Corey's crazy rants

Corey: ya, so i want to know you opinion on my rants before i start posting them all in one place

SG2: Heh, Corey, we NEED an entire thread just for your rants.

Silver: do you know what do corey's rants have to do with? Commies, of course! I still need to hunt down that person who parked in my space...

ville: They are pointless and creepy. Now Corey is writing essays, papers, and satires for school about me. Sort of creepy, obscessive behavior. *shudders*

SG2: So, Corey...you planning to start ranting any time soon?

Corey: i put the word communism in the essay and suddenly it is about andrew, wtf

SG2: Well, what else could you expect from UNICOMM?

Corey: so friday i'm driving andrew home from school because he doen't have a licence or a car but thats not the story, anyway, we are leaving the school and we get stuck behind those damn busses, i hate those busses, we should be able to leave the back way insted of having to wait for those damn busses, always stopping on the road, i think people who stop on the road should be shot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway, we are leaving school and jim clinton is behind us and andrew in his untimate wisdome decided to flip him off which in turn sparked jim to whip open a knife and close it again repeatedly all the way to lovel st in westminster (really far distance from oakmont) to be cool like jim, i whiped out an umbrella which was very not the same but i had to take the tire iron out because it had rust and i wanted to fix that anyway we got stuck behind a bus at girfittie bridge and i decide to get away from jim cuz he is scaring us so we go down north common rd and jim stayes up with me even though i am going 55 mph down a wicked back road to make it more fun i have a florida car and this is the first time it has seen snow and ice so that means the tires are crap for winter driving so the ass end is going everywhere and merriam is singing his remake for "wake me up when september ends" to make it better, after we get on lovel street, andrew tells me to roll down my window so we can yell at tomato and when i stop, about 15 seconds later some jackass slams into me. my entire dashboard falls out and we get out and there is no other damage to my car and the dude has a wicked bent bumper and his foglite is crap and me and the guy agree to not do anything to the other but andrew has to say, "corey what about your dash" so i say, "andrew you jackass, if i had put the screws back in from when i replaced it, the dash would still be attached but it hasn't been for about 4 months" andrew said "oh ya, i forgot about that" and we left. later that night i went to the dance then went to the winchendon McDonalds with alex popko, rob dyke, and a few other people later i went home saturday me and andrew went to his grandmothers and on the way home, we stoped at the winchendon micky d's. when i got there, i realized that i was in the drive through but i couldn't get my window down so i got out after we got the food and i droped andrew off at his house i went over another friend's house and we went to burger king in g-vegas. then we went to dollar tree at wal-mart mtn, it was closed so we went to burger king at searstown and did an order ditch and ended up getting a rock thrown at my car. mr anderson is throwing me out of the library so the moral of the story is never trust andrew's judgement

ville: Learn to spell Corey,. An I did not just flip him off, I waved and did Jazz hands. Dammit!!! JAZZ HANDS!!!!!!!!

Corey: ok, so yesterday me and the crazy person whom we all know as "andrew" and i decided to go for a drive and we went to the AAA office in Leominster because i have a membership and i got a shitload of Tourbooks, Campbooks, and Maps and then we went to newberry comics where andrew and i bought some guns and we then were driving away and andrew is flashing his gun at every car we pass so there is this cop who starts to follow us with his lights on but we lost him in traffic and about a minuit later, there he was, behind the car behind me and so i pulled over and the guy and the cop kept going for another 1/4 mile where he was pulled over and andrew in his ultimate wisdom flashes his gun at the cop but the cop isn't watching so we continue on our way to bj's wholesale club where i get gas and some candy and some danishes and look for studded snow tires but they don't sell them so we go to bob's store where andrew gets new boots and then we go to the car wash and i get the PREMIUM WASH cuz it is awsome and we take of the little ball on my antenna but don't take off the magnet so it gets blown off so i make andrew get out and get it when we are done but the water starts spraying him and it is very funny but he gets back in and we go around front and buy some really big drinks but as we are leaving, some dude who was walking away from a car window says to us, "yo, do you smoke?" and andrew is like yes but i'm like no, andrew get in the car and we drive off and andrew is like dude i wanted some crack and some pot and i'm like it could have been a cop and andrew was like dude i'm telling my mom that there was a drug dealer who was trying to sell us drugs and oh ya adding to the car wash, i got a teflon coating so now my car is awsome but back to the story, we are driving down the highway and i realize that my pager went off and that there is a motor vehicle accident and i say to andrew that i was throwing him out as we drove by and he is like ok so i stop infront of his house and he gets out and i floor it and bearly miss the truck-i should have brought him with me, it would have saved me time but i still got payed the same but thats what i did yesterday

SG2: corey why do you always have to type your messages like this it is very annoying to try and train my eyes to read because i don't speak corey-speak and it is a pain to read when people do not use correct capitalization and punctuation or even breaks between what they want to say it is just a block of text and it feels like i am reading something written by a third grader wtf are you a third grader corey then dont act like one it is frustrating to read blocks of text when especially you have a short attention span like me and are left handed and use your right brain and that makes me end up reading the same sentence over and over and over again and i get upset like wtf why cant corey be normal and type normal like everyone else wtf you are pissing me off why do you do it is it an anti unicomm thing or are you lazy or just like being a bastard wtf corey you are retarded why not just type without even spaces if your gonna do it go all out likethisdoyouseewhatiamsayingyoucantreadthisveryeasilycanyoumoreannoyingthanleetspeakhuhwhydontijuststarttalkinglikethisfromnowonandcallitsg2speakifyou
doyoursincoreyspeakhuhwtfifthisispissingyouoffguesswhatyoursdoesthesamesojustdontdoityourrantsarefunnybutchristcoreycantyoutypethemlikeanormalpersonseeif
someonewhodidntknowmewasreadingthisiwouldcomeofflikearetardwhodidntknowgoodspellingorgrammarskillsandisjustplaindumbandnotusingmybrainorsomethingrightso
cutthecrapitisreallyannoying

ville: So true.

SG2: Andrew, did you actually try to read that?

Corey: well if you want to type it for me then mabye i'll stop but till then: so on friday after finals, we go to that chinese restraunt neer blockbuster i think it begins with an s but anyway we go in and andrew is being his usual stupid self spewing whatever happens to jump into his mind now we are in a chinese restraunt and he says to me "doesn't tim look fat?" and i'm like dude where did that come from and he is like look at the fat pig and i said ya ok just to drop the conversaton and when tim gets back to the table andrew says "tim, we are very conserned for your health-mabye you should not eat as much" and tim says "go f*** monkey balls you stupid white person" and so andrew and i go to get food and not only does andrew take a saucer to eat off of but he takes like the non chinese stuff and when we get back to the table andrew is like tim i hat you and tim is like why and andrew is like...I have to go-i'll finish it later

SG2: ... ...Was that rant finished, Corey?

Cumtastic: WHO IS THIS COREY?

SG2: ...Corey is...um...Corey.

Corey: ya, i never finished that rant, but anyway to a more recent and pressing matter-communism. so i have just finished my entire report on communism i did for the fun of it, outlining people in the government who are communists. as you all know, when the soviet union "fell" as they want you to believe, it had many wepons that were "lost", in english, given to terrorists. this makes the soviet union the largest supplier of terrorists so in order to stop the terrorists, we need to kill the commies, starting with the soviet union and every other country that was part of their eastern european satilite countries. in order to make this fair though, we need to blame the terrorists who will be more than happy to take credit for it until they realize that without the soviet union, they can't get any more nukes. but anyway, by cutting off cheap arms and other things, we can stop terrorism, because what is terrorism except an extention of communism? This also means that andrew is a terrorist, and if you talk to him, you are helping terrorism-DON'T TALK TO ANDREW

SG2: It's all so clear now. ANDREW MUST BE STOPPED.

Corey: see? thats what i've been saying for years, come on, now it is about time we took action against the communists