#5: Holly Jolly Chaos
This tale takes place in midsummer, shortly after the Blood Kaiser, Karma, took her leave from IGNOLand to travel the world, and her familiar Fenix stepped in as Interim Kaiser as IGNOLand needed guidance. All was well, and there were many newcomers to IGNOLand who joined the citizenry- things were prosperous.
It begins, as usual, with IGNOites gathered together enjoying a meal and some chit-chat until suddenly they're informed of a great danger. In this case, it's the shock of a note found in Fenix's room written in German, which translated, reads "All Worship the Blood Emperor...Fenix is the Blood Emperor. Glory to the Garden Gnomes. When life gives you lemons, blood for the Blood Emperor...blood for the Garden Gnomes." This and other evidence found in his chambers indicate he has been collaborating with and selling IGNOLand secrets to IGNOLand's arch enemies, the gnomes. Bones, Fenix's long-time friend, flies into a rage at this betrayal and runs off on his own. It's then surmised that due to the note being in German, it may not be the work of the gnomes after all, but their German kin the Shrubbery Dwarves - and it's only due to an error in translation that 'zwergen' is approximated to 'gnomes' and not 'dwarves'.
As everyone is preparing to head out (together - not split into teams!!!!) and get to the bottom of this betrayal, and discover what the dwarves could be plotting, Bones returned soaked from the rain with an unconscious Fenix in his arms. When Fenix comes to, he explains the reasons behind his betrayal - a few weeks prior, someone knocked on the door to his volcanic fortress...a citizen of the Ice Kingdom, who had nearly melted completely just getting to the fortress alive. Before dying on his doorstep, the ice soldier tells Fenix that they need his help rescuing their princess, who has been transformed into a terrible monster by the ice kingdom's arch enemies, the shrubbery dwarves. He begs Fenix, the only one with powerful enough fire magic to stand a chance against stopping the monster's rampage and turning the princess back to normal, to help their kingdom. Not one to ignore the dying wishes of a brave soldier, or sit back while a beautiful princess is in danger, Fenix decides to help...however, the ice fortress is heavily-guarded by dwarves and it's not enough for him to just storm in and save the day. As acting Kaiser of IGNOLand, he could demand the help of its citizens, but he doesn't want to abuse his temporary power by risking the lives of his people - he decides he must do this himself. As an intelligent strategist, Fenix decides to forgo brute strength in favor of using his cunning to get on the side of the dwarves by selling them IGNOLand secrets and convincing them he can help them take over IGNOLand, and destroy their arch enemies - the garden gnomes.
This ploy seems to work, and the dwarves warm up to Fenix. He is thus allowed to enter their fortress in the Ice Kingdom freely, and had fully intended on invading this night and rescuing the princess. In his research, however, he managed to uncover a terrifying secret...the cause of the princess' transformation was a mutant strain of Piski Dust that the dwarves had been engineering, and she was merely the test subject of a much larger plan to use the dust to turn all of the Ice Kingdom into monsters to do their bidding and take over the world!! Fenix feared he had dug himself too deep, but couldn't bear to ask his people to help him on what he felt was HIS mission.
As Fenix finishes relating this tale, the IGNOites are shocked...both at the horrific plan of the dwarves as well as the fact that Fenix would keep this secret to protect them. They tell him to snap out of it and realize that they're not just his kingdom's subjects since he became Kaiser - they're also his friends, as they had been before his Kaisership, and would continue to be with or without his power. All he would have had to do is ask them to help, not as loyal citizens, but as friends. Fenix is touched at the display, even after his betrayal...and everyone agrees to work together to invade the Ice Kingdom, capture and destroy the mutant strain of Piski Dust, and turn the princess back to normal. They split into the usual teams to carry out these individual missions and head off to the location of the Ice Kingdom - The North Pole.
The troops are SG2, Lemmy, Crisis, Aibou, Fenix, Bones, Ms. MadHatter, Cumtastic, Ville, Corey, Katie, Angel, Coriander Mankey, OddCL, Mr. Chichen, Sage, and newcomers Bradios, xL, and LG. With the scope of the mission changed, the group splits into teams after all, as two groups of 10 - one storming the Dwarf Fortress, while the other goes to confront the transformed princess and prevent her from destroying more of her own kingdom while they wait for the others to get the piski dust. The plan is to reverse-engineer the mutated dust and create an antidote to restore the princess' original form. Still ever-determined, the groups persevere through the challenges and the first team eventually reaches the top of the gnome fortress. As the mutated piski dust is just within their grasp...it's snatched away by a scrawny, scaly green hand. The gang looks up to see a familiar (to everyone but SG2, who has again forgotten) face - the Krampus. Unlike the way he usually appears before them, however, he is extremely scrawny, with an elderly, malnourished appearance. This is because it's the middle of July, and Christmas is still 6 months away - this is how the Krampus appears the rest of the year, as per the rules of his immortality. The Krampus only gets closer to his full power the closer it is to Christmas, leaving everyone baffled as to why he's here right now. The Krampus tells them to look around, as the building they're in now should be familiar...this is his (rebuilt, yet again) ice fortress, standing in the same place as it does every year!!
The reason Fenix had tracked the dwarves' base of operations to this fortress is because the Krampus had struck a deal with them. The dwarves, living underground beneath the Ice Kingdom much like the gnomes do beneath IGNOLand, would be allowed to transform all of the Ice Kingdom's citizens into monsters and take over their land, in exchange for the piski dust. This was all the Krampus' plan to amass a powerful army in advance, before the coming of Christmas, having grown genre-savvy enough to expect the heroes of IGNOLand to put a stop to his plans on Christmas Eve as they do every year. By planning his invasion in advance, while still in his weak state, they wouldn't suspect him of any wrongdoing and he'd be able to get away with building an unbeatable team of ice monsters. He demonstrates their unmatchable raw power by ordering the dwarves to line up before him... of course, the Krampus didn't tell them that they would then be transformed into monsters, as well, all to do his bidding. With what little strength he possesses, he crushes the vial of mutant piski dust and transforms all the dwarves in the room into gigantic, hulking Frost Giants!! Though the Krampus himself may be powerless right now, he thanks the IGNOites for stopping by, his only regret that the ones who foil him every year won't live to see what he has planned for Christmas.
Meanwhile, Fenix's team has been battling the transformed princess...a gigantic beast made of ice, several times larger than the transformed dwarves the others are battling. She can only be described as an Ice Hulk, and not even the combined power of the team can stop her...Fenix should be able to summon his strongest fire spells and stand a chance, but he's holding back out of fear of hurting the princess...the princess who is demolishing her entire kingdom around them. As his team is on the verge of dying, he makes the decision to grab them and run to the fortress, leading the princess directly after them...hoping the other team will have secured the antidote by the time they get there.
Of course, the other team is doing no better, with 10 powerful frost giants beating the ever-loving crap out of them. The Krampus sits on his throne and laughs at how powerless they are against the giants, wondering why he hadn't come up with this plan years ago. SG2 struggles to her feet, and says that even though they're powerless...so is he. The Krampus' eyes widen as the small SG2 breaks past the giants as her friends hold them off and makes her way to the Krampus' throne. Without his Christmas powers, the Krampus is even weaker than them...and the dwarves he betrayed would probably love to have a chat with him. SG2 grabs hold of the Krampus's weak body and tosses him into the fray...surrounded by 10 angry giants, he screams as they close in. Taking the opportunity as a distraction, SG2 sweeps up all the scattered piski dust off the floor that she can before her friends grab her and haul it out of the ice fortress.
As they step outside...they're greeted by the sight of Fenix's team running right at them with the Ice Hulk charging along behind. Fenix warns them that there's no way they can defeat it, and asks if they've got the antidote...but SG2 explains what happened, and that inside the fortress isn't safe, either. Thinking quickly, Bones steps to the forefront and commands everyone to different tasks, insisting that they trust him - SG2 tosses the small vial of remnant piski dust to Crisis, who analyzes its makeup and determines the recipe for an antidote. Fortunately, all the ingredients are available in the Ice Kingdom, but unfortunately, they need to be gathered. Everyone works together using their skills, with most of the members going off to gather the necessary ingredients while the others do their best to hold off the Ice Hulk. SG2 manages to grab onto the beast's tail and climb up its body, struggling to hold on as it thrashes around.
When the ingredients are finally gathered and given to Crisis to assemble an antidote, Bones commands everyone to line up directly into the path of the rampaging Ice Hulk...everyone of course thinks he's insane, but he screams, JUST TRUST ME!! and they do it. At that last second, he tells them to scatter, and the completed antidote is tossed to SG2, who has managed to climb to the top of the Ice Hulk. She chucks the bottle into the beast's mouth just as it crashes headlong into the Ice Fortress...
The entire fortress comes crashing down on top of the beast, as well as the 10 Frost Giants and what's left of the Krampus inside. However...it has also collapsed onto SG2. Everyone is stunned into silence...it's true that Bones' plan managed to stop the unstoppable Ice Hulk, but at what cost? Fenix screams at him for killing SG2, but Bones screams back that if he hadn't been so afraid to use his power as the Interim Kaiser and give orders to his own people, Bones wouldn't have had to step up into his place. Fenix is silent, pensive...as it sinks in, Bones tells him to look more closely. From the rubble, there's a small movement and the sight of an orange tail twitching...SG2 is alive!! Bones then reminds them all that SG2 can't die, which was the whole reason he chose her for that job. As everyone gathers around and pulls the injured tiger from the dust, they also notice that the dwarves, and even the princess, have been restored to their normal forms...but even after clearing the debris, the Krampus' body cannot be found. The IGNO crew surmises they will probably be seeing him again in 6 months, but for now, they grab the Ice Princess and head back to Blood Castle.
3 days later, the princess has regained consciousness, and told that Fenix is the one who saved her. She wants to thank her hero in person, but is told she'll have to wait - he's currently requesting all citizens gather in the Blood Auditorium so he can make an announcement. In the auditorium, Fenix makes a speech to all the citizens, and declares that he has decided to step down from the position of Kaiser in Karma's absence. Everyone is shocked, and worried about what they should do without a proper leader. Fenix states that, as his last act as Kaiser, he will appoint a new leader in his place - and appoints Bones. Bones is shocked at the announcement, but Fenix says that if it weren't for him, he would never have come to his senses and asked his friends for help when he needed it...and besides, Bones is far more capable at leading the people than he is. And so it is that Bones became Konungur of IGNOLand, but grants Fenix a position of high rank in his cabinet, knighting him with the name Herr Reese. And with that wrapped up, Fenix meets with the princess, who thanks him for saving her and her kingdom. IGNOLand will help in the rebuilding efforts, and Bones says she can call them any time the dwarves give them trouble.
And so ends the harrowing pre-Christmas adventure. Fenix and the princess EnjoyLov begin to date for some time, though eventually their opposing natures of fire and ice prevent things from working out. With his new position of power, Konungur Bones becomes an unexpected tyrant, ruling IGNOLand with an iron fist fluffy hugs, though he does maintain the peace and protection of his people. And as it goes, the rest is history.
