishums? XDDD
Bradios: .... cooooollll... *Fires rapidly in random directons*
SG2: My thoughts exactly. *drinks FULL RESTORE and is returned to being FIGHTING FIT* Now none of you stand a chance against my SUPER EFFECTIVE attacks!! *launches a barrage of chainsawfire at Bradios, shattering his spiked shoulder...pad...thing* Hey, man, what is that thing, anyways?
Bradios: My dear SG2, These allow me to..uhhhh....WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY DO?!!!!
Captain Chichen: *a dimensional rift opens and Captain Chichen steps out* *burp* Ah, Man... Can't believe I ate the whole thing. *See's Bradios with broken shoulder thing and SG2 with empty bottle* Aww man. You guys started drinking without me again? DAMN IT ALL!!! BRB *steps back into dimensioanl rifts*
SG2: Oh, sorry Nick, how rude of me... *smashes the bottle on the edge of a table and approaches him slowly, only for the dimensional rift to close just as she steps in...with one foot caught inside* ...F-fuck, now I'm stuck... *struggles*
Bradios: *pulls SG2 out by the sheer power of being drunk*
Captain Chichen: Damn it! I was gonna keep that tiger foot as a souvenir... was gonna have it stuffed and placed on a plaque above my fireplace and tell my children of the great battle at IGNO when i had valiantly cut it off... without mentioning the fact that i was completely safe behind a dimensional rift of course. LOL. *sigh* Oh well. I've got a better idea. *Runs down the dimensional path way*
SG2: Hey, get back here, coward!! *foolishly runs right back inside the dimensional rift and chases him down the hallway* (Also, weren't we still inside a black hole, or did my summoning of the Terri-Bible break that? Because otherwise a dimensional rift opening inside a black hole is like dividing by zero, which would only make another black hole open up...it's not quite paradox, but it's something that's seriously freaking me out to think about 
)
Captain Chichen: *somehow, another portal door shuts before SG2 leaving CC alone to do as he will in other dimensions* *The portal opens once again, and again CC steps forth from the portal. But he's not alone. With him is SG2..... The CHICHEN VERSION from a parallel dimension where SG2 was created in the vision of the sacred Chichen and Tigers were its sworn enemy!* I'M BACK!! *with that said SG2(Chichen version)... or SGC for short... pulls forth an aerosol spray can and a lit match, unleashing a Firery spreading death across all of the IGNO blackhole. Flames rush everywhere.* *as the flames die down leaving only cinders of everything that had made up igno land... and the blackhole, somehow feeling it was being ignored by this rather odd plot twist concerning rifts and dimensions, decides to leave and suck some other helpless world into oblivion. Captain CHICHEN laughs* HA HA.......HA. Well... that wasn't too hard.
SG2: ...this... Goes even beyond dividing by zero... ...you...you stole my DNA and took it to a parallel dimension where you crossbred it with chichen genes and raised it to hate tigers...I...I-I... ...you have created an abomination of God. IT MUST BE DESTROYED!! *picks up a rusted chainsaw from the ruins all around her, engulfed in flame, and charges at SGC*
Bradios: MAY I HELP WITH SAID DESTROYING?
xL: THAT MAKES NO SENSE
SG2: Actually it does. And knock yourself out.
Bradios: YAAAAAAAY!!!! THANKS SG2! *Fires 1,000 grenades at the SGC Freak of nature*
Hamel: *Coming back from wherever* wait what did I miss???
SG2: 
Hamel: O.o;;; *drinks a can of lighter fuel*
SG2: Y-y-you might want to go back a page and catch up on what happened so you know who to aim that impending firebreath at 
Hamel: Huh? Oh, okay, I was just thirsty though ^^;; *goes back to read*
SG2: LOL I was afraid I'd be double-fried to a crisp for a second there. Speaking of... *CHARGES AT THE ABOMINATION WITH A HOSE OF HOT OIL AND AN EMPTY KFC BUCKET* I'M ABOUT TO FLASH-FRY YOUR ASS!!
PWR: -Lands on Hamel's head.- Hii guys!
Hamel: Flash fry... wait not me?!?!?! I'm not a Gnome Sympathizer!!!! Hey PWR
Mr. Bones: *jumps on pwr's head* we are now a totum pole *poops on pwr's head and then jumps off* *snickers*
PWR: Why.. you little.. -Blows a whistle.- Crows, devour him! -A legion of crows rains over Bones and pecks him to death.- MWUAHAHA!
Hamel: *jumps out from under PWR* Ew! That was uncalled for! It could have gotten on me T.T What did I do to deserve that? Lord over the lands?
SG2: Lulz And no Hamel, I mean the abomination over there, the SG2 made by splicing my genes with chichen DNA...the SGC. I say we all team up to destroy it. I'm getting pretty hungry, and a bucket of hot wings is sounding pretty good about nao.
Hamel: *Blows out firebreath to make friend chicken*
Bradios: maybe if i kill it i could deep fry it and eat it!
PWR: -Takes a shower.- Bones, you are a nasty little PENIS.
Mr. Bones: silly pwr. i am a skeleton. a skeleton with layers upon layers of bone exoskeleton and internal organs made of parts from bone ligament and cartilage. no meat to feast on whatsoever. all the crows are doing are making tons of annoying noises (well annoying to some, i find it soothing like a percussion karate chop massage thing) so i must say thank you for the crow pecking flock that i will now use as a weapon against everyone. also now you know what it feels like to be pooped on, see the irony. * walks toward lg with violent crows swarming around him*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*Blows out firebreath to make friend chicken*[/otw_shortcode_quote] Friend chicken?! We don't want to be friends with it, we want to eat it!! (being picked on for typos on IGNO...it happens. A lot. Be thankful you're not Lemmy or Russell.)
Hamel: WHOOPS!!! Typo! I meant FRIED chicken, because we're hungry!!! *stomach growls*
PWR: -Commands the crows to explode around Bones.- Haha, suicide bomber crows, bitch! I d35stroy3d juu!
PWR: friend chicken, how cute~ <333 EDIT: OHFUCK I DOUBLE POSTED! DDDX -FAILZ.-
SG2: So I just have to say, I'm pleased at the epicness this thread has shown so far. Not since ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH has Zeta IGNO seen such levels of win if I do say so myself. Also PWR's sig is making me want pancakes so fucking bad. And I'm not even a pancake person. I prefer teh wafflez. I know chicken and waffles is a total ebonic stereotype. So, maybe...chichen and pancakez? Who's hungry? *gets out fork and knife and approaches the SGC that is somehow still standing*
Hamel: Well... I wouldn't say it's stereotype. I mean, I know a lot of people that LOVE chicken and waffles that are totally different. *looks over* *droll* I want some chicken now though...
PWR: O___O WAFFLEZ MUST DIE! -stabs someone.- HAHA~
SG2: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PANCAKES PWR
PWR: -Passes SG2 a giant plate filled with giant pancakes.- There you gooo~
Hamel: Careful... I smell poison... rat poison...
SG2: ... ... *pokes them cautiously with the fork*
Hamel: I'd feed it to a dwarf first... and see if they die....
PWR: Ohh! Feed it to Hamel! I hope the same effect takes place.. teehee. -Observes patiently.-
Mr. Bones: *fashions the crow bones as well as the ribs and hand bones of fallen enemies into a BONE CROWN and puts it on over his pirate hat to form a BONE CROWN PIRATE HAT* like this except more badass and more bone variety
*escapes the black hole in a super secret fashion and sits on the throne in his palace in the capital of the world the Boneyard to watch you all fight to the death or near death in sg2's case*
Bradios: *finally escapes through the same portal as Bones as "New Divide" begins playing as he begins attacking the rising epidemic of Chicken warriors*
Mr. Bones: 1 i didnt escape through a portal. nor did i mention any portal 2 i used warp drive on my internet pirate ship to escape so i was gone before you notice i was leaving. 3 captain chichen uses portals to exit and enter the black hole. so you didn't follow me you just escaped via your own means. not to rain on your parade i was gonna wait until someone asked HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET OUT before i told anyone how i escaped but i assure you i was alone or my scanners would have picked up some unauthorized presence on or around the ship and would have opened fire. sorry to rain on your parade but i would have ruined it for anyone who assumed they could follow me. i do hold tight security i am the ruler of the world and i must make sure no one follows me so as to prevent assassination attempts *still watches the fight to the death from his throne and wonders how bradios developed portal forming technology to escape the black hole*
SG2: Bradios needs to pay more attention instead of just randomly attacking and following everyone and everything. That being said John should pay more attention too as Nick destroyed the black hole when he created the SGC...though I guess it could be argued that move was close enough to dividing by zero that it created another black hole in the same place and we were all inside of it but whatever, he is excused. Bradios however is not, though I don't know how well this will work on a cyborg, let's see if whatever PWR did affects his human digestive system *loads the pancakes into a cannon and, with careful, sniper precision from a safe distance, fires them down Bradios' throat* (Yes, precision with a cannon. It is unique to myself.)
Hamel: my nonexistent fiery brain hurts 
PWR: -Sits back and watches.- Ohh, maybe I should click the button and watch him explode, SG2?! Teehee~
SG2: Doooooooooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
PWR: HAR HAR HAR! -Clicks.- Let's watch Bradios explode.
SG2: *grabs an umbrella, preparing for a shower of human limbs and mechanical parts*
Bradios: *looks at his watch while mocking PWR*
SG2: Bradios, I already see where you're going with this. You're not Kira. Give it up. 
PWR: -Unfolds a lawn chair, puts up a huge beach umbrella, and takes out her Cute Kitty camcorder (sp?)- Any second now.
SG2: ...Maybe L caught him 
Mr. Bones: *waits for explosion* pwr did you wire the explosives properly?
SG2: I think Bradios is just too afraid to post because he knows he's beat here. He ate explosives...there's no way he can get out of it now. He is going to explode, one way or another. Whether he survives/is rebuilt after the fact is another issue entirely.
Sage: kitty lazer to help PWRLVLOVER9000
SG2: Sajid...what the fuck is that from?! That is epic
Sage: its from a anime that is not on you tube i think its called happy go lazer kitty go or somthing like that if there a anime list for shows i could find it
SG2: *steals it* I'm officially adding the Kitten Laser to my weapons arsenal. *ninja vanish* 
Sage: sorry but that only for me to use as i see fit (your steal fails)
SG2: Nope, you're too late. If you want it back, you'll have to catch me and take it back by force!! *leaps through the mountain ranges of Cumtastic Cliff*
Sage: fine (locks on to your energy and telports alll around you)
Mr. Bones: BY ROYAL DECREE I DECLARE THAT SINCE IT HAS BEEN POSTED ON THE INTERNET THE KITTY LASER IS OFFICIALLY ABLE TO BE USED BY EVERYONE I AM YOUR PSYCHOTIC TYRANT BENEVOLENT RULER BOW DOW TO THE AWESOME POWER OF MY IRON FIST FLUFFY HUGS OR I WILL DESTROY YOU SHOWER YOU WITH LOVE AND GIFTS! REMEMBER MR. BONES IS WATCHING YOU ALSO MY CASTLE IS HAVING A DEDICATION CEREMONY SOON. IT WILL BE DEDICATED TO MY 2 BIGGEST INFLUENCES OF MY LEADERSHIP: The Kaiser Karma and SG2. BE THERE OR BE VIOLENTLY EXECUTED SHOWERED WITH LOVE
SG2: *fires the kitty laser at Sajid with a menacing grin on her face after the new leader's decree* Also John I'm working on making a crown for your sprite portrait and your sig shall be edited accordingly.
Mr. Bones: excellent. upon completion i shall appoint you to a cushy government position with a lot of power and very little oversight by anyone but me (and i normally will allow it).
Sage: (laughs grab the lazer and makes a rope out of it)
SG2: YOU ASSHOLE!! THAT WAS AN INNOCENT KITTEN FIRST, AND AN ALL-POWERFUL WEAPON SECOND!!! May I have official government permission to crucify him now?!
Mr. Bones: yes you may. i have taken the liberty of giving you hot towels to wrap around his wrists and ankles to increase circulation and have taken the nails out of the freezer so that no heat friction cauterizes the wound
Sage: (laughs) its a part of me (its goes back to the kitty form) and it obays me only (pets the kitty and as it competlly eanters my body and runs of and rips off gohan from dbz head off when he was still a cry baby)
SG2: Well I don't give a shit about Gohan, being that he's a fictional character and he'll survive, but that fucking kitten is mine. I have been given official permission from the ruler of the world to crucify you. Prepare yourself for the next life. GET OVER HERE!! *launches the hookshot and drags Sajid over, swinging him around a few times and ramming him into a wall for good measure before hanging his limp body up upon a large wooden cross* Now, let's hear how loud you scream... *fires the nails out of a nail gun, 3 for each hand, 2 for each foot, and several into the face and torso (and of course, crotch) regions just for kicks* The kitten belongs to me nao. *holds out a treat and it comes to her purring* 
Bradios: Mr. Bones, i give you only the finest in weed, it has been burnt under the most gracious of blue flames in the cleanest beaker known to man, it has been wrapped within fine smokeable material made only for your royal body *gives the holy weed to King Bones*
Sage: (throws taco bombs at every one)
SG2: OWFUCK *dodges the blasts* Nooo, the indigestion...!! *leaps up higher on the cliffs, out of the bombs' range* Now then. *formulates her next attack*
Sage: (thows energy tacos bombs with bressal spouts on them)
LG: PUDDING WAVE *hits Fallenangel* HAHAHAHA NO ONE REMEMBERS ME!
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] FallenAngel was Sajid's new username on ZetaBoards, as opposed to his original SageOfYuri/Yaoi - he is referred to as Sage in all official material for consistency's sake, and also, because I think Sage is a much better character name than Fallen.[/rescue_box]
Sage: i do (try and bits your head off)
SG2: Actually LG a few pages ago John did something to you...I forget what, but I remember being like 'lulz, and he's not even here to defend himself'. *teleports away so she can view the fight from a safe distance*
Sage: (leaves the battle ground)
Bradios: *Reloads his laser* I still remember you *fires grenades and ultra stun lasers at LG*
SG2: WTF? Goddammit, stalemates are no fun at all. *sits down outside Cumtastic Cave and pouts*
LG: *uses the light kamehameha which blinds Bradios* FUCK YOU!
PWR: -Clicks the button again.- o____O OHH, THE BUTTON WAS STUCK! KEKEKE! -BRADIOS EXPLODEZ- I am satisfied.
LG: OMG I LOVE MY ALLY!! *hugz*
xL: Lets go out in style. *puts on a suicide bomb* *runs toward SG2*
Hamel: Limbs? <.<;;; >.>;;;; *takes an arm*
Bradios: *rebuilt via mecha drone* PWR!!~!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT WE HAD A TRUCE?!!!!!
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Lets go out in style. *puts on a suicide bomb* *runs toward SG2*[/otw_shortcode_quote] ...THE FUCK, MAN?! *dives out of the way in the nick of time, leaving XL to crash into the cliffside wall cartoon-style...only...with a lot more exploding body parts flying in all directions*
LG: Dang XL is now like 8 places at once
Bradios: *Snaps LG's neck and decapitates it*
SG2: Lulz, Bradios, decapitate = literally to remove the head. One cannot decapitate someone's neck, epic fail.
Bradios: you CAN decapitate a neck, its the same way as you decapitate a head only an extra piece! I CALL IT MY TROPHY!
SG2: Bradios needs to lrn2dictionary. The act of decapitation is the act of removing a head. Therefore decapitation cannot be performed on a neck. You can remove the head from the neck. That's not decapitating the neck, that's severing the neck and decapitating the head. Even at that, to say you've decapitated a head is redundant liek whoa. Bradios, your fail is epic. That being said, *tosses the Chainsaw Grenades in all directions around Bradios from her hidden locale*
Bradios: *Eats grenades and spits them in the direction of the sun*
Mr. Bones: *is pleased by the gifts received and by the massive amounts of violence* i have decided to rejoin combat *puts bleach in bradios' oil, reanimates xL only to smash his head in with a sledgehammer made of cheese, duct tapes lg to a wall directly in the path of thomas the rapetrain, retrains all of pwr's crows to swarm on her and lights them on fire, drops the crucified fallenangel in boiling oil and finally sticks gum mixed with gorilla glue and mighty putty in all of sg2's fur* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MULTITASKING FTW!
SG2: ...WTF man? I thought I was your second in command now!! Uncool 
*sulks away to the Mermaid Beach to wash all the sticky substances from her fur...and totally waits for that to be taken out of context*
Hamel: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MULTITASKING FTW![/otw_shortcode_quote] Multi Tasking is always awesome! But... I wanted to light them on fire... T.T the crows.... [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]washes all the sticky substance from her fur[/otw_shortcode_quote] O.O!!!! what KIND of sticky substance!? >.o LMAO
Bradios: *Is pleased by the bleach in his oil as it helps it flow*
Mr. Bones: bleach breaks down oil and causes it to stop lubricating and makes it more sticky like glue. if you really hate someone put bleach in their oil tank. the engine wont last another 10 miles oh and i forgot hamel *ties up hamel and sticks him upside down and locks him in a tank filled with hydrochloric acid* MY ULTIMATE ATTACK ON EVERYONE IS COMPLETE
PWR: Bradios, we do have a truce. And I'm glad you came back to life. We agreed not to hurt each other.. But I never said I wouldn't kill you. -shoots poison tipped chopsticks towards Bradios' direction.- kekeke! AND STAY AWAY FROM MY BOIFRAN PLZ
[/rescue_box]
LG: HELLZ YES PWR!!!!!! *shoots a fireball at bones*
Hamel: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]oh and i forgot hamel *ties up hamel and sticks him upside down and locks him in a tank filled with hydrochloric acid* MY ULTIMATE ATTACK ON EVERYONE IS COMPLETE[/otw_shortcode_quote] and here I thought I was spared for a reason... I WAS going to submit loyalty to you....
SG2: Poor Hamel 
Well at least my punishment was the most lenient. *returns to John's side with clean fur and a bucket full of fish* For you, my liege. we could cook them and have an epic feast, or just like...light them on fire and throw them at people or something. Either way, I thought we could find some use for a bucket full of fish. *hands it to him*
Bradios: OH SHI-- *drains oil and then replaces with ultra super mega death™ oil and begins firing in the area's of the enemy*
LG: YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO END THIS BATTLE!!!!!!!! *throws PWR far away so she cant get hurt* /0
PWR: Aww. -Is thrown away.- O____O owww.
Mr. Bones: HAMEL I DID THIS OUT OF BOREDOM. ALTHOUGH I WAS ENTERTAINED BY THE WAR WERE BEING DECLARED (wow that was an awkward phrase) I WAS BORED IN MY NON PARTICIPATION TO THE POINT WHERE I ATTACKED EVEN MY SECOND IN COMMAND. if you hadn't pointed out that you were spared i would have eventually noticed and made up for it in a more creative and less flesh melting fire dousing way. think if i did this while you weren't my enemy imagine what i would have done to my enemies. I mean my city is constructed with the bones of my enemies as the spoils of war. and the city was made before i ruled the world. makes you think doesn't it
SG2: LG hasn't been paying attention...we already did the whole divide by zero thing like twice now, it has only made things more black hole-y, not ended anything. *rewinds time to before LG divided by zero again*
LG: Well at least this is before I threw my love PUDDING WAVE *hits Bradios and sg2*
Hamel: it does make me think... though now that I think about it... FIRE HAS NO EFFECT ON ME! ^__^ since I am made of fire... and shadowy goodness. Wait? O.o? I'm an enemy??
Bradios: *Digests pudding and pukes it on LG*
Mr. Bones: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Well at least this is before I through my love
this is before I through my love
before I through my love
through my love
through[/otw_shortcode_quote]
this is just as bad as mixing your up with you're or mixing up there their and they're the word you are looking for is threw
LG: I'm sorry bones nobodys perfect IDEA GO POKEBALL *hannah montana pops out and starts singing her evil songs*
Bradios: OMFG! ITS SATAN! *Stabs Hannah Montanna and proceeds to force feed the corpse to LG while saying things to insult him and make him cry*
SG2: Wait, Hannah Montana is a Pokemon/Pokemanz? But the more important question is, why did LG capture her? I think we've found a closet fan, guise. *shoots LG in the foot for liking Hannah*
Hamel: That's as bad as having HSM posters in your room, or even just a pen of it.
LG: I love dead popstar thanks and btw insults dont hurt me.... And yes I am a fan of her and HSM HAHAHAHA
Mr. Bones: *thinks miley cyrus is really hot*
PWR: BITCHZ -uses crows to protect LG.- Stay away from my boifraannn DX
Zetabug: I'M HAVING TIGER TONIGHT!!!!!!! *SPITS ACID AT SG2* MUHAHAHAHAHA *TAKES BONES'S MOM OUT FOR DINNER*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] The Zetabug was a meme originating on YDB, LG's forum, during this period, and the troll account on IGNO was LG's.[/rescue_box]
SG2: I love how you guys just e-hooked up like 2 hours ago on YDB and now it's super srs. *shoots a chainsaw at LG for liking HSM, Hannah Montanna and Twilight*
LG: It was love at first sight!!!! METEOR SHOW *launches meteors at SG2* (cause I can do that ^^)
PWR: Teehee SG2, you will never find e-love. HAHA! -Eats her.- I EAT CHEW!
LG: THERE'S NO FORCE STRONGER THAN E LOVE NOT EVEN CHUCK NORRIS!!! *Shoots fireball at Bradios*
SG2: I don't need your e-love!! I have a beautiful mermaid slave!!! *uses a chainsaw to slice open PWR from the inside-out, freeing herself in a mess of blood and spewing organs* EAT *THAT*, YOU FILTHY WHORE!! *sets off a Chainsaw Landmine and runs like Hell*
Bradios: *Drinks a bottle of POWERTHIRST (ROCKET EDITION) AND BLAST 1,000 GRENADES AT LG*
SG2: Uh oh, stand back, everyone, Bradios is going to start running as fast as KENYANS and Mother Nature will be all like slooooooooooow doooooooooooown and he's going to be having so many babies FOUR HUNDRED BABIES
LG: *uses the pudding to heal pwr* There you go
PWR: -OMGDECOYS with a Snorlax.- OH YEAH?! WHERE IS YOUR MERMAID?! HUH?! WHERE?! SLUT! -Scissors slaps SG2 continously.- Thanks baby! -Sends crows to protect LG from Bradios' attack.-
Bradios: *RUNS AS FAST AS A KENYAN AND UNLEASHES HIS ANDROID BABIES THAT SELF-DESTRUCT UPON LG*
Mr. Bones: *lights the crows on fire* also for that crack about my mom zetabug i called the orkin man. *points zetabug out to the orkin exterminator*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]OH YEAH?! WHERE IS YOUR MERMAID?! HUH?! WHERE?! SLUT![/otw_shortcode_quote] YOU ARE SO GOING TO REGRET THAT REMARK WHEN HE GETS HERE, BECAUSE WITH HIM COMES THE TERRI-BIBLE!!!!!!!! I WARNED YOU THAT I HAD MORE HORRIFIC TYPOS TO UNLEASH UPON YOU ALL... SOON THE MIND-RAPING SHALL COMMENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Foreshadowing. It happens.
Zetabug: *Shoots acid at all the babies and Bradios* THE ONLY PERSON THAT GETS TO KILL THE *cough*PRICK*cough* IS ME!!
Bradios: FUCK YOU ZETABUG! *FIRES AND RAPES MOTHER*
Zetabug: I THINK I JUST GOT DUMBER BY READING THAT!!!!!!! *rips Bradios's head off* THATS RIGHT INSULTS AND PAIN!
Bradios: *Reconnects head and UNLEASHES THE DEADLY YOU ARE AN IDIOT VIRUS*
PWR: -Pees on Bones.- BITCH I'd like to see your foreshadowed d00m, SG2! But for nowww! -Madonna Tit Attacks SG2's eyes.- HAHA I WILL FEED ON YOUR PHOBIAS!
Mr. Bones: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]-Pees on Bones.-[/otw_shortcode_quote] usually you have to pay extra for that *points all 50 guns on my pirate ship filled with shrapnel shot at pwr and fires them simultaneously* enjoy 500 pounds of lead pwr *dives into the ocean to clean off the urine*
PWR: -Replaces herself with Bones' mom.- Well, maybe your mother will enjoy it. -Rides on her pancake and shoots her chopstick canon at Bones- Die you turrddd. DX
Mr. Bones: CHOPSTICKS ARE USELESS AGAINST BONE BECAUSE BONE IS HARDER THAN WOOD *freezes time the instant before the cannon fire hits my mom and replaces her with pwr and coats the cannon fire with salt to make it hurt more* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *unfreezes time* because i can freeze time now apparently
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]usually you have to pay extra for that[/otw_shortcode_quote]
I fucking lol'd. But I know what you mean, we all seem to be retconning our powers in this thread...it's awesome. *takes advantage of the situation as PWR is temporarily blinded and crippled by the explosion to swoop in and capture all her confused crows in butterfly nets and then lock them in a giant birdcage which she then hauls to the very top of Cumtastic Cliff and tosses into Lemmy's ocean below* There, let's kill about 2,000 birds with one stone and maybe that'll scare Lemmy out of the sea at the same time.
PWR: -Arises.- BITCHZ. -Asexually reproduces more crows.- Kill the tiger! -Crows swoop out toward SG2, farting sounds of thunder, ready to devour her.- As for you Bones.. -scissor slaps him relentlessly.-
SG2: ...you asexually reproduce crows?! But shouldn't reproduction only yield more of your own race, which is marshmallow demon, and not--oh shit!! *runs from the crows and turns invisible, throwing bird seed all over PWR and causing the birds to turn on her*
PWR: I COMMAND THEM PLZ. Well, not really. See, all marshmallow demons have a "spirit" guide HAHA and are able to reproduce them at will. Crows are mine. Although I could've chosen a Flamingo... 
-Forces the crows to seek out SG2.- You're dead, hoe!
SG2: I AM NOT A GARDEN TOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! *quickly clasps hands over mouth* ...Fuck, I forgot they could find me by sound, even if I'm invisible...uh... *runs like Hell*
PWR: -The crows have located her.- ATTACK NOW YOU LITTLE SHITTERZ! -Crows dive down and tear at SG2 ruthlessly.- yay~
Bradios: *Shoots the crows and eats them as a substitute for KFC* TAAASTY! Oh hey SG2
PWR: -Crows come back to life and tear through Bradios' body.- The only person who can kill my crows like that is Bones, bitch! -Commands them to tear at SG2 again.-
Bradios: *Sews together scars*
PWR: -Gives Bradios a first aid kit.- (Bradios, you can't sew up a scar. You can sew up a wound, though)
Mr. Bones: *freezes time again and switches sg2 with pwr and then puts an sg2 tiger suit on pwr* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *unfreezes time*
SG2: Thank you, Your Majesty. *takes the opportunity to teleport away from the vicinity armed with the remote control to the Chainsaw Landmines she set throughout the area*
Sage: (comes back to steal PWRLVLOVER9000 and then leaves with her into the shadows)
SG2: Uh-oh. LG may be in denial of his love for teh cawk, but I still don't think he's gonna take kindly to that...
LG: MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!! *stabs fallenangel then rips off his dick, sticks it up his ass, ties him up and sets him on fire* PWR you're safe *takes PWR back* *kisses PWR* Love ya much
PWR: O___O it's all dark.. where's my boifran?! DDDD:
PWR: I love you, LG! -snuggles.- -sticks tongue out at SG2.-
SG2: I thought you two were gonna stop that e-love stuff...and remember, PWR, LG loves teh cawk
Bradios: *Bradios summons forth his GIANT SCORPION OF DOOM AND SICKLES IT ON LG AND SENDS IT T RAMPAGE CHAOS ACROSS ENEMY AREA'S BUT NOT DESTROY KING BONES CASTLE*
PWR: -Protects LG with her Pancake Monsterz.- I told you to leave him alone, Bradios
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"] *Bradios summons forth his GIANT SCORPION OF DOOM AND SICKLES IT ON LG
SICKLES IT ON LG
SICKLES IT
SICKLES[/otw_shortcode_quote]
Wow, I lol'd. The word you're looking for is sic. Not sick (as in illness), not sickle (a sharp implement used to cut grass), sic. And srsly Bradios, stop targeting LG just because you're butthurt about not being allowed on YDB...play fair and attack someone else for a change.
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] We were all really mean to Bradios when he first joined...it's something of a rite of passage on IGNO, I guess, there's always one person who has n00bish tendencies when joining and we sorta gang up on them to beat it out of them :/[/rescue_box]
Bradios: This has nothing to do with YDB, SG2 *Flees and searches for xL* (Yes, even though he's not online IM SEARCHING FOR HIM ANYWAY!)
PWR: butthurt. teehee~
SG2: Sorry Bradios but I don't believe you, you've been targeting LG ever since then with your hate-mongering...kinda hard to believe that has nothing to do with it. But YDB does have nothing to do with IGNO, so kindly stop targeting LG with your anger and play fair. Now I know it's too much to say 'can't we all just get along' on a thread like this...but come on, guise, at least spread the hate around!! THAT INCLUDES YOU PWR YOU DON'T HAVE TO HURT ME ALL THE TIME The fun of past IGNO wars has been that we've always, like...switched loyalties and changed motivations constantly. It was more than just fighting...it was full of lulz for being so unpredictable. SO STOP BEING SO PREDICTABLE EVERYONE *shanks Hamel*
PWR: Aww, I love you SG2! -Stabs Bradios in the face.-
LG: *Smashes FAs head against the table*
Bradios: *Smashes a grenade into SG2's forehead*
SG2: *drags Bradios up on stage at a Ghalleger (sp?) show and shoves his head down on the table before he can notice it is not a watermelon*
Bradios: *Falcon Punches SG2 and then flees to search for xL again*
Mr. Bones: silly bradios sg2 is not preg so falcon punches are useless against her *dips hamel in honey and throws him at a bear* *edit* Just to make it entirely clear, as war were declared i am in my transformed state until otherwise stated, not in my squishy vulnerable state as i am in other threads
xL: *grabs Bradios's head and smashes him into a wall* YOU FOUND ME.
Bradios: *comes from behind and pounds his face into the wall and then snaps his legs* HAHA! THAT WAS JUST A DECOY!
xL: SILLY BRADIOS, TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS. *squirms away from Bradios and jumps onto a hot air balloon, giving the bird to all who look*
Bradios: *pops the hot air balloon and sends xL flying*
PWR: -Punches xL.-
Sage: aww cute punch
PWR: Aww, you think so?!
Sage: yes
Hamel: Wait I'm gone for a while and I'm suddenly dipped in honey and thrown at a bear?? *blows fire on the bear and makes roasted bear* Thank's Bones!!! Now I can have honey flavored roasted bear
SG2: That sounds... ...actually, kinda good, creepily enough. 
Sage: thats half the fun lol
PWR: -Scissor Slaps SG2 ruthlessly.-
Sage: wow
SG2: Sajid, not to rain on your parade, but if you could make less meaningless one-word posts and do more actual fighting, I'd appreciate it. Otherwise it kinda drags the thread down needlessly. *throws ten chainsaw grenades at PWR* YOU BITCH.
Sage: but one worrded is so much fun
SG2: And that is why we have Off-Topic:XTREME and the chatbox *HOPS INTO THE CHAINSAW CAR AND DRIVES STRAIGHT THROUGH PWR* This thread is for things like thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat--- *chainsaw car has no brakes*
PWR: OW YOU FUCKING BITCH! -Commands the crows to shit out Titanic like ships on SG2.- DIE FUCKER!
Sage: (sits back and watches)
Bradios: *Launches Holo-Shield Infront of SG2* NOT SO FAST! *Kicks Fallen into battle* GET YOUR LAZY ASS IN THERE!
Sage: nope (takes pwr and goes to my house)
xL: Bradios, can I sing a song for you? If I do, your ears WILL bleed and you cry and cry and cry......forever.
Bradios: You may xL *Switches off the hearing Mechanism in his ears* He, he
PWR: -Is wooshed away.- O,O YAY lolz
Mr. Bones: *blows up fallenangel's house* now you are involved
Sage: ohh poor house (leaves in tyhe shadows with pwr)
SG2: Nowhere to run, now!! *locks the laser grid of the Death Tiger on Sajid and PWR's position...and clicks a button that says 'fire'*
Sage: (laughs)
Bradios: *Gets into a PS3 Helicopter presses the X button rapidly and FIRES!*
Sage: (puts up a log)
PWR: -Quickly cooks up f00dz to protect them.- Giant Pancake Monsterz FTW!
SG2: That shit isn't going to protect you. *CHAINSAW LANDMINES ERUPT, TEARING THE GROUND AND EVERYTHING ON IT TO SHREDS WITH THEIR DOOMY BLADES OF DOOM*
Crisis: >,> *gets into a 300ft tall uber death mech, and stomps on SG2*
Mr. Bones: *freezes time and replaces sg2 with a photon torpedo* *unfreezes time* TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
PWR: -Stabs someone.-
Sage: awww cute stab
PWR: Teehee, thank you! -hugs.-
Sage: (hugs and puts a pankcake on your head)
PWR: -Grins and snuggles Fallen.- YAY! lolz -Shoves an umbrella in SG2's butthole and opens it.- OUCH!
Sage: wow i did not know that couls be done
SG2: You guys are not allowed to have ONE SIDED CONVERSATIONS in Off-Topic, so please take it to Off-Topic:XTREME. Back-and-forth posting between two people for that long with only short posts like that is one of the only things we really frown upon here, which is why there's Off-Topic:XTREME, kthx. That being said, *fires an atomic chainsaw at PWR*
Mr. Bones: *shoots fallenangel out of a cannon into outerspace* thats for having one sided conversations on the battlefield. attack people and then wait for 2 or 3 people to post and then jump back in and attack again or gtfo
Sage: (grabs the chainsaw and throws it at a randome duck)
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]attack people and then wait for 2 or 3 people to post and then jump back in and attack again or gtfo[/otw_shortcode_quote] The Ruler of the World has spoken. *teleports the duck to safety before it is hit, and redirects a homing chainsaw at Sajid*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] The fact that we keep addressing him by other terms in this thread leads me to believe he did not take the title Konungur for some time after attaining the throne...[/rescue_box]
Sage: (grabs it once more and eats it)
Bradios: *Grabs Fallen and corkeys* him sending him flying and doing critical damage* * a corkey is a saying for a move where you knee somebody HARD up the ass
Sage: (laughs and heals myself and telporting around)
LG: *Uses a pudding monster on PWR and FA* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH TAKE THAT YOU HUSSY!!!!
Sage: well i am hungry (eats the monster)
PWR: LG, you fail. -Takes away your easy bake oven.- BITCH
Sage: looks like he lose his monster power
PWR: teehee yess! -fills the land with pancake monsters and pizza goblins.- HAHA!
Sage: (eats some pancakes)
Mr. Bones: *eats the pizza goblins and drowns the pancake monster in butter and maple syrup* C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER *punts pwr to the other side of the planet to stop the potential one sided conversation*
Sage: (runs after power with a buttefly net)
Mr. Bones: *mighty putties fallenangel's legs to the ground* no you don't i did that for a reason. let other people post seriously, i'm trying to stop it so sg2 doesnt have to because she will use admin powers not just tell you to stop like i will.
Sage: (tlports out of the mightypuddy and see's billys mays ghost)
SG2: Sajid. Last chance. Behave now, or face the consequences. That being said, *fills the countryside with EXPLOSIONS and chainsaw shrapnel*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] For those unfamiliar as to why we'd be such hardasses towards Sajid's posting in a thread as chaotic as this one, please refer to this thread.[/rescue_box]
Lemmy: Nosing through here a bit . . . I've had it up to here with SG2 being labeled as a "slut". FACE THE WRATH OF SERF.
SG2: *hops onto the mermaid's back* Here, eat a cookie, it will power you up!! *gives cookie* Use serf nao!! *points to PWR*
Hamel: Serf??? You can throw Serfs at people? That's cool
SG2: It is one of his many typo powers. He can summon a wave of peasants to drown the enemy. (No, really; if you thought he made a typo just now you're wrong, it is intentionally serf, lulz)
PWR: LULZ AH HELL NO, BITCHSLUTZ -Allows the birds to carry her away.- SUICIDE BOMB THEM, MY PRETTIES! -Commands her crows to eat bombs and dive towards SG2.- HAHA D00M!
Sage: (gets on my bikes and rides in the sky watching to see what happens)
Bradios: *Comes out from the rubble of a mountain that was caught in the explosion of SG2's countryside-wide explosion* Heh, If everybody else is bringing out THEIR best attacks....*Spits out a mixture of oil and blood*...WHY NOT MINE! *Grasps both the horns on his shoulder pads and opens up his secret 3.27 Gigawatt thunder guns and unleashes them upon PWR and xL* MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! PREPARE TO DIE BY MY SUPER ELECTRICITY!!! 
PWR: -Commands the birds to form a feather shield for her.- dumb bitch
Bradios: hmmm... your right THAT TACTIC AT JUST FIRING AT YOU TWO WAS DUMB!!!!! *Redirects the flow of the 3.21 Gigawatt attack so that it spreads through-out the battlefield, aiming at random directions that destroys everything in its sight* Heh....i got more tricks up my sleeve
Mr. Bones: *laughs at the sheer amount of power required to develop such power while on a ship halfway around the world* clearly being halfway around the world i am not effected by such an attack. but i must ask what the amperage of this 3.21 gigawatt blast and how the hell does cyborg have the power capacity to create such energy
Bradios: Well Bones, I Guess its time for a science lesson (Courtesy of your friends at bradios banks' :D), *Puts on a lab coat and puts on nerdy glasses* You see a gigawatt is equal to one billion watts so each strike is equal to 3.21 billion watts of power and i have enough capacity to store 5 gigawatts in these cannons at the cost that it needs an hour and a half (Thats 10 individual posts by other people) to charge, and on that note *Sets his cannons into charge mode and sneaks into the shadows and places a decoy while he sets his next plan into motion*
Mr. Bones: that doesnt answer any of my questions. seeing as you didnt answer how many amps your gigawatt charge is using, which is the most important factor in your weapons power. not wattage or voltage as those only measure power and of the charge but not lethality or effectiveness. i know what a gigawatt is it is the unit of powerused to measure the power capacity of a power grid, power plant or a lightning bolt. *follows bradios and points all cannons at him and gets ready to ddos him to overload his bandwidth* NOW ANSWER MY QUESTION IM NOT BEING FOOLED BY YOUR DECOY what is the amperage of said 3.21gigawatt charge and how do you have the capacity to store an ammount of power as a large power plant in your tiny australian frame?
Bradios: He, He, He. The said amperage of the 3.21 gigawatts is 3354234.78 and how you ask i got the capacity? I stole the electric capacitor from Doctor Emmit Browns DeLorean time machine and replaced my old capacitor (which could only store 2,000,000 volts) into my central processor. *Sets the frequency on his earpiece radio to 141.80 and calls for raiden stating its a matter of the utmost importance* There, He should be here any minute now
Mr. Bones: ok someone else please post before this becomes one sided LOLOLOLOL RAIDEN. get the white haired prissy girl from mgs2 (it is 2009 the same year as mgs 2 so he isn't badass yet) *calls solid snake on his codec* CHECK AND MATE also just for good measure *fires cannons and launches DDoS attacl on bradios* SAY GOOD BYE TO YOUR BANDWIDTH BRADIOS. NOTHING CAN STOP A DDoS ATTACK
Bradios: (Ok after this im gonna let somebody else post in here before it becomes a one sided convo) BULL..SHIT! *Quickly disconnects from the internet* Also if you intending to send Solid Snake to assassinate me, you made a grave mistake because i have connections with him as well as Raiden *Reconnects to the internet* *Gives raiden a hyper blaster and tells him to go nuts*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"](Ok after this im gonna let somebody else post in here before it becomes a one sided convo)[/otw_shortcode_quote]
Yeah too late. Maybe you should have just, uh, gee, not replied, when John first suggested it. Why do you always feel the need to get in the last word? Why can't you ever admit when you're beaten? Why do you always have to have a lame half-assed excuse for coming out of any situation unharmed? God Dammit Bradios, you are the very fucking definition of a n00b and you need to grow up. You were cool when you first joined IGNO but you get more and more n00bish every day and I don't understand it when you fit in great before. Are you just lazy now? Or what? Why are you trying so hard?! It just makes you look like more of an ass, and quite frankly, it makes things boring and annoying. Srsly grow up, learn to be more creative than just coming out unscathed from any attack and then launching some 'unstoppable' superpower and then crying like a baby when someone else comes out from that unscathed. This thread was fun and creative for a while but it's dying now, and maybe that's because most IGNO threads that make it this far die around page 25, but your n00bish posts aren't helping. Really, PWR has kicked my ass so many times in this thread and I've only evaded her attacks about 50% of the time. I know when I'm beat, but I'm unkillable by default (a trait that I decided loooooooong ago), so I can always regroup and come back to fight another day, in spite of tremendous pain. Others among us can die and be revived somehow, or yadda yadda, but Jesus, at least we admit it when someone overpowers us and don't try to play the 'I know you are but what am I' game like first-graders. Sorry for ranting and sorry if it's harsh, but it's true, and someone needs to speak up about it so it may as well be me. I see it on this thread and I see it in the chatbox and there's just no reason for it when I know for a fact you can be better - you were when you first joined. I thought you were cooler than LG and XL combined when you all joined, honestly, because you were coming up with creative topics and replies all over the friggin' place. What the HELL happened, and why?! I'm sorry but Jesus Fucking Christ. Enough. [/rant] *does not attack anyone, just sits in the corner and plays GameBoy*
[/rescue_box]
Mr. Bones: *continues DDoS attack* sorry about this unnecessary post but disconnecting solves the problem reconnecting allows me to continue the attack also simply disconnecting doesn't heal the damage caused by a proper DDoS lrn2Internet Hate Machine BYE BYE BRADIOS also my secretary in charge of covert ops would so assassinate you, Solid Snake and i have been friends since the early 90s (1992 to be specific). however once my ddos attack is finished it cannot be used for 10 posts not counting mine. *sits in corner of boat which cannot move while DDoSing but starts fapping*
SG2: *telepathically removes his hand from his own and places it on a bat PENIS because apparently I can do that now* That's what you get for fapping out in the open!! *ninja vanish*
Mr. Bones: *takes bat and throws it at SG2 just as it finishes up* enjoy your hot sticky bat goo in your fur *returns to fapping quietly on my ship* *figures enough massive damage has been done to bradios' connection that he stops the DDoS attack*
Sage: (shoots green flares into the sky)
PWR: -Takes SG2's Gameboy and slaps her in the face with it.- BITCH, USE COLOR.. FUCK!
Hamel: *Steals PWR's pancakes and runs away with them, leaving behind a paper with a flame on it* MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *throws a match hairspray bomb at the scene*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"] -Takes SG2's Gameboy and slaps her in the face with it.- BITCH, USE COLOR.. FUCK![/otw_shortcode_quote] I don't even know what the Hell this means
xL: *throws a Game Boy Color at SG2's head* I think she meant a Game Boy Color.
PWR: -Pats xL.- EXACTLY.
LG: *sits in corner eating pudding in order to heal*
SG2: This thread has died...and with it, IGNO, once again... And I was hoping we'd make it to 30 pages before it crapped out. Dammit. ...I blame PWR. *shanks PWR*
Mr. Bones: *gorilla glues pwr to igno* NEVAR AGAIN
PWR: -DIES.- DDDD:
Tim: *steps out of tamaki portal into IGNOland* wtf... who the f*&#?? what the hell... oh well... *throws small fireball at LG burning up his pudding*
Bradios: *Gets up from the DDOS attack after FINALLY repairing his broadband and grabs a fire extinguisher and wraps in barbed-wire and then whacks SG2 with it then sprays foam all over hamel's fiery body*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] The thread was abandoned for a time and, as all threads past their time, moved to Ghost Town. However, the following summer as IGNO began to become active again, I revived it and moved it back to Off-Topic, starting the tradition of reviving the thread each summer...and thus, the break in posts between August 3rd, 2009, and June 25th, 2010.[/rescue_box]
SG2: A year has passed. Time has frozen. A hail of gunfire, flames and lightning stand still in a stagnant black sky. It is as though stone sculptures were cast in the likeness of each and every denizen of IGNOLand, their exploits in this massacre eternally locked in a stalemate, never allowed to continue their bloody struggle. ...Until now. The sound of footsteps echoes throughout the gray and silent space...a flash of color emerges from the monochrome, a blur of motion among the statues. A lone tiger steps out into this world in which time has ended...and without a word, without hesitation, makes a single gesture. She snaps her fingers. The world returns to life. Everyone from last year must remember that this thread was locked because Bradios and a newly-joined Traitor engaged in two entire pages of one-sided conversation...I've deleted the offending posts, so we can pick up where we left off.
Bradios: Haha! Round two, eh? I never thought I would see the day *evil smile* TO THE BOMBER PLANE! *Hops into his plane loaded with bombs and begins flying over IGNOLand*
Fenix: *summons a flying brick wall in front of Bradios' plane in mid flight.* Take that you techno-monstrosity! Magic > Technology!
Mr. Bones: *sends a crew of cocaine enraged negroes with 2x4s after russ* WAR WERE DECLARED
Bradios: *Gets up from the wreckage and sends an army of Android Soldiers with plasma guns at them* Chaaaaaaaarge!
xL: *Gives Bradios and Traitor a puppy*
Fenix: *calms the negros with woadymellons and bribes them with rape drink*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*calms the negros with woadymellons and bribes them with rapedrink*[/otw_shortcode_quote] ...the fuck do they sell that shit, Japan?
Bradios: If they do, why can't I track it down? *Fires 20 Grenades at SG2, BlackFenix, Bones* And I don't want your "Peace Puppy", you toast loving idiot! *Attaches a Time bomb to the puppy and throws it back at xL*
Mr. Bones: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRADIOS HARMING A PUPPY IS A CRIME OF THE HIGHEST SEVERITY! CANINES ARE ONE OF THE IMPERIAL SYMBOLS OF MY RULE! EQUALED ONLY BY NARWHALS! THIS CANNOT BE FORGIVEN OR FOGOTTEN! I AM LEGION! *sends the diabetes force of the leprechaun army on the narwhals of hate led by leeloo with her custom extended tusk to arrest Bradios and feed him to the imperial hounds* BOW TO MY MIGHTY IRON FIST SOFT AND FLUFFY HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tim: *takes Puppy and plays happily with in corner*
Fenix: *pulls out a baseball bat and hits the grenades back at bradios*
Bradios: *Looks around to check and see if anybody is watching and places a plastic explosive covered copy of himself and leaves* Hehe, suckers....
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*sends the diabetes force of the leprechaun army on the narwhals of hate led by leeloo with her custom extended tusk to arrest Bradios and feed him to the imperial hounds*[/otw_shortcode_quote]I read this post this morning and was compelled to draw it.
[spoiler title="Der Konungur, Defender of the Innocent]
[/spoiler]
[otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*Looks around to check and see if anybody is watching and places a plastic explosive covered copy of himself and leaves* Hehe, suckers....[/otw_shortcode_quote] Bradios, you need to learn to start playing fair. I'm pretty sure we went over this last year, too. You can't always escape a situation and ignore impending doom. Sometimes, sure, but you seem to do it all the time. And I mean fuck, we all have some sort of crazy deus ex machina that can bring us back to life/turn us back to normal, so be a good sport and take the blow once in a while. I'll tell you right now that this kind of thing won't fly in any potential roleplay. You 'looked around to see if anyone was watching', and got away with making a copy of yourself, while John's forces were advancing on you? Yeah, I don't think so. That's completely unfair and makes you look like a dick. An un-fun attitude like that is what made this thread die last time (not on your part, but it was the same sort of problem with this other person). I'll only say this once - play fair. That applies to everyone.
Fenix: *revvs up his typo cannon* M'ia chagrin ham razol!
Mr. Bones: *sounds the vuvuzela of war to annoy bradios out of hiding while riding leeloo the narwhal and continuing my hunt for the puppy hamburglar* BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
[/rescue_box]
SG2: The fuck is a vuvuzela and why are half your posts either about it or about narwhals? Also no comment on my epic drawing? It does not please Mein Konungur? I sad nao...
Mr. Bones: a vuvuzela is an annoying horn that south africans blow at soccer games that make a 120+dB BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ sound that is an upstart internet meme that says they are for inciting war. this board needs moar narwhals. i guess i got inspired by the combined epicness of the great scandanavian tusked whale and a majorly annoying plastic horn also epic pic is epic
Bradios: *Eardrums begin to break from the sound of the vuvuzella* JESUS CHRIST MAKE THAT THING STOP!
SG2: *uses the distraction to sneak up behind Bradios and slice off both his ears* There, I saved you. I charge $50 for daring rescues, though, so pay up.
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*takes Puppy and plays happily with in corner*[/otw_shortcode_quote] *takes out a trigger and presses it, causing the puppy to turn into a massive goat that will forever seduce Traitor*
Bradios: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]There, I saved you. I charge $50 for daring rescues, though, so pay up.[/otw_shortcode_quote] *has had his ears cut off and can't hear SG2's words* What?! What did you say?
Mr. Bones: *sneaks up behind the deaf bradios* FOR THE PUPPY! *stabs*
Fenix: *raises an army of zombies and dances to Thriller with them*
SG2: Is it too soon to ask if Michael himself is now among the Thriller-dancing zombies?
Mr. Bones: TOO SOON SG2 TOO SOON *shatter SG2's ear drums with a vuvuzela* BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZ
Bradios: *Comes out of hiding and snatches the vuvuzella from bones to stop him making that sound* That's enough out of that! *Converts his left arm to a electricity cannon and fires at Bones*
SG2: Bradios I warned you once, so now you're getting an actual warning. That's not something to be proud about since you're the only member on this board with three warnings. I told you to play fair and stop ignoring everything negative that happens to you. You just got your ears ripped off and were stabbed by John, so what is with this 'comes out of hiding' and suddenly being able to hear the vuvuzela bullshit? This thread is supposed to be about having fun, and I won't let you kill that again. I'm not going to say it again. Pull this crap one more time and you're not going to be allowed to RP with us.
Fenix: Nobody's attacking me! I'm a powerfil necrophilemancer! I just demostrated my power by raising an army of zombies just to dance with them? Am I too lovable and cudly? Have I gone soft? Will Lassie ever rescue Timmy from the well? These are the questions that need answers. And we've got our whole lives ahead of us to answer them. Don't ever change guys. Have a great summer, see you next year in college!
Mr. Bones: *pulls out another vuvuzela and continues playing while shoving the stolen one up bradios' ass* escape the sound now bradios *dives into a rubber fortress*
Fenix: *releases a mob of children into the rubber fortress, telling them it's a moon bounce* Heh heh, that'll show you you angry-bee-horned bastard!
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*dives into a rubber fortress*[/otw_shortcode_quote] Hiding in a condom? Of course!! It's the last place Bradios would ever be able to invade!!
Bradios: *is confused by the whole situation as he can only see their lips moving with no sound coming out* What the hell are you people saying?!!!! *starts running around like a chicken with it's head cut off*
Fenix: *Smack's Bradios with a Mackerel* Cut that shit out!
Mr. Bones: after being distracted by bradios attempting to blow up a puppy I realize TRAITORS DON'T DESERVE PUPPIES!!! *steals traitors puppy*
xL: I thought I turned that puppy into a seducing goat. Anyway... *shoves pens up SG2's nostril*
Fenix: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Anyway... *shoves PENIS up SG2's nostril*[/otw_shortcode_quote] Fixed.
Bradios: *places hand over swelling cheek* Ow! Even though it's a fish it still hurts! And can you please tell me what you're saying? Use a mini blackboard or something so that I can understand you?
SG2: *wails on Bradios with a mini-blackboard* Also fucking ow!! Unlike LG, I am not fond of nasal sex!!
Fenix: *magically grafts troll ears to Bradios* There, now you can hear again. *stomps on Bradios' foot* Now dance!
Bradios: OW! SG2, I meant for you to WRITE on it not to hit me with it! Thanks for the ears Russ, Let thy will be done! *Begins spontaneously dancing*
SG2: *throws infinite mini blackboards at his feet to keep him dancing*
Mr. Bones: *opens a trap door at bradios' feet*
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]OW! SG2, I meant for you to WRITE on it not to hit me with it![/otw_shortcode_quote] *Gets a marker and writes "Hit here" on Bradios's forehead* Ok! *Hits Bradios in the forehead with a desk chair*
Tim: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*takes out a trigger and presses it, causing the puppy to turn into a massive goat that will forever seduce Traitor*[/otw_shortcode_quote] Good thing John stole it! Now its his problem! And luckily i'm not into goars *uses mini blackboard to draw Australia and New Zealand on a map to confuschlickle IGNOland*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] Lololol, after the 'vuvuzela' thing Bones was doing on every thread at the time I set some word filters to turn 'vuvuzela' into 'vagina' and 'bzzzt' into schlickschlickschlick', with 'zz' being a separate filter because he would always use an indeterminate amount of them...naturally lead to unexpected consequences when words like 'pizza' became 'pischlicka', and in this case, what Tim meant as 'confuzzle'...[/rescue_box]
Mr. Bones: *shows Traitor the redrafted Bones maps* new zealand isnt on here all i see is an archpellago called australia *smashes squeezes Traitor with my IRON FIST FLUFFY HUGS*
Bradios: *flies up from the trap door" What the fuck are we doing?! This is war dammit! WAR! Not the fight over nothing!! FIIIIIIGGGGHHHHT!!!! *Begins shooting volts of electricity everywhere*
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*uses mini blackboard to draw Australia and New Zealand on a map to confuschlickle IGNOland*[/otw_shortcode_quote] What the hell does that mean?! *Throws Traitor into a sewer*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]And luckily i'm not into goars[/otw_shortcode_quote] Yeah, how dare you imply such a thing!! Traitor is into good ol' fashioned beastiality, he ain't into no guro!! Keep your goars to yourself!!
Mr. Bones: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]This is war dammit! WAR! Not the fight over nothing!! FIIIIIIGGGGHHHHT!!!![/otw_shortcode_quote]thats what war is we fight over nothing thats the point of this thread *beats bradios over the head with the thread until bradios gets it*
SG2: Srsly, war = fighting over nothing, what's so hard to understand about that? And in IGNOLand, that concept of 'nothing' is even more emphasized, so... *throws Bradios' own gnomes at him to get the point across*
LG: *stands eating pudding enjoying watching everyone fight* .....mmmmmm yes
xL: *Throws Bradios at SG2*
Mr. Bones: *grabs lg by the ankles and beats xL with him*
Bradios: *is flying uncontrollably towards SG2* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! xL, if I survive this you're going to die!
CAEJones: *Pokes head in to see what's going on* *Is knocked unconscious by a flying Bradios*
Fenix: Hehehe, they don't call it Na Sing Se, after all.
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] There was a day when Russell had logged in on my computer...and so we decided that we should post as each other, acting the way we normally act, just under a new name, and even color our posts to see if anyone would notice. Spoiler: they didn't.[/rescue_box]
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]xL, if I survive this you're going to die![/otw_shortcode_quote]
Mr. Bones: *beats russell with lg for repeating that phrase in many threads*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Hehehe, they don't call it Na Sing Se, after all.[/otw_shortcode_quote]That means Penetrable City.
Fenix: I'll just have to keep trying. My mighty drill will pierce through the walls eventually.
CAEJones: I thought your "mighty drill" was imported, and meant for use on a "construction project"?
Fenix: That drill totally just spooged all up in that wall. The wall is gonna get pregnar and give birth to.......................
SG2: PREGNAR THE BARBARIAN!!
Hamel: *gets out of the way for that one* I think I'll stay FAR away from that... abomination! Maybe.... *throws a cupcaek at the Pregnar barbarian*
Mr. Bones: *impales hamel on a claymore made of narwhaltusk*
Hamel: Ahahaha!!! But my body is made of fire and shadows! You're impaling has no affect on me!!! *hides cupcaek in Mr. Bones crown*
Mr. Bones: CUPBUKAKKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dammit! throws hamel in a leaky sinking submarine* muahahahahahahahahahaha
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] More word filter shenanigans, as 'cake' filters to 'bukkake' on the board. This is why Hamel's special treats are now referred to as 'cupcaeks'.[/rescue_box]
Hamel: NUUUUU *grabs Mr. Bone's Mane* If I'm falling, so are you!!
Mr. Bones: *jumps into the ocean* NO ONE TOUCHES MY MANE1111
Bradios: *Gets up after knocking down CAEJones* Damn, time to get back into the fighting. *notices hamel fighting bones* HEY HAMEL!!!!
CAEJones: *Shrugs and hangs out with Pregnar the barbarian, eatin' some cookies*
Bradios: *throws cookie out of CAEJones' hand* No eating during war!
CAEJones: *Cries* ... *Bites Bradios' hand* ... Metal = pain.
Hamel: *falls into the water* NUUUUU~!!!!11!1!!1111!!!1 *dies*
SG2: *throws Bradios at Caejones* You don't make the rules of war, bitch. *sits down on a picnic blanket in the midst of the bloodshed and gunfire and eats a sammich* Aaaah, majestic. Anyone wanna join me?
CAEJones: *Hides behind Pregnar the Barbarian, who wants to join SG2*
Hamel: *puff of smoke comes near SG2* May... May I have part of that sammich? so I can recover myself a bit till I can get a cupcaek, unless you have one....
CAEJones: There in the secret hiding place next to where I keep all the cookies that I wasn't eating in plain sight. Unfortunately, I don't have the key to that one... ... but who does?
Hamel: Maybe that fucking Oompa Loompa that took my chocolate!
CAEJones: Well, all we need to do is get someone to make a silly error, and it'll probably show up with the rest of them to sing a song of moral tauntery.
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*sits down on a picnic blanket in the midst of the bloodshed and gunfire and eats a sammich* Aaaah, majestic. Anyone wanna join me?[/otw_shortcode_quote] *sets the picnic blanket on fire*
SG2: *sets XL on fire and throws him to the royal hounds* *resumes picnic* My basket's non-flammable, bitch.
Bradios: Mind if I could join you? I brought assorted cans of soda and chips.
Mr. Bones: *spears CAEJones with a spear made of narwhal tusk and obsidian* yay picnic *shakes dry my mane as i exit the water like a mighty viking* *joins picnic with a lamb wrapped in bacon*
Bradios: *begins nomming on chips* Anybody want a drink? *hands out soda's to everybody*
CAEJones: *Transforms into a flying carpet to escape spearing * *gets stuck in a tree* *Cries.*
Bradios: *plucks off spear and sets CAEJones free* There ya go! Come over here and have yourself a hearty meal
Hamel: I'll take some chips!! Do you have BBQ? Or Ranch Doritos?
xL: *Calls in an airstrike to attack everyone at the picnic*
SG2: Bradios!! How dare you rescue the victim of Mein Konungur's attack?! *grabs him and hurls him into the air at XL, cancelling his attack once again* Besides...this picnic has a No Aussies Allowed rule. *enjoys the soda and chips so generously donated by Bradios*
Fenix: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*plucks off spear and sets CAEJones free* There ya go! Come over here and have yourself a hearty meal[/otw_shortcode_quote] *slaps Bradios* No eating during war. /sarcasm *Fires a volley of magic missiles at, *rolls a D10*, XL*
CAEJones: Now I wanna play Foundation. I mean *Is caught in the wind and flutters off into a desolate land in the distance* *cries.*
Bradios: Besides...this picnic has a No Aussies Allowed rule. *enjoys the soda and chips so generously donated by Bradios*[/otw_shortcode_quote] Oh, okay then... *Walks away with a pepsi in his hand*
SG2: *stealthily confiscates the pepsi and replaces with a PENIS*
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Oh, okay then... *Walks away with a pepsi in his hand*[/otw_shortcode_quote] You can come to my picnic, if you like. I promise I have some "interesting" food choices. *Points to a cave for Bradios to follow me in*
Bradios: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]You can come to my picnic, if you like. I promise I have some "interesting" food choices. *Points to a cave for Bradios to follow me in*[/otw_shortcode_quote] GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FILTHY TOAST LOVING PEDOPHILE! *Blasts xL with his arm cannon*
SG2: Hey, that toast was 18, I swear!! ...oh, you were talking to XL. My bad. *walks off whistling*
Pregnar the Brabarian: PREGNAR HATE PICKNICKS!!1 PREGNAR SMASH!!1
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] Finally appearing several posts later, Pregnar was one of Russell's many troll accounts, and was born of a typo.[/rescue_box]
SG2:You bitch!! That was my lunch!!
Hamel: my dorito's!!! 
*throws a match hairspray bomb on Pregnar*
CAEJones: *Uses "hiding behind" status to slink away* *Not under a suspicious spiderweb between two trees*
Bradios: D-Did you just destroy my food? *charges his arm cannon preparing to attack* YOU'RE GONNA DIE, PREGNAR! *fires his arm cannon at pregnar*
SG2: I seem to recall you being ejected from the picnic...what part of it was your food? *launches Bradios out of a cannon at Pregnar*
Bradios: 1/3 of the potato chips and the coooooolaaaaaaa! *continues flying towards pregnar*
Hamel: I wonder what Pregnar is going to do with him? Well perhaps that will keep Pregnar busy enough that he'll leave our picnic alone. *sits back down*
Bradios: *Slams into pregnar* HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEE!!!!
xL: I'll help you. *Grabs Bradios and takes him to a hotel*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] So clearly, we can narrow down the time period when xL became a sexual deviant to between 2009 and 2010, as most of his attacks were terrorist-based before the thread's revival.[/rescue_box]
Bradios: *is gonna get raped* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
xL: Actually, I was taking you to the Delfino Hotel so Boos could haunt you while you sleep, but I like your idea better.
SG2: XL is becoming the new LG. Only he's more sneaky about it. He's like a sex ninja.
Hamel: KOK That should be one of his titles. Sex Ninja. But I agree, XL you are becoming more like LG the more you hang out with him...
xL: I haven't talked to LG in around 2 weeks, I believe. And besides, I really was taking Bradios to the Delfino Hotel! I swear!
Bradios: Yeah, right xL. You're a horrible liar, I can tell you that. *kicks him over and over again, resisting xL*
Hamel: yeah, to butt rape him
SG2: Sorry XL, but I'm inclined to agree with them. Your lust for buttrape is growing insatiable.
Hamel: should we take this time to do an intervention on him? Nip the bud before it blooms? or is it too late for him?
Bradios: Should we revive the trashy talkshow thread or make a new thread about xL's problem?
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Should we revive the trashy talkshow thread[/otw_shortcode_quote]YES I always thought that thread's great potential was wasted.
Bradios: LET'S GET TO WORK!
xL: DAMN YOU ALL. *Gets a monkey and has it throw poo at everyone*
Bradios: Not so fast! *drags xL to the Trashy Talkshow thread*
xL: *Leaves some claymores around in case anyone is foolish enough to step in front of them*
SG2: I fail to see how stepping in front of some swords lying on the ground could be harmful. But on that note, and to prevent the one-sided conversations Bradios seems to be seeking *scatters caltrops all over the ground*
xL: I was referring to the antipersonnel mine. KOK *punches SG2 in the stomach*
CAEJones: *Punches stomach in the SG2* ... *Feels bad and cries*
Hamel: OOoohhhhh swords!!!! *gathers them all up and sets up a stall* SWORDS FOR SALE!!! GET YOUR SWORDS AND CUPCAEKS HERE!!!!
CAEJones: Meeeeeep. There was a swordbooth at a fleamarket we went to a few weeks ago... and they were for $25, but 20% off! And I had moneys... :'(
Hamel: you had monies? then why didn't you buy them? but off the buying of them there, you want to be careful when you buy swords. Most swords here are made from Pakistan or China and arent' very good quality, not to mention they're really dull and not for direct use. And even if they were, swords from Pakistan are the shittest swords you're going to find.
CAEJones: I have no idea... but my dad did seem impressed with a couple of them, and I'm pretty sure he knows what he's talking about in that department. Umm... independence isn't my strong point, or I would have...
Hamel: *looking back through the topic again* I kind of miss the war and the mayhem... *sends fire cats down to destroy some random village* BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!11111!!111!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!1!!!!!!!
Mr. Bones: *commandeers a claymore and gives it a test run* well balanced *gives hamel some bacon for the sword*
Hamel: I thank you for your patronage. Here is a cupcaek as an appreciation
Bradios: Do you have anything in the Electronic Sword department? Because I'm suffering a drought of technological melee weapons and I sorta need some
xL: ASK IF THERE'S ANY BUTTER-RELATED WEAPONS FOR ME!
Fenix: *plants explosives amongst the pile of swords* sneak, sneak, stealth, sneak *hides behind blast shield*
SG2: *hands XL a butterknife the like of which he could find in any kitchen* That'll be 500 bucks.
xL: 500 of these?
[spoiler title="Spoiler: click to toggle"]
[/spoiler]
If so...I can't imagine what you'll do with them!
SG2: Sell them to Traitor at a higher price That's none of your business, terrorist!!
Hamel: Sorry Bradios but I don't have any electric weapons of any sort, these are hand tempered iron blades. *moves stall away from explosives* But if you did want some weapons, it'll be 2,000 bacon for any iron swords, 8,000 bacon for any computerized sword and 10,000 bacon for any swords that produce an elemental spell of some sort. SG2, if you wanted any weapons I'll sell them to you for 5 bacon each.
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] When we installed the AIO2 and set up the shop system we needed to decide a form of currency for IGNOLand, and Bones initially decreed that we base it on meats, such as bacon...deciding this was too silly, I said fuck that shit and decided our currency would be Kok. Obviously much, much more serious.[/rescue_box]
SG2: Once the AIO2 is fixed, you'll be able to sell all those things in the actual shop
Mr. Bones: SG2 you could have your own part of my standing army with those 500 bucks if you so choose. animals with horns tusks and antlers make excellent offensive mounts
SG2: Deal. Shall I distribute the bucks to the leprechaun army, or did you have other cavaliers in mind?
CAEJones: Ooh! Wouldn't I look cute riding a deer? Kinda like the Dwarves in Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, except instead of a dwarf, it's like, a chibi-type thing... ... Presently, smiling hurts.
Fenix: Wait, you're a chibi?
CAEJones: So far as you know. :sneak:
Bradios: So, what does that mean? Are you a chibi?, a non-chibi?, a semi-chibi? TELL US DAMMIT!
Mr. Bones: SG2 your choice it is your division of the military *smacks russell with a side of bacon*
SG2: Very well, I appoint Demi-Chibi Caejones to pilot the head buck and lead the squadron of buck-riding shrubbery dwarves. TO VICTORY, IN THE NAME OF MEIN Konungur!!
Fenix: *gets slapped with bacon* Mmmmm, delicious head wound.
Hamel: Wait... I thought... I thought I was the controller of the Shrubbery Dwarves 
SG2: You are the OberstgruppenKonungur who works beneath Der Konungur, correct? You command what are a subset of his own troops. I have merely dispensed the bucks I gained from XL to those troops, so you may do with them as you wish under the guidance of Der Konungur.
Bradios: *peeks in* So....The picnic's over?
SG2: *chucks Bradios directly into the path of the marauding buckforce* The picnic has been over for pages upon pages!! Pay attention!!
Bradios: HOOOOLLY SHIIIIIIIIIIT *is currently being flung into the buckforce*
xL: *throws an axe at Bradios's head*
Mr. Bones: *starts another picnic* I BROUGHT JELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *throws jello everywhere* crap *ruined the picnic*
SG2: It's okay, I started another picnic on...some other thread. Let's go there. ...oh right, this thread is supposed to be a war. *throws bombs in all directions*
Mr. Bones: *hides behind a wall of cocaine enraged negroes*
CAEJones: *Rides in fear* *Avoids mushroom-mines* *Beware those that lurk in the dark woods*
xL: *throws CAEJones into the dark woods* Let me know who/what is in there!
Bradios: *lands on the ground with an axe in his head* Ouch You know tha-hjfifjwuifhisdfiyfy *Hits himself on the head several times* Sorry you had to see that
SG2: *sits in the corner reading Umineko and waiting for some actual warring to start*
xL: *shoots SG2's computer with a pistol*
MTS: *throws Danish at xL then kicks him in the jugular* Ha! *pours coffee on SG2s keyboard*
Bradios: *sees xL shooting SG2's Laptop* YOU BASTARD, THAT WAS A POOR, INNOCENT LAPTOP AND YOU KILLED IT!!! *shoots grenades at xL*
CAEJones: *Lurking in the dark.* *Wonders what will find* *Surely not a sword in the spine?*
MTS: *stabs CAEJones in the spine with a sword*
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*sees xL shooting SG2's Laptop* YOU BASTARD, THAT WAS A POOR, INNOCENT LAPTOP AND YOU KILLED IT!![/otw_shortcode_quote] Boohoo. *shoots Bradios's computer*
Bradios: Oh, you BITCH! *fires electrified bullets at xL*
CAEJones: *Cries* *Dies* *Is eaten* *Apparently has the ability to regenerate from feces* *O.O*
LG: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*fires electrified bullets at xL*[/otw_shortcode_quote] YOU J-HOLE YOU DON'T ATTACK MY XLKINS!!!!!!!!!!! *Brings my over 9000 PENISes up from the depths of the PENIS desert and has them jizz acid all over bradios*
MTS: *throws the dirty danish that she threw at xL at LG* DIE!
SG2: @xL: *initiates DDoS attack via desktop that wasn't destroyed and sends laptop in for repairs* @Cae: Only unicorn feces though, right? Or do you transform into unicorn feces? Or just a unicorn, but your feces gives you power? What happened to the flying were-carpet? @LG: J-Hole? Is that anything like J-Rock? @MTS: So apparently this is a boomerang danish?
LG: *Slaps SG2 in the face with my PENIS for asking too many questions!*
CAEJones: Is it the full moon , yet
xL: Why? o_0
Bradios: Oh crap. He's probably gonna attack us at full power at midnight. *Fires grenades at CAEJones*
SG2: BRADIOS DON'T!! GRENADES ARE THE CATALYST TO HIS TRANSFORMATION!!
Bradios: FFFFFUUUUUU-
LG: Wait does this mean I'll be even more confused!!!! *runs*
Bradios: I'M CALLING FOR A STATE OF EMERGENCY!!! CODE BLACK!
LG: "Black is the worst color!.... Sorry" (awesomeness point for who ever gets the reference)
Mr. Bones: *kicks bradios in the head* WHEN DID I GIVE YOU POWER IN MY PLANET TO DECLARE STATES OF EMERGENCY? it seems like thats a power reserved for state officials not cyborgs with hearts full of neutrality. *hits caejones with a flying knee*
CAEJones: Oww! *Cries* *Turns into a flying carpet and flyings away* *... somewhere*
SG2: So now we have to wonder, what is it that makes Cae turn into a carpet? Was it the grenades or the knee? Did the knee perhaps cancel a more dangerous transformation and turn him into carpet-mode instead? Or maybe grenades cause the carpet form, and the knee had no effect? See, these are the questions...
CAEJones: The grenades, in fact, aloted some degree of control over the transformation. The knee just hurt and made me use it.
LG: *Hits SG2 with a wave of pudding for asking to many questions* *Sets CAE's carpet on fire*
MTS: *THROWS DIRTY DANISH BOMMERANGS AT EVERYONE* DIE< DIE< DIE DEMONS!!!!!!1!!
LG: *danish lands in mouth* AHHHHHHH IT TASTES AWEFULLLL *falls over*
xL: *sends in a tiger to attack SG2* WHICH TIGER IS BETTER?
SG2: *uses Tiger Authority* Hey man, that guy over there is a dick. Go eat his face. *tiger turns around and mauls XL into a bloody pulp*
Mr. Bones: *transforms into ronnie james dio and jumps on the tiger's back* RIDE THE TIGER YOU CAN SEE HIS STRIPES BUT YOU KNOW HE'S CLEAN! OH DON'T YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
CAEJones: *Falls into a river, becoming a drenched carpet* T.T
MTS: *picks up LGs body and whacks xL in the back of the head for attacking SG2 with her own kind*
LG: OW GOSH DARN IT!!!!! *stabs bones in the back with a knife*
Mr. Bones: *uses lightning tether on LG* WHEN THERE'S LIGHTNING YOU KNOW IT ALWAYS BRINGS ME DOWN! *pulls out a "velvet" sword* BETWEEN THE VELVET LIES! THERE'S A TRUTH AS HARD AS STEEL! *stabs lg*
xL: *Glues headphones connected to a CD player that's playing Justin Bieber to MTS*
LG: *Rips the headphones off of MTS and puts them on myself* JUSTIN BIEBER MAKES ME STRONGER!!!!!! *just notices that I was stabbed by bones* ... OH SHIT... *passes out*
Bradios: *Notices LG and MTS listening to Justin Beiber and targets for both of them* !![BEIBER FANS DETECTED, FIRING ANTI-FAG MUSICIAN MISSILES]!! *Fires Missiles at both MTS and LG*
xL: Come on, Timmooo, you know you want to fuck Teh Bieber.
SG2: ...did...did XL just refer to Bradios as Timmooo?
xL: ...........FUCK. I meant Bradios. I fail. 
Fenix: *Teleports in an army of Daleks* "You are an enemy of the Daleks, you must be destroyed!"
Mr. Bones: *walks up the stairs* foiled *smacks xL for liking justin bieber*
Fenix: *smacks justin beeber fior beiung bjorn*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*smacks justin beeber fior beiung bjorn*[/otw_shortcode_quote] I never thought you of all people would hold someone's ethnicity against them. It's not his fault he's (apparently) Icelandic. You disgusting bigot.
xL: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*smacks xL for liking justin bieber*[/otw_shortcode_quote] I don't like Justin Beiber. I would just fuck him and get the hell outta there. Because all of the crazed fangirls would be pissed that I took away his virginity instead of one of them. Although....I could always tell them it was LG and have them attack his 9,000 PENISes...only to have them all die. Then I could take him for myself and put him into a basement like LG did with Katy Perry. HAHAHAHA!
Mr. Bones: *hits russell in the face with a battle axe for being racist againts the nords*
LG: *sneaks up behind bones and gives him a paper cut* TAKE THAT!!!!!
MTS: *lifts shirt* BOW DOWN TO ME BEETTCHEZZ!!!!1!!!!!!1!!!!!
xL: I don't see anything
Atlas: You don't? Well I see what appear to be two mosquito bites, not really sure what I'm looking at. *Grabs MissTohruSohma and twists her neck until it breaks* THIS IS WAR!!!!! WAR DOES NOT GRANT TIME FOR BEWBS!!!!11!1!!1
MTS: H...how is it that Atlas is immune to my hypnotic nippeyes!?!?! 
Fenix: *uses a Fenix Down on MTS* ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-TITS!
xL: Did LG train your breasts to be hypnotic? Because I believe one of LG's 9,000 PENISes has hypnotic abilities. *Throws explosive bras at MTS*
SG2: I'm not sure LG would ever allow his PENISes contact with breasts or anything of the breast-like persuasion. However, it's possible that hanging out on a regular basis made their powers unconsciously influence MTS's boobs. They say that girls who hang out on a regular basis end up having their periods sync up, so why wouldn't a gay man's psychokinetic PENIS powers rub off on his friend's breasts just by being in close proximity all the time? Seems pretty logical to me. Also, XL should sell explosive bras in the IGNO shop. They might come in handy.
Corey: *pokes head out of bunker* " YOU DARN KIDS GET OFF THE LAWN" *goes back underground into his super defense bunker to wait until a time to strike*
xL: *Attempts to get into the bunker with butter*
SG2: Retiring WAR WERE DECLARED again because I don't want it to be corrupted with lame non-sequiters during IGNO's period of dead time. I am sure once activity picks up again this spring/summer I will revive it for the third year in a row of awesome and hilarious free-for-all action, because this is probably my favorite thread since we've moved to ZetaBoards.
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] The thread was actually left to go all the way into March 7th, 2011, before being retired, because it was somehow still running even post-summer...revived again, in August of 2011.[/rescue_box]
SG2: It just doesn't feel like an IGNO Summer without everyone beating the shit out of each other. Epic revive y/y?
Bradios: And to that I say...let me go get my guns!
Mr. Bones: *Slaps bradios in the mouth with a baseball bat * WAR WERE DECLARED
EnjoyLov: *Brings out water balloons and water guns and prepares for war*
LG: my peni army is well trained bitches!!!!
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*Slaps bradios in the mouth with a baseball bat * WAR WERE DECLARED[/otw_shortcode_quote] I laughed harder than I should have. Clearly violence against Bradios is the most amusing. *pelts Bradios with waves of bricks*
LG: *Sends a jizz wave at bradios*
SG2: *jumps into the Tiger Mech and launches a barrage of grenades at [you]* Wahahahaha, let's see who catches on that I just used the new BBCode
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] I added a [you] BBCode that reflected the username of the person reading the post back at them.[/rescue_box]
Mr. Bones: OUCH *is exploded* *uses disembodied arm to reassemble self bender style* Also really it was the violenceagainst bradios that was the funniest and not the absurd use of the verb slap with a blunt object in classic monty python ridiculousness *force feeds Traitor a norwegian blue parrot*
SG2: Well, that parrot is definitely dead now.
LG: I use my heads to "head butt" SG2
Mr. Bones: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]Well, that parrot is definitely dead now.[/otw_shortcode_quote] no it's not. It's just pining for the fjords *rapes lg in the armpit with a machete*
Hamel: *hides cupcaeks: under table, under chair, behind toaster* *puts one on LG's head* >8D
Fenix: *Asplods* *Auto-Life revives BlackFenix* REVENGE! *summons rabbid pitbulls to om nom SG2, then sneaks off to pop enjoylov's balloons*
Bradios: *is now a pile of ashes and semen* ... ... *waiting to be rebuilt by robotic soldiers*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*Auto-Life revives BlackFenix*[/otw_shortcode_quote] THAT IS NOT A FENIX DOWN. *escapes the pitbull attack with a 'tasty treat'...rips tail off and escapes while the dogs are distracted with it* THAT'LL REGENERATE LATER. FOR NOW, REVENGE!! *chainsaws Russell's leg off*
Mr. Bones: *finds hamel's hidden cupcaeks* Mmmm delicious *is too busy nomming on delicious cupcaeks to be bothered to attack anyone*
xL: I...I wanted those cupBUKAKKEs!!! Damn you! Damn you! DAMN YOU!!!! *shoots fire jizz at John*
Mr. Bones: Ewwwwwwwwww *picks up bradios and benderizes xl with him* Also finers keepers bitch
LG: *I start hitting brads remains with a shovel then bitch slap xL*
Lemmy: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*jumps into the Tiger Mech and launches a barrage of grenades at [you]*[/otw_shortcode_quote] Too bad all I was smart enough to eat all your grenades before you threw them. You can't throw at me what I already done gone and blowed myself up with. ...anybody got a mop? o_O
Mr. Bones: *plays a game of why are you hitting yourself with lemmy*
LG: *I cut off Lemmys' hand* Ha now you cant play that bones!
SG2: And here I'm left wondering how a pile of ashes had a hand to hit himself to begin with...or how he had a 'himself' and not just a 'cinders'.
Mr. Bones: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*I cut off Lemmys' hand* Ha now you cant play that bones![/otw_shortcode_quote] Who said I was using his hand? Also wouldn't dismembering a limb make it easier fo me to hit him with it? Finally, its war were declared nothin makes sense, especially when I use my power of retroactive continuity/apparently I can do that now. Now BACK TO MINDLESS, CONFUSING VIOLENCE *suffocates lg with 1 million disembodied VAGEs*
SG2: Noooo, not the VAGEs, that's what turned LG gay to begin with!! Surrounding him with that many...is going to turn him ULTRA SUPER GAY!! Don't awaken his powers!! *launches brick missiles at LG to prevent his transformation*
Bradios: *is rebuilt by robotic minions* ...? *is confused about the turn of events in progress* I guess....everyone is attacking LG now....for some reason...? *Flies into the sky and shoots a barrage of rockets at LG*
LG: *under all the VAGEs something amazing happens, I begin to transform. I look like the hulk instead, though, my skin is pink. I also come with brand new powers.*
Heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyy girls why are you attacking me it really hurts!!!!!??!?!?!!?!! You get a new sprite since all I had to do was recolor the old one. --SG2
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*is confused about the turn of events in progress* I guess....everyone is attacking LG now....for some reason...?[/otw_shortcode_quote] 2 years later and 44 pages in, and you're still confused about the fact that THIS IS WAR?! *stuffs Bradios into a cannon and launches him at the newly-transformed LG* THERE IS NO NEED FOR REASON IN WAR!!!!
xL: You're exactly right, SG2! *throws hot pieces of burnt toast at SG2*
LG: *I use a rainbow shield to protect myself from bradios* The new, like, fabulous LG is mad. HEEEEEYYYYYY GIRL WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!? *I use my PENIS cannon to launch testicles at SG2* suck on that!
Mr. Bones: *uses lg as a hammer to beat xL senseless* Now that's some domestic abuse
LG: *I am seeing stars* Hey that ones Betty White! ehhh... *falls onto the ground*
Bradios: *is forced to reboot after hitting LG's shield head first* Ack! I'm wasting valuable time! *begins firing plasma bullets at LG* I'm sorry! But this war and that means there are NO FRIENDS
xL: *places C4 on a terrorist and sends them running after SG2*
Hamel: *trips the terrorist* Hmm? *eats 
*
Lemmy: *transforms into a harmless asexual plant* Now I'm safe.
SG2: *dons a Lumberjack outfit and grabs an axe* You'll never be safe out of the sea, you treacherous mermaid!! *begins chopping*
Mr. Bones: SG2 using an axe, that's so out of character, it's dangerous to go alone take this *hands SG2 a chainsaw*
Lemmy: Why is she so against my being an asexual plant, dammit. I don't have to pay for food this way...
Mr. Bones: Isn't it obvious? She wants you to pay for food so se can steal your delicious snacks
*does the time warp*
It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bend your knees in tight
And it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane
LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
Lemmy: Time Warp? *waits for Karma to show up...*
LG: *After a few posts I come back even gayer than ever* *I use a rainbow beam to turn the asexual plant gay!* MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
SG2: OH NO YOU DON'T *blocks the gay beam by standing between it and Lemmy* ... ...why do I have a sudden craving for VAGE?
MTS: *comes out of hiding* *sneaks away in hopes of not being attacked by xL's terrorists*
PWR: -Shoves SG2's head into my VAGE.- LET'S BEGIN!
Mr. Bones: *rapes pwr*
SG2: *manages to pull self out of PWR's VAGE* I'm really lucky that was anal sex, or that could have been extremely painful for me... 
*throws a chainsaw grenade at the copulating pair while they're distracted*
Mr. Bones: It wasn't *smiles menacingly* Also. RUN AWAY!!!!!!! *FLEES*
xL: *Gives John a vasectomy...or at least attempts to*
Mr. Bones: *castrates xL with a narwhal before said vasectomy could happen* LEAVE MY JUNK ALONE!!!
Bradios: *Attempts to gun down xL with a gatlin gun*
SG2: -Retired again until Summer '12-
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] And so, between November 7th, 2011 and August 7th, 2012...[/rescue_box]
SG2: Revived on LG's request, though activity is so scarce around here currently that it probably won't turn out any good... Nonetheless, let the War of 2012 begin!!
LG: *Uses a wave of jizz on all that are in a 1000 mile radius* Welcome to the war bitches! *throws a brick at MTS*
Mr. Bones: *surfs on a narwhal on the jizz wave and rapes xL in the eye*
SG2: *eye phobia* NOT COOL, MAN. *slaps John and the narwhal through 50 discount brick walls* Please don't retaliate with something graphic and eye-related though, please. Like, srsly, you know how I am about that shit.
LG: *me uses the PENIS army to tackle SG2*
SG2: *read that as 'the PENIS arms' and thought LG got a new power* *dodge* Nice try, but your PENISES don't scare me!! *shows LG a detailed diagram of the inside of a VAGE*
xL: *Dumps a boiling-hot pot of spaghetti sauce down SG2's shirt*
LG: IT'S LIKE A TRAIN WRECK I WANT TO LOOK AWAY BUT I CAN'T! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! I DONT LIKE VAGE!!!!!!!
SG2: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *slaps xL away after informing him tigers don't wear shirts, then summons an actual train to run over LG while he's distracted*
xL: *Massages Traitor's back with a semi-automatic*
MTS: *smashes brick that's been flying at my head for 11 days with a massive Thor-like hammer* FOR AMURICUHHHH! *shoots at LG with a broccoli bazooka*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] And then with those as the only posts between August 7th and 18th...October 11th rolled around, and it was locked once more.[/rescue_box]
SG2: I'm not sure why I even reopened this. 
[/rescue_box]
PWR: -smashes a chair over Alex's head.-
PWR: Oh shit.. I probably should've put this in the spam section, huh? 
LG: *stabs PWR in the boobies*
SG2: LOL. Well okay, we have two possible courses of action here. A) I could move it to the spam section and we can carry on there while excluding half the board who can't see that section or B) I could merge it with the old WAR WERE DECLARED topic and revive it because I want it to set a record for having a huge number of pages instead of making a new topic for the war. Whatever we end up doing, *punts PWR in the groin* WHATEVER YOU HAVE IN THERE, IT PROBABLY STILL HURTS.
Mr. Bones: *uses SG2 as a flail to pummel xL* I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M DOING THIS! BUT IT'S FUN!
PWR: -Groans with pleasure.- YOU FORGET THAT I LOVE PAINFUL GROIN SENSATIONS. I vote the second choice. 
-Shoves an anal plug up LG's little hole.- NO MOAR SEX
[/rescue_box]
Khaos: July 21st, 2009? That be the day my second ex dumped me. War was definitely declared that day. He still has a boot to crotch moment coming for him. Just broke up with me, no reason. Everything was awesome too. I thought we were going to be together for a long time. Nope...
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] I think he was referring to JUNE 21st, 2009, the date the thread was first created...and, in typical Khaos fashion, found a way to equate that to his boyfriend problems[/rescue_box]
SG2: ...where'd you even pull that date from? In any case, not to sound rude, Khaos, but...I feel super awkward now. This thread is WAR WERE DECLARED...47 pages and counting about basically all of us just beating the shit out of each other. Your post sorta breaks up the general mood of things, and I was initially unsure how to reply...but figured that if I didn't say something, no one would, because you're damned if you do (by ignoring your post and continuing on the topic) and damned if you don't (ignoring the thread altogether, unsure how to respond at all). Sorry if that comes off rude, it's not my intention, just...gotta sense the tone of the threads sometimes, y'know? It felt like a bit of a downer. So, to move past the awkwardness...I'm just gonna throw a chair at you. *is released from flailing xL and throws a chair at Khaos*
Khaos: Oh this is the off topic section? See this is why I should stop drinking and posting late at night... lol. I'm sorry. Oh a chair? Lame. *gets one of his special pies out and smashes it in SG2's face* Yes, special "chocolate" PAIZURI 
Edit: Ah, the good ole word filter... Nice one.
xL: *licks the pie off of SG2's face*
SG2: *grapples xL and throws him forcefully into a wall of discount bricks* Once again, I totally forgot that pie filtered to PAIZURI. I regret nothing. Also no worries Khaos, I just thought I'm mention it...pies, huh? A little insight into your fighting style, perhaps? *throws a caek in his face*
Mr. Bones: *pelts everyone with piping hot strudel* PASTRY FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PWR: Sorry to hear about that, Khaos. But the past is past, right? Cheer up! -Shoves a suicide bomber crow into your mouth and leaps away.-
SG2: Fool, your pastry-based attacks will only make me stronger!! THE SG2 TIGER GAINS POWER FROM SUGARY SNACKS!! *devours all the strudels thrown in everyone's faces as an immense aura begins to surround her* AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA-- Ugh, I think I ate too many...don't feel so good... *collapses on the spot*
Mr. Bones: i didnt mention that the strudels werefilled with rohypnol and ghb and iced with icing laced with chloroform, did i? *pokes SG2 with a pointy stick*
SG2: *foams at the mouth but remains motionless*
xL: This was the first thing that popped up when I clicked on the thread and, before scrolling up to see what was actually done to you, I instantly wanted to assume it was of my sexual ecstasies. Since I was wrong, but don't want to admit that I was, I am going to pretend you're drooling at the sight of me. Now, I'll take you to this randomly appearing bed in the middle of the battlefield.
PWR: Lol wow Alex, I've never seen you so still in my life. -Forces a Full Heal into SG2's mouth and cradle's her.- No one will kill you.. unless its me! -pulls a knife out of my VAGE and holds it over your head.-
Mr. Bones: kill SG2? i lol'd *shoves pwr down a snow covered hill to form a giant snowball ravaging everything in its path*
Bradios: Oh hey! It's our yearly WAR WERE DECLARED general! *brings out dual cannons mounted to his wrists* Welp! Better get things rolling! *Begins pelting everybody with stale loafs of bread*
Karma: I am way too lazy to read through 48 pages...why are you guys all warring? *stands off to the side, drinking Earl Grey with a dash of blood mixed in*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]kill SG2? i lol'd[/otw_shortcode_quote] While it's true that I cannot be killed, there are still enough unspeakable things PWR could do to me that I don't want to think about... *dropkicked and pulled away from PWR just before her snowballing* [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]am way too lazy to read through 48 pages...why are you guys all warring?[/otw_shortcode_quote] Well, I've got a transcript version that covers everything up until its revival a page ago, if that's more convenient. But the short answer to your question is...there is no answer. We're just fighting because we can. *teleports behind Karma, steals the left-handed knife off her person, and shanks her with it, causing her to drop and spill her tea*
xL: HEY YOU. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY RANDOMLY APPEARING MAGICAL BED.
Mr. Bones: *sets xL's magically appearing bed ablaze* the world is a much safer place now that that bed has been incinerated. now to real war *uses lightning tether on bradios*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]HEY YOU. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN MY RANDOMLY APPEARING MAGICAL BED.[/otw_shortcode_quote] Lol I actually missed that post when we moved to a new page...BUT CLEARLY PWR took me out of your arms before you brought me to a bed, and that's when she gave me a Full Heal (which healed my poison from the pastries, but since it's not a Full Restore I'm still weak and injured)...then I escaped her clutches before she turned into a snowball. See, it totally all makes sense. [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]This was the first thing that popped up when I clicked on the thread and, before scrolling up to see what was actually done to you, I instantly wanted to assume it was of my sexual ecstasies.[/otw_shortcode_quote] Sexual Ecstasies...is that some kind of Super Date Rape Drug that you've invented?! It makes sense...though it also sounds like it could be the name of a snackfood, though considering your brand of toast, I probably wouldn't be putting it in my mouth either way. *wails on xL with a massive 12x24 beam of wood for trying to take advantage of her unconsciousness*
Karma: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*teleports behind Karma, steals the left-handed knife off her person, and shanks her with it, causing her to drop and spill her tea*[/otw_shortcode_quote] Did...did you just....SPILL my TEA? *ENRAGED over the loss of delicious blood tea* *transforms to the WEREKARMA and launches at SG2 to maul her*
SG2: *is torn and shredded mercilessly, left to lie in a pool of blood (tea)* I know you're n-not supposed to cry over spilled tea...but it's just so...p-painful...
Mr. Bones: *leashes WereKarma and ties her to a fencepost* RUN AWAAAAAAAAY! *knocks LG down a flight of stairs and grabs MTS as a human shield in the process of my flight*
xL: *Bites Hamel's ear*
Karma: *snarls in frustration and gnaws on the leash, trying to get free* *shifts back to Paladin-Kaiser Karma and cuts leash with left-handed knife* THAT'S IT MAN. *splashes hand sanitizer in Bones' face. That shit STINGS you know!*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]cuts leash with left-handed knife[/otw_shortcode_quote] ...wait, how did you... I thought I took that away when I stabbed you with it!!
Karma: My left handed knife was enchanted by my magical witch powers and always returns to me now. A bit like how Beatrice can put down her pipe and summon it back whenever the hell she wants. Incidentally, *shanks SG2's mauled bits with left-handed knife*
SG2: I-I think I'm just g-gonna...leave the battlefield for the moment...a-and recuperate... *teleports self and shredded bits of flesh off to somewhere unknown* Also this way someone else can post and avoid this becoming a one-sided conversation
Mr. Bones: my eyes, and now slightly compromised immune system *flails blindly striking someone in the next person to post in the back of the head*
SG2: Okay...maybe it's safe to return to the battlefield now. *teleports back in and is immediately struck* Ow, my next-person-to-post-in-the-back-of-the-head!!
Khaos: I think its time for SG2 to taste one of my homemade chocolate pies. What ingredients do I use? Oh something real special
Bradios: Chocolate Pies do not belong on a battlefield! Take your baked goods back to the bakery you Dodo! *shoots assorted soda cans at Khaos' head*
Karma: BRADIOS YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE WASTING GOOD QUALITY VANILLA COKE WITH THOSE SODA CAN SHOTS OR THERE WILL BE *HELL* TO PAY.
SG2: Bradios, please enlighten me as to how soda cans are more appropriate weapons for the battlefield than shit chocolate pies. 
*chugs down a Cheese Soda-brand sports drink* Ah, refreshing. *chucks the can at Karma's head*
Mr. Bones: *slips on a can of coca cola* how dare you waste such a delicious soda *runs over bradios with a bus*
Karma: *clonked on the head with a can and falls over* Ow....that is surprisingly hefty for an empty can! *starts to leap at SG2, but spots the bus* OH GAWD, NOT AGAIN! *flees*
SG2: Pffffft hahahaha I totally forgot about your bad luck getting run over by buses!! Sucks to be you, you-- *notices the driver of said bus looks familiar* Well shit. Gotta go!! *teleports to the other side of the battlefield and attacks [you]* Nobody ever uses the 'you' bbcode, so I thought I'd mix it up a bit for potentially interesting results
LG: *Uses my PENIS cannon to cover SG2 in jizz*
PWR: -Melts the gigantic snowball that she is trapped in with the easy bake oven hidden within her VAGE.- Well fuck.. -Is attacked by SG2 but quickly retaliates by facepalming her and then pulling back her moist, VAGE lips to reveal a clit-gattling gun.. proceeds to shoot at SG2.- EAT MY OVARIES, BITCHHH.
Cowsy: *defends SG2's attack with a giant bucket of milk* *retaliates with the automatic moo machine*
Mr. Bones: *locks cowsy in an oven conveniently set to 350 degrees*
LG: *stabs PWR in the tits and runs away*
SG2: That's the second time you've stabbed PWR in the breasts, LG...are you trying to tell us something? ARE YOU A THRALL OF MTS' MIND CONTROL, OUT TO DESTROY ANY BOSOMS THAT DARE STAND AS COMPETITION TO YOUR MASTER?!?!?!? *grabs MTS and throws her through 27 plate glass windows*
LG: I cant be controlled by her boobs I'M GAY!!!! *spanks SG2's ass and names her sally*
Bradios: *gets up from being run over by a bus* Nihihi~ Time to take advantage while they're distracted by each other... *begins setting landmines in random areas across the area*
Mr. Bones: *throws the bus into reverse and aims it at bradios again* i guess i didnt do the job right the first time
MTS: MTS NEEDS HELP FROM NO ONE *picks shards of glass from her skin and eats them like nothing* *smacks SG2 across the jaw with a massive bear cock* As for the rest of you... *summons giant boob demon who spews searing breast milk in every direction*
SG2: *sits up, wiping blood from her chin after the bear wanging* I think I've been playing too many Megami Tensei games lately, but this is what came to mind when I pictured a boob demon... ...and for that matter, if PWR and LG could also summon demons (PWR probably can, not sure what LG can summon besides walls), there's this and this from the same series......
xL: *attempts to sneak up behind LG*
Fuzzy: *yawns as I wake up* *takes a look over my cloud and realizes there's a war going on* Oh dear I think I've missed something. I suppose I should play peacemaker.... Nah. *Summons thunderclouds, takes aim, and fires onto xL* I SEE YOU CREEPING AROUND THERE! >8D I DUNNO WHAT'S GOING ON BUT IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS CUTE AND CUDDLY I WILL AVENGE MY BEAUTY SLEEP! *takes out dream sand and molds it into the weirdest fucking dream about boob demons and VAGE monsters before sprinkling it over everyone*
Mr. Bones: *drinks massive ammounts of energy drink* pfft sleep is for the dead *urinates in everyone's coffee*
Fuzzy: Sleep is wonderful when it's uninterrupted! and LOL I'm immune to your coffee shenanigans! I don't drink the stuff. *casually throws a cat in Tiger's face for no reason*
SG2: [otw_shortcode_quote border_style="bordered"]*takes out dream sand and molds it into the weirdest fucking dream about boob demons and VAGE monsters before sprinkling it over everyone*[/otw_shortcode_quote] *yawns and wakes up in the middle of a field*
Aaaaahhhnnn...man, I just had the most crazy f'd up dream. All the IGNOites were fighting each other, and LG spanked my ass and called me Sally...then MTS whipped me with a bear cock and suddenly I was being attacked by giant boob monSTOH GOD THEY'RE REAL
I FORGOT FUZZY CAN BRING DREAMS TO LIFE
*makes a mad dash away from the milk-spewing tit monster, tripping several of Bradios' landmines along the way and being sent flying* FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-------------
Mr. Bones: *throws a brick wall in front of flying SG2* muahahahahahaha
Fuzzy: *see's Bradios is unconscious from being run over and peeks in on his dreams* Wow this guy has some fucked up dreams. TIME TO BRING THEM TO LIFE~ >8D *Summons tentacle monsters and some predators before turning them loose*
Fenix: *walks by the fight carrying armfuls of petrol cans and fertilizer*
Fuzzy: *Shoots one of the petrol cans with Bradios' gun and the whole cart explodes*
Fenix: *me is incinerated to a pile of ash*
xL:[spoiler title="Spoiler: click to toggle"]
[/spoiler]
Fenix: *A small fire erupts from the ashes and gradually grows larger until it's 6 feet tall. When it fades, Blackfenix is standing there without a scratch on him.* *Blackfenix scurries off*
SG2: *finally returns after being flung hundreds of feet away and slammed into a flying brick wall to see the land being terrorized by Godzilla-sized tentacle monsters and other dream creatures brought to life by Fuzzy* Well shit, I guess it's a good thing she got a hold of Bradios and not xL...well, let's do this thing. *jumps into the long-forgotten DeathTiger mech and engages the monsters in hand-to-hand combat*
Mr. Bones: *appears out of nowhere* IM BAAAAAAAAAACK! *bakes xL into a delicious bagel*
SG2: *shoves LG down a waterslide*
LG: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Once I get to the bottom of the slide I throw my bonerang at MTS*
[rescue_box color="gray" text_align="left" width="100%" float="none"] The last post was made in January of 2014. After months of inactivity and uncertainty for our future, the decision to move to jcink was made in April of the same year. The legacy of War Were Declared continues to this day, though whether it's better or worse than the original is in the eye of the beholder.[/rescue_box]
